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The n00bs must be culled
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the_leech


Mar 28, 2007, 9:26 PM
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The n00bs must be culled
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Maybe we shouldn’t kill them directly, but we’ve got to do something about the influx of n00bs that increases exponentially every day.

I know we’ve all done this at least once... There’s a nice guy at work who says that he wants to come climbing some time. So you take him outside, show him the ropes, and have a good time. But what have you really done? You’ve created another n00b, that’s what.

Maybe you’ve seriously responded to an rc.com thread with a question like, “How do I make a toprope anchor?” You offered friendly, helpful advice and went on feeling good about yourself. Meanwhile, all you’ve done is support a n00b and encouraged him to climb more.

Have you noticed how the crags get more crowded each year? Are you tired of the throngs dominating popular routes with topropes all day?

Have you noticed how much more frequently you top out, only to see a n00b on a route near you scrambling to hook up a funky, sketchy anchor that would have been a straightforward setup for anyone with even a modicum of experience?

Do you live in fear of having to partake in yet another rescue because some clueless leader and his incompetent belayer come tumbling down and ruin your day?

There’s a solution, people. Listen up.

1. Stop taking new people climbing. Maybe you do it to be nice, find new partners, or perhaps you just feel better about yourself if you climb with less-experienced people. I don’t care what the reason is. Knock it off! There are enough climbers here now, and plenty of partners to go around. Pull from the existing pool.

2. Ask rc.com to ban the Beginner’s Forum altogether. If that is not acceptable, the administrators should at least establish an auto-delete function for all thread titles that start with “How do I…” and “What shoes…” and other frequently used n00b titles.

3. Stop encouraging n00bs online. These online forums seem to be the primary way that gym n00bs develop the “experience” to venture outdoors. I know it’s our nature to be helpful, but this has to stop. Respond to all n00b questions with “STFU n00b!” That’s it. Say no more.

4. Carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go. If you see some n00b giving a bad belay or struggling up a route with poor technique, refrain from giving helpful advice. Let them struggle or drop their n00b partner. Cull the n00bs. That’s what this is all about. Just be sure to move away from them so you don’t have to waste your day involved in a n00b rescue or recovery.

5. Boycott climbing gyms. This is a big sacrifice, I know. Especially if you live in an area without year-round outdoor climbing. But you know as well as I do that climbing gyms are the biggest producers of n00bs nowadays.

6. If you must use a climbing gym, refer to #4. In fact, feel free to be a dick to the n00bs you meet there. Make them feel unwelcome, perhaps even threatened. This attitude (called “localism” among surfers) is effective at keeping gumbies off the good surf breaks. We need to carry this attitude into climbing as well.

Some may wonder how you identify a n00b. If you have to ask this question, you likely are one of them. So STFU and find a new way to spend your free time!

These are just a few suggestions off the top of my head. I’d love to hear other suggestions and ideas. The important thing is that we work together to address this problem. We must cull the n00bs. The quality of our climbing future is at stake.


salamanizer


Mar 28, 2007, 10:06 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Maybe someone should have killed you, or at least discouraged you several years back.

N00bs don't bother me, they help fuel the market for better gear and their never on the routes I want to do.


rockguide


Mar 28, 2007, 10:16 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Let the door hit your ass on the way out.


(This post was edited by rockguide on Mar 28, 2007, 10:23 PM)


squamishdirtbag


Mar 28, 2007, 10:21 PM
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What a hilarious threadLaugh
Ok 'STFU Noob' gotcha won't forget.


ccard257


Mar 28, 2007, 10:22 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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STFU n00b
Tongue


elnero


Mar 28, 2007, 10:27 PM
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it's not clever enough for it to be intentionally funny.. so.. he must be serious?


climbsomething


Mar 28, 2007, 10:32 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the_leech is multi-talented!

You go on with your bad Carhartts-wearing self!

xoxo


jt512


Mar 28, 2007, 10:35 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the_leech wrote:
Carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go.

That has a nice ring to it. It should be worked into a signature, t-shirt, bumper sticker, or something.

Jay


climbsomething


Mar 28, 2007, 10:39 PM
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...and don't forget to DURRRRR, and maybe even UH-HURRRRRR now and then.

Sly

your so elitist omg maybe if you stop coming to the jim it will be less crowded for me and anyways the best climber is the 1 whose having the most fun!


bent_gate


Mar 28, 2007, 10:43 PM
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Well, this is a classic example of what happens when our climbing community doesn’t take the time to implement a comprehensive 'n00b Management Plan'.

A first step is to address the food source that attracts them to begin with. n00bs naturally feed on the sympathies of those with an overabundance of climbing fulfillment. Like a baby bird stimulating the mother to regurgitate a tasty meal, a co-worker will ask the climber to tell a story of their exciting weekend exploits. The budding n00b will then admiringly accept the morsel and use it as an opportunity to point out how they have always wanted to try that. Slowly being drawn into a motherly role, the climber feels a necessity to continue to nurture the budding n00b with offers to take them to a safe learning and growing environment like a climbing gym. And of course we know where it goes from there...

So the climber needs to be educated on the true nature of the n00b. Like a Cuckoo egg that has been laid in another birds nest, the climber may be unaware that the n00b has taken up home and is ready to suck up all the resources it can get.

Protecting the Nest-

Recommendation 1:
The climber should be aware of its environment at all times, and be on the watch for those foreign species trying to plant themselves within its domain.

Recommendation 2:
If stimulated to regurgitate, choke back all epics by keeping the mouth tightly closed.

Recommendation 3:
Whenever possible steer budding n00bs towards another nest, such as Paintball or Ultimate Frisbee.

These are beginning strokes of a comprehensive 'n00b Management Plan'

The next section needed –Incubator Reform (the gym)…


ihategrigris


Mar 28, 2007, 10:50 PM
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Re: [jt512] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
the_leech wrote:
Carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go.

That has a nice ring to it. It should be worked into a signature, t-shirt, bumper sticker, or something.

Jay

Haha, Done and Done


caughtinside


Mar 28, 2007, 10:59 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the leech, I was 100% on board with you until I saw this:

the_leech wrote:

1. Stop taking new people climbing. Maybe you do it to be nice, find new partners, or perhaps you just feel better about yourself if you climb with less-experienced people. I don’t care what the reason is. Knock it off! There are enough climbers here now, and plenty of partners to go around. Pull from the existing pool.

now, in theory, I agree with you. however, I really need to introduce more hot chicks to climbing. No, you don't understand, I NEED this man, so DON"T BLOW IT FOR ME. Please. I'm begging you. I won't take anyone else, I promise. Just let me take this sexy bimbo climbing. Just once. Please. I NEED THIS MAN.


bbentley77


Mar 28, 2007, 11:16 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the_leech wrote:
Are you tired of the throngs dominating popular routes with topropes all day?

Maybe if you could climb harder than 5.10 after all those years you've been climbing, you wouldn't be on the same routes as said noobs in the first place. If you actually challenged yourself to progress with all of your experience, you shouldn't have to worry about these noob creatures shitting on your routes, because they wouldn't be attempting them. So grow a pair of balls and get off the 5.10 or less noob routes BIATCH!

Everything else was funny as hell though Laugh. Oh and STFU NOOB!


(This post was edited by bbentley77 on Mar 28, 2007, 11:29 PM)


majid_sabet


Mar 28, 2007, 11:53 PM
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Re: [bbentley77] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Is this proper for TR?

I am trying to rig it this weekend and do some outdoor TR but not sure if I got all of them in the right format, help me please

Thanks

[URL=http://imageshack.us]


(This post was edited by majid_sabet on Mar 28, 2007, 11:55 PM)


thomasribiere


Mar 29, 2007, 3:40 AM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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trophy


dlintz


Mar 29, 2007, 4:17 AM
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Re: [majid_sabet] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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majid_sabet wrote:
Is this proper for TR?

I am trying to rig it this weekend and do some outdoor TR but not sure if I got all of them in the right format, help me please

Thanks

[URL=http://imageshack.us]

Just double up all your biners and you'll be set, you should probably double up those pulleys also. Wink

d.


wanderlustmd


Mar 29, 2007, 4:18 AM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the_leech wrote:
3. Stop encouraging n00bs online. These online forums seem to be the primary way that gym n00bs develop the “experience” to venture outdoors. I know it’s our nature to be helpful, but this has to stop. Respond to all n00b questions with “STFU n00b!” That’s it. Say no more.

4. Carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go. If you see some n00b giving a bad belay or struggling up a route with poor technique, refrain from giving helpful advice. Let them struggle or drop their n00b partner. Cull the n00bs. That’s what this is all about. Just be sure to move away from them so you don’t have to waste your day involved in a n00b rescue or recovery.

5. Boycott climbing gyms. This is a big sacrifice, I know. Especially if you live in an area without year-round outdoor climbing. But you know as well as I do that climbing gyms are the biggest producers of n00bs nowadays.

6. If you must use a climbing gym, refer to #4. In fact, feel free to be a dick to the n00bs you meet there. Make them feel unwelcome, perhaps even threatened. This attitude (called “localism” among surfers) is effective at keeping gumbies off the good surf breaks. We need to carry this attitude into climbing as well.

Some may wonder how you identify a n00b. If you have to ask this question, you likely are one of them. So STFU and find a new way to spend your free time!

These are just a few suggestions off the top of my head. I’d love to hear other suggestions and ideas. The important thing is that we work together to address this problem. We must cull the n00bs. The quality of our climbing future is at stake.

Angelic

I hope you're trolling, but if you're not....STFU noob. Were you beaten as a child?


Partner srwings


Mar 29, 2007, 5:09 AM
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elnero wrote:
it's not clever enough for it to be intentionally funny.. so.. he must be serious?

I think it's very tongue in cheek.


banjo_jon


Mar 29, 2007, 5:59 AM
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better make sure that tire is an all terrain or you're screwed.


Partner j_ung


Mar 29, 2007, 5:59 AM
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Dood, masterful. I don't care how many serious responses it gets, this is now my favorite troll of all time.


girl_lostInVA


Mar 29, 2007, 6:19 AM
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caughtinside wrote:
now, in theory, I agree with you. however, I really need to introduce more hot chicks to climbing.

you should definitely have a special exemption for attractive girls and hot chick noobs...always take them climbing Laugh


Power_Tie


Mar 29, 2007, 8:37 AM
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wow, what a very poor and dangerous attitude you have. I hope you get help for that.


girl_lostInVA


Mar 29, 2007, 8:41 AM
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Power_Tie wrote:
wow, what a very poor and dangerous attitude you have. I hope you get help for that.

Crazy geesh...learn to take a joke


Power_Tie


Mar 29, 2007, 8:45 AM
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girl_lostInVA wrote:
Power_Tie wrote:
wow, what a very poor and dangerous attitude you have. I hope you get help for that.

Crazy geesh...learn to take a joke

I am sorry, I did not mean you! I was referring to this leech character. I would agree that the more cute n00bettes we can get in climbing, the better.


bigfatrock


Mar 29, 2007, 8:48 AM
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1. So your telling me you were never a n00b? You just woke up one morning with the ability to climb 5.14 and had all knowledge of climbing innate withing you?

2. If everybody took your suggestion the race of climbers would die off in about 30-50 years. Just guessing on the numbers there, but you get the idea.

3. If you love climbing as much as you seem to why not get out and climb rather than trolling.


dingus


Mar 29, 2007, 8:50 AM
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bent_gate wrote:
Like a baby bird stimulating the mother to regurgitate a tasty meal, a co-worker will ask the climber to tell a story of their exciting weekend exploits.

All of this is easily circumvented. Never, EVER tell a coworker you are a climber. This is a fundamental rule in Slacker's School.

Do NOT advertise you're a climber. Lose the biner keychain, they're total gumb anyway. Get rid of the decals on your car, that's so fucking 90s. Climbing posters in your cube? LOSER!!!111 (and if you have one of those corporate 'inspirational' climbing posters I'm gonna rip that abomination off the wall and burn it on your desk).

No climbing screen savers. No climbing photos.

NO!!!111

THAT's how you eliminate the food source. By eliminating it.

Cheers!
DMT

ps. Good for those slacking days when its too nice to go to work. None of the old 'you know she's off CLIMBING!'
DMT


dingus


Mar 29, 2007, 8:51 AM
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srwings wrote:
elnero wrote:
it's not clever enough for it to be intentionally funny.. so.. he must be serious?

I think it's very tongue in cheek.

(biting tongue, blood dripping down chin...)

Cheers!
DMT


devils_advocate


Mar 29, 2007, 9:56 AM
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Good work Leech, laid it all out for us in black and white. I’m proud to say, I have yet to actually be of any help what so ever on this site, so I know I’m doing my part.

Furthermore, I have already begun developing some anti-n00b devices.

My first is sort of like a screamer, it’s a tube with a ten-foot extension that is controlled via radio frequency. I figure the point here is not to kill the n00bs, they can do that on their own, but just to put some fright in them. Deployment of the extension during random times while they’re top roping should scare the majority of them back to their baseball fields and wave pools. Now all we need to do is come up with some fancy name for it and convince all n00bs that they always need to put one in between their power point and locker. Of course, doing that without explaining what a power point is (see #4: carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go) could be troublesome. Ok, so I have some kinks to iron out.

As for the gyms, well, that one is simple: beans. And the high levels of protein that you get is just icing on the cake.


coastal_climber


Mar 29, 2007, 10:01 AM
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The climbing scene is dying in my community so I welcome new climbers and look forward to helping them progress.

>Cam


Gmburns2000


Mar 29, 2007, 10:30 AM
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What's a n00b and how does one tell a n00b from other climbers? Angelic


scrapedape


Mar 29, 2007, 10:32 AM
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Power_Tie wrote:
girl_lostInVA wrote:
Power_Tie wrote:
wow, what a very poor and dangerous attitude you have. I hope you get help for that.

Crazy geesh...learn to take a joke

I am sorry, I did not mean you!...

The suggestion stands.


bent_gate


Mar 29, 2007, 10:34 AM
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girl_lostInVA wrote:
Power_Tie wrote:
wow, what a very poor and dangerous attitude you have. I hope you get help for that.

Crazy geesh...learn to take a joke

D'oh! You've just given away this sites ultimate clandestine sorting tool:

-If someone can't tell it's a joke, they just might be a n00b!

Never disclose trade secrets without prior approval from a moderator. Ask 'em about it and you will see...Angelic


dingus


Mar 29, 2007, 10:39 AM
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bent_gate wrote:
girl_lostInVA wrote:
Power_Tie wrote:
wow, what a very poor and dangerous attitude you have. I hope you get help for that.

Crazy geesh...learn to take a joke

D'oh! You've just given away this sites ultimate clandestine sorting tool:

-If someone can't tell it's a joke, they just might be a n00b!

Never disclose trade secrets without prior approval from a moderator. Ask 'em about it and you will see...Angelic

Then there are some noobs on this site been climbing 10, 20 years, haha.

DMT


billcoe_


Mar 29, 2007, 11:09 AM
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girl_lostInVA wrote:

you should definitely have a special exemption for attractive girls and hot chick noobs...always take them climbing Laugh

Second that! Leech needs to think this through a lil better:-)


cchildre


Mar 29, 2007, 11:14 AM
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I'll be a noob till I'm old and crusty.....working on the old...and have plenty of crust...though not exactly whats needed to overcome noobiness. I am far more likely to be listed in an accident report than ever escape the noob life. Gyms..... ;)


ihategrigris


Mar 29, 2007, 11:37 AM
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I suspect that almost everyone who is not either a certified guide, or otherwise a professional climbing is a n00b to some degree... even if you've lived in the valley for 5 years.


tigerlilly


Mar 29, 2007, 11:39 AM
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the_leech wrote:
Maybe we shouldn’t kill them directly, but we’ve got to do something about the influx of n00bs that increases exponentially every day.

I know we’ve all done this at least once... There’s a nice guy at work who says that he wants to come climbing some time. So you take him outside, show him the ropes, and have a good time. But what have you really done? You’ve created another n00b, that’s what.

Maybe you’ve seriously responded to an rc.com thread with a question like, “How do I make a toprope anchor?” You offered friendly, helpful advice and went on feeling good about yourself. Meanwhile, all you’ve done is support a n00b and encouraged him to climb more.

Have you noticed how the crags get more crowded each year? Are you tired of the throngs dominating popular routes with topropes all day?

Have you noticed how much more frequently you top out, only to see a n00b on a route near you scrambling to hook up a funky, sketchy anchor that would have been a straightforward setup for anyone with even a modicum of experience?

Do you live in fear of having to partake in yet another rescue because some clueless leader and his incompetent belayer come tumbling down and ruin your day?

There’s a solution, people. Listen up.

1. Stop taking new people climbing. Maybe you do it to be nice, find new partners, or perhaps you just feel better about yourself if you climb with less-experienced people. I don’t care what the reason is. Knock it off! There are enough climbers here now, and plenty of partners to go around. Pull from the existing pool.

2. Ask rc.com to ban the Beginner’s Forum altogether. If that is not acceptable, the administrators should at least establish an auto-delete function for all thread titles that start with “How do I…” and “What shoes…” and other frequently used n00b titles.

3. Stop encouraging n00bs online. These online forums seem to be the primary way that gym n00bs develop the “experience” to venture outdoors. I know it’s our nature to be helpful, but this has to stop. Respond to all n00b questions with “STFU n00b!” That’s it. Say no more.

4. Carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go. If you see some n00b giving a bad belay or struggling up a route with poor technique, refrain from giving helpful advice. Let them struggle or drop their n00b partner. Cull the n00bs. That’s what this is all about. Just be sure to move away from them so you don’t have to waste your day involved in a n00b rescue or recovery.

5. Boycott climbing gyms. This is a big sacrifice, I know. Especially if you live in an area without year-round outdoor climbing. But you know as well as I do that climbing gyms are the biggest producers of n00bs nowadays.

6. If you must use a climbing gym, refer to #4. In fact, feel free to be a dick to the n00bs you meet there. Make them feel unwelcome, perhaps even threatened. This attitude (called “localism” among surfers) is effective at keeping gumbies off the good surf breaks. We need to carry this attitude into climbing as well.

Some may wonder how you identify a n00b. If you have to ask this question, you likely are one of them. So STFU and find a new way to spend your free time!

These are just a few suggestions off the top of my head. I’d love to hear other suggestions and ideas. The important thing is that we work together to address this problem. We must cull the n00bs. The quality of our climbing future is at stake.

Ha! You'll never get rid of us, you elitest pigs! We're going to multiply like rabbits and take over every half decent line on the planet, even though we can't climb them. We'll sport our Patagucci clothes, harnesses with 16 gear loops (and one biner), and force our feet into the most expensive shoes we can find because.....because we can! And we think it makes us look like the cool kids. Beware! The nOObs are here to stay!

Bwwwaaaahhahahahahaha!


Kathy Wink


kriso9tails


Mar 29, 2007, 11:50 AM
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dingus wrote:
All of this is easily circumvented. Never, EVER tell a coworker you are a climber. This is a fundamental rule in Slacker's School.

If I knew there were going to be fundamental rules I wouldn't have even read that far. So much wasted effort. Guess I'll never be a slacker. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm busy pretending to work.

Oh, I forgot:

the_leech wrote:
1. Stop taking new people climbing. Maybe you do it to be nice, find new partners, or perhaps you just feel better about yourself if you climb with less-experienced people. I don’t care what the reason is. Knock it off! There are enough climbers here now, and plenty of partners to go around. Pull from the existing pool.

this is very narrow-minded thinking in my eyes. The trick is to introduce as many people to the sport as you can and ensure that their first experience is so wretched that not only will they never climb again, but they'll make sure to tell everyone they know just how bad it is.


(This post was edited by kriso9tails on Mar 29, 2007, 11:58 AM)


girl_lostInVA


Mar 29, 2007, 11:54 AM
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Re: [ihategrigris] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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ihategrigris wrote:
I suspect that almost everyone who is not either a certified guide, or otherwise a professional climbing is a n00b to some degree... even if you've lived in the valley for 5 years.

maybe there should be a n00b categorization scheme...

like:

1. obnoxious/annoying n00b (should be culled)
2. perpetual n00b because you don't have time to become a better climber ?
3. n00bette
4. ???

something like that so we're not lumping all of us n00bs in together, not all of us are soooo bad Wink


climbsomething


Mar 29, 2007, 12:06 PM
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girl_lostInVA wrote:
ihategrigris wrote:
I suspect that almost everyone who is not either a certified guide, or otherwise a professional climbing is a n00b to some degree... even if you've lived in the valley for 5 years.

maybe there should be a n00b categorization scheme...

like:

1. obnoxious/annoying n00b (should be culled)
2. perpetual n00b because you don't have time to become a better climber ?
3. n00bette
4. ???

something like that so we're not lumping all of us n00bs in together, not all of us are soooo bad Wink
But n00bettes ARE obnoxious/annoying. They (with their power-spotting sigma delta moron boyfriends) get in my way projecting my warm-ups. They also cry more than I do ("it's sooo haaaaaard, the holds are sooo baaaaad, it's waaaay up theeeeeeeeeere"), and take up all the trees I was going to clip my dog to as anchors for giving said boyfriend a TR belay.

Hi power_tie!


girl_lostInVA


Mar 29, 2007, 12:12 PM
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climbsomething wrote:
But n00bettes ARE obnoxious/annoying. They (with their power-spotting sigma delta moron boyfriends) get in my way projecting my warm-ups. They also cry more than I do ("it's sooo haaaaaard, the holds are sooo baaaaad, it's waaaay up theeeeeeeeeere"),

and behavior like that should be punished or banished!!

but everyone is new sometime...unless you climbed out of your mom with shoes and harness on


diophantus


Mar 29, 2007, 12:23 PM
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devils_advocate wrote:
Good work Leech, laid it all out for us in black and white. I’m proud to say, I have yet to actually be of any help what so ever on this site, so I know I’m doing my part.

Furthermore, I have already begun developing some anti-n00b devices.

My first is sort of like a screamer, it’s a tube with a ten-foot extension that is controlled via radio frequency. I figure the point here is not to kill the n00bs, they can do that on their own, but just to put some fright in them. Deployment of the extension during random times while they’re top roping should scare the majority of them back to their baseball fields and wave pools. Now all we need to do is come up with some fancy name for it and convince all n00bs that they always need to put one in between their power point and locker. Of course, doing that without explaining what a power point is (see #4: carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go) could be troublesome. Ok, so I have some kinks to iron out.

As for the gyms, well, that one is simple: beans. And the high levels of protein that you get is just icing on the cake.

Isn't your personality your first anti-n00b device?

I usually tell the n00bs in the gym to hit the campus board 4-5 days a week. I say it in the least helpful way so they know I'm hard core. After a couple days their tendons are so bad they can never climb again.


(This post was edited by diophantus on Mar 29, 2007, 12:31 PM)


poomasta


Mar 29, 2007, 12:39 PM
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I'm not against offering a few words of helpful advice to new folks at the crag if I like their attitude, but if they clearly don't know what they are doing and are intent on climbing anyhow, I will go climb in another area...preferably out of ear shot and far enough away that someone else will be responsible for coming to their aid if they get hurt. I know that sounds pretty horrible, but I don't go climbing to worry about everyone else at the crag...


moose_droppings


Mar 29, 2007, 12:41 PM
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I like n00bs....when battered properly and fried......nothing wrong with them at all.

P.S.
Majid, that tire is not inflated to the correct pressure, you'll die for sure.


girl_lostInVA


Mar 29, 2007, 12:45 PM
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moose_droppings wrote:
I like n00bs....when battered properly and fried......nothing wrong with them at all.

hmmm...I would probably come pre-salted from sweat so...that just might make me tastier

*sneaks away quietly*


banjo_jon


Mar 29, 2007, 2:10 PM
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oh you poor noobs, i realize that very few of us elitists can say they've never been in your shoes. as for me, well, when i was born the first thing i did was rap off the table using my umbilical chord, then i free solo'd the cat-scan machine. i think it was about 5.14d, just ask my mom.


Partner cracklover


Mar 29, 2007, 2:42 PM
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caughtinside wrote:
No, you don't understand, I NEED this man, so DON"T BLOW IT FOR ME. ... Please. I NEED THIS MAN.

I'm pretty sure that what you need is a comma. But perhaps you're right, and what you need is a man. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

GO


caughtinside


Mar 29, 2007, 2:49 PM
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cracklover wrote:
caughtinside wrote:
No, you don't understand, I NEED this man, so DON"T BLOW IT FOR ME. ... Please. I NEED THIS MAN.

I'm pretty sure that what you need is a comma. But perhaps you're right, and what you need is a man. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

GO

oh hell. who am I kidding and what do I care. Maybe I should heed the advice of vanilla ice?Crazy


poomasta


Mar 29, 2007, 3:20 PM
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dingus wrote:
...and if you have one of those corporate 'inspirational' climbing posters I'm gonna rip that abomination off the wall and burn it on your desk

THEY MAKE THOSE?!? I'm totally getting one for the cube. I'll put it right between my autographed sharma poster and my stone nudes calendar...sweet.


limeydave


Mar 29, 2007, 5:25 PM
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Right between your autographed stoned dude poster and your stone nudes calendar?

Sweet.


pappy


Mar 29, 2007, 5:27 PM
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thats pretty low. everyone has a chance to learn to climb. chill with it bro.


macblaze


Mar 29, 2007, 6:10 PM
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Re: [majid_sabet] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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majid_sabet wrote:
Is this proper for TR?

I am trying to rig it this weekend and do some outdoor TR but not sure if I got all of them in the right format, help me please

Thanks

[URL=http://imageshack.us]

You are obviously using a radial and an all season one at that. Gawd Ur gonna die NOOB!


(This post was edited by macblaze on Mar 29, 2007, 6:12 PM)


tradrenn


Mar 29, 2007, 6:28 PM
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See, if you made that about wannabee's I would agree with you.

n00bs are OK

therefore

STFU n00b !!!


the_leech


Mar 29, 2007, 8:21 PM
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Thank you all for the feedback. I’m glad that my ideas have generated such a lively discussion. Some of your comments are worthy of a direct response.


"salamanizer” wrote:
Maybe someone should have killed you.

I welcome your constructive comment. Hussein’s Al-Harris Al-Jamhuri (the Republican Guard, as you know it) tried that back in 1991. And, well, you know the outcome of that.



"rockguide” wrote:
Let the door hit your ass on the way out

Of course. How silly of me, n00bguide. I didn’t even consider how my plans would detract from your client base. Sorry. Maybe now you’ll have to go out and get a real job.



"climbsomething” wrote:
xoxo

Hey now! xoxo right back at you!



"bent_gate” wrote:
Well, this is a classic example of what happens when our climbing community doesn’t take the time to implement a comprehensive 'n00b Management Plan'...

I truly appreciate the effort and thought you put into your response. It seems that you have the organizational abilities and leadership skills to head this effort. Are you interested?

Our movement needs a strong leader. I'm more of an idea man.



"jt512” wrote:
That has a nice ring to it. It should be worked into a signature, t-shirt, bumper sticker, or something.

“Carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go” is not trademarked, nor do I plan to make it so. You all are welcome to use this phrase for any purpose, even your rc.com sig.



"caughtinside” wrote:
I really need to introduce more hot chicks to climbing. No, you don't understand, I NEED this man, so DON"T BLOW IT FOR ME. Please. I'm begging you. I won't take anyone else, I promise.

You’re absolutely right. This was just an oversight on my part. After many years happily married, I forget these sorts of things. Thankfully, this is a work in process and your concerns will certainly be addressed in the final product. Bent_gate, are you taking note of this? Make sure we include this exemption in The Plan.



"bbentley77” wrote:

Maybe if you could climb harder than 5.10 after all those years you've been climbing, you wouldn't be on the same routes as said noobs in the first place.

n00b, after you’ve been climbing more than four months, you might learn that even 5.11 climbers like to enjoy a classic 5.8 line once in a while, or may want to warm up by running laps on some of the popular 9s and easy 10s.

Geez. I just broke one of my own rules. Let me rephrase that: “STFU n00b!”



"girl_lostInVA” wrote:
you should definitely have a special exemption for attractive girls and hot chick noobs...always take them climbing

Your concerns have already been noted. I think this is a popular sentiment.



"Power_Tie” wrote:
wow, what a very poor and dangerous attitude you have. I hope you get help for that.

Good to see you around again, Mr. Tie. You’re a good man. BTW, have you been in touch with Gabe lately? I wonder how he’s doing.



"bigfatrock” wrote:
1. So your telling me you were never a n00b? You just woke up one morning with the ability to climb 5.14 and had all knowledge of climbing innate withing you?

Your powers of deduction amaze me, Einstein. Now, I’d say “STFU n00b!” but I think that phrase will become trite if overused in this thread.



"devils_advocate” wrote:
Good work Leech, laid it all out for us in black and white. I’m proud to say, I have yet to actually be of any help what so ever on this site, so I know I’m doing my part.

Furthermore, I have already begun developing some anti-n00b devices.

Devil, please see bent_gate about your ideas. He can incorporate them into The Plan.

Well, there are many more wonderful comments I’d like to respond to, but I have pressing obligations outside of this site so I must be moving on.

Keep up the great discussion! I’ll check back tomorrow and see how it’s going.


climbsomething


Mar 29, 2007, 8:28 PM
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4 lyfe!

"I'd let him ropegun bloodlet for me anytime!"


kyleshea


Mar 29, 2007, 8:50 PM
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effin hilarious leech


miavzero


Mar 29, 2007, 9:01 PM
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Let us be thankful for the noobs,
but for them, none of us would be entertained.


sgauss


Mar 29, 2007, 9:22 PM
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macblaze wrote:
majid_sabet wrote:
Is this proper for TR?

I am trying to rig it this weekend and do some outdoor TR but not sure if I got all of them in the right format, help me please

Thanks

[URL=http://imageshack.us]
[image]http://img92.imageshack.us/img92/5839/screenhunter002wo9.gif[/Image]

You are obviously using a radial and an all season one at that. Gawd Ur gonna die NOOB!

Worse, I think that tire is cross-loaded. Better check it for microfractures!


bbentley77


Mar 29, 2007, 9:30 PM
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In reply to:
n00b, after you’ve been climbing more than four months, you might learn that even 5.11 climbers like to enjoy a classic 5.8 line once in a while, or may want to warm up by running laps on some of the popular 9s and easy 10s.

Well than it looks like all the n00bs need to band together and take action. The next time you’re on a n00b route (pansy) and a bunch of greasy, hairy, stinkin, stark nekkid n00bs mysteriously come out of the wood work flinging poo, screaming like monkeys, swinging from rap lines, rubbing their big, greasy balls in your face and pissing on your head from above, you’ll know what it’s about. The n00bs r rollin t00 DEEEEEEP!!! Oh yes… muuuuuaaah ahahahahah… and there won't be a damn thing you can do about it nancy.... muuuuuaaaaahhhh ahahahah HOHOHOHOHOHO HEHEHEHEHHE....


(This post was edited by bbentley77 on Mar 30, 2007, 3:02 PM)


Partner brent_e


Mar 29, 2007, 10:05 PM
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dlintz wrote:
majid_sabet wrote:
Is this proper for TR?

I am trying to rig it this weekend and do some outdoor TR but not sure if I got all of them in the right format, help me please

Thanks

[URL=http://imageshack.us]

Just double up all your biners and you'll be set, you should probably double up those pulleys also. Wink

d.

and if the tire is on a car and not just ...laying on the ground, make sure the lugs are tight.


sactownclimber


Mar 29, 2007, 10:16 PM
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majid_sabet wrote:
Is this proper for TR?

I am trying to rig it this weekend and do some outdoor TR but not sure if I got all of them in the right format, help me please

Thanks

[URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img92.imageshack.us/img92/5839/screenhunter002wo9.gif[/IMG]

Majid just make sure you wear a helmet and you'll be fine.


majid_sabet


Mar 29, 2007, 11:56 PM
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sactownclimber wrote:
majid_sabet wrote:
Is this proper for TR?

I am trying to rig it this weekend and do some outdoor TR but not sure if I got all of them in the right format, help me please

Thanks

[URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img92.imageshack.us/img92/5839/screenhunter002wo9.gif[/IMG]

Majid just make sure you wear a helmet and you'll be fine.

You make fun of me, yaaaa, you think it is funny you n00b
[URL=http://imageshack.us]


the_chris


Mar 30, 2007, 9:07 PM
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Everybody has the right to climb. Its a great way to make new friends.

Every question asked here makes a begginer safer. Tell yourself that your answer could save that person's life. Trust me...I have taught climbing at my local gym. So far, the people that I have trained did not injure themselves or kill themselves.

My last question is do you remember the first time you climbed?


jt512


Mar 30, 2007, 9:12 PM
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the_chris wrote:
Trust me...I have taught climbing at my local gym.

And that, my friends, is rc.com in a nutshell.

Jay


miavzero


Mar 30, 2007, 9:26 PM
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the_chris wrote:
Everybody has the right to climb. Its a great way to make new friends.


or enemiesWink

the_chris wrote:
So far, the people that I have trained did not injure themselves or kill themselves.

you should try my profession


the_leech


Mar 30, 2007, 10:22 PM
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the_chris wrote:
Every question asked here makes a begginer safer.

Really? Have you actually read any of the answers?


the_chris wrote:
Tell yourself that your answer could save that person's life.

See above.


the_chris wrote:
Trust me...I have taught climbing at my local gym.

Teaching climbing at a gym. Hmmm… That's like teaching skydiving by jumping off a stepstool.


the_chris wrote:
So far, the people that I have trained did not injure themselves or kill themselves.

Good for you. I’m sure that will change if they actually start climbing.


the_chris wrote:
My last question is do you remember the first time you climbed?

Why yes, I do. Strangely enough, I did it without some gym n00b’s instruction or internet forums -- Yet I still managed to survive.

Gotta run. Have a great weekend everyone!


drunkenhighball


Mar 30, 2007, 10:46 PM
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super-mega-ultra-hyper-mega troll!!! that's right, double mega.


curt


Mar 30, 2007, 11:06 PM
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the_chris wrote:
Trust me...I have taught climbing at my local gym. So far, the people that I have trained did not injure themselves or kill themselves.

Do they know how to get off the ground yet?

Curt


suzie_cuzie


Mar 30, 2007, 11:49 PM
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bbentley77 wrote:
The next time you’re on a n00b route (pansy) and a bunch of greasy, hairy, stinkin, stark nekkid n00bs mysteriously come out of the wood work flinging poo, screaming like monkeys, swinging from rap lines, rubbing their big, greasy balls in your face and pissing on your head from above, you’ll know what it’s about.

That is quite possibly the most horrifying image I've ever been exposed to...


kixx


Mar 31, 2007, 8:29 AM
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CULL THE PRICKS!!!

I was just going to post a new thread about the inappropriate and harmful attitude toward aspiring climbers... This post has gone far beyond the negative attitude I thought was possible. It is truly unbelievable that this kind of behavior is even thought to be funny by some. And before anyone tells me to "lighten up - we're just having a little fun, bla blah" get out from behind the veil of animosity you all hide behind and think of the harm you are doing the climbing community.

Even the use of the term n00b has become derogatory and unacceptable. If you have to degrade others on the internet who are interested in doing something that you do, you must really have some inferiority issues. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP

Anyone who has been anything less than helpful to a beginning climber has done nothing but harm the climbing community. I'm begging everyone here at RC.com to please isolate these pricks and strongly discourage them from making these opinions public.

In fact I am encouraging everyone to crowd the pricks favorite climbs, throw ropes on their heads without warning, ask them annoying questions like "why don't you have any peetoons?", and even climb with them, because they hate climbing with people who don't share the same ideas.

When it comes down to brass tax the climbing pricks are small, scared, little people, who need to rag on anyone seen as inferior to them no matter how temporarily that situation might be. Pricks like this ruined a big part of my life.... see this thread for the full story:

http://www.rockclimbing.com/...;;page=unread#unread

CULL THE PRICKS!!!

Pricks - Before you think about flaming me get out from behind your animosity


kixx


Mar 31, 2007, 8:34 AM
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Oh, and if there are any new climbers out there who would like to learn more about the sport of rock, ice, and alpine, climbing or mountaineering please let me know.

i am willing to go well out of my way to spend time with beginners to make sure they don't fall into the trap of becoming pricks - i'll climb with anybody but a prick


macblaze


Mar 31, 2007, 10:42 AM
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kixx wrote:
CULL THE PRICKS!!!

CULL THE PRICKS!!!

Pricks - Before you think about flaming me get out from behind your animosity

Uhhhhhh... Your gentle and persuasive manner has convinced me...I guess...I mean at least I'm not afraid of you...Like, no more so than any other psychotic personality...

Take a pill dude. The world is full of a$$holes; think of them as free entertainment.


chads93gt


Mar 31, 2007, 10:49 AM
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I can't wait for the day you are a jerk to the wrong person at the local crags, and that person pulls your punk card and beats your ass for being such as asshole.


Rocknovice


Mar 31, 2007, 11:32 AM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the_leech wrote:
Maybe we shouldn’t kill them directly, but we’ve got to do something about the influx of n00bs that increases exponentially every day.

I know we’ve all done this at least once... There’s a nice guy at work who says that he wants to come climbing some time. So you take him outside, show him the ropes, and have a good time. But what have you really done? You’ve created another n00b, that’s what.

Maybe you’ve seriously responded to an rc.com thread with a question like, “How do I make a toprope anchor?” You offered friendly, helpful advice and went on feeling good about yourself. Meanwhile, all you’ve done is support a n00b and encouraged him to climb more.

Have you noticed how the crags get more crowded each year? Are you tired of the throngs dominating popular routes with topropes all day?

Have you noticed how much more frequently you top out, only to see a n00b on a route near you scrambling to hook up a funky, sketchy anchor that would have been a straightforward setup for anyone with even a modicum of experience?

Do you live in fear of having to partake in yet another rescue because some clueless leader and his incompetent belayer come tumbling down and ruin your day?

There’s a solution, people. Listen up.

1. Stop taking new people climbing. Maybe you do it to be nice, find new partners, or perhaps you just feel better about yourself if you climb with less-experienced people. I don’t care what the reason is. Knock it off! There are enough climbers here now, and plenty of partners to go around. Pull from the existing pool.

2. Ask rc.com to ban the Beginner’s Forum altogether. If that is not acceptable, the administrators should at least establish an auto-delete function for all thread titles that start with “How do I…” and “What shoes…” and other frequently used n00b titles.

3. Stop encouraging n00bs online. These online forums seem to be the primary way that gym n00bs develop the “experience” to venture outdoors. I know it’s our nature to be helpful, but this has to stop. Respond to all n00b questions with “STFU n00b!” That’s it. Say no more.

4. Carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go. If you see some n00b giving a bad belay or struggling up a route with poor technique, refrain from giving helpful advice. Let them struggle or drop their n00b partner. Cull the n00bs. That’s what this is all about. Just be sure to move away from them so you don’t have to waste your day involved in a n00b rescue or recovery.

5. Boycott climbing gyms. This is a big sacrifice, I know. Especially if you live in an area without year-round outdoor climbing. But you know as well as I do that climbing gyms are the biggest producers of n00bs nowadays.

6. If you must use a climbing gym, refer to #4. In fact, feel free to be a dick to the n00bs you meet there. Make them feel unwelcome, perhaps even threatened. This attitude (called “localism” among surfers) is effective at keeping gumbies off the good surf breaks. We need to carry this attitude into climbing as well.

Some may wonder how you identify a n00b. If you have to ask this question, you likely are one of them. So STFU and find a new way to spend your free time!

These are just a few suggestions off the top of my head. I’d love to hear other suggestions and ideas. The important thing is that we work together to address this problem. We must cull the n00bs. The quality of our climbing future is at stake.

Don't feed the trolls.


bbentley77


Mar 31, 2007, 12:06 PM
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Re: [chads93gt] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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chads93gt wrote:
I can't wait for the day you are a jerk to the wrong person at the local crags, and that person pulls your punk card and beats your ass for being such as asshole.

I assure you the leech is completely harmless... it's a joke man. It just makes it funnier when people get all pissed Laugh. Sorry for blowing the cover leech, but I am confident someone will still come along and completely disregard what I have said replying to your post all bent.... making it even funnier Laugh... I mean I feel bad for these people, so I try to help..... but some people just can't be helped. Oh look, here comes one of the lost and hopeless, in T-minus.... 10…..9….


(This post was edited by bbentley77 on Mar 31, 2007, 12:22 PM)


kyleshea


Mar 31, 2007, 12:34 PM
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Re: [kixx] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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kixx wrote:
CULL THE PRICKS!!!

I was just going to post a new thread about the inappropriate and harmful attitude toward aspiring climbers... This post has gone far beyond the negative attitude I thought was possible. It is truly unbelievable that this kind of behavior is even thought to be funny by some. And before anyone tells me to "lighten up - we're just having a little fun, bla blah" get out from behind the veil of animosity you all hide behind and think of the harm you are doing the climbing community.

Even the use of the term n00b has become derogatory and unacceptable. If you have to degrade others on the internet who are interested in doing something that you do, you must really have some inferiority issues. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP

Anyone who has been anything less than helpful to a beginning climber has done nothing but harm the climbing community. I'm begging everyone here at RC.com to please isolate these pricks and strongly discourage them from making these opinions public.

In fact I am encouraging everyone to crowd the pricks favorite climbs, throw ropes on their heads without warning, ask them annoying questions like "why don't you have any peetoons?", and even climb with them, because they hate climbing with people who don't share the same ideas.

When it comes down to brass tax the climbing pricks are small, scared, little people, who need to rag on anyone seen as inferior to them no matter how temporarily that situation might be. Pricks like this ruined a big part of my life.... see this thread for the full story:

http://www.rockclimbing.com/...;;page=unread#unread

CULL THE PRICKS!!!

Pricks - Before you think about flaming me get out from behind your animosity

so i thought about flaming you. and then i stepped out from my veil of animosity. and now i am standing out in front of it. and flaming you. and i post under my real name. first off, do you personally know any of the said "pricks?" have you seen them be disrespectful in real life to nOObs? and if nOOb is so derogatory, why do you use the term yourself? dont give the "well that is the term used here" excuse, you could have chosen another word. this is the iternet and if anyone chooses to believe everything they read here, i feel sorry for them. there is no clause in the registration on this site stating that every post has to be serious and as factual as possible. THIS IS NOT THE REAL WORLD, it is the internet. i personally find this thread hilarious, as i have posted already, but i would help a nOOb if i thought i could. in person, in the real world. have you considered the OP as a sort of commentary on the seeking of information in an online forum, where people are often known to troll, instead of finding someone in the real world to personally and first hand find information from. there are also a large amount of repeated posts that could be avoided if the nOOb would do a bit of searching on this or other sites instead of just posting. oh no, that would require some effort on their part. my last question for now is whether or not you realize that your statement of culling the pricks presents the same type of animosity as the OP. so you are really doing nothing to help here. it sucks that people have ruined your life for you, probably not over the internet. i also like how you decided to give the link to let everyone know just how helpful you are. if i ever need any help, i will ask you first, then the rest of the ruined community after that.


miavzero


Mar 31, 2007, 2:11 PM
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Sorry, but I enjoy a hostile atmosphere of people giving each other shit. If someone is a jerk, says something out of line, does not know what the hell they are talking about, or puts a preposition at the end of a sentence, they sometimes deserve a little grief. Myself included.

I don't want rc.com to become boldering.com, but its a little fun to get into the occasional pissing match. I think that fewer people here would participate if the site was a warm and fuzzy Q&A, here are my toproping photos from spring break sort of affair.

The beginners forum is a great place for friendly and sincere responses. A little drama adds some fun elsewhere.

We should be total dicks to noobs online, and helpful mentors at the crags. Hopefully this will discourage them from developing a dependency on online forumsSmile

I'm kidding a little on this last point. The cannons of netiquette tell us to act the same online as we would in face to face interactions, but I find it hard to bring real life color to the internet without someone misinterpreting my post as malicious hatred. If anyone ever feels as though one of my posts has taken away their birthday, they are entitled to a public or private apology.

Cheers,
Marty


Partner j_ung


Mar 31, 2007, 2:29 PM
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Re: [bbentley77] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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bbentley77 wrote:
Sorry for blowing the cover leech...

That's not possible on RC.com. Laugh


chads93gt


Mar 31, 2007, 3:20 PM
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Re: [bbentley77] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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afgghhhh its hard to read sarcasm on the web, my bad. hooligans!!!


axelvanettinger


Mar 31, 2007, 3:57 PM
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Don't forget! We all were a n00b some time ago, for one it was longer ago then for another, but we all been a noob. There just need to be some kind of standard treatment to keep the growth in control, like an forced course or something, so all know the basics and know how to handle things.


norm1057


Mar 31, 2007, 4:22 PM
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Re: [axelvanettinger] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Are you saying some type of state sponsored licensing program I could complete to get a license?


I think I'll I just laugh. It's much easier.Cool


axelvanettinger


Mar 31, 2007, 4:31 PM
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ok i live in the netherlands and there are 2 kind of climbers in my area the good and the bad (their all ugly).
But i can tell when someone is explained how to climb, and whom is not explained. The ppl who is not learned/told how to belay and take a fall, are the ppl you hear banging on the ground when their lowerd by their belayer. saw it a few times. gives you the creeps, makes you wish they weren't around or at least took a course.

I did a course too. Made me feel less n00b? No, but at least i could climb on my own and nobody had to watch me. That's what i like of other climbers too. Doesn't matter if their n00bs or have months, years or ages of experiance. we still know we all did a course and know how to climb.


diophantus


Mar 31, 2007, 5:41 PM
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Re: [kixx] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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kixx wrote:
In fact I am encouraging everyone to crowd the pricks favorite climbs, throw ropes on their heads without warning, ask them annoying questions like "why don't you have any peetoons?", and even climb with them, because they hate climbing with people who don't share the same ideas.

I doubt you could even get off the ground on my favorite warm-ups. But give it a shot, I always need a good laugh... Hahahahahaha


(This post was edited by diophantus on Mar 31, 2007, 6:08 PM)


climbsomething


Mar 31, 2007, 6:18 PM
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kixx wrote:

In fact I am encouraging everyone to crowd the pricks favorite climbs, throw ropes on their heads without warning, ask them annoying questions like "why don't you have any peetoons?", and even climb with them, because they hate climbing with people who don't share the same ideas.
Anybody who wants to even ask about my "peetoon" better buy me dinner first. Or at least a cranberry apple clif bar.


Partner cracklover


Mar 31, 2007, 7:07 PM
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Re: [kixx] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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kixx wrote:
CULL THE PRICKS!!!

I was just going to post a new thread about the inappropriate and harmful attitude toward aspiring climbers... This post has gone far beyond the negative attitude I thought was possible. It is truly unbelievable that this kind of behavior is even thought to be funny by some. And before anyone tells me to "lighten up - we're just having a little fun, bla blah" get out from behind the veil of animosity you all hide behind and think of the harm you are doing the climbing community.

Even the use of the term n00b has become derogatory and unacceptable. If you have to degrade others on the internet who are interested in doing something that you do, you must really have some inferiority issues. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP

Anyone who has been anything less than helpful to a beginning climber has done nothing but harm the climbing community. I'm begging everyone here at RC.com to please isolate these pricks and strongly discourage them from making these opinions public.

In fact I am encouraging everyone to crowd the pricks favorite climbs, throw ropes on their heads without warning, ask them annoying questions like "why don't you have any peetoons?", and even climb with them, because they hate climbing with people who don't share the same ideas.

When it comes down to brass tax the climbing pricks are small, scared, little people, who need to rag on anyone seen as inferior to them no matter how temporarily that situation might be. Pricks like this ruined a big part of my life.... see this thread for the full story:

http://www.rockclimbing.com/...;;page=unread#unread

CULL THE PRICKS!!!

Pricks - Before you think about flaming me get out from behind your animosity

Thanks, dude! That's the funniest thing I've read online in ages. Even a good bit better than the OP in this thread. I can't wait to read about how the evil online pricks ruined your life. Thanks for the link! Yay!

Cheers!

GO


norm1057


Mar 31, 2007, 7:40 PM
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Excellent post and thanks for the insight. I did get a good laugh until reading the rest of the story.


climbsomething


Mar 31, 2007, 7:49 PM
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Aww. I do believe a lot of drama happened offline and putting it all out online will never REALLY show 100% of the truth. I followed the links... looks like what happened was basically real... and hell, I even participated in the original thread by the porter (what the hell was I doing in an alpine thread, anyway?!)

I don't know what side to believe. Both sides were convincing enough in their writing. But it looks like whatever happened, kixx was really wounded. That sucks for him. I hope he's healed some.

But even giving kixx full benefit of the doubt (hey, it's the internet) I hope I am not being too snarky in saying, that was that... and this is a silly, if cruel, little joke thread by the_leech. It's too bad it opened up some deep wounds. But it really is humor. Not everybody is expected to laugh, but there's no need to take this thread personally.


kixx


Mar 31, 2007, 9:03 PM
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OK, my white flag is up...

The sarcasm and general witty ribbing that goes on in the online forums can be really funny. (The "ask the n00b" thread has put me on the floor laughing more than once. Thanks Subtle for making light of all of us - sport, trad, boulderers, ice climbers, etc.)

I think everyone can agree that if and when a negative attitude crosses from the internet to the crags it is really bad for the climbing community. This happened to me in a very dramatic way so i react poorly when i see it encouraged online. i see that the leech was being sarcastic... but with the attitude toward beginning climbers deteriorating (mostly because of a few really dumb ones) you can see how this could be taken seriously and carry over into the real world.

If trolling or lazy internet posters who don't want to research their new interest in climbing post up dumb and silly questions because they think it's funny or they really are uninformed, and this drives you crazy then just ignore the thread... Somebody will come along and tell them to hang out at a gym and point out a few good books to read. We can all do that right?

Most climbers I've met have been more than helpful and encouraging, but it only takes a few pricks to destroy somebody's enthusiasm for joining what is really a great group of diverse people.

The fact of the matter is that you never know who exactly your talking to online, and who to believe. It would be very difficult for an honest beginner to sort through the sarcasm... so i think it should be kept off the beginner forum at the very least (where sarcastic remarks have been abundant)

If everyone took the steps to help educate rather than discourage beginners we might see less dumb and dangerous events in the real vertical world. Required classes or licenses would kill climbing as we know it (being an independent group of folks) so we need to take the responsibility to educate as a community.

If you want to "cull the n00bs" than help them become real climbers instead of being pricks to them - online and off. (the two worlds are blending in this day in age)

Cull the Pricks was meant to be sarcastic and funny but I see it didn't really accomplish anything - sorry.

Climb hard
Kris in Po-Town


the_leech


Apr 1, 2007, 11:47 AM
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In June 2004, the Food and Drug Administration cleared the first application for leeches (Hirudo medicinalis) to be used in modern medicine as medical devices.

Surgeons who do plastic and reconstructive surgery find leeches especially valuable when regrafting amputated appendages, such as fingers or toes.

"The idea behind the leeches is to cause blood to ooze so that the body's own blood supply will eventually take over and the limb can go on and survive," says Rod J. Rohrich, M.D., president of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

Leeches apply the perfect amount of suction to get the blood flowing. But Rohrich also says he uses the leeches only when there's a compromised situation, such as following surgery, "when the patient's own blood supply isn't adequate."

Packing a one-two chemical punch, the benefit of leech therapy comes not from the amount of blood that is extracted, but in the powerful anti-clotting agent hirudin, contained in the parasite's saliva, which keeps blood flowing freely. At the same time, leeches emit a natural anesthetic that minimizes pain during their feast.

excerpted from www.fda.gov


bbentley77


Apr 1, 2007, 12:20 PM
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the_leech wrote:
In June 2004, the Food and Drug Administration cleared the first application for leeches (Hirudo medicinalis) to be used in modern medicine as medical devices.

Surgeons who do plastic and reconstructive surgery find leeches especially valuable when regrafting amputated appendages, such as fingers or toes.

"The idea behind the leeches is to cause blood to ooze so that the body's own blood supply will eventually take over and the limb can go on and survive," says Rod J. Rohrich, M.D., president of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

Leeches apply the perfect amount of suction to get the blood flowing. But Rohrich also says he uses the leeches only when there's a compromised situation, such as following surgery, "when the patient's own blood supply isn't adequate."

Packing a one-two chemical punch, the benefit of leech therapy comes not from the amount of blood that is extracted, but in the powerful anti-clotting agent hirudin, contained in the parasite's saliva, which keeps blood flowing freely. At the same time, leeches emit a natural anesthetic that minimizes pain during their feast.

excerpted from www.fda.gov

How could you ruin such a good thread by posting something so utterly lame and retarded? What the hell is the matter with you?


charley


Apr 1, 2007, 1:16 PM
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pappy wrote:
thats pretty low. everyone has a chance to learn to climb. chill with it bro.

I agree. The next thing ya know you'll want to get rid of us old farts cause we're not fast enough. How bout next we start on ppl whose user name starts with the.MadCrazyCoolSmile


tonloc


Apr 1, 2007, 1:31 PM
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pappy wrote:
thats pretty low. everyone has a chance to learn to climb. chill with it bro.

Sounds like pappy is a prime canidate to commit bro-rape

http://www.derrickcomedy.com/brorape.htm


pappy


Apr 1, 2007, 2:19 PM
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In reply to:
Sounds like pappy is a prime canidate to commit bro-rape
dude chill, lets just get some beers and talk it over. haha. thats one of the weirdest videos i've watched in a while. Laugh


tonloc


Apr 1, 2007, 2:50 PM
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yeah sounds good lets just bro out and talk about jack johnson, ill bring the natty ice


curtis_g


Apr 1, 2007, 3:05 PM
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If 'n00bs' are clogging your routes then you should probably start climbing harder before I call you a 'n00b' yourself.


drummergirl


Apr 1, 2007, 4:45 PM
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i'd just like to point out that YOU in fact were a n00b at some point, and im sure that you didn't go sailing to the top of the social climbing chain in a day.
it may surprise you...but there are n00bs out there that want to keep their local spots as quiet as you do.
and guess what... people know about Climbing!
Fact: there are a lot of people in this world.
Fact: Climbing is becoming a more popular sport whether you like it or not.
So get over it, because your elitist revolution will never happen.

happy climbing!


bbentley77


Apr 1, 2007, 5:19 PM
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drummergirl, please read the whole thread, esp pg 3 at the bottom. I normally wouldn't do this, but you're hot, and I feel obligated to protect you....


pappy


Apr 1, 2007, 5:23 PM
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In reply to:
drummergirl, please read the whole thread, esp pg 3 at the bottom. I normally wouldn't do this, but you're hot, and I feel obligated to protect you....
hahahaLaugh


doktor_g


Apr 1, 2007, 5:32 PM
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You elitist douche bag. I bet you are a whiney little gumbie yourself... bragging how you crushed some over bolted 5.11 sport route at your local crag or "put up" a new boulder problem. Spend less time on the net and more with a pack on your back. Less yo-yo and more go go.

Grover


the_leech


Apr 1, 2007, 5:40 PM
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“curtis_g” wrote:
If 'n00bs' are clogging your routes then you should probably start climbing harder before I call you a 'n00b' yourself.

If you read the entire thread before posting, you might appear to be less of a jackass. At least bandwidth won’t be wasted by your repetitious drivel. Please refer back to page three for a response to your asinine comment.



“drummergirl” wrote:
i'd just like to point out that YOU in fact were a n00b at some point, and im sure that you didn't go sailing to the top of the social climbing chain in a day... bla... bla... bla... bla...

I don’t see why you’re all worked up, honey. Based on your profile pic, you may be eligible for the exemption suggested by girl_lostInVA back on page one. Even n00bBentley picked up on this. Just keep in mind that an annoying personality can exclude you from the exemption.

Now, before anymore of you throw a fit, please remember what Dr. Rohrich said: "The idea behind the leeches is to cause blood to ooze so that the body's own blood supply will eventually take over and the limb can go on and survive."

This is for your own good, n00bs.


bbentley77


Apr 1, 2007, 6:30 PM
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In reply to:
please remember what Dr. Rohrich said: "The idea behind the leeches is to cause blood to ooze so that the body's own blood supply will eventually take over and the limb can go on and survive".

I'm tellin you... you're blowin it with this Dr. Rohrich nonsense.... lose it and it's a masterpiece!

In reply to:
“curtis_g” wrote:
If 'n00bs' are clogging your routes then you should probably start climbing harder before I call you a 'n00b' yourself.

BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHHA!

In reply to:
If you read the entire thread before posting, you might appear to be less of a jackass.

bWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(This post was edited by bbentley77 on Apr 1, 2007, 7:22 PM)


scuclimber


Apr 1, 2007, 8:41 PM
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j_ung wrote:
Dood, masterful. I don't care how many serious responses it gets, this is now my favorite troll of all time.

I agree with j_ung. One of the best. And it continues to be.


curtis_g


Apr 1, 2007, 10:16 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the_leech wrote:
“curtis_g” wrote:
If 'n00bs' are clogging your routes then you should probably start climbing harder before I call you a 'n00b' yourself.

If you read the entire thread before posting, you might appear to be less of a jackass. At least bandwidth won’t be wasted by your repetitious drivel. Please refer back to page three for a response to your asinine comment.

I read it, leech, and I read through your trolling too, it just saddens me that you value your cred on RC.com so much that you went through the apparent effort of that post just to either boost your ego and/or gain menial internet credentials by trolling n00bs and afterwards holding you nose high and snuffing everyone who doesn't think you're the $hit.

You poor poor man.


knieveltech


Apr 1, 2007, 10:39 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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This is hands down one of the funniest threads I've seen since subtle quit posting to the Ask The n00b thread. Speaking of noobs, know your enemy:

I thrutch on warmup routes. I beg my belayer to haul me past the crux while toproping. I whine. I constantly interrupt my climber coworkers during the day with clueless drivel, IM'd links to random crap off of RC.com, blathering about wanting to go places I couldn't climb with a ladder, bitching about getting shut down the weekend before on my latest v1 "project", etc. I've managed to disgust entire crags worth of onlookers by refusing to retrieve a rope wedged in some third class terrain at the bottom of a route because "the exposure was making me dizzy". I've posted pics to online of bouldering a playground just because there's a heelhook involved. In short, I'm a noob. and as a noob I think folks getting bent out of shape over what's obviously a funny post is retarded. My only real complaint is the OP totally missed the most insidious aspect of having noobs hanging around the crag.

Here's a scenario for you, it may sound familiar. You've headed out to the local boulders to crank on your latest v9 project. You brought your girl along (also a climber). Everything's cool and the gang that morning while the group's sessioning a few warmup problems, but when the main event kicks off your girl is left hanging around with the packs because maybe she doesn't climb quite as hard as you do. Enter stage left, the Noob. Two problems over there's a guy thrutching away on a V1, making a total spectacle of himself. After getting thoroughly shut down he looks over at your girl (who's very likely bored at this point because its been an hour since she's gotten to climb) "Hey, you want to try this? I've already got a pad down, I'd be happy to spot for you." So maybe she takes a crack at the problem. She sends it easily. The noob's clearly impressed. The amazement, praise, and envy of her climbing skills is obvious in his voice. " Wow, you really hiked that. That was great!" An introduction and small talk insues, blah blah, yadda yadda: "Have you seen any easier problems around here?" So maybe out of pity, she shows him a few of the really easy warmup routes. At this point the noob has managed to engratiate itself completely on your girl. You finish your climbing for the day only to find your girl's wandered off. An hour later she comes strolling back down the trail with this gumby in tow. They're chatting like old friends. Introductions are made all around. And then, the coup de grace. "Hey honey, aren't we heading out to <insert climbing destination here> next weekend? We should take Bob the Noob along." Six months later this guy is now glommed on to just about every climbing tirp you make. On the few ocassions you ditched him your girl gave you grief for being "mean" and went on and on about how she has more fun when she has someone closer to her skill level (read way below her skill level) to climb with. Next thing you know she's started going to the climbing gym on your rest nights. It's only a matter of time....


ninja_climber


Apr 1, 2007, 11:56 PM
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Re: [knieveltech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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STFU n00b Tongue


kixx


Apr 2, 2007, 4:12 AM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Thanks for making everyone bleed Leech, I see now that it's all done us a lot of good. Crazy

I'm just going to stay off the general discussions forum from now on. (let me know if subtle writes for us again and then i'll be back)

I don't get all you cyberspace characters so i'm going climbing instead.

You have successfully culled an RC.com n00b from the general discussions board. i wish i never read it.Tongue


(This post was edited by kixx on Apr 2, 2007, 8:09 AM)


azrockclimber


Apr 2, 2007, 4:39 AM
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Re: [girl_lostInVA] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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girl_lostInVA wrote:
caughtinside wrote:
now, in theory, I agree with you. however, I really need to introduce more hot chicks to climbing.

you should definitely have a special exemption for attractive girls and hot chick noobs...always take them climbing Laugh

girl_lostinVA

yes you would feel that way! haha

...obviously someone used the "hot girl noob" excuse when they took you....

way to go whoever that was, seriously Smile


girl_lostInVA


Apr 2, 2007, 7:17 AM
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Re: [azrockclimber] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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azrockclimber wrote:
girl_lostInVA wrote:
caughtinside wrote:
now, in theory, I agree with you. however, I really need to introduce more hot chicks to climbing.

you should definitely have a special exemption for attractive girls and hot chick noobs...always take them climbing Laugh

girl_lostinVA

yes you would feel that way! haha

...obviously someone used the "hot girl noob" excuse when they took you....

way to go whoever that was, seriously Smile

LOL Laugh
I don't know what reason other than he was being a nice guy, but hey, I'll take it!! If that nice cute guy needed an excuse to take me, the n00b, climbing...I don't care what the excuse was...Smile


Partner j_ung


Apr 2, 2007, 8:32 AM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the_leech wrote:
“drummergirl” wrote:
i'd just like to point out that YOU in fact were a n00b at some point, and im sure that you didn't go sailing to the top of the social climbing chain in a day... bla... bla... bla... bla...

I don’t see why you’re all worked up, honey. Based on your profile pic, you may be eligible for the exemption suggested by girl_lostInVA back on page one. Even n00bBentley picked up on this. Just keep in mind that an annoying personality can exclude you from the exemption.

LaughLaugh

This thread gets better by the inch.


cchildre


Apr 2, 2007, 8:55 AM
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Re: [girl_lostInVA] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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girl_lostInVA wrote:
but everyone is new sometime...unless you climbed out of your mom with shoes and harness on

WOW I wonder what sort of rating that problem would get? It has to be a boulder rating using the V scale, considering what your climbing...


the_leech


Apr 2, 2007, 5:35 PM
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Re: [curtis_g] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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curtis_g wrote:
the_leech wrote:
If you read the entire thread before posting, you might appear to be less of a jackass. At least bandwidth won’t be wasted by your repetitious drivel. Please refer back to page three for a response to your asinine comment.

I read it, leech, and I read through your trolling too, it just saddens me that you value your cred on RC.com so much that you went through the apparent effort of that post just to either boost your ego and/or gain menial internet credentials by trolling n00bs and afterwards holding you nose high and snuffing everyone who doesn't think you're the $hit.

You poor poor man.

I retract my earlier reply to you. I'm man enough to admit that I was wrong. It's now obvious that you are quite a jackass even when you read the entire thread before posting.



ninja_climber wrote:
STFU n00b

This is an excellent example of one of the most basic "cull the n00b" skills. Good work! Don't forget to hone and utilize your "attitude of discouragement" as well.



kixx wrote:
You have successfully culled an RC.com n00b from the general discussions board. i wish i never read it.

Excellent news! Thanks for sharing. It seems our strategies are working. Everyone who is applying their "cull the n00bs" skills should be very proud. I won't claim victory yet, because this is only the beginning of a long battle...


curtis_g


Apr 2, 2007, 6:06 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the_leech wrote:
curtis_g wrote:
the_leech wrote:
If you read the entire thread before posting, you might appear to be less of a jackass. At least bandwidth won’t be wasted by your repetitious drivel. Please refer back to page three for a response to your asinine comment.

I read it, leech, and I read through your trolling too, it just saddens me that you value your cred on RC.com so much that you went through the apparent effort of that post just to either boost your ego and/or gain menial internet credentials by trolling n00bs and afterwards holding you nose high and snuffing everyone who doesn't think you're the $hit.

You poor poor man.

I retract my earlier reply to you. I'm man enough to admit that I was wrong. It's now obvious that you are quite a jackass even when you read the entire thread before posting.

haha.Laugh just plaing the game being played.


dingus


Apr 2, 2007, 6:27 PM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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the_leech wrote:
kixx wrote:
You have successfully culled an RC.com n00b from the general discussions board. i wish i never read it.

Excellent news! Thanks for sharing.

Say you ejected the Kixx
On post sixty six!

Club the Noob.

DMT


(This post was edited by dingus on Apr 2, 2007, 6:27 PM)


azrockclimber


Apr 3, 2007, 4:18 AM
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Re: [girl_lostInVA] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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girl_lostInVA wrote:
azrockclimber wrote:
girl_lostInVA wrote:
caughtinside wrote:
now, in theory, I agree with you. however, I really need to introduce more hot chicks to climbing.

you should definitely have a special exemption for attractive girls and hot chick noobs...always take them climbing Laugh

girl_lostinVA

yes you would feel that way! haha

...obviously someone used the "hot girl noob" excuse when they took you....

way to go whoever that was, seriously Smile

LOL Laugh
I don't know what reason other than he was being a nice guy, but hey, I'll take it!! If that nice cute guy needed an excuse to take me, the n00b, climbing...I don't care what the excuse was...Smile

well, I definitely know the reason.... Wink

us guys aren't really all that nice...haha


Partner cracklover


Apr 3, 2007, 7:54 AM
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Re: [knieveltech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Nice post, Knieveltech. I figured there had to be reason why I like multi-pitch trad climbing better than bouldering. Now I know why.

GO


knieveltech


Apr 3, 2007, 8:02 AM
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Re: [cracklover] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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cracklover wrote:
Nice post, Knieveltech. I figured there had to be reason why I like multi-pitch trad climbing better than bouldering. Now I know why.

GO

Thanks! It's an unfortunate truth that multipitch trad is more or less n00b-proof. I'm still trying to figure out a way to glomp onto a trad climber, so far no dice. It's really hampering my goal of applying my thrutching/whining skills to all aspects of the sport.


olderic


Apr 3, 2007, 8:14 AM
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Re: [knieveltech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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knieveltech wrote:
Thanks! It's an unfortunate truth that multipitch trad is more or less n00b-proof.

The nOOb virus is so powerful and spreading so rapidly then even multi-pitch trad climbs are no longer immune. There are a variety of tactics they use to try and acquire these scarce resources - the most popular is to set up a TR on the first pitch and hang one of their over-weight flailers a few feet off the ground for hours on end - occasionally swapping flailers. The slightest reproach will ellicit the standard "You should have gotten here earlier if you wanted to climb this". (despite the fact that "earlier" the real climbers had probably fired off 5-6 pitches in the same time they nOObs were grovelling up to and setting up their anchor).


(This post was edited by olderic on Apr 3, 2007, 8:58 AM)


knieveltech


Apr 3, 2007, 8:43 AM
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Re: [olderic] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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olderic wrote:
knieveltech wrote:
Thanks! It's an unfortunate truth that multipitch trad is more or less n00b-proof.

The nOOb virus is so powerful and spreading so rapidly then even multi-pitch trad climbs are no longer immune. There are a variety of tactics they use to try and acquire these scarce resources - the most popular is to set up a TR on the first pitch and hang one of their over-weight flailers a few feet off the ground for ours on end - occasionally swapping flailers. The slightest reproach will ellicit the standard "You should have gotten here earlier if you wanted to climb this". (despite the fact that "earlier" the ral climbers had probably fired off 5-6 pitches in the same time they nOObs were grovelling up to and setting up their anchor).

Hmm, sounds like a viable technique. I'd give that a try but I don't have kit for anchors yet. Even so, the trad climbers around here are a pretty cagey bunch. So far all attempts to infiltrate their ranks have failed miserably. Maybe if I bought a couple of nuts and maybe a cam to go on my harness at the gym...you know, like camoflage? Waddaya think?


codhands


Apr 3, 2007, 8:43 AM
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Re: [majid_sabet] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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majid_sabet wrote:
Is this proper for TR?

I am trying to rig it this weekend and do some outdoor TR but not sure if I got all of them in the right format, help me please

Thanks

[URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img92.imageshack.us/img92/5839/screenhunter002wo9.gif[/IMG]

You forgot the screamer. Otherwise bomber!


granite_grrl


Apr 3, 2007, 8:49 AM
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Re: [codhands] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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codhands wrote:
majid_sabet wrote:
Is this proper for TR?

I am trying to rig it this weekend and do some outdoor TR but not sure if I got all of them in the right format, help me please

Thanks

[URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img92.imageshack.us/img92/5839/screenhunter002wo9.gif[/IMG]

You forgot the screamer. Otherwise bomber!

I thought that the first person who hangs off that rig would be the screamer.


djbiggs


Apr 3, 2007, 8:56 AM
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Re: [olderic] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Indeed ... cull em. Some of the best advice I have been given in culling noobs is simply tell them to use their initiative, and hey its just simple mechanics .... how hard can it be?
There was a lot of advertising put into culling noobs famously the "just do it" campaign initially run by a charity until bought out by nike and used for profit. Tragically another good cause abused was the "No fear" campaign somewhat more successful getting noobs to do themselves in.

But to all those wanting shoe size advice ... have no fear just do it. buy it I mean (don't climb)


(This post was edited by djbiggs on Apr 3, 2007, 8:57 AM)


olderic


Apr 3, 2007, 9:00 AM
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Re: [knieveltech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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knieveltech wrote:
Hmm, sounds like a viable technique. I'd give that a try but I don't have kit for anchors yet. Even so, the trad climbers around here are a pretty cagey bunch. So far all attempts to infiltrate their ranks have failed miserably. Maybe if I bought a couple of nuts and maybe a cam to go on my harness at the gym...you know, like camoflage? Waddaya think?

I think...I think that you truely should be deemed "King of all nOObs". By the way - if you are ever up in the Boston area I'd be happy to take you climbing.


keegan540


Apr 3, 2007, 9:07 AM
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Re: [salamanizer] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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How do I set up a top rope anchor?


knieveltech


Apr 3, 2007, 9:57 AM
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Re: [olderic] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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olderic wrote:
knieveltech wrote:
Hmm, sounds like a viable technique. I'd give that a try but I don't have kit for anchors yet. Even so, the trad climbers around here are a pretty cagey bunch. So far all attempts to infiltrate their ranks have failed miserably. Maybe if I bought a couple of nuts and maybe a cam to go on my harness at the gym...you know, like camoflage? Waddaya think?

I think...I think that you truely should be deemed "King of all nOObs". By the way - if you are ever up in the Boston area I'd be happy to take you climbing.

I'm flattered, but the title "King of all n00bs" has already been taken by Subtle. I'm just a precocious underling. http://www.rockclimbing.com/...cgi?username=subtle;


Partner cracklover


Apr 3, 2007, 1:01 PM
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Re: [olderic] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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olderic wrote:
knieveltech wrote:
Hmm, sounds like a viable technique. I'd give that a try but I don't have kit for anchors yet. Even so, the trad climbers around here are a pretty cagey bunch. So far all attempts to infiltrate their ranks have failed miserably. Maybe if I bought a couple of nuts and maybe a cam to go on my harness at the gym...you know, like camoflage? Waddaya think?

I think...I think that you truely should be deemed "King of all nOObs". By the way - if you are ever up in the Boston area I'd be happy to take you climbing.

Ditto. Anyone with a wry sense of humour, capable of gently making fun of himself and others in the same breath - well n00b or not, it sounds like the makings of a fine day at the crag to me.

GO


knieveltech


Apr 4, 2007, 12:17 PM
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Re: [cracklover] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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cracklover wrote:
olderic wrote:
knieveltech wrote:
Hmm, sounds like a viable technique. I'd give that a try but I don't have kit for anchors yet. Even so, the trad climbers around here are a pretty cagey bunch. So far all attempts to infiltrate their ranks have failed miserably. Maybe if I bought a couple of nuts and maybe a cam to go on my harness at the gym...you know, like camoflage? Waddaya think?

I think...I think that you truely should be deemed "King of all nOObs". By the way - if you are ever up in the Boston area I'd be happy to take you climbing.

Ditto. Anyone with a wry sense of humour, capable of gently making fun of himself and others in the same breath - well n00b or not, it sounds like the makings of a fine day at the crag to me.

GO

Taken as high praise. If I ever find myself heading up north I'll definitely try to check out the Boston area.


SubieKid


Apr 4, 2007, 7:54 PM
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the_leech wrote:
Blah blah blah, bitch, moan, blah, blah, blah-blah, whine, blah-blah, I think I'm special, blah, blah, girls dont like me, blah-blah, blah, I never got laid in high school, blah, blah, bitch and moan some more...

There’s a solution, people. Listen up.

1. Stop taking new people climbing. Maybe you do it to be nice, find new partners, or perhaps you just feel better about yourself if you climb with less-experienced people. I don’t care what the reason is. Knock it off! There are enough climbers here now, and plenty of partners to go around. Pull from the existing pool.

2. Ask rc.com to ban the Beginner’s Forum altogether. If that is not acceptable, the administrators should at least establish an auto-delete function for all thread titles that start with “How do I…” and “What shoes…” and other frequently used n00b titles.

3. Stop encouraging n00bs online. These online forums seem to be the primary way that gym n00bs develop the “experience” to venture outdoors. I know it’s our nature to be helpful, but this has to stop. Respond to all n00b questions with “STFU n00b!” That’s it. Say no more.

4. Carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go. If you see some n00b giving a bad belay or struggling up a route with poor technique, refrain from giving helpful advice. Let them struggle or drop their n00b partner. Cull the n00bs. That’s what this is all about. Just be sure to move away from them so you don’t have to waste your day involved in a n00b rescue or recovery.

5. Boycott climbing gyms. This is a big sacrifice, I know. Especially if you live in an area without year-round outdoor climbing. But you know as well as I do that climbing gyms are the biggest producers of n00bs nowadays.

6. If you must use a climbing gym, refer to #4. In fact, feel free to be a dick to the n00bs you meet there. Make them feel unwelcome, perhaps even threatened. This attitude (called “localism” among surfers) is effective at keeping gumbies off the good surf breaks. We need to carry this attitude into climbing as well.

And remember kids, I cry myself to sleep every night!

Hehe, I'm new to this board. New to climbing. Hell, I'm even new to the internet. And despite my lack of experience with the afore mentioned, I still think the loudspoken little girl that started this thread is a bitch.

Go on home to mommy and daddy, and cry to someone who cares. We climb for the thrill, the challenge, and the journey up with freinds- not to impress arrogant pricks like "the_leech". E-thugs like that little girl only whine online because they won't get slapped in the face like they would if they said that shit to a "noob" like myself in person.

I wonder what kind of credit he's got to his name anyway? 38 posts is considered a "noob" on every other forum in the world. And no matter how much climbing experience you've got, there's always someone better. Of course, he is the one exception, because his "e-thuggin' 4 life" ego is so big that nobody else can fit on the wall.

Here's my interpretation of his "solutions" Wink

This little asshat climbs alone, hence soluting #1, because it reminds him of how lonely he is.

This maggot is so afraid that someone might ask him a question which he can't answer that he dedicated an entire number to the idea of removing intelligent questions from the forums, and that would be solution #2.

The little bitch that started this thread is doing his best to sound cool by trying to talk down to people better than himself (not to mention encouraging other members to be similarly e-thuggin') - Thats #3.

This smartass asks you to be a little whiny girl like himself, and bitch and moan to everyone you meet (I'll give you a hint- #4). Anyone wonder at this point if this guy has ever had any freinds to go climbing with?

The thread starter can't tie his shoes in public, much less climb within view of prying eyes (where people might see how bad he really is). Hell, that's if he's even set foot on a wall to begin with. So obviously, this would be why he wants experienced climbers to boycott gyms - then he can be all alone on the safe plastic wall with the mats on the ground! This one's #5, for those that haven't caught on.

And my favorite, #6. Be an ass to anyone who shares the same interests as you - maybe it will help you justify why you just got your ass beaten by a thirteen year old in climbing shoes.

This guy's logic is about as dull, bleak, and retarded as his life is. Feel free to e-thug me too buddy, but beware... I might eat your kids... Wink

And before anyone accuses me, I'm not a troll, my buddies posted some pictures on here that I came to check out. When I got a link to this thread, I couldn't help but throw my slaps in on this cat fight.

Now that I'm done typing this, I kind of wish I could get my five minutes back... I do feel a bit better knowing that when "the_leech" (dun dun dunnn!) gets to the end of this he'll ask to be reimbursed for the half hour it took for him to read it. My advice at this point is to save yourself the time of writing another post, Mr "leech", and instead use the time to go climb the hardest "route" you can (the ladder in your garage is probably a good bet), then jump off head first.


-GSR


(This post was edited by SubieKid on Apr 4, 2007, 7:57 PM)


drummergirl


Apr 4, 2007, 8:19 PM
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wow.


jt512


Apr 4, 2007, 9:00 PM
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SubieKid wrote:
the_leech wrote:
Blah blah blah, bitch, moan, blah, blah, blah-blah, whine, blah-blah, I think I'm special, blah, blah, girls dont like me, blah-blah, blah, I never got laid in high school, blah, blah, bitch and moan some more...

There’s a solution, people. Listen up.

1. Stop taking new people climbing. Maybe you do it to be nice, find new partners, or perhaps you just feel better about yourself if you climb with less-experienced people. I don’t care what the reason is. Knock it off! There are enough climbers here now, and plenty of partners to go around. Pull from the existing pool.

2. Ask rc.com to ban the Beginner’s Forum altogether. If that is not acceptable, the administrators should at least establish an auto-delete function for all thread titles that start with “How do I…” and “What shoes…” and other frequently used n00b titles.

3. Stop encouraging n00bs online. These online forums seem to be the primary way that gym n00bs develop the “experience” to venture outdoors. I know it’s our nature to be helpful, but this has to stop. Respond to all n00b questions with “STFU n00b!” That’s it. Say no more.

4. Carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go. If you see some n00b giving a bad belay or struggling up a route with poor technique, refrain from giving helpful advice. Let them struggle or drop their n00b partner. Cull the n00bs. That’s what this is all about. Just be sure to move away from them so you don’t have to waste your day involved in a n00b rescue or recovery.

5. Boycott climbing gyms. This is a big sacrifice, I know. Especially if you live in an area without year-round outdoor climbing. But you know as well as I do that climbing gyms are the biggest producers of n00bs nowadays.

6. If you must use a climbing gym, refer to #4. In fact, feel free to be a dick to the n00bs you meet there. Make them feel unwelcome, perhaps even threatened. This attitude (called “localism” among surfers) is effective at keeping gumbies off the good surf breaks. We need to carry this attitude into climbing as well.

And remember kids, I cry myself to sleep every night!

Hehe, I'm new to this board. New to climbing. Hell, I'm even new to the internet. And despite my lack of experience with the afore mentioned, I still think the loudspoken little girl that started this thread is a bitch.

Go on home to mommy and daddy, and cry to someone who cares. We climb for the thrill, the challenge, and the journey up with freinds- not to impress arrogant pricks like "the_leech". E-thugs like that little girl only whine online because they won't get slapped in the face like they would if they said that shit to a "noob" like myself in person.

I wonder what kind of credit he's got to his name anyway? 38 posts is considered a "noob" on every other forum in the world. And no matter how much climbing experience you've got, there's always someone better. Of course, he is the one exception, because his "e-thuggin' 4 life" ego is so big that nobody else can fit on the wall.

Here's my interpretation of his "solutions" Wink

This little asshat climbs alone, hence soluting #1, because it reminds him of how lonely he is.

This maggot is so afraid that someone might ask him a question which he can't answer that he dedicated an entire number to the idea of removing intelligent questions from the forums, and that would be solution #2.

The little bitch that started this thread is doing his best to sound cool by trying to talk down to people better than himself (not to mention encouraging other members to be similarly e-thuggin') - Thats #3.

This smartass asks you to be a little whiny girl like himself, and bitch and moan to everyone you meet (I'll give you a hint- #4). Anyone wonder at this point if this guy has ever had any freinds to go climbing with?

The thread starter can't tie his shoes in public, much less climb within view of prying eyes (where people might see how bad he really is). Hell, that's if he's even set foot on a wall to begin with. So obviously, this would be why he wants experienced climbers to boycott gyms - then he can be all alone on the safe plastic wall with the mats on the ground! This one's #5, for those that haven't caught on.

And my favorite, #6. Be an ass to anyone who shares the same interests as you - maybe it will help you justify why you just got your ass beaten by a thirteen year old in climbing shoes.

This guy's logic is about as dull, bleak, and retarded as his life is. Feel free to e-thug me too buddy, but beware... I might eat your kids... Wink

And before anyone accuses me, I'm not a troll, my buddies posted some pictures on here that I came to check out. When I got a link to this thread, I couldn't help but throw my slaps in on this cat fight.

Now that I'm done typing this, I kind of wish I could get my five minutes back... I do feel a bit better knowing that when "the_leech" (dun dun dunnn!) gets to the end of this he'll ask to be reimbursed for the half hour it took for him to read it. My advice at this point is to save yourself the time of writing another post, Mr "leech", and instead use the time to go climb the hardest "route" you can (the ladder in your garage is probably a good bet), then jump off head first.


-GSR

So, what's your other username on rc.com?

Jay


marinaaxid25


Apr 4, 2007, 9:01 PM
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I think SubieKid takes the trophy for this showdown.

Well-said! Wink


the_leech


Apr 4, 2007, 9:07 PM
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SubieKid wrote:
I am oversensitive, like a delicate little flower.

This certainly reignited a waning thread…

StupidKid, you’re either trolling, didn’t read the entire thread, or are a complete friggin’ idiot. My money is on the latter.

Maybe you and curtis_g should compete to see who is the biggest jackass. Actually, don’t bother. It wouldn’t even be fair. You’ve already won.

By the way, nice job with the thread title. I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Oh look, it worked!


SubieKid


Apr 4, 2007, 9:13 PM
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:D [In reply to]
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That's it? That's all you've got?

Wow, I overestimated your sorry ass. Go back to grade school kiddo, you're not even sharp enough spit out a clever insult.


knieveltech


Apr 4, 2007, 9:16 PM
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drummergirl wrote:
wow.

No doubt.


timstich


Apr 4, 2007, 9:44 PM
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girl_lostInVA wrote:

hmmm...I would probably come pre-salted from sweat so...that just might make me tastier

*sneaks away quietly*

Hmmmm. This somehow distracts me from the rest of the thread.


blowboarder


Apr 4, 2007, 11:11 PM
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this thread sucks and so does dingus for linking to it.

I'll take my five minutes back in beers, fucker.


Partner macherry


Apr 5, 2007, 7:40 AM
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SubieKid wrote:
And before anyone accuses me, I'm not a troll, my buddies posted some pictures on here that I came to check out. When I got a link to this thread, I couldn't help but throw my slaps in on this cat fight.



-GSR

weak


dingus


Apr 5, 2007, 7:43 AM
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blowboarder wrote:
this thread sucks and so does dingus for linking to it.

I'll take my five minutes back in beers, fucker.

Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!

DMT


robbovius


Apr 5, 2007, 7:53 AM
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SubieKid wrote:
That's it? That's all you've got?

Wow, I overestimated your sorry ass. Go back to grade school kiddo, you're not even sharp enough spit out a clever insult.

extra-weak.

obviously you're not sharp enough to realize that the OP was employing SARCASM to elicit humor.

further, by continually referring to the OP as female, as though being female is somehow shameful, you reveal yourself to be mind-numbingly immature, if not soul-crushingly so.

the seriousness with which you replied reveals as well, that, Dude, the OP trolled you, heavy. Pwned.


the_leech


Apr 5, 2007, 11:16 AM
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robbovius wrote:
extra-weak.

obviously you're not sharp enough to realize that the OP was employing SARCASM to elicit humor.

further, by continually referring to the OP as female, as though being female is somehow shameful, you reveal yourself to be mind-numbingly immature, if not soul-crushingly so.

the seriousness with which you replied reveals as well, that, Dude, the OP trolled you, heavy. Pwned.

Well said, robbovius.

Although I'd guess that StupidKid isn't as clueless and ignorant as he appears to be. He's likely just trolling. How lame is that?


moose_droppings


Apr 5, 2007, 11:42 AM
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Bump, for making the world a more smiley place.


caughtinside


Apr 5, 2007, 11:44 AM
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my hat is off to you, mr_leech. I'm always amazed and awed by an obvious and self-admitted troll, that cuts deep enough to the core to elicit an irate response anyway.

Well played sir, well played.


akicebum


Apr 5, 2007, 11:46 AM
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This site is essentially for "nOObs" or whatever you want to call them. There is alomost nothing to be gained from the forums on this site for anyone with any real experience. Furthermore, we were all new to climbing at one point. The advice shouted at me from neighboring belays was essential to my growth and in tempering my ego. Here are some suggestions for you:

1.Relax...climbing is about having fun. Only a true dickhead would say otherwise.

2.Either ignore nOOb posts or reply with good advice and move on. I hope your life doesn't circulate around rc.com

3.Yes, you can find some very annoying people at the crag, but they have as much right to be there as you do. Deal with it or walk an extra 20 minutes no self respecting sport climber will walk for more than 30 minutes to get to the crag (jk)

4.There are always going to be more nOObs, and for your mother's sake, you don't want them hurting themselves and making it on the new so rather than saying "fuck off nOOb" give sound advice or don't say anything.


jt512


Apr 5, 2007, 11:57 AM
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akicebum wrote:
This site is essentially for "nOObs" or whatever you want to call them.

It is for a broader class of climbers than just n00bs. It is also for climbers who have no sense of humor, and aren't intelligent enough to recognize a joke, even after it is repeatedly pointed out to them.

Jay


climbsomething


Apr 5, 2007, 12:10 PM
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SubieKid wrote:
Hehe, I'm new to this board. New to climbing. Hell, I'm even new to the internet.
Hehe, no shit.

In reply to:
I still think the loudspoken little girl that started this thread is a bitch.
Loudspoken? What kind of majid word is that?


robbovius


Apr 5, 2007, 12:11 PM
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the_leech wrote:
robbovius wrote:
extra-weak.

obviously you're not sharp enough to realize that the OP was employing SARCASM to elicit humor.

further, by continually referring to the OP as female, as though being female is somehow shameful, you reveal yourself to be mind-numbingly immature, if not soul-crushingly so.

the seriousness with which you replied reveals as well, that, Dude, the OP trolled you, heavy. Pwned.

Well said, robbovius.

Although I'd guess that StupidKid isn't as clueless and ignorant as he appears to be. He's likely just trolling. How lame is that?

well, during my reply I wondered whether or not I myself had been trolled, and thus pwned, but I found subeatthemeatkid's reply to lack that sarcastic absurdity which your OP has in spades.

see, your OP carries an air of self-aggrandizing arrogance that - to the experienced internet flamer, or really, anyone with half-a-watt of brain power - almost instantly renders the argunments into the realm of the absurd, adn thus should best be replied to with similar levels of absurdity, or, even greater and more obvious self deprecation.

subretardkid's reply, is far too harsh and macho-bullshit-laden to find that absurdist arrogance. It could siomply be, that, as he admitted, he's an internet n00b, which of course prompts the predictable,

SHUT THE FUCK UP, N00B!

further, it is the province of young/immature males to insult other males by referring to them as either female or ghey...a tired, overused, and weak flaming stratagem at best,. as well as being an insult to the many strong, intelligent, and lovely female climbers who frequent rc.com...

giving himself the kiss of death thereabouts, I'd wager.

still, it could be that' subiegofuckyourselfkid could be an evil genius and we've all been trrolled by his opaque subterfuge.

I submit though, that the evidence is strongest for the case of him being a benign retard.


robbovius


Apr 5, 2007, 12:12 PM
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jt512 wrote:
akicebum wrote:
This site is essentially for "nOObs" or whatever you want to call them.

It is for a broader class of climbers than just n00bs. It is also for climbers who have no sense of humor, and aren't intelligent enough to recognize a joke, even after it is repeatedly pointed out to them.

Jay

... and especially after that point is sharpened and they are repeatedly poked with it ;-)


lodi5onu


Apr 5, 2007, 12:19 PM
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i just looked at your profile pic and i think you're too old to use such profanities here
but your posts on this topic are otherwise generally clever and eloquent


climbsomething


Apr 5, 2007, 12:22 PM
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lodi5onu wrote:
i just looked at your profile pic and i think you're too old to use such profanities here
but your posts on this topic are otherwise generally clever and eloquent
A smart dude once said, "that is one articulate mother fucker"


shanz


Apr 5, 2007, 12:23 PM
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Guess im still a noob i learn something new almost every time i got out - 13 more days ill have been doing this two weeks


trenchdigger


Apr 5, 2007, 12:43 PM
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climbsomething wrote:
kixx wrote:

In fact I am encouraging everyone to crowd the pricks favorite climbs, throw ropes on their heads without warning, ask them annoying questions like "why don't you have any peetoons?", and even climb with them, because they hate climbing with people who don't share the same ideas.
Anybody who wants to even ask about my "peetoon" better buy me dinner first. Or at least a cranberry apple clif bar.
Nothing like a cheap date... Is a black cherry almond clif bar ok?


dingus


Apr 5, 2007, 12:50 PM
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If subiekid is a troll he's taking things to a whole new level.

Soon he'll be a rockstar if he keeps it up.

DMT


billcoe_


Apr 5, 2007, 12:56 PM
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the_leech wrote:
....I'd guess that StupidKid isn't as clueless and ignorant as he appears to be. He's likely just trolling. How lame is that?

OMFG!!! Thats some funny stuff dude. I was eating my lunch (corn) - I think I blew some corn through my nose.


coach_kyle


Apr 5, 2007, 1:03 PM
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I don't know about you, but I sent a 5.12c three hours after squirting out of my mom and getting smacked by the doctor.I was NEVER a n00b.


bjorn


Apr 5, 2007, 1:14 PM
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yea i agree subiekid must be a troll. i mean....why else would he drive a WRX. i also agree with LEECH. people that are new to climbing NEED to stop climbing. furthermore, i think all jews should die, all arabs are terrorists, all mexicans need to go home, all white people should put on white masks and burn crosses, all black people should pick cotton and i mean i have alot of other things im upset about also. Discrimination is key, we need to make others feel unwelcome, we need to make others feel lower than ourselves......im mean gosh the word LEECH in the dictionary did recently have its definition changed to discrimnating bastard i guess you guys didnt know that. well w/e white pride! black Panthers! Viva la Resistance! and NOOBS no more climbing on my houses and stealing my cable.

You all dont understand what its like. you see, people like "The LEECH" and myself look down upon others because we are being looked down upon. we live in a haze of ignorance. you all need to join us and understand THIS IS HOW IT MUST BE. LEECH....will you marry me you are my hero......go to www.LEECH.you.are.retarded.but.youaremyfriend.com i made you a website.


bbentley77


Apr 5, 2007, 1:51 PM
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In reply to:
Subiekid: Go on home to mommy and daddy, and cry to someone who cares. We climb for the thrill, the challenge, and the journey up with freinds- not to impress arrogant pricks like "the_leech". E-thugs like that little girl only whine online because they won't get slapped in the face like they would if they said that shit to a "noob" like myself in person.


This thread is AWESOME!!! SlySlySly LONG LIVE THE LEECH!!! SlySlySly

Ya know Subiekid, the leech is 6'2", 240lb, shredded, a master at gung fu, and eats n00bs like you for breakfast!


(This post was edited by bbentley77 on Apr 5, 2007, 1:58 PM)


Partner macherry


Apr 5, 2007, 4:25 PM
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climbsomething wrote:
lodi5onu wrote:
i just looked at your profile pic and i think you're too old to use such profanities here
but your posts on this topic are otherwise generally clever and eloquent
A smart dude once said, "that is one articulate mother fucker"

heh heh


the_leech


Apr 5, 2007, 7:16 PM
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dingus wrote:
If subiekid is a troll he's taking things to a whole new level.

Soon he'll be a rockstar if he keeps it up.

DMT

The important thing about trolls is to make sure you don't bite their hook. Otherwise, they win.


MaxDWolf


Apr 6, 2007, 1:45 PM
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girl_lostInVA wrote:
caughtinside wrote:
now, in theory, I agree with you. however, I really need to introduce more hot chicks to climbing.

you should definitely have a special exemption for attractive girls and hot chick noobs...always take them climbing Laugh

Yeah, because I don't get rejected by enough hotties in town, I need them to follow me out to the rocks to laugh at me.

Not to mention that I need the distraction while I climb those boring routes.

Final words;" Man! what a nice raAAAAAHHHH..."


microbarn


Apr 6, 2007, 2:33 PM
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bjorn wrote:
yea i agree subiekid must be a troll. i mean....why else would he drive a WRX. i also agree with LEECH. people that are new to climbing NEED to stop climbing. furthermore, i think all jews should die, all arabs are terrorists, all mexicans need to go home, all white people should put on white masks and burn crosses, all black people should pick cotton and i mean i have alot of other things im upset about also. Discrimination is key, we need to make others feel unwelcome, we need to make others feel lower than ourselves......im mean gosh the word LEECH in the dictionary did recently have its definition changed to discrimnating bastard i guess you guys didnt know that. well w/e white pride! black Panthers! Viva la Resistance! and NOOBS no more climbing on my houses and stealing my cable.

You all dont understand what its like. you see, people like "The LEECH" and myself look down upon others because we are being looked down upon. we live in a haze of ignorance. you all need to join us and understand THIS IS HOW IT MUST BE. LEECH....will you marry me you are my hero......go to www.LEECH.you.are.retarded.but.youaremyfriend.com i made you a website.

I just didn't want this to be lost.


shanz


Apr 6, 2007, 3:59 PM
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All trolling aside - i enjoy taking noobs climbing albiet i end up being a belay anchor - i enjoy teaching them and learning from them(yes you can learn). Not to mention id rather have show em what i know rather than have to carry them out (really kills a good day of climbing). Of course this usually happens when im out of certain party favors.


bent_gate


Apr 6, 2007, 4:38 PM
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bbentley77 wrote:
In reply to:
Subiekid: Go on home to mommy and daddy, and cry to someone who cares. We climb for the thrill, the challenge, and the journey up with freinds- not to impress arrogant pricks like "the_leech". E-thugs like that little girl only whine online because they won't get slapped in the face like they would if they said that shit to a "noob" like myself in person.

This thread is AWESOME!!! SlySlySly LONG LIVE THE LEECH!!! SlySlySly

Ya know Subiekid, the leech is 6'2", 240lb, shredded, a master at gung fu, and eats n00bs like you for breakfast!

That's right Stubiekid, The Leech is not one to be trifled with. He's also trained with Chuck Norris, (and that was long before Gabe Walker tried to make this same claim). He’s got chunks of guys like you in his stool!

We were sitting around the campfire last night going round the circle sharing our experiences and stories about him:
“He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.”

“We once had a bachelor party for The Leech. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.”

“I once saw him scissor-kick Angela Lansbury…”

We sat in silence and opened another beer…

“The Leech is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.”

“He uses live elk for toilet paper.”

“He ordered a Big Mac at Burger King… and got one.”

We solemnly put another log on the fire…

“The Leech grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.”

“I once saw him slam a revolving door.”

“I heard he invented the Cleveland Steamer.”

So we proposed a toast to The Leech. To that bold man who invented the internet… just so he would have a place to store his porn.


So you can go ahead and mess with him, but do so at your own risk. Wink


Partner drector


Apr 6, 2007, 4:57 PM
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bbentley77 wrote:
...and eats n00bs ... for breakfast!

That's a little gross. I'd think that the weak and tender nature of a n00b would give one the runs. Ick.


climbsomething


Apr 6, 2007, 5:01 PM
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drector wrote:
bbentley77 wrote:
...and eats n00bs ... for breakfast!

That's a little gross. I'd think that the weak and tender nature of a n00b would give one the runs. Ick.
But the old grizzlies are so chewy and stringy. They'd have to be marinated for like, two days.


Partner drector


Apr 6, 2007, 5:09 PM
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climbsomething wrote:
drector wrote:
bbentley77 wrote:
...and eats n00bs ... for breakfast!

That's a little gross. I'd think that the weak and tender nature of a n00b would give one the runs. Ick.
But the old grizzlies are so chewy and stringy. They'd have to be marinated for like, two days.

I hear that many of them come self-marinated.

I guess if I were high on a wall and starving, I'd eat a n00b. It's unfortunate that the ones you find there have likely been dead for a long time and long forgotten. Still, better than starvation.


climbsomething


Apr 6, 2007, 5:13 PM
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drector wrote:
climbsomething wrote:
drector wrote:
bbentley77 wrote:
...and eats n00bs ... for breakfast!

That's a little gross. I'd think that the weak and tender nature of a n00b would give one the runs. Ick.
But the old grizzlies are so chewy and stringy. They'd have to be marinated for like, two days.

I hear that many of them come self-marinated.
Zing!

.......



Sly


cuchulainn1856


Apr 6, 2007, 6:27 PM
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god, leech is an ass. what if sum1 did that to you when u were a little n00b. if i'm climbing and i see you, im unclipping ur belay... Sly


iceravines


Apr 6, 2007, 7:03 PM
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This has been the best entertainment I have ever seen and read! ***** a 5 star rating and a demand for a repeat performance!!! What a thread !


dharmatreez


Apr 7, 2007, 8:10 AM
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bent_gate wrote:
To that bold man who invented the internet… just so he would have a place to store his porn.
Wink

ah ha... that is why Al Gore invented it!

SWEEET

Sly

jae


the_leech


Apr 7, 2007, 6:22 PM
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bent_gate wrote:
That's right Stubiekid, The Leech is not one to be trifled with. He's also trained with Chuck Norris, (and that was long before Gabe Walker tried to make this same claim). He’s got chunks of guys like you in his stool!

We were sitting around the campfire last night going round the circle sharing our experiences and stories about him:
“He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.”

“We once had a bachelor party for The Leech. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.”

“I once saw him scissor-kick Angela Lansbury…”

We sat in silence and opened another beer…

“The Leech is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.”

“He uses live elk for toilet paper.”

“He ordered a Big Mac at Burger King… and got one.”

We solemnly put another log on the fire…

“The Leech grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.”

“I once saw him slam a revolving door.”

“I heard he invented the Cleveland Steamer.”

So we proposed a toast to The Leech. To that bold man who invented the internet… just so he would have a place to store his porn.

So you can go ahead and mess with him, but do so at your own risk. Wink


Beautiful... Just beautiful!

On that note, I think it’s about time that this thread comes to a close. It’s had a good run. But even a bottle of fine wine will taste like vinegar after it sits out too long.

I can’t tell you how happy I am that my ideas were supported by so many. This was an excellent discussion, with a plethora of wonderful and unexpected suggestions offered up by you all.

I wish I could thank each of you individually for your contributions, but alas, it would take a whole other page to accomplish that. Suffice it to say, I read and enjoyed each and every reply. You all touched me in your own special way. I can tell that most of you genuinely care about this issue.

As for my detractors, I value your opinions, as misguided as they may be. I’m heartened by the thought that your misguided beliefs are likely just a temporary condition. Remember how abolitionism was received when first proposed? This is no different. We will continue to grow as climbers and humans, and eventually we will all accept a common truth.

For those who said I was just trolling, I can see how you could think that. I kept a sense of humor in this thread. At times, I was even a little sarcastic. Nevertheless, the continued encroachment of n00bs is a serious problem that we need to address. I hope my occasional humor didn’t minimize the severity of this problem.

I’ll be gone for a few days now. I’ll be sport climbing in the Alabama Hills (clipping bolts... how n00bish of me, don’t you think?).

Anyway, I have some other ideas that I’d like to share down the road. Watch for a thread titled “Why women climb” by the_leech. It’s coming soon to a forum near you.

Until then, I wish you well. Remember to fight the good fight. And please, carry the attitude of discouragement wherever you go.


climbsomething


Apr 7, 2007, 6:39 PM
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the_leech wrote:
Watch for a thread titled “Why women climb” by the_leech.
Well, our boyfriends can't belay themselves. And summit jerkoff is totally not as good as summit nookie.

OMG, are those pink climbing shoes?


jt512


Apr 7, 2007, 10:13 PM
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the_leech wrote:
I’ll be gone for a few days now. I’ll be sport climbing in the Alabama Hills (clipping bolts... how n00bish of me, don’t you think?).

There's nothing n00bish about clipping bolts. Sport climbing was invented by elite trad climbers, after all. But the ALABAMA HILLS? I'm, like, so embarrassed for you!

Jay

(This post was edited by jt512 on Apr 7, 2007, 10:14 PM)


socalclimber


Apr 8, 2007, 8:45 AM
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"But the ALABAMA HILLS? I'm, like, so embarrassed for you! "

HEY! I put up some of those routes... Sez allot doesn't it....


jt512


Apr 8, 2007, 12:00 PM
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socalclimber wrote:
"But the ALABAMA HILLS? I'm, like, so embarrassed for you! "

HEY! I put up some of those routes... Sez allot doesn't it....

At least you have real rock there. You should see the choss that Brent and I have been climbing on lately.

Jay


Partner robdotcalm


Apr 10, 2007, 9:40 AM
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Re: [the_leech] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Being well into geezerhood, I’m used to receiving advertisements from financial institutions touting how good their products are for geezers. Usually they show a picture of a couple in their late 50s golfing, on a cruise ship, or dancing the Viagra Waltz. But it’s now changed. Here’s the opening of Martha Hamilton’s nationally distributed column in which she wrote about medical expenses and the aged

“How do you envision retirement? Rock-climbing on weekdays, minus the weekend crowds?”

[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/31/AR2007033100062.html?sub=new]


N00bs be gone! Demography is destiny. Thousands of baby boomers retire each week and will be crowding the cliffs everywhere. There will be no room for n00bs at the crags on any day of the week. The notion of having to cull n00bs is so ten-minutes ago. I hope leech doesn’t get into culling the geezers. It would be his demise. We haven’t survived this long without the knowledge of how to dispense with upstarts.

Cheers,
Rob.calm


caughtinside


Aug 11, 2009, 1:33 PM
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bumping this classic.


MikeSaint


Aug 11, 2009, 2:42 PM
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You people sure this has nothing to do with race?


rockandlice


Aug 11, 2009, 4:16 PM
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MikeSaint wrote:
You people sure this has nothing to do with race?

What do you mean "You People"!!!????


knieveltech


Aug 11, 2009, 4:16 PM
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MikeSaint wrote:
You people sure this has nothing to do with race?

Hush up, cracker,


bill413


Aug 12, 2009, 5:52 AM
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MikeSaint wrote:
You people sure this has nothing to do with race?

Racing? You mean speed climbing?


dorienc


Aug 18, 2009, 6:39 PM
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tigerlilly wrote:
Ha! You'll never get rid of us, you elitest pigs! We're going to multiply like rabbits and take over every half decent line on the planet, even though we can't climb them. We'll sport our Patagucci clothes, harnesses with 16 gear loops (and one biner), and force our feet into the most expensive shoes we can find because.....because we can! And we think it makes us look like the cool kids. Beware! The nOObs are here to stay!

Bwwwaaaahhahahahahaha!


Kathy Wink

I'm with you, Tiger! n00bs rule! (I can hang with you cool n00bs, right?) Uh, I only have 1 gear loop, but 16 biners hanging from it. And have most of my rack jangling on the outside of my Dumpster to show I'm A Climber. That's the correct way, right?


snoopy138


Aug 18, 2009, 7:38 PM
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caughtinside wrote:
bumping this classic.

Nice to see the late P_T on the first page there.


bsyed


Aug 18, 2009, 8:04 PM
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Its a matter of proper education, if maybe you take the time to climb with the n00bs more, get them involved in the community and start them on proper courses we wouldnt have these problems, espcially ones regarding safety.

The "n00bs" are the future of climbing after you dead and gone, teach them properly.


sungam


Aug 18, 2009, 8:13 PM
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CI, I want you to know that in the highly unlikely case that I find myself at your place of residence, I'm going to take a massi dump in your toilet cistern, so your house stinks and every time you flush shit water comes out.
Best of luck.


caughtinside


Aug 18, 2009, 8:17 PM
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sungam wrote:
CI, I want you to know that in the highly unlikely case that I find myself at your place of residence, I'm going to take a massi dump in your toilet cistern, so your house stinks and every time you flush shit water comes out.
Best of luck.

cistern? are you from scotland or something? We call that Top Shelfing in America you poor bastard!

My taint tingles with fear.


sungam


Aug 18, 2009, 8:25 PM
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caughtinside wrote:
sungam wrote:
CI, I want you to know that in the highly unlikely case that I find myself at your place of residence, I'm going to take a massi dump in your toilet cistern, so your house stinks and every time you flush shit water comes out.
Best of luck.

cistern? are you from scotland or something? We call that Top Shelfing in America you poor bastard!

My taint tingles with fear.
We call it upper decking, but I wanted to be more descriptive, I thought it would make it more drawn out and scary sounding...


caughtinside


Aug 18, 2009, 8:27 PM
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sungam wrote:
caughtinside wrote:
sungam wrote:
CI, I want you to know that in the highly unlikely case that I find myself at your place of residence, I'm going to take a massi dump in your toilet cistern, so your house stinks and every time you flush shit water comes out.
Best of luck.

cistern? are you from scotland or something? We call that Top Shelfing in America you poor bastard!

My taint tingles with fear.
We call it upper decking, but I wanted to be more descriptive, I thought it would make it more drawn out and scary sounding...

when you say cistern you sound like an old woman with a cockney accent. I fear you not old crone!


jt512


Aug 18, 2009, 8:38 PM
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bsyed wrote:
The "n00bs" are the future of climbing after you dead and gone....

Then that's their problem.

Jay


sungam


Aug 18, 2009, 8:54 PM
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caughtinside wrote:
sungam wrote:
caughtinside wrote:
sungam wrote:
CI, I want you to know that in the highly unlikely case that I find myself at your place of residence, I'm going to take a massi dump in your toilet cistern, so your house stinks and every time you flush shit water comes out.
Best of luck.

cistern? are you from scotland or something? We call that Top Shelfing in America you poor bastard!

My taint tingles with fear.
We call it upper decking, but I wanted to be more descriptive, I thought it would make it more drawn out and scary sounding...

when you say cistern you sound like an old woman with a cockney accent. I fear you not old crone!
DAMNZ!
Now to quickly make an image to make CI look like a fewl!




Partner dominic7


Aug 18, 2009, 8:57 PM
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Power_Tie wrote:
wow, what a very poor and dangerous attitude you have. I hope you get help for that.

Ha! Power_Tie!


the_leech


Aug 18, 2009, 10:22 PM
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sungam wrote:
caughtinside wrote:
sungam wrote:
CI, I want you to know that in the highly unlikely case that I find myself at your place of residence, I'm going to take a massi dump in your toilet cistern, so your house stinks and every time you flush shit water comes out.
Best of luck.

cistern? are you from scotland or something? We call that Top Shelfing in America you poor bastard!

My taint tingles with fear.
We call it upper decking, but I wanted to be more descriptive, I thought it would make it more drawn out and scary sounding...

"Upper decking" for sure. That's what I always called it here in the U.S. "Top shelfing" sounds like something a Brit would say, even though I think CI is from SoCal.

And thanks for the props, CI. I almost forgot about this thread. Reading through all those ignorant and misguided responses makes me want to start writing again. There's a lot I could teach these people, if only they would listen.


rainman0915


Aug 18, 2009, 10:25 PM
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snoopy138


Aug 19, 2009, 9:26 AM
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dominic7 wrote:
Power_Tie wrote:
wow, what a very poor and dangerous attitude you have. I hope you get help for that.

Ha! Power_Tie!

Ha! GUd!


climbingtrash


Aug 13, 2011, 8:27 PM
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Ah haven't been back to this gem in a while. Let's give it a bump shall we.


Partner philbox
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Aug 14, 2011, 1:46 AM
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Moved to scumunity.


climbingtrash


Aug 14, 2011, 8:46 AM
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philbox wrote:
Moved to scumunity.

and rightly so


ecade


Sep 1, 2011, 11:14 AM
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Just out of curiousity,

were you born knowing how to climb, how to place pro, how to build anchors, how to clip fixed pro, etc...?

If so you are an anomoly not the norm. you were a N00B Never forget that, when people speak of climbers as being illogical fools, I think they are speaking of your kind.

Oh so many great ways to refute your point and show how illogical your post is, it would be infuriating if it were not for that your existence is most likely insignificant to anyone elses hence your angst against what you once were, what everyone on this forum once was, because no one is the anomaly, everyone had to learn somewhere somehow.


I promise you this:
Someone some 8 years ago took me climbing, was the best thing they ever did for me, when I asked how I can pay them back for it, I was told to pay it forward and I have done my best to do this ever since. I have invested time and money to learn this sport and I have done my best to learn everything i can from others, but i am most certainly still learning. There is a safe way to help NOOBs, and a way to do it with class such that you still have your climbs and they have theirs. If you do it right, you will find it works, why? because a good teacher is able to impart logical reasons for why certain crags are for example beyond the abilities of a n00b and why they should be avoided by n00bs.

Perhaps its your location, but where I am we don't have a lot of rock but we have areas where N00Bs feel comfortable, areas where hardcores are at home and places in the middle for persons like me. And i live in ONTARIO!!! So you have to have better climbing than me unless you live in Nebraska or Saskatchewan.

Perhaps you just can't climb as well as noobs, and as such have to climb the same routes as noobs, perhaps you were just pissed for some reason when you wrote this. Either way, know that I am an enemy of your philosophy, your nemesis, I have a fair bit of time and money and I will continue to use my resources to challenge your mentality and help n00bs.

Everyone who wants to, should be given the opportunity to climb. Who knows its a personal sport but what I know is what it did for me, and how I could ever deny another human being that same life changing opportunity is evil, pure and utter greedy evil.

May you one day learn to smile from within and find a love for everyone and everything, until then Safe Climbing and when that happens, I know yo uwill have Happy Climbing.

Cheers


dr_feelgood


Sep 1, 2011, 12:21 PM
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ecade wrote:
Just out of curiousity,

were you born knowing how to climb, how to place pro, how to build anchors, how to clip fixed pro, etc...?

If so you are an anomoly not the norm. you were a N00B Never forget that, when people speak of climbers as being illogical fools, I think they are speaking of your kind.

Oh so many great ways to refute your point and show how illogical your post is, it would be infuriating if it were not for that your existence is most likely insignificant to anyone elses hence your angst against what you once were, what everyone on this forum once was, because no one is the anomaly, everyone had to learn somewhere somehow.


I promise you this:
Someone some 8 years ago took me climbing, was the best thing they ever did for me, when I asked how I can pay them back for it, I was told to pay it forward and I have done my best to do this ever since. I have invested time and money to learn this sport and I have done my best to learn everything i can from others, but i am most certainly still learning. There is a safe way to help NOOBs, and a way to do it with class such that you still have your climbs and they have theirs. If you do it right, you will find it works, why? because a good teacher is able to impart logical reasons for why certain crags are for example beyond the abilities of a n00b and why they should be avoided by n00bs.

Perhaps its your location, but where I am we don't have a lot of rock but we have areas where N00Bs feel comfortable, areas where hardcores are at home and places in the middle for persons like me. And i live in ONTARIO!!! So you have to have better climbing than me unless you live in Nebraska or Saskatchewan.

Perhaps you just can't climb as well as noobs, and as such have to climb the same routes as noobs, perhaps you were just pissed for some reason when you wrote this. Either way, know that I am an enemy of your philosophy, your nemesis, I have a fair bit of time and money and I will continue to use my resources to challenge your mentality and help n00bs.

Everyone who wants to, should be given the opportunity to climb. Who knows its a personal sport but what I know is what it did for me, and how I could ever deny another human being that same life changing opportunity is evil, pure and utter greedy evil.

May you one day learn to smile from within and find a love for everyone and everything, until then Safe Climbing and when that happens, I know yo uwill have Happy Climbing.

Cheers

chill out and do a beer, man


Diphthong


Sep 1, 2011, 12:57 PM
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ecade wrote:
Someone some 8 years ago took me climbing...



I have invested time and money to learn this sport and I have done my best to learn everything i can from others, but i am most certainly still learning.

I believe that is what they call a Poor ROI.
Attachments: noob.JPG (32.9 KB)


ecade


Sep 1, 2011, 1:44 PM
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If you wish me to defend myself from you, I won't, I will only say that I have only recently started leading and I never recorded top rope ascents because I never took my 8 years of top roping seriously, it was only the past ~6months of leading that I list.

If you wish me to go on the offensive against you, I won't

I will only say that the sport is personal and for me, I'm proud of my log, it does require a few updates but eh, as said above I have no need to really defend myself and so I will not update it. But you've given me that extra bit of fuel and I now am more excited than a fewinutes ago for my weekend trip and after that, whether or not I climb well or not, I'll still be proud of whatever i do.

Enjoy your long weekend and call me all the names you like, i am a stubborn ass who will do, as always, as he see's right.

K couldnt help myself, one thing somewhat on the offensive i will say:
Having reviewed your ascent log, you are clearly G-Ds gift to climbing, please advise the ground you walk on so I may worship it. One ascent, onsight 5.12! Congrats.


Diphthong


Sep 1, 2011, 1:56 PM
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ecade wrote:
If you wish me to defend myself from you, I won't, I will only say that I have only recently started leading and I never recorded top rope ascents because I never took my 8 years of top roping seriously, it was only the past ~6months of leading that I list.

If you wish me to go on the offensive against you, I won't

I will only say that the sport is personal and for me, I'm proud of my log, it does require a few updates but eh, as said above I have no need to really defend myself and so I will not update it. But you've given me that extra bit of fuel and I now am more excited than a fewinutes ago for my weekend trip and after that, whether or not I climb well or not, I'll still be proud of whatever i do.

Enjoy your long weekend and call me all the names you like, i am a stubborn ass who will do, as always, as he see's right.

K couldnt help myself, one thing somewhat on the offensive i will say:
Having reviewed your ascent log, you are clearly G-Ds gift to climbing, please advise the ground you walk on so I may worship it. One ascent, onsight 5.12! Congrats.

You're French Canadian, aren't you.


climbingtrash


Sep 1, 2011, 3:30 PM
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Diphthong wrote:
ecade wrote:
If you wish me to defend myself from you, I won't, I will only say that I have only recently started leading and I never recorded top rope ascents because I never took my 8 years of top roping seriously, it was only the past ~6months of leading that I list.

If you wish me to go on the offensive against you, I won't

I will only say that the sport is personal and for me, I'm proud of my log, it does require a few updates but eh, as said above I have no need to really defend myself and so I will not update it. But you've given me that extra bit of fuel and I now am more excited than a fewinutes ago for my weekend trip and after that, whether or not I climb well or not, I'll still be proud of whatever i do.

Enjoy your long weekend and call me all the names you like, i am a stubborn ass who will do, as always, as he see's right.

K couldnt help myself, one thing somewhat on the offensive i will say:
Having reviewed your ascent log, you are clearly G-Ds gift to climbing, please advise the ground you walk on so I may worship it. One ascent, onsight 5.12! Congrats.

You're French Canadian, aren't you.

Name caller.


Toast_in_the_Machine


Sep 2, 2011, 4:55 AM
Post #202 of 206 (621 views)
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Re: [climbingtrash] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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climbingtrash wrote:
Diphthong wrote:
ecade wrote:
If you wish me to defend myself from you, I won't, I will only say that I have only recently started leading and I never recorded top rope ascents because I never took my 8 years of top roping seriously, it was only the past ~6months of leading that I list.

If you wish me to go on the offensive against you, I won't

I will only say that the sport is personal and for me, I'm proud of my log, it does require a few updates but eh, as said above I have no need to really defend myself and so I will not update it. But you've given me that extra bit of fuel and I now am more excited than a fewinutes ago for my weekend trip and after that, whether or not I climb well or not, I'll still be proud of whatever i do.

Enjoy your long weekend and call me all the names you like, i am a stubborn ass who will do, as always, as he see's right.

K couldnt help myself, one thing somewhat on the offensive i will say:
Having reviewed your ascent log, you are clearly G-Ds gift to climbing, please advise the ground you walk on so I may worship it. One ascent, onsight 5.12! Congrats.

You're French Canadian, aren't you.

Name caller.

PTFTW misser


climbingtrash


Sep 2, 2011, 6:15 AM
Post #203 of 206 (617 views)
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Registered: Jan 19, 2006
Posts: 4822

Re: [Toast_in_the_Machine] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Toast_in_the_Machine wrote:
climbingtrash wrote:
Diphthong wrote:
ecade wrote:
If you wish me to defend myself from you, I won't, I will only say that I have only recently started leading and I never recorded top rope ascents because I never took my 8 years of top roping seriously, it was only the past ~6months of leading that I list.

If you wish me to go on the offensive against you, I won't

I will only say that the sport is personal and for me, I'm proud of my log, it does require a few updates but eh, as said above I have no need to really defend myself and so I will not update it. But you've given me that extra bit of fuel and I now am more excited than a fewinutes ago for my weekend trip and after that, whether or not I climb well or not, I'll still be proud of whatever i do.

Enjoy your long weekend and call me all the names you like, i am a stubborn ass who will do, as always, as he see's right.

K couldnt help myself, one thing somewhat on the offensive i will say:
Having reviewed your ascent log, you are clearly G-Ds gift to climbing, please advise the ground you walk on so I may worship it. One ascent, onsight 5.12! Congrats.

You're French Canadian, aren't you.

Name caller.

PTFTW misser

Back the truck up! How did i miss that?!?


Kartessa


Sep 5, 2011, 9:51 AM
Post #204 of 206 (581 views)
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Registered: Nov 17, 2008
Posts: 7358

Re: [ecade] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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ecade wrote:
K couldnt help myself, one thing somewhat on the offensive i will say:
Having reviewed your ascent log, you are clearly G-Ds gift to climbing, please advise the ground you walk on so I may worship it. One ascent, onsight 5.12! Congrats.

Why the hell am I getting pulled into this?!


erisspirit


Sep 6, 2011, 1:24 PM
Post #205 of 206 (544 views)
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Registered: Dec 14, 2004
Posts: 3766

Re: [Kartessa] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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Kartessa wrote:
ecade wrote:
K couldnt help myself, one thing somewhat on the offensive i will say:
Having reviewed your ascent log, you are clearly G-Ds gift to climbing, please advise the ground you walk on so I may worship it. One ascent, onsight 5.12! Congrats.

Why the hell am I getting pulled into this?!

it's because you are canadian


Kartessa


Sep 6, 2011, 2:40 PM
Post #206 of 206 (530 views)
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Registered: Nov 17, 2008
Posts: 7358

Re: [erisspirit] The n00bs must be culled [In reply to]
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erisspirit wrote:
Kartessa wrote:
ecade wrote:
K couldnt help myself, one thing somewhat on the offensive i will say:
Having reviewed your ascent log, you are clearly G-Ds gift to climbing, please advise the ground you walk on so I may worship it. One ascent, onsight 5.12! Congrats.

Why the hell am I getting pulled into this?!

it's because you are canadian

Just goes to show that its always about me Cool


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