Forums: Climbing Disciplines: Big Wall and Aid Climbing: ** Index To Dr. Piton Stuff **: Edit Log


Dec 21, 2002, 4:58 PM

Views: 119350

Registered: Oct 9, 2001
Posts: 2183

** Index To Dr. Piton Stuff **
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  


Agape - pronounced "ah-GAP-pay" - the highest form of love. Forgiving and unconditional, volitional as well as emotional, a choice or decision. Agape is what you do for someone when you don't feel like loving them

Babe-O-Licious - see shagadelic [in reference to a hottie]

Bail - to retreat or fail [from]

Bailmaster - one who specializes in bailing [ex. Big Wall Pete - so named because he failed so many times, at least at first] Frequently found in El Cap Meadows gazing longingly upwards, a bail- master is able to provide you with every excuse you might ever need for failing to climb a big wall. The creativity of a bailmaster is unparalled, except perhaps by that of a BWT

BBB - Bitchin' Beyond Belief, in reference to a hottie who is ETS

Better Way - Dr. Piton's methods for big wall climbing. Remember that the Better Way does not purport to be the Best Way. It is like a smorgass- bord - it's OK to put some of the stuff on your plate, and leave some behind

Big Wall Anything - an anything with a clip-in loop added [ex. big wall wine bottle, big wall microwave oven]

Big Wall Crab - a climbing crustacean who specializes in solo ascents of El Cap

Bitchin' - swell, excellent, of the highest quality

Bold text - Dr. Piton hallmark

BSEG - big sh*t-eating grin

Buddy - Canuck for "that dude" [ex. buddy over there on the wall]

BWG - Big Wall Gumby, a climber whose wank factor frequently spirals out of control, yet who somehow, some way, has managed by fair means to reach the summit of at least one big wall

BWT - Big Wall Theorist - a free climber with virtually no aid or wall climbing experience who is willing to tell you step by step each and every thing you should be doing when you climb a big wall. BWT's are frequently found at the base of walls or in parking lots, where they can be heard blaming their partner for their latest wall climbing failure while refusing to acknowledge their own culpability. Perhaps the answer, they say, is to try a harder wall next time - solo. While the internet is littered with BWT's, by definition, you will never find a BWT on the summit, for at that point they graduate to BWG

Carpe swinem! - The Call of the Pig

Chongo - Charles [Chuck] V. Tucker - Eccentric Yosemite guru and wall doctor whose unique combination of brilliance and indolence has resulted in some of the greatest big wall inno- vations ever. Author of The Complete Book of Big Wall Climbing, a six-hundred page tome edited by Dr. Piton himself, a book which is curiously difficult to obtain, and whose very existence has actually been denied by Detractors!

Clusterf*ck - what you get when your wank factor spirals out of control

Co-efficient of Wank - that unitless number, which when multiplied by the total amount of time spent on a particular task, equals the amount of time lost to unproductive activity [i.e. wanking about]

Color - Merrican for colour

Compound Pulley - a hauling device with pulley and integral toothed cam or holding ratchet

Correlation - does not imply causality

Corollary - a natural consequence [of], a proposition that follows from one already proved [ex. If you are bitchin', then you will have
detractors. Note that the converse is not necessarily true - just because you have detractors does not necessarily mean you are bitchin'. You might just be a jerk]

Crab - Brit. slang for carabiner - not to be confused with Big Wall Crab

Crab-O-Ledge - Dr. Piton's home

Credibility - being worthy of belief, not shooting yourself in the foot

[DDEL] - diabolical Dr. Evil laughter [Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!]

Degree of Freedom - an ability to perform an operation without affecting anything else

Descendeur - rappel device

Detractor - one who [attempts] speak ill of you, a necessary encumbrance if you are bitchin', often motivated by jealousy, pride and insecurity

Duct tape - handyman's secret weapon, it can save your life on a big wall. NO lead rack is complete without it

Entropy - the spontaneous tendency towards disorder, as in the Second Law of Thermodynamics

ETS - Emphatically The Sh*t

Empirical evidence - replicated enough times in a controlled environment to establish strong positive correlation

Fundamental - pay frickin' attention or you will end up dead!

"Getting it" - more of a destination than a journey - for the most part, either you "get it", or you don't
Hearsay - something you heard someone say about someone else but without actually hearing it from the first person's own mouth, inadmissable, rampant at - attempting to use it undermines your own credibility

[HINT] - indirect indication of a suggestion, small piece of practical information; sometimes delivered in "stage whisper", or with all the subtlety of a 2 x 4 across the chops: "I'm talking to you, dammit!"

Hoser - Canuck

Hottie - a woman of unusual attractiveness and desirability

Keffle out - to bail on your partner(s) without valid reason, emphatically the worst sin according to Dr. Piton

Legit - bona fide, genuine

Loquacious - excessively talkative or verbose, using twenty-six words when four or five will do

Love - see agape

Lurker - avid fan or reader of Dr. Piton who does not make frequent posts [if] on

KYKO - fundamental advice to young women who wish to attract and actually keep YB's

Mexicanized crab - a standard non-locking crab whose gate has been locked with duct tape

Mini-Big Wall Tutorial - a talk by Dr. Piton given at the drop of a hat usually in the parking lot, Camp 4, at the base or on the summit - a complete solution to your wall climbing problem usually scribbled on a scrap of paper or serviette [that's "napkin" to you Merricans, eh?], or performed with a few slings, carabiners and pieces of cord. Climbers in receipt of said tutorial frequently respond with phrases like, "that's so simple! I can't believe I never thought of that before!"

Morning - begins sometime after 10 a.m., coffee is integral and requisite

OB - Old Bull - very much a journey rather than a destination, possessing of great wisdom and experience, highly sought-after by hotties who tire
of YB's

Plain Vanilla - ordinary, mediocre, humdrum, 5 out of 10, the ultimate Dr. Piton insult

Politically-correct angry woman - b*tch

Pride - a sin, the opposite of humility, the belief that you are more bitchin' than you really are, a blinding towards self-examination and self- improvement, one of Dr. Piton's character flaws

Redundancy - the concept that something can be lost or omitted without loss of significance, and which must be incorporated into every big wall
climbing system [ex. on a big wall, this means bringing two things in case you happen to drop one]

Rob Large it - to second a climb, and to leave the cleaned gear clipped to the rope

Signature song [of] - AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long, played loudly on the wall at sunset, and with loud coyote howl in the pause after the opening guitar riff - audible for a half-mile
Shagadelic - see Babe-O-Licious

Square brackets - [ ] - see bold text

Stylin' - to climb a wall with all the luxuries of home, to be comfortable in an exceptionally hostile environment, to be accompanied by a shagadelic hottie

Synergy - the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects

The Sh*t - purest and most perfect form or manifestation or embodiment of a quality, etc., quintessence, the ultimate, none higher

Traditional - stupid

Vell-organicized - the opposite to a clusterf*ck, operating with minimized wank factor

VGT - very good thing

Voila! - Bob's Your Uncle

Wall Doctor - one who is both willing and able to solve big wall problems [Note: be sure to carefully scrutinize anyone purporting to be a Wall Doctor - they could be a BWT in disguise.] Wall Doctors are known to "play doctor" with hotties from time to time, and sometimes they even make house calls

Wanker - one prone to operating with a high wank factor

Wank factor - see co-efficient of wank

Water Commissioner - Dr. Piton [Note: you must never ever dump your water out if you bail from El Cap! Please bring your water bottles to Dr. Piton for storage, and redistribution at a later date]

WEG - way evil grin

Worth - your ability to arrive at the summit of a big wall having bootied more gear than you have dropped

YB - Young Bull - a transitional stage in the journey towards becoming an OB, but at least predictable in behaviour [Note]hotties: you will find OB's to be only slightly less frustrating and irritating than YB's]

[ This Message was edited by: passthepitonspete on 2003-02-08 11:46 ]

(This post was edited by cliffhanger9 on Mar 25, 2013, 11:03 AM)

Edit Log:
Post edited by cliffhanger9 (Moderator) on Mar 25, 2013, 11:03 AM

Search for (options)

Log In:

Password: Remember me:

Go Register
Go Lost Password?
$19.76 (10% off)
$26.96 (10% off)
$143.95 (10% off)
$21.56 (10% off)