Forums: Clubs: Mental Training: The Rock Warrior's Way: Re: [miavzero] How to leave your ego behind?: Edit Log


Feb 28, 2008, 1:11 AM

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Registered: Feb 18, 2008
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Re: [miavzero] How to leave your ego behind?
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First, I want to highly recommend you read Steph Davis' book titled "High Infatuation: A Climber's Guide to Love and Gravity" There's a quote from the book that I wrote down when I was reading that really addresses some of the things you're talking about, so I'll go ahead and share it with you"

"Over the years, I encountered conflicting attitudes toward me as a
young woman climber. For a long time I felt that I was often
figuratively patted on the head excessively praised for the things
that weren't really all that impressive, by real climbing standards,
just because I was a decent-looking girl. But at other times, when I
did do a particularly good climb, I sometimes encountered a surprising
degree of negativity. It was as if there was a certain place for me
as a women, although it took a long time for me to figure that out.
Looking nice in pictures and climbing at a high but not threatening
level were fine. As I started to push myself harder, things changed.
Sometimes the change was subtle, sometimes not."

Kinda long, but I think it's appropriate here. I think this is something women climbers struggle with a lot.

It's funny though -- it doesn't seem to happen to me all that often, or maybe I just don't notice it when it does happen. I think part of it is that most of my climbing partners are quite a bit better than me and the few that aren't better than me are quite a bit worse. So I'm usually either learning from my partners, and following them up routes that would be too difficult for me to lead, or I'm teaching them how to place gear and I'm the one doing all of the leading. Or maybe I'm just not good enough for guys to find me threatening.

Anyway, my only suggestion is to really try to remember why you're there. When people treat you like you're invisible or like you don't know what you're doing, remember that you *do* know what you're doing and try to let it roll off your back. If you climb like you have something to prove, you're going to end up in pissing contests with guys that can't keep their egos in check, and that's no fun! I know it's easier said than done. I really think you should read Steph's book!

And I'm sorry to put in another quote here, but I just can't help myself because it's so similar to what you're saying!! So if I haven't been successful in giving you a strategy to leave your ego behind, at least I hope I've made you feel like someone really gets what you're saying.

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes'; They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'" --Clare Boothe Luce

I say, stick it to all the egotistical guys by showing them how much fun women can have climbing -- whatever ability they climb at. I think if you quietly enjoy your difficult climbs, you'll win over the respect of other (male) climbers much better then you will if you're climbing like you have something to prove anyway. And if they want beta, but won't take it from you, just laugh silently while they flail away on the wall.

And at the very least, it sounds like your partner has a lot of respect for you as a climber -- and that can be hard to find in climber guys!

Good luck, and climb on!


(This post was edited by caliclimbergrl on Feb 28, 2008, 1:20 AM)

Edit Log:
Post edited by caliclimbergrl () on Feb 28, 2008, 1:20 AM

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