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How bachelor is this....?
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zozo


Apr 25, 2005, 7:42 AM
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Please rate the following bachelorism's on a scale of 1 to 10 and add your own.

1. After not sweeping the floor for two month's finally doing it and instead of picking up the pile and putting it in the trash can, just leaving it on the floor in the corner and continually adding to it.

2. Rather than simply loading the dishwasher, get the dog, load up the Isuzu and go to Boston Market.

3. Having a dried load of laundry in the dryer for three weeks.

4. Realizing all the gear I took to the Ouray Ice festival is still sitting right where I dropped it three months ago.


kriso9tails


Apr 25, 2005, 7:46 AM
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I'd give it an 8. You'd have to disturb me slightly to earn higher.


Partner macherry


Apr 25, 2005, 7:52 AM
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i'd have to see your bathroom


bumblie


Apr 25, 2005, 7:52 AM
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You need seriously bad stuff to rate high. Is mold peeling off your tub? How about that spilled lasagna you left on the carpet two months ago? Any significant cultures growing in your fridge?


zozo


Apr 25, 2005, 7:53 AM
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i'd have to see your bathroom

Uhhhh are you sure about that? Number 5 is....

5. Instead of cleaning the bathroom, starting to use the one downstairs instead.


subtle


Apr 25, 2005, 9:38 AM
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...aaaah, I once didn't do the dishes for so long that something ate a hole all the way through a knife. We weren't sure what did it, and really didn't care to find out...so we threw everything out. When attempting to un-stick the inevitable drain clog, we put so many different kinds of Plumr and Drain-o down the bugger that we melted the pipe leading to the basement. The plumbing became angered, and prompty stopped working in the bathroom, so we had to bail out the shower intermittantly.

So...you've got some work to do to impress me.

Allez. Want to sub-let my place? Homard.


chanceboarder


Apr 25, 2005, 9:50 AM
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In reply to:
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i'd have to see your bathroom

Uhhhh are you sure about that? Number 5 is....

5. Instead of cleaning the bathroom, starting to use the one downstairs instead.
i'd hate to see what happens when all the bathrooms are dirty. i guess you and the dog could share the lawn. :wink:


onbelay_osu


Apr 25, 2005, 10:20 AM
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any one ever use the ghetto dishwasher....thowing in all your dishes in the shower, pouring soap all over them, turning the shower on hot and letting them sit for 10 mins or so, until all soap is gone scrub what was to stuck to come off and let sit in shower over night to dry(i mean come on if you are a true bachelor you don't need to use your shower to get clean that is what axe body spray is for, that or febreez!)


jono


Apr 25, 2005, 10:39 AM
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i dont have a dishwasher...all the dishes are piled up and you clean them one at a time for whatever you use. the bottom of my tub was turning black, there is mold on the walls.
i think i will try the shower method of cleaning dishes..good idea.


Partner bear829


Apr 25, 2005, 10:39 AM
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any one ever use the ghetto dishwasher....thowing in all your dishes in the shower, pouring soap all over them, turning the shower on hot and letting them sit for 10 mins or so, until all soap is gone scrub what was to stuck to come off and let sit in shower over night to dry(i mean come on if you are a true bachelor you don't need to use your shower to get clean that is what axe body spray is for, that or febreez!)

When I first moved in with my now roommate, she hadn't done dishes for two months. The last she had, she told me that she had done exactly what you had onbelay. :lol: The first night I was here, I went through the fridge, I found things in there that had expired over TWO years ago. OMG...it was gross. Our place isn't the cleanest thing ever, but its definately more habitable than it was before. :lol:


web_slave


Apr 25, 2005, 11:25 AM
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My buddies moved in to a 5 bedroom place that had two kitchens (1 downstairs and 1 upstairs left over from an old reno). They proceded to use one kitchen exculsivly until it was too horible to even stand in, then sealed it off with a sheet of ply-wood and moved on to the upstairs kitchen.

I believe the landlord did a controlled burn of the place after they moved out.....


vivalargo


Apr 25, 2005, 11:44 AM
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These are descriptions of broke bachelors, ar at any rate, those that are not filthy rich. Working in show business, I see the top end bachelors, filthy rich buffoons whose habits are so profligate, so ridiculous, so utterly daft that their poorer bretheren look like saints in comparisson.

Take the director--holed up in a fancy smanzy Hollywood hotel--who is too lazy to do ANY laundry, or even stash his soiled garments into a bag so room service can clean them. When he strips for bed he simply sends his cloths down the trash shoot.

Or the producer who's car ran out of gas so he just left it on the side of the road and never went back for it (a Mercedes).

Wish I had time to really get into this--it's a fascinating and disturbing topic.

JL


web_slave


Apr 25, 2005, 11:58 AM
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Take the director--holed up in a fancy smanzy Hollywood hotel--who is too lazy to do ANY laundry, or even stash his soiled garments into a bag so room service can clean them. When he strips for bed he simply sneds his cloths down the trash shoot.

Or the producer who's car ran out of gas so he just left it on the side of the road and never went back for it (a Mercedes).

Wish I had tome to really get into this--it's a fascinating and disturbing topic.

JL

Those are classic...(where did the car end up?)

By the way congrats on your "intentional omission" from the new Rock and Ice.

p.s. When I climb with a smoke, people just call me an asshole....


robbovius


Apr 25, 2005, 12:47 PM
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Please rate the following bachelorism's on a scale of 1 to 10 and add your own.

1. After not sweeping the floor for two month's finally doing it and instead of picking up the pile and putting it in the trash can, just leaving it on the floor in the corner and continually adding to it.

2. Rather than simply loading the dishwasher, get the dog, load up the Isuzu and go to Boston Market.

3. Having a dried load of laundry in the dryer for three weeks.

4. Realizing all the gear I took to the Ouray Ice festival is still sitting right where I dropped it three months ago.


phht. amateur.

1. I my appt has wall to wall in every room but the kithchen. I didn't vaccum for the first year I lived there. I moved there in december '03. so far, I've vaccuumed once.

2. I've never washed the kitchen floor.

3. when the dishes in the sink start to smell, I squirt some more dishwashing detergent onthem adn run the hot water a bit. good for another 2-3 weeks.

4. I have some BBQ sauce left from last summer. it still smells okay.

5. eggs will last two months in the fridge uncooked. at least. that's as long as I've ever had any, and still eaten them anyway.

6. I live out of my dryer, and laundry basket.


zozo


Apr 25, 2005, 12:59 PM
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phht. amateur.

Im not worthy. Im not worthy.


mother_sheep


Apr 25, 2005, 1:17 PM
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Or the producer who's car ran out of gas so he just left it on the side of the road and never went back for it (a Mercedes).
JL

Please provide EXACT location of this travesty! I'm in the market for some new cheap wheels.


vivalargo


Apr 25, 2005, 1:51 PM
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Web_slave wrote: "By the way congrats on your "intentional omission" from the new Rock and Ice."

Huh? Been out of town and haven't seen the new R&I so I don't follow you.

JL


shakylegs


Apr 25, 2005, 1:57 PM
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Pfft, last year around this time I ate yogurt that I had left in the fridge for I don't know how long. Result? Anaphylactic shock. Barely made it to the hospital in time.
I've gotten better after that scare.


the_pirate


Apr 25, 2005, 2:44 PM
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3. when the dishes in the sink start to smell, I squirt some more dishwashing detergent onthem adn run the hot water a bit. good for another 2-3 weeks.

My worst was filling the sink with soapy water, intending to wash the full load of dishes. Somehow or another I got distracted and never went back to actually wash them. After festering for a couple days in summer heat, there was no way I was reaching down through that shit to pull the plug, so I let it sit till the water slowly leeched past the drain plug. Took the better part of a month. There were a couple of specimens that warranted examination under the microscope.


jono


Apr 25, 2005, 4:12 PM
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ive got some milk that has seperated in the frig. the last one that went bad we just put outside the door....it expanded...exploded...and we dont use that exit anymore.
i was going to tell another dish washing war story but the_pirate has me beat.....man thats terrible.


Partner wideguy


Apr 25, 2005, 5:15 PM
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OK, my counter right now.
http://img.photobucket.com/...wideguy/Pict0125.jpg

Name the 3 most obvious signs that I am NOT a bachelor. 8^)


grover


Apr 25, 2005, 5:20 PM
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3 coffee cups, diet AND regular coke, and the knives are in their holders and not in the wall.


wanderinfree


Apr 25, 2005, 5:24 PM
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Here's one via proxy. Whenever I want to take a hot bath, I have to borrow my climbing partner's bathtub--who is a bachelor--since I only have a shower. THIS is how he gets his tub cleaned. Hasn't had to clean it once in the year he's lived there.


Partner wideguy


Apr 25, 2005, 5:25 PM
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3 coffee cups, diet AND regular coke, and the knives are in their holders and not in the wall.

ooh hadn't thought about the knives, good one. But there are more obvious. Oh, and coffee addiction knows no bounds. Those three are all in fact mine from today. A full 12 cup pot fills all three. 1.5 are drunk on the commute, the rest consumed before lunch. My wife doesn't drink coffee, no point there


grover


Apr 25, 2005, 5:39 PM
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wideguy,

Is it the orange cleaning product jug?


the_pirate


Apr 25, 2005, 5:52 PM
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Name the 3 most obvious signs that I am NOT a bachelor. 8^)

All of those containers are upright and empty. Probably rinsed too.

There's no telltale "bachaelor bugs" circling the pile.



Partner wideguy


Apr 25, 2005, 6:24 PM
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that's one. the industrial jug of laundry detergent.

Second was the two white plastic cups with cartoon characters on them

Third was the overall neatness and organization of the pile.

Honorable mention for the beer not being budweiser and all being the same kind, in bottles And the can of juicy juice concentrate.


flying_dutchman


Apr 25, 2005, 6:46 PM
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i've cleaned my place once in two months and i do the dishes as soon as stuff starts rusting in the sink. No point in buying new pots/pans due to shear laziness i figure. Guess i am cleaner then the average dude then.


Partner philbox
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Apr 25, 2005, 7:07 PM
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Picture this.

An old wood fired stove in the kitchen of an old batchelor in outback Queensland. Instead of chopping wood he simply feeds a ten foot piece of log into the fire box of the stove. He keeps the other end propped up by one of the kitchen chairs. That`s batchelor.

My grandfather was invited down to his mate Gunners boat moored on the Brisbane River for tea one night. Gunner simply wiped off last nights plat with a dirty old bit of newspapaer and he reckons it`s good to go. That`s also batchelor.

I was invited over to an old batchelors place to have lunch with him and his spinster sisters. During the cooked meal they would regularly simply toss chicken bones out the window on to a compost heap, it was huge a veritable mullock heap of waste. That`s batchelor and spinster.

The piece of resistance though is my dads suggestion for those times when mum was in hospital giving birth to one of my numerous siblings.
1. Take a left over womens magazine.
2. Open magazine to pages two and three.
3. Read page two whilst cooking dinner and then serve dinner on page two.
4. Whilst reading page three eat dinner.
5. For next meal turn page and repeat until magazine is finished.

Note that I didn`t suggest soiling a climbing magazine with these instructions.


coloredchalker


Apr 25, 2005, 7:46 PM
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All good so far, and I thought I was pretty bad.

but heres a trick I devised if you have the bad habit of leaving left overs in the fridge untill they are indecernable.
Remove mystery meat from fridge and place in freezer over night or until you rember that its there (it might scare you more after its been frozen for a few months). Upon next discovery take frozen food container, remove lid and hold upside down over trash can. Lightly tap on the turned up bottom and solid flubber should drop straight into trash receptacle. To shorten this process take container of mystery sludge from fridge and deposit in trash can. Proceed to store and buy tub of whipped topping to replace lost strage container.

That reminds me... don't I have some left overs in the fridge,,, shudder.


gremlin


Apr 25, 2005, 8:31 PM
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I'm not entirely sure if this counts, but all I've been eating for 2 days is lasagna for all 3 meals, and I will hopefully finish it up tomorrow. 5 layer, 4 noodles across per layer...yea, I made a huge thing of lasagna. On the plus side, it was the first time I've made it, and it turned out really really good.


jono


Apr 25, 2005, 9:52 PM
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thats what its all about, making a massive meal you feed off of for days. i made burritos today that will last me three days.


republiclimber


Apr 25, 2005, 9:59 PM
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i just buy a 3 pound box of spaghetti and and eat it with some seasoned salt. costs nothing, lasts a week.


timstich


Apr 25, 2005, 10:08 PM
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When I was a bachelor, and even when the wife is out of town for a few weeks, I have this inordinate fear of going to the grocery store alone. So I will make food with whatever is in the fridge and pantry until there are no possible meals to concoct. This means quite a few bread with cheese and mustard and dried prunes for dessert meals.


gremlin


Apr 25, 2005, 10:52 PM
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Oh, oh, I've got another one. As of my count 20 minutes ago, there were 27 empty toilet paper rolls on the bathroom floor. I couldn't really stand wasting all that effort though, so I counted as I put them in the garbage.

And cheese and mustard is a fine meal sir, a file meal. Add a can of Tuna(in oil for a bit more texture), and you're got a feast. Tuna, honey mustard, and provolone cheese has gotten me through many a week. Prunes...not so much.

While climbing in West Virginia recently, we stopped at the small(and only) grocery store in the area. They were having a "super special" of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal Bars for only $1 a box, due to their expiration date being November of last year. Yea, we bought out the entire stock. That's some good eatin' right there, and my usual pre-ohshitIneedtogoshopping food.


zozo


Apr 26, 2005, 5:33 AM
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ive got some milk that has seperated in the frig. the last one that went bad we just put outside the door....it expanded...exploded...and we dont use that exit anymore.

Awesome!! Was it full? Ive got one that is getting kind of chunky. It's half full. How long in the colorado sun till it pops?! Any warning signs something is iminent? Id love to get it on tape.


bumblie


Apr 26, 2005, 5:52 AM
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I have this inordinate fear of going to the grocery store alone.

LOL I can't tell you how freeing it is to know my problem is a disorder that I'm purely a victim of - groceraphobia.

Stupid me. I'd always attributed it to ordinary laziness.


Partner wideguy


Apr 26, 2005, 6:20 AM
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My wife and I and our roomate once ate for a whole week off a giant pot of instant mashed potatoes mixed with frozen corn and peas. On day 4 we went to the grocery store at 3:00 AM and tried to buy a loaf of bread with pennies to treat ourselves. The store wouldn't take the rolled pennies so we didn't get the bread.


kimmyt


Apr 26, 2005, 6:41 AM
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When I was a bachelor, and even when the wife is out of town for a few weeks, I have this inordinate fear of going to the grocery store alone. So I will make food with whatever is in the fridge and pantry until there are no possible meals to concoct. This means quite a few bread with cheese and mustard and dried prunes for dessert meals.

:) I haven't been to the grocery store in at least three months. I'm living off of french fries, ramen, and WaWa takeout salads. I'm moving in a week, see, so I told myself I wouldn't go shopping until I moved into the new place.

K.


zozo


Apr 26, 2005, 7:17 AM
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When I was a bachelor, and even when the wife is out of town for a few weeks, I have this inordinate fear of going to the grocery store alone. So I will make food with whatever is in the fridge and pantry until there are no possible meals to concoct. This means quite a few bread with cheese and mustard and dried prunes for dessert meals.

The trick is to treat it like a military operation. Have a plan, know the layout, get in, get out. Live to tell the tale.


Partner taualum23


Apr 26, 2005, 8:04 AM
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The extra large pizza three days of dinners on paper plates trick was one of my favorites.


wjca


Apr 26, 2005, 9:11 AM
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Wideguy,

I'd say the most obvious sign your not a bachelor is the neatly folded dish towel hanging on the drawer handle. With that in the picture, it proves you're married or gay.


When I was in college I had inadvertently left a half full, gallon jug of apple juice behind my desk. Several months later, I found the jug with a golf ball sized thing growing in it. What would you have done with that? I opened the jug, poured in several packets of sugar to feed it more, closed the top, put it back behind the desk and named it Earl. Two months later, with a tear of pride in my eye, I discovered that my little Earl had grown to the size of a grapefruit. I moved shortly thereafter, so Earl and I had to part ways. But sometimes, when the moon is full and wind blows from the north, and I come across rotten apples, I think back to my little buddy and wonder what he could have become had I shown him more attention, like putting him in a five gallon bucket with a constant sugar diet in the back of my roomate's closet.


Partner taualum23


Apr 26, 2005, 9:13 AM
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What would you have done with that? I opened the jug, poured in several packets of sugar to feed it more, closed the top, put it back behind the desk and named it Earl.

Don't know exactly why, but this made me laugh really hard.


jumpingrock


Apr 26, 2005, 9:17 AM
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What would you have done with that? I opened the jug, poured in several packets of sugar to feed it more, closed the top, put it back behind the desk and named it Earl.

Don't know exactly why, but this made me laugh really hard.

Made me laugh to... and sorta get a sick feeling to my stomach.


bumblie


Apr 26, 2005, 9:48 AM
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Earl will live forever in our hearts and minds.

I kept a 1/4 full jar of applesauce in my fridge for about three years. It survived two moves. At the end, the top portion was mostly black, with a nice white fuzzy trim. It was finally done in by my girlfriend. She was a doctor and just didn't see the humor in keeping it around.


Partner philbox
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Apr 26, 2005, 10:30 PM
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Neil Monteith (orangeoverhang of the picture taking fame) has a brilliant method of cleaning saucepans whilst on a roadtrip.

Cook meal.
Eat meal from pot.
Leave pot out during night for furry animals to eat the crusty bits of spooge from (note on our Tasmanian trip we called one large possum Beastor the Gargantuan Possum, he used to keep me awake at night with his constant chewing on the spoogey bits of Neils pot).
Leave pot out during day for ants to scrub the last skerricks of food until mostly clean.
Cook more food in pot and repeat as necessary for entire trip.


Partner climbinginchico


Apr 27, 2005, 12:21 AM
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When I was a bachelor, and even when the wife is out of town for a few weeks, I have this inordinate fear of going to the grocery store alone. So I will make food with whatever is in the fridge and pantry until there are no possible meals to concoct. This means quite a few bread with cheese and mustard and dried prunes for dessert meals.

The trick is to treat it like a military operation. Have a plan, know the layout, get in, get out. Live to tell the tale.

Now that is how a man shops! I shop like this, my gf always tells me I am walking too fast and not browsing. She hates shopping almost as much as I do. And, never ever ever go to the store when hungry.


walrus


Apr 28, 2005, 12:19 AM
Post #48 of 59 (2351 views)
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Registered: Oct 28, 2004
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I accidently grew mold in my coffee pot and then photographed it.
I had 16 shelves of tools in my bedroom.
The summer tires for my car are sitting in my kitchen.
I cannot use the kitchen table for the stuff on it.
I had an air mattress in my bedroom which I would lean against the wall in order to paint doors on saw horses.
There is a stepladder in my bedroom.
I throw the hairballs that clog up the shower drain onto the shower wall.
I use wal mart bags as garbage bags.
I don't vaccum until I see the dog's hairballs on the carpet.


m.a.h
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Apr 29, 2005, 8:41 AM
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When I was single:

    Paper plates and plastic utensils
    Lived on takeout and frozen food for years
    Owned three weeks of socks and underwear (when combined with three weekends of pants and shirts, three weeks of towels, and bed linen would than be dropped at the laundry)
    Suits and shirts to the dry cleaner
    Windex can be used to clean kitchen floors and counters and the bathroom. Than I got a cleaning woman $60.00 per week two visits each week)

Remember if it fly’s, floats, rolls, or f**ks it is cheaper to lease. Out source as much as you can.

Than I got married.


vertical_reality


Apr 29, 2005, 9:04 AM
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Going to the grocery store was sooooo last century.

http://www.peapod.com


Partner taualum23


Apr 29, 2005, 9:31 AM
Post #51 of 59 (1336 views)
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Registered: Dec 13, 2002
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Neil Monteith (orangeoverhang of the picture taking fame) has a brilliant method of cleaning saucepans whilst on a roadtrip.

Cook meal.
Eat meal from pot.
Leave pot out during night for furry animals to eat the crusty bits of spooge from (note on our Tasmanian trip we called one large possum Beastor the Gargantuan Possum, he used to keep me awake at night with his constant chewing on the spoogey bits of Neils pot).
Leave pot out during day for ants to scrub the last skerricks of food until mostly clean.
Cook more food in pot and repeat as necessary for entire trip.

And sometimes, hardcore can be gross, too.


reno


Apr 29, 2005, 9:58 AM
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When I was a poor bachelor (FYI, I'm still poor and a bachelor, but now I've got a job and a girl, so that don't count) I would steal the rolls of TP from anywhere I could... truck stops, fast food resturaunts, etc.

Wiped my backside with many a rough square of tissue... got the callouses to prove it (not that you'd really want to see my lily white butt with the attendant callouses, but you get my point.)

These days, I buy only the super-thick quilted Charmin. Makes me feel right.


winter


Apr 29, 2005, 10:10 AM
Post #53 of 59 (1336 views)
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Zozo's first post sounds just like my place.
I don't buy groceries, when you're single it's cheaper to eat out. I eat breakfast and lunch at work, no dinner. Sometimes when I'm really hungry I'll do the bit of peanut butter on a cracker or just off a spoon if there are no crackers. Luckily I now have a roomate, she buys milk so I have cereal for dinner now.
My bag from the weekend is still sitting in the front entrance, with a pile of clothes around it that I tore out looking for something at the bottom.
My snowshoes that I haven't worn since before christmas are still in the front entrance.
I do laundry every 3 weeks or so. Sometimes I just buy more socks rather than washing them. I was my sheets before my boyfriend comes to town but otherwise....not so much.
I was the kichen floor like twice a year.
As soon as I get more money I'm hiring a maid.


Partner macherry


Apr 29, 2005, 10:13 AM
Post #54 of 59 (1336 views)
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Registered: Sep 10, 2003
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When I was a poor bachelor (FYI, I'm still poor and a bachelor, but now I've got a job and a girl, so that don't count) I would steal the rolls of TP from anywhere I could... truck stops, fast food resturaunts, etc.

Wiped my backside with many a rough square of tissue... got the callouses to prove it (not that you'd really want to see my lily white butt with the attendant callouses, but you get my point.)

These days, I buy only the super-thick quilted Charmin. Makes me feel right.

ha, that reminds me when i lived in banff and used to steal the toilet paper from the restaurant i worked at. Those were dirtbag days. And guys, i lived in a dump with five other women and the bathroom was just as bad as any guy's bathroom. We also kept our bikes (5) in the livingroom. There was also 3 inches of sand on the livingroom floor from the winter beach party we held. good times


the_pirate


Apr 29, 2005, 10:20 AM
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My shower floor is black with two white footprints where I stand.


robbovius


Apr 29, 2005, 10:43 AM
Post #56 of 59 (1336 views)
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last night I pulled out a bottle of indeterminate-age salsa because my son wanted some nachos. when I opened it, it stank. it went right into the sink for the detergent-and-hot-water treatment. still stank. it's there now.


onbelay_osu


Apr 29, 2005, 10:52 AM
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Registered: May 5, 2002
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last night i went to my friends pad to hang out...two bachelor's we had a keg and much to my surprise cockroaches really enjoy shinner bock...i saw something like 20 of dem sons of bitches trying to crawl into the keg...ohhh well they are moving to alaska and i don't think they have roaches there...


livingtheedge


Apr 29, 2005, 11:09 AM
Post #58 of 59 (1336 views)
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Registered: Nov 10, 2004
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I've never washed the kitchen floor.

Ive only washed my floor once and that was by accident. We ran out of dishwasher soap and didnt feel like buying new so we put regular sink dish soap in instead. The Dishwasher over flowed and filled the floor with bubbles. Im pretty sure that if the bubbles we not there and it was just water we would have let it dry on its own. Anyway we mopped it up and accidently got the shit on the floor with it.


zozo


May 4, 2005, 7:18 AM
Post #59 of 59 (1336 views)
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Registered: Feb 3, 2004
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UPDATE:

I gave up and hired a maid service......totally worth it.


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