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clee03m


Mar 11, 2011, 9:50 AM
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realities of motherhood for one (ex?) climber
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I had a simple plan. Now that I had my career set, I was going to have a baby. I would climb all the way through pregnancy, alternate taking my baby climbing and leaving him at home with his father. Sure, I can see needing to cut back a bit, but hopefully not much.

My son is a year old now, and the reality looks nothing like what I had envisioned. I work over 65 hours a week, and when I have free time, I just want to spend it with my son. I still don't feel comfortable with the idea of taking him along because I am more than paranoid about safety (gear fall, rock fall, ledge fall, etc). I want to make my time with him to really count because I feel like we barely have enough, and I don't think climbing is how I would achieve that. I have a really hard time just going to the gym. I find myself looking at the clock wishing I was home with my baby.

But the crazy thing is that I feel so happy when I am with my son, I don't feel deprived. But I can't help feeling a bit like my life isn't very balanced. Should I just enjoy my son for now and don't think too much, or will not having balance lead to an eventual blow up in my face or make me unhappy? Thoughts? Advise?


boadman


Mar 11, 2011, 12:01 PM
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clee03m wrote:
I had a simple plan. Now that I had my career set, I was going to have a baby. I would climb all the way through pregnancy, alternate taking my baby climbing and leaving him at home with his father. Sure, I can see needing to cut back a bit, but hopefully not much.

My son is a year old now, and the reality looks nothing like what I had envisioned. I work over 65 hours a week, and when I have free time, I just want to spend it with my son. I still don't feel comfortable with the idea of taking him along because I am more than paranoid about safety (gear fall, rock fall, ledge fall, etc). I want to make my time with him to really count because I feel like we barely have enough, and I don't think climbing is how I would achieve that. I have a really hard time just going to the gym. I find myself looking at the clock wishing I was home with my baby.

But the crazy thing is that I feel so happy when I am with my son, I don't feel deprived. But I can't help feeling a bit like my life isn't very balanced. Should I just enjoy my son for now and don't think too much, or will not having balance lead to an eventual blow up in my face or make me unhappy? Thoughts? Advise?

I had a similar experience, except not nearly as extreme, I still have a pretty strong desire to get out climbing, but if I don't spend enough time with the kids I definitely start to miss them. My solution was to take a much more relaxed job for slightly less pay where I only work 90%, and the hours are flexible. I probably only work about 55% of the hours you work, which gives me a lot more time to hang out with the family and also climb.

Priorities definitely change after kids though, unless you have coal for a heart. :-)

Just wait till you have two and you're actually busy.


lena_chita
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Mar 11, 2011, 1:08 PM
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I am glad you wrote this. I think this is what people have been trying to say to you before, but some things have to be experienced first-hand.


If you are happy, then why second-guess your current arrangement? When you start feeling like something is missing, you can rearrange and rebalance things. The motivation to climb, train, etc. goes up and down over time for various reasons. If you climb long enough, you will see the ebb and flow, and it is only too understandable that right now you have other priorities.

Forcing yourself to climb when you really want to do something else -- WHY? It is not your job, it is meant to be enjoyable. The rock would still be there when you come back to it, and I am sure you would, because it is not just a passing fancy for you, you have been climbing for many years, and you have been passionate about it in the past, so things will come full circle again.

Trying to include a specific activity in your life, just for the sake of balance, is not going to make anyone happy.
That would be like me saying that you know, I should really start going to the knitting circle at the library, just to make my life more balanced, even though I'd rather do other things right now. Wink

There was the time in my life when i would have LOVED the idea of a knitting circle at the library, and would have gone there a lot, every chance I've got. And I still enjoy knitting. But it is lower priority than other things, so no knitting circles for now, until I start feeling so desperately in need of some knitting buddies that I would be willing to give up something else to do it. And time with kids is definitely not what I am giving up for knitting! Though my daughter is very interested in knitting, she just learned to crochet, and so it is entirely possible that at some point I would find myself in the library knitting circle-- with my daugher at my side.



It is an often-repeated platitude, but kids do grow up faster than you think. Heck, I can't believe T, is 1yo already! His needs, schedule, etc. etc. will keep changing in the next years, and you will be changing and adapting with him. There is really no telling what things would be like for you in 3 years.


lena_chita
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Mar 11, 2011, 1:14 PM
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Also, think about the larger picture of what attracted you to climbing in the first place, and what parts of it are you eager to share with your child. Things that are related in some way, but more appropriate, or easier to do with a young child, things that you coud be doing together.

Introduce him to the joy of great outdoors this spring and summer. Go on short hikes, dig in the dirt, pick interesting pebbles, look for pretty leaves, etc. etc. Maybe go on a camping trip with couple other families -- just a camping trip, not camping while climbing... it will get him used to being in situations you are likely to encounter while going climbng, and it will get you more comfortable and more relaxed about the whole thing, but in the meantime, you would be spending time together, and I am sure he would love it.


Have you been able to meet and make friends with other climbers who are also parents? Having company makes a big difference. If you have other parents who are in the same situation, they are more likely to understand your concerns, you might be more likely to trust another Mom to watch your child while you climb, and just being able to talk to someone who really knows what's it like being in your shoes might be the motivation that would get both you and the other parent back into climbing. It is definitely possible to bring a young climd climbing with you and keep him safe, so if safety is your main concern, then work though those concerns one by one, and figure out how to address them, looking at it objectively and rationally, instead of going with the gut-level paranoia.


Is there a place within an hour or two of where you are, something that has some small boulders, maybe? A place like metroparks, where you could go for a hike and maybe, just maybe, if there are other people around bouldering, you woud feel that stir and the desire to climb?


enigma


Mar 11, 2011, 2:36 PM
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You can take a break from climbing, and come back to it when you are ready. I have.
You might have to go down a grade or two intially but as long as you remain healthy and motivated you will be fine. You can work back up .
It sounds like you are torn, if you really want to climb now, get a babysitter.
Good Luck


smallclimber


Mar 12, 2011, 1:24 PM
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Hi Clee,

This is a brave and very insightful post. When you were pregnant you once made a post complaining that you couldn't lead and I think I replied saying "what did you expect" which not surprisingly you didn't like.... Then 2 months later I found I was also pregnant ! And surprise surprise I found I was also dissapointed that I couldn't lead or climb as hard as I liked.!

I also planned to continue climbing through pregnancy (I managed that bit) and get straight back to it. afterwads Our daughter was born last August and I was sure we'd be back at the Gunks in October. But.....it didn't happen. Somehow the weekends passed, it was too hot, or too cold, or she had a bad night, it was too long a drive for one day, one or other of us was too tired etc. Now as the new season should be about to kick off I feel we are at a crossroads and I can see we are tending towards the not climbing option. Neither of us even make it to the regular gym, my husband has put on 20 lb and my back is crook (car seat + baby = heavy)
Before we climbed exclusively as a couple, so even to alternate going out at weekends would mean actively seeking out new partners. Without any additional climbing partners would we be happy even going topropoing outside with her in a stroller? Probably not. Neither of us has family in the country to help out, and even if we did or paid for a childminder, we are at work all week so when would we see her and spend our family time, which is why we had a baby in the first place.
Our two families are in the UK and Australia and all four grandparents are in their 70s, so we have already committed all our vacation time to travelling to see them this year.
So I don't know what will happen, we'd love her to learn to climb so I remained determined to try, but it just might not be.


Kartessa


Mar 12, 2011, 6:46 PM
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It happens!

When my son was born, I dont think I went out for anything other than groceries, diapers, doctor appointments, and the occasional family dinner. This went on for a year before I could take the one night a week (after my son was in bed, of course!) to drag my butt out to the gym and get a little social time.

A few months later, I began bringing him to the gym with me. We didn't go in the evenings or on weekends, when the place is packed, but rather a tuesday morning when it was empty and I had a few friends come out and we could all take turns entertaining him while we bouldered.

He's now 3 and I've recently taken up roped climbs in the gym with him hanging out with his toys and a snack. Lucky for me, he's a calm kid who's happy just chillin with a bowl of fruit, laughing when mommy falls.

Last summer, I took him out a couple of days out bouldering, where gear/rock fall is less of a concern and I'm on the rock for just a couple of minutes at a time (max!).

While this all plays well into my situation, a single mum livin with her mommy who can babysit on occasion. I also work less than 25 hours a week and have lots of time at home. I think what I'm trying to say is that with time you'll find ways that are comfortable to either a) take some personal time to rekindle your love with the sport or b) find a way to share it with your child.

Don't worry about it too much, like Lena said, when you're ready the rock will still be there. Enjoy this time because you can always climb again later, but your baby is only your baby once and will one day be a young man who will find dozens of things he'd rather do than cuddle up with his mom.


Can I ask why you choose to work so many hours? Could you find a job that would be more accomodating to your family life? I know it's often easier said than done, but what's the point of a career when you cant live life?


dan2see


Mar 12, 2011, 8:50 PM
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When our two kids were babies, we started camping and hiking, and exploring the Rockies. Really, we were changing Ben's diapers under the pines, and when our girl came along, it was her turn.

My wife and I shared duties, and the kids were discovering their own favorite games, and roles to play, as soon as they started walking.

This just kept progressing, while they were growing up. It was really funny: Ben would fish anywhere, Anna would swim anywhere, my wife could read a book under the shade of any tree, and I was the wanderer. In camp, I cooked, wife washed, Ben built camp furniture, and Anna just liked to be useful.

When the kids were teens, I started rock-climbing, and I learned how to top-rope the kids and their friends.

Today they are grown and gone, but they still love the outdoors. Anna drives all over the country, Ben sky-dives, wife still reads books under the trees, and I'm the mountain man.

So my example shows, you don't really have to give up, or quit, not anything! You should always look for fun and adventure that you like, and of course you should make practical plans. But be prepared for Plan B, and change your direction if it makes sense.

Never stop being active at something you like, and always have fun.


smallclimber


Mar 13, 2011, 3:40 PM
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Kartessa wrote:
Can I ask why you choose to work so many hours? Could you find a job that would be more accomodating to your family life? I know it's often easier said than done, but what's the point of a career when you cant live life?

I also wondered about your long hours. Do you offically work (and get paid for) 65 hours a week, or do you officially work 40 hours and the inevitable creep means it ends up being 65 hours? If its the former, could you reduce them and if its the latter can you delagate more or speak to your boss such that you don't have to put in the so much extra time.
Every little bit helps and you certainly have a very full plate just with work.


lena_chita
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Mar 13, 2011, 4:37 PM
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smallclimber wrote:
Kartessa wrote:
Can I ask why you choose to work so many hours? Could you find a job that would be more accomodating to your family life? I know it's often easier said than done, but what's the point of a career when you cant live life?

I also wondered about your long hours. Do you offically work (and get paid for) 65 hours a week, or do you officially work 40 hours and the inevitable creep means it ends up being 65 hours? If its the former, could you reduce them and if its the latter can you delagate more or speak to your boss such that you don't have to put in the so much extra time.
Every little bit helps and you certainly have a very full plate just with work.


I think it is an unfortunate reality of working in the medical field that long hours are expected and not easily reduced for people who are fresh out of medical school.

That could open up a whole 'nother thread about work realities and gender disparity, and the impact of motherhood on career.


dan2see


Mar 13, 2011, 8:18 PM
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lena_chita wrote:
smallclimber wrote:
Kartessa wrote:
Can I ask why you choose to work so many hours? Could you find a job that would be more accomodating to your family life? I know it's often easier said than done, but what's the point of a career when you cant live life?

I also wondered about your long hours. Do you offically work (and get paid for) 65 hours a week, or do you officially work 40 hours and the inevitable creep means it ends up being 65 hours? If its the former, could you reduce them and if its the latter can you delagate more or speak to your boss such that you don't have to put in the so much extra time.
Every little bit helps and you certainly have a very full plate just with work.


I think it is an unfortunate reality of working in the medical field that long hours are expected and not easily reduced for people who are fresh out of medical school.

That could open up a whole 'nother thread about work realities and gender disparity, and the impact of motherhood on career.

I once worked beside a lady named Mary. We worked 9-5, and she had two kids in day-care. The day-care closed at 5:15, but if she was late they could bill her $1.00 per minute, if one of the day-care workers could stay late, too. So, every day, Mary left work at 5:00 pm.

One afternoon, the owner of our company had a conference with the the corporate director. Could Mary stay an hour or two, to process this one customer? The director said no, she leaves at 5:00 pm. The owner said it's very important, please ask her.
The director asked Mary (very nicely, but persuasively). Mary said no, she leaves at 5:00 pm.

So the director went back to the owner, and offered his regrets.
The owner was disappointed, but said OK, see you tomorrow.


(This post was edited by dan2see on Mar 13, 2011, 8:20 PM)


clee03m


Mar 14, 2011, 4:55 PM
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Why do I work so many hours... I probably could work less if I wanted. There is a system set where I can take time off and still maintain my partnership. I don't know. I've always had a bit of financial paranoia and feel that we are not all that set financially (which is probably more in my head). I keep saying I will cut back when my husband makes more money, and even as he does, I continue to work.

I go back and forth between motherly bliss where rock climbing is just an afterthought (like when I wrote this post) and feeling some crazy cabin fever feeling like I really need to climb something (like this weekend). Luckly one of my climbing partners, hmm make the my only climbing partner who still keeps in contact was rained out, and we did some fun crack problems at the gym for a few hours. My hands and feet are sore, and I am back to motherly bliss again.

All my climbing buddies are heading out to Indan Creek next week. Am I bit bummed? Yeah. Am I more bummed that I am on call tonight and won't be able to see my son until late? Definitely.


Partner happiegrrrl


Mar 14, 2011, 5:37 PM
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The financial insecurity issue may be driving you stronger than you even know, and (my opinion) 65 hour work week is a LOT. I am old(48) but I cannot imagine having any energy for my child or anything else, with working those sorts of hours.

It might help to speak with a counselor about the financial insecurities. Because it real easy to become used to the increased income as it comes and feel no closer to financial comfort. There's *always* something to spend money on, and for some a growing savings itself can become an obsession.

But force yourself to climb when your heart says it needs your child(and child needs you)? No. You cut out the climbing, something you love, because SOMETHING had to give.

How do you FEEL about the option of cutting the workload? I'm not a mom, never have been, so my opinion weighs a lot less that that of a parent, but it seems to me 65 hours a week is too much(for anyone, really).


lena_chita
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Mar 15, 2011, 5:39 AM
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clee03m wrote:
Why do I work so many hours... I probably could work less if I wanted. There is a system set where I can take time off and still maintain my partnership. I don't know. I've always had a bit of financial paranoia and feel that we are not all that set financially (which is probably more in my head). I keep saying I will cut back when my husband makes more money, and even as he does, I continue to work.

Money worries and working long hours can certainly compicate things. So if you think at least some of it might be due to your perception/unfounded fear, maybe it is a good idea to talk it through with a counselor. Or at east start on your own by doing a detailed budget, figuring your regular monthly expenses, and how much money would you like to be able to put away each month into "unexpected one-time expenses" savings, in order to feel secure. If there is money left over after that exercise-- then that could be your ballpark for how much you can cut in work and pay compensation, without affecting your lifestyle at all. or, the more drastic step would be to figure out which things you can maybe cut, freeing some more cash...

It is a trade-off for sure, but having more time does a lot towards making you feel less stressed and more happy, so it is worth it. If you are not sure, maybe you can do this on a temporary basis-- say, cut your work hours for the next six months, and evaluate how it feels at the end. Or maybe, just cut the time, but negotiate the possibility of increase back to your current hours, in case something happens with your husband's job.

clee03m wrote:
I go back and forth between motherly bliss where rock climbing is just an afterthought (like when I wrote this post) and feeling some crazy cabin fever feeling like I really need to climb something (like this weekend). Luckly one of my climbing partners, hmm make the my only climbing partner who still keeps in contact was rained out, and we did some fun crack problems at the gym for a few hours. My hands and feet are sore, and I am back to motherly bliss again.

I can relate to this, big time. But it sounds to me that you are already dealing with it the right way. Having some time off to do your thing is good. And only you can find the balance of how much is the right amount. Too much -- and you miss your son. Not enough -- and you go stir-crazy. And it isn't a set-in-stone number of hours. It changes-- so let it.

One thing I think should be put out there. not sure if it is applicable, but... If you have been nursing your son, and have started weaning recently, or weaned in the last few months, be aware that sometimes in nursing mothers the PPD is kept at bay while they are nursing, but comes in with vengeance once the weaning happens and hormones change. So if the mood swings are more extreme than your normal, or if episodes of sadness come more frequently and without real-life reasons, try to keep an objective eye on it. Easier said than done, I know! Depression is very hard to see from the inside. Maybe ask your husband for an input--ask him if he thinks your behavior has changed.

clee03m wrote:
All my climbing buddies are heading out to Indan Creek next week. Am I bit bummed? Yeah. Am I more bummed that I am on call tonight and won't be able to see my son until late? Definitely.

Yeah, I'd be bummed, too. Life isn't perfect. It it were, I'd be able to see you in two weeks. Tongue


clee03m


Apr 8, 2011, 10:31 AM
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I wanted to give you an update. I finally reached my cabin fever limit and going climbing Sunday. Rain or shine. My lovely partner is willing to go for 4 hours total (including driving and hiking) which means we will be lucky to get 2 pitches in. I realized I don't need to give up climbing, I just need to find other climbers who wants to climb half days. Crazy ex serious climbing parents unite?

*sigh*


gblauer
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Apr 8, 2011, 1:07 PM
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Interestingly, you might be able to find groups of parents who climb.

Up here at the Gunks there is a regular group of climbers who bring their kids and they all climb together. Parents take turns climbing and watching the kids. The kids play with each other as the parents climb. From what I understand it works out quite well and everyone gets to do a little bit of everything. Even some of the older kids climb.

My kids are all grown up, but, I can tell you that when they were younger, they did not like coming out to climb when there were only adults present. They much preferred to bring some friends along or meet other kids at the crag.


lena_chita
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Apr 8, 2011, 1:15 PM
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Yes, finding a partner who can match your crazy hours is great! I hope you enjoy every minute of your short climbing day and get more soon.

T. is still too little, but Gail is right. For kids beyond toddlerhood having other kids around to play with goes a long way towards making both the kids and the adults happy. So hopefully you'll find those climbing parents.


rockie


Apr 9, 2011, 4:50 PM
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If it helps, I had no plan to climb throughout pregnancy and most I did was swim and walk, daily walks at least.

Now my son is over a year old, a single Mum, I worked part time, and soon just 2 days a week, and I am craving going climbing again, and can see it happening soon enough.

I am not giving it up in any case. It helps my parents will be around to babysit and they are bonded too.


clee03m


Apr 12, 2011, 10:46 AM
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Now that I think I am going to start climbing again, I am agreeing with everyone regarding my need for a new set of climbing partners. I think climbing with other parents/moms with kids similar age would be really helpful.

Good news is that my husband has reiterated that he is willing to come 'climbing' with me where he would share childcare and belay if needed. He is not all that interested in climbing, but as I am a bit daunted by the idea of driving long distances and handling the baby by myself, I was really happy to hear that. How he would react once it becomes a reality is another thing. But I can hope, right?

My husband has offered to babysit whenever I wanted to away on my own also, but my problem is, as I said before, I do not feel that I can take so much time away from my baby because I work so many hours. And my husband and I did some serious accounting, and it turns out I actually do need to work. Oh, well.

So, I am going to start looking for a helmet and a harness for my boy and some fun climbing parents/moms. Wish me luck!


clee03m


Apr 21, 2011, 10:37 AM
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I bought my baby a helmet and a harness! And I am joining two of my favorite partners at Index which is one my favorite climbing areas in WA this Saturday. Hubby is coming along with baby as promised.

Wow, I'm climbing again, y"all!


lena_chita
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Apr 21, 2011, 11:08 AM
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Awesome! Let us know if hte baby harness gets used this weekend. :)


clee03m


Jul 12, 2011, 12:35 PM
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Update:

I have found some great mom partners. Not only do I get to climb, but I get all sorts of advise about mothering stuff. And they actually want to keep the day short.

I still climb with some of my best climbing partners, but finding new mom-partners will make it more realistic for me to climb.

It is really nice to find climbing partners who actually want to organize a family climbing day. Yay!


Partner happiegrrrl


Jul 12, 2011, 1:51 PM
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Yay for You!


clee03m


Aug 3, 2011, 10:40 PM
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So far family climbing days have not happened. I am still in pursuit of that elusive parent climbing partner. You know, the one with another toddler who gets along with my boy, husband who clicks with my husband, etc.

I have been trying everything. On line, forums, meetups.

So this weekend I met someone who made me rethink my approach to finding this partner. She told us some stories that made me seriously doubt her judgement. And I am so thankful she is a talker. Otherwise, I would've just taken years of her climbing experience at face value and trusted her. Next day, I climbed with one of my best climbing partners. He is safe, relaxed, totally fun. Made me wonder if I should just give up this family climbing idea and go on my own.

Next weekend, I am traveling to Squamish with the whole family to climb. I am climbing with one of my good partners and her husband. This is the longest climbing trip for my son both in driving distance and the length of stay. Wish me luck!


clee03m


Aug 3, 2011, 10:45 PM
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I did also meet an awesome girl who is totally badass. 22 weeks pregnant and climbing so strong! (If you are reading this, hi!)

She did inspire me to work less than full time. I am going to try working 50+ instead of 60+ hours and see where my personal and financial life falls. Hell, if she can manage, I should be able to also, right?


lena_chita
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Aug 4, 2011, 6:46 AM
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clee03m wrote:
I did also meet an awesome girl who is totally badass. 22 weeks pregnant and climbing so strong! (If you are reading this, hi!)

She did inspire me to work less than full time. I am going to try working 50+ instead of 60+ hours and see where my personal and financial life falls. Hell, if she can manage, I should be able to also, right?


This is awesome! IMO, totally worth it, to have more time for your family and for things you enjoy doing. Maybe eventually you will be able to cut some more hours.

And as far as finding partners, I don't think it ever has to be ONLY one kind of partner, e.i. if you are a mother of a toddler, you should only look for other mothers of toddlers.

A family with older kids might be just as compatible, if the older kids are the kind of kids that enjoy entertaining the toddler, for example.

Or it could be a partner without kids who is relaxed and easygoing and not minding extra time it takes you to hike in, the distractions a toddler introduces into your climbing days, etc. etc.

Bottom line is, you are finding people to climb with, yay!


rockie


Aug 4, 2011, 4:13 PM
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clee03m wrote:
I did also meet an awesome girl who is totally badass. 22 weeks pregnant and climbing so strong! (If you are reading this, hi!)

She did inspire me to work less than full time. I am going to try working 50+ instead of 60+ hours and see where my personal and financial life falls. Hell, if she can manage, I should be able to also, right?

50 hours is still alot. 36 hrs is full time here in the UK, I came back for good and aim to work 1-2 days a week until my LO is 5 yrs old and starting school to be honest.
I got talked into not selling my gear, as I had considered it due to not being able to get out climbing soon enough, and then I got given a better idea by those talking me out selling the gear. Get 3 of us and one to always mind the toddler, so that is what I am now planning. Peak district here I come, sooooon Smile


kiwiprincess


Aug 7, 2011, 1:57 PM
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Last weekend I went Ice climbing with a whole bunch of local ladies.
2 Leaders, 2 experienced but less confident Ice climbers (one hadn't been for 5 years), And 3 Rockclimbers

Some of the girls had 8 month-3 year olds. The reason they came is we made a committed date about 6 weeks out so grandparents and dads were able to be available so they could leave the Kids for a day. We used from 6 am to 7 pm, saw the sunrise and sunset and had heaps of fun and Cake!

Other times we all boulder which is good because the Partner isn't stopped climbing if baby needs feeding or settling the way you are sport climbing, you just choose a problem you don't need spotting.

Sport climbing other families are good as the kids do entertain each other heaps, even with an age difference along as they are al under 9ish.


clee03m


Aug 8, 2011, 8:17 AM
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So I went to Squamish for the weekend with another couple, baby and husband. Because both husbands are not avid climbers, the dynamics worked perfectly. And Bluffs at Squamish is soooo kid friendly. My son had a blast swinging on his harness, throwing rocks, and playing with my partner's dog.

And miracles of miracles, my husband actually enjoyed himself. He thought the area was beautiful (who in their right mind would disagree with that?) and he enjoyed the moderate climbs. I kind of felt badly since I would normally drag him along and climb only stuff he can't climb may be except for a warm up climb or two. My climbing partner was so considerate and always put up some climbs for her husband. Lesson to be learned I guess. And now that I am super rusty, my husband enjoyed the climbs I was able to do. There is a silver lining to everything--even not being able to climb very hard!

This was part of my vacation, and I felt very lazy and decided to stay at a motel. And when my friend mentioned that they were thinking about buying a condo in the are, my husband actually seemed interested in doing the same. Wouldn't that be sweet to have a place near Squamish and Whistler? I can always dream.


clee03m


Aug 22, 2011, 10:42 AM
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Well, I'm preggers again! I am 12 weeks. So strange the alarming rate at which my belly is expanding. I didn't even start showing until 5 months last time. I hear this is normal, but I still wonder if I am preggers with twins every time I see my enormous belly. Seriously, y'all, I may have to pull out my full body harness.

So strange to think I will stop leading shortly. Good thing I have great and patient partners. Last pregnancy I said I didn't want to be called a belay bitch. One of my partners said, no problem. He'll just be my lead bitch. Haha, and I am his belay gun!

I am hoping to return to Squamish before the weather turns crappy. I am curious to see how 2 babies will work with climbing.

On another note, my home gym idea has dwindled to more a home door way. I am super excited though. One side will be a small finger crack, other side sligtly bigger than fist off width, with a hang board on top. I am envisioning a kind of a circuit of crack to hang board to crack and back. Once I finish it, I will post pictures. Well, if I figure out how to post them.


Kartessa


Aug 22, 2011, 4:11 PM
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Congrats!


lena_chita
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Aug 22, 2011, 5:42 PM
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Congratulations!


noell


Aug 23, 2011, 7:54 AM
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Congrats!!! Hope you are feeling well! You have a TON on your plate right now. Take care of yourself! btw- I am 23 weeks this week, went climbing last weekend at the Obed (HOT out here!) and had a good time. Between the heat and my energy levels and lack of strength, I am just TRing my old warm ups, but having a great time just being out with folks.


Partner happiegrrrl


Aug 23, 2011, 4:02 PM
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clee03m wrote:
I am curious to see how 2 babies will work with climbing.

Well, maybe you can leverage the cost for babysitting for 2 and tell yourself the childcare is saving you money?(kidding)


Congratulations on your pregnancy and best hopes for a solid future belay gun!

How many month apart in age will your children be?


clee03m


Aug 23, 2011, 5:57 PM
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Kiddos will be 2 years apart.

Noell, at least you were TR'ing your old warm up climbs. I was climbing below what I would have normally warmed up thinking that it is pretty challenging. I am climbing worse than ever I think except may be the first 6 months when I started climbing. But no worries. I am confident when the kids are older and I climb more, I will get my climbing shape back.

This pregnancy has been pretty challenging between the nausea and exhaustion. I really think that my first pregnancy was easier because I was so fit when I got pregnant and I continued to be so active after. I asked my husband if I was this miserable last pregnancy, and he said he didn't think so although he couldn't be sure since I was always climbing and he really didn't see me that often. So weird. I guess I used to be pretty hard core!

The same climbing partner from Squamish thinks once she has a baby, the four of us will be handle three little ones since neither of our husbands are all that into climbing. I hope she is right. She has plans like out of four weeks, she is going to climb on her own one weekend, climb with the baby one weekend, and be home with hubby and kiddo for 2 weekends. My husband and I had a similar deal that didn't quite take into account my inability to detach myself from the baby especially the first year and how to factor in breastfeeding.
I am really excited that one of my partners is going to have kids close to my kids' age.


clee03m


Aug 27, 2011, 10:18 PM
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Latest news: I have officially crossed over to the dark side and have joined the pebble crawlers! I am a proud owner of a crash pad.

I have committed to a 7 day trip at Squamish with one of my climbing partners. We are camping. This will the longest time baby has ever camped or climbed. I am a bit nervous.

So in preparation, we are going climbing/camping at Squamish for 4 days over the Labor day weekend. And because I wasn't getting all that enthusiastic responses from all the multipitchers about committing to a day of cragging with pregger lady who doesn't lead along with a screaming toddler, I bought a crash pad just in case. Don't worry. I will stay very low to the ground.

Well, it does seem that I am climbing much more. It is comforting to know that I will eventually get back climbing after this little one as well. And my husband is being very supportive. Yay!

Ladies with experience camping with kids in diapers, how gross does it get after a week of no bath?


smallclimber


Aug 28, 2011, 11:00 AM
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I suspect that it doesn't actually get any worse after the first few days! If I am on a long backpacking trip without ability to shower or wash clothes I find you start to smell (day 2), then you smell a bit worse (day 3). But after about day four both you and your clothes sort of hit a wall with respect to smelliness.
Takes lots of wipes!
I have a non-climbing question..... How long a drive is Squamish from where you live, and how does your son cope with the drive? If he sleeps most of the time (I struggle to keep my 1 yr old awake in a car, even if she is not due for a nap) does that then disturb his nightime sleeping for a few days?
Good luck, you are very brave doing all this.


clee03m


Sep 5, 2011, 9:54 PM
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It takes about 5 hours from where we live to Squamish. He cried once both ways where we stopped and let him out. He stopped sleeping in cars so night time sleep wasn't disturbed. We think that his nap times and schedule has no affect on night sleep. Some nights he sleeps well, some nights he is up all night. We have not been able to figure out a pattern.

So we got back from a two night of camping. Lessons we learned are: 1. Pitching a tent near other climbers is really stupid when the baby is not sleeping through the night. 2. Two single person padding is not big enough for two people and a baby. 3. Camping without running water is not as gross as I feared. We all returned a bit dirty, but the baby was fine.

We had one day where the three of us climbed with the partner I will be climbing for 6 days. it went well. Had a wondeful weekend climbing even though I have stopped leading and was only following. I am starting to worry about exactly how we are going to climb with 2 kids, but I think I will be happy that we seemed to have figured out how to climb with one kid for now. Bluffs are over run with kids. At some point I think there were 6 kids and a dog running around in one area. Wish there was a place like that close by...


atg200


Sep 12, 2011, 3:08 PM
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clee03m


Sep 13, 2011, 8:25 AM
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I'm an anesthesiologist. I am not an employee. I am a partner in a physician group. Full time for us is 65+ and we have ample freedom to cut back the hours (but if we go half time we loose partnership), but we get paid per hour as a group. Funny how I would loose partnership if I went to what is considered full time in UK.

Unfortunately, I still have not been able to cut back on hours. I think I would feel better if we have a bit more savings before I cut back. I don't feel I am trying to save too much considering how financially paranoid I am. Just 6 months emergency reserve, enough money for house maintenance, money set side for vacation, and some money set aside regularly for college tuition. But something always comes up, and we are not even close to what I would like to have set aside.

4 days until Squamish! My husband just realized we will be climbing on his birthday. Oops. We will celebrated the following weekend, but he is mad I forgot. I will have to be more careful next time.


lena_chita
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Sep 13, 2011, 10:18 AM
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Oops! Forgetting birthdays is bad... but Squamish is good! Besides, you didn't forget his birthday, you just forgot that he would like to do something other than climbing for his birthday. :) He is coming along, right? Sounds like a good day to take a rest day!

As to the rest, time=money.

Your "needs" always expand to use up all the available money, just like activities you like to do always expand to occupy all available time. So unless you set a date and decide that you are changing your work hours on this date, and sticking with it, there will never be a "good" time to cut back on work hours, there will always be another house improvement project that needs money, another unexpected expense, etc. etc. But once you have a new budget to stick to, you will.


smallclimber


Sep 13, 2011, 6:58 PM
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In a time where most companies are laying off people every year if you want to keep your job working 40 hours a week probably won't cut it at most places. You may be lucky, but I don't know anyone at our company (no matter how efficient they are) who works <50 hours per week. Or rather I don't know anyone who will survive the next round of lay-offs who works <50 hours per week.

But yes 65 is lots.


clee03m


Sep 17, 2011, 8:16 PM
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Squamish got rained out, so we were looking at this place called Trout Creek, but after hearing that the base has casms big enough to engulf trolls, we finally decided on Smith. We finally got everything packed and had driven about 3 1/2 hours when I noticed that I was spotting. Called the doctor, and he said not a big deal and take it easy for a few days. Then he said, "Hopefully your vacation is not bungy jumping or mountain biking. Hahaha" I told him actually we were on our way to climb. He asked where, and when I said Smith, he suggested may be I can watch the climbers with with a burnoculars from the camp site for a few days. Well, at least he knew what climbing means and where some people camp at Smith... So we decided to turn around and come home. And now I am on "taking it easy" arrest for a few days. I feel horrible for my climbing partners. I am going to REI to buy him a few lockers, biners, and slings as a "I suck" gesture. And he actually don't mind climbing with my baby around. I hope he is not going to write me off completely... When I joked that he was not going to ever climb with me again, he actually said, "may be not while you're pregnant." Ouch.


smallclimber


Sep 18, 2011, 6:19 PM
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I hope you will be OK, must be scary to notice spotting. I'm sure the doctor is right and it will be nothing, but you might not have enjoyed your trip much anyway after a scare. Fingers crossed for you.


noell


Sep 19, 2011, 9:18 AM
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Hey- how ya feeling after the spotting? Everything okay?

I am 27 weeks this week, went to the Red for the weekend ( we have a camper there) and got in some nice TR sessions. MUCH nicer now that its not 95 degrees. I actually feel stronger than I did a month or two ago! But still taking it SUPER easy.

Hope you are doing okay.


ClimbClimb


Sep 30, 2011, 3:57 PM
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clee03m wrote:
I'm an anesthesiologist. I am not an employee. I am a partner in a physician group. Full time for us is 65+ and we have ample freedom to cut back the hours (but if we go half time we loose partnership), but we get paid per hour as a group. Funny how I would loose partnership if I went to what is considered full time in UK.

Don't worry... once healthcare reform fully kicks in, you'll be able to cut back to whatever you want to do and make $40,000 a year like doctors in the UK's NHS do.

At that point you'll quit practicing, go get an MBA, and become a hospital administrator instead.


clee03m


Oct 1, 2011, 9:35 AM
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Actually plan B in case the whole health care goes to shit is to go to law school. My husband is a lawyer, and I was a bit jealous when he was in school. Seems like a fascinating subject. I even looked into going part time, but in order to be eligible for bar, you can't really take one class at a time. I miss being in school sometimes.

It's true that in this political environment that most physicians are having to come up with a plan b...

BTW y'all, I actually requested my first day off! Coming Tuesday! That was a really big step for me. For some reason I had a hard time telling my administrator (mind you she is my employee) that I plan to do this once weekly to spend time with my son. I made up something about how I have so many doctors appointments. I am not sure why I lied about that... This is despite that we are encouraged to take 1+ days off because it benefits the corporation. And even though I should take the day off from the following week because only one day is left where we are 1+, I keep telling myself that I will wait and see how that one day off goes. I am such a freak when it comes to work...


clee03m


Oct 31, 2011, 8:43 AM
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One day off per week is working wonder for my relationship with my MIL (who babysits while I work), my marriage, and my happiness. I wish I would have done it sooner. And money? We are doing fine. We are just a little tighter with money and not spending so much on stuff like eating out, which is healther anyways, and extra crap we really don't need.

Well, pelvic instability strikes back :( I stopped climbing Jan 10 last time (yes, I know the date), and this time I am exactly one month ahead and I had to cancel a trip this weekend. So I guess it struck one month and few weeks earlier this time. My faithful climbing partner has promised to lift weights with me again. *sigh* He is such a pal.

I am not as torn up about this time. May be because I knew this was coming? Or because I know as soon as I pop that baby out I will feel better? I think last time I kept reading about cases where it never resolved and was really worried. I am confident I will be fine after I have this baby.

One of my good climbing partners is also having a baby. She is in her second trimester. Yay! We are plotting climbing with 2 new borns and a toddler. Luckily neither of our husbands are much of climbers but willing to come along to babysit. I will let you know how those outing work out.

I guess you won't be hearing from me for a few months. Wish me luck!


Geekstar


Dec 18, 2011, 10:41 AM
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I am so glad everything is working out well for you!

I have a few opinions, and since you asked, I thought I'd throw some around.

1. If you're struggling finding a partner, make a partner! My climbing partner started taking out a handful of his coworkers (including me) climbing to see who would get bit by the bug...we have the same work schedule, and he liked everyone he invited out. Now I am his n00b and falling into his master plan (he's a self-proclaimed top rope king and wants a rope gunner - I'm learning to lead and loving it).

2. Because I knew and liked him as a person first, I am way ok with his kids. Yesterday at the crag I even said, "Ugh, I don't like little kids" and he joked about telling on me to his daughters. I don't like kids, but I like HIS kids because they're a part of him and I like him, so I am totally okay when they come to the crag. If I only knew him through casual climbing partners, I don't know how I'd feel. (I do NOT have kids.)

3. It will get so much better when they're older. His 6 and 4 year old love to come out and play in the rocks. They run around like crazy (in our sight and away from other people). He has just started with them climbing a little bit in a tiny harness. Because there's two of them, they're in their own world. We probably climb two or three times solo and then once with them to give mom a break - when we take them, we go with n00b climbers or people who want an easy day so there are plenty of adult hands on deck and no one is annoyed that they're not cranking out on a multi pitch. As his primary partner, I'm okay with these days because again, I like his kids, and I know that it keeps the wife happy which preserves my long term climbing potential.

If you're having problems finding a partner, take a friend who likes your family and your lifestyle and MAKE them a partner.

Also - work less! You always live within your means. I got a car payment of $220/month (about 10% of my monthly income to give you some perspective) and I thought: I am mot saving any money as it is - how can I lose that money? It turned out fine. I am about to start paying $500/month for my grad school (again, about 25% of my income) and I have no idea how it's going to work, but it is. There are people out there supporting two kids on my salary, I can make it work. My lifestyle will change of course, but that's life.

I'm a teacher who gets paid 37 hours a week but was generally putting in 50-60 hours. That is NOT a life! I'm single with no kids and I felt like I had no free time with that schedule, so if you feel like you have no free time, it's because you don't. When the time comes, evaluate your priorities. Is a comfortable life more important than time? (and although I'm sure your student loans are crazy, a lawyer and an anesthesiologist probably have room in their budget for a little less comfort)


clee03m


Feb 16, 2012, 3:02 PM
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I am getting close to having this baby! And I am so excited that I am close to climbing again!!!!

I know, I know, things can be totally different after baby. I know that from the first experience. But I am kind of thinking once a weekday climbing with friends at the gym, hang board training at home the rest of the weekdays (along with stationary bike and weight lifting for rest days), once a month or so on my own climbing, and once a month or so climbing with family. I ran into a climber at the children's museum who said that she climbed with her baby in her first year along with her 3 year old. If she can make it to Smith, I can climb all over WA, Smith, and Squamish, right? If this coming season isn't that productive, I won't be devastated. I know for me, it was really hard taking my infant son climbing. I didn't feel safe for him. And I didn't feel comfortable being away from him, either. But I am taking 1, sometimes even 2 days off per week. I am thinking that I won't be so desperate to spend time with my baby and toddler where taking a break from them would be more comfortable?


karmiclimber


May 3, 2012, 4:56 AM
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clee03m wrote:
Update:

I have found some great mom partners. Not only do I get to climb, but I get all sorts of advise about mothering stuff. And they actually want to keep the day short.

I still climb with some of my best climbing partners, but finding new mom-partners will make it more realistic for me to climb.

It is really nice to find climbing partners who actually want to organize a family climbing day. Yay!

Clee...can I ask where you found the mom partners you climbed with? I'm looking for Moms/families to climb with and don't know where to start.


clee03m


May 3, 2012, 11:51 AM
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I joined a meetup for outdoorsy moms. But it seems that they are pretty busy and I have not found regular mom climbing partners still.

One of my regular partners is about to have a baby, and I can't wait.

I've got a list of emails of climbing parents from asking around rc.com and local climbing site. But once again, no regular partners.

It has not been easy. On one meetup, there was a scary lady which made me wonder if looking for random partners was such a good idea. Oh well. I hope you have better luck than me.


karmiclimber


May 3, 2012, 4:37 PM
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clee03m wrote:
I joined a meetup for outdoorsy moms. But it seems that they are pretty busy and I have not found regular mom climbing partners still.

One of my regular partners is about to have a baby, and I can't wait.

I've got a list of emails of climbing parents from asking around rc.com and local climbing site. But once again, no regular partners.

It has not been easy. On one meetup, there was a scary lady which made me wonder if looking for random partners was such a good idea. Oh well. I hope you have better luck than me.

That's why I'm not exactly eager to meet up with someone from the internet. I think I'll just keep heading to the gym and hoping I meet someone there...


clee03m


May 4, 2012, 10:15 PM
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Some of my best partners are ones I met online. It is pretty safe when I talk to them first and get a good sense of their experience and meet in a group and observe before letting them belay me. The unfortunate situation about meetup is that there is no way to control who signs up or comes. And really no way to say, scary lady, you can't come.


karmiclimber


May 5, 2012, 9:03 AM
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clee03m wrote:
Some of my best partners are ones I met online. It is pretty safe when I talk to them first and get a good sense of their experience and meet in a group and observe before letting them belay me. The unfortunate situation about meetup is that there is no way to control who signs up or comes. And really no way to say, scary lady, you can't come.

LOL. Someone should tell those scary ladies to stay home :P I've only had 2 very memorable scary lady encounters involving climbing and being outside.
1. SUPER creep lady at the climbing gym with hair down to ankles, no teeth and meth voice video-ing my daughter climbing, and making some kind of creepy narration while doing it. As soon as I caught onto it, I gave her the bitch face of death and made sure my large bum was directly blocking her attempts to vid. my precious angel.
2. Backpacking the appalachian trail with my good friend...we ran into a backwoods family hiking the trail. The mother started bragging about her knife collection...and started pulling them out and showing them to us. She literally had them stowed all over her whole person...big ones too with much serration (is that a word?). Then *joking* about how she would use them on her son if she had to. Nobody laughed. Unimpressed

Anyway, I seem to have found SOME luck. Met one really nice lady at the gym with a 3 year old the other night. She was super cool. My only problem is that it seems like most of the moms at my gym don't really climb...they just bring their kids to climb. Oh, well, it will all work out like its supposed to with climbing partners...eventually, hopefully.


clee03m


May 7, 2012, 10:59 AM
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OMG when I said crazy I meant poor judgement like carrying your toddler in a pack up multipitch and taking a ledge fall because she saw a spider. Your crazy is really crazy. Scary crazy. *shudder*

On another note, I went climbing outside for the first time since baby #2. I didn't lead (not much I feel comfortable leading where we were), but I am sore from climbing. Yay!

I pumped. Some guy kept insisting that there was some crazy frog around, and I didn't correct him. Just smiled and kept pumping. Ah, the joys of climbing motherhood.


karmiclimber


May 7, 2012, 12:28 PM
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clee03m wrote:
OMG when I said crazy I meant poor judgement like carrying your toddler in a pack up multipitch and taking a ledge fall because she saw a spider. Your crazy is really crazy. Scary crazy. *shudder*

On another note, I went climbing outside for the first time since baby #2. I didn't lead (not much I feel comfortable leading where we were), but I am sore from climbing. Yay!

I pumped. Some guy kept insisting that there was some crazy frog around, and I didn't correct him. Just smiled and kept pumping. Ah, the joys of climbing motherhood.

That is still pretty crazy...but sadly, I've seen it done myself. I don't know why people think that is okay. To me those backpacks are for hiking with your baby/toddler...not climbing.

LOL. Oh, if he only knew the truth of the crazy frog. :P Did you take your kids with you? I'm so afraid to take my little girl with us to the major climbing in our area (New River Gorge and Red River Gorge) because of copperheads. I'm afraid I'd be too busy protecting her from snakes to focus on belaying and climbing :-|


clee03m


May 9, 2012, 12:55 AM
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I used to live in Ohio and have climbed at RRG and NRG and I really think they are pretty ideal for climbing with kids. I can understand that you may be worried about things like copperheads, but that is nature. She is more likely to get hurt in the car on the way to the craig than get bitten by a copper head. I would also have another person with you so that someone can be watching her the whole time. If you and your husband take turns watching your daughter, your climbing partner should not lose any time climbing.

That being said, I could not take my older son climbing for his entire first year of life due to fear of rock/gear fall. I don't think our fears as parents are rational sometimes.

Sounds like you are having some trouble finding partners who would climb with a child. But hang in there. I feel like partners are there to be found. You just have to keep trying. And get strong as possible. I notice that harder you climb, easier it is to find partners.


clee03m


Jul 17, 2012, 8:36 PM
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So, I sold my pregnant climbing harness. I've been getting rid of baby things, but more than anything, it feels final now that I am getting rid of the harness. Nope, guess ain't gonna have another baby.

Went out about 3 times this season, but lately, I've not been climbing. Seems like that is the pattern for me. Not much climbing the first season after baby. I can't wait until baby is a year old next season. I think we will all have lots of fun together as a family. One of my climbing buddies is at Squamish this week with her 2 month old. Why I am not badass like these women, I don't know.


Kartessa


Jul 18, 2012, 6:42 AM
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Maybe out there it's different, but until my son was a year old, I wasn't into dragging him anywhere... except maybe church.

I just can't handle that kind of stress.


lena_chita
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Jul 18, 2012, 8:30 AM
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clee03m wrote:
So, I sold my pregnant climbing harness. I've been getting rid of baby things, but more than anything, it feels final now that I am getting rid of the harness. Nope, guess ain't gonna have another baby.


Bitter-sweet and relieved at the same time, at least that is how I felt when I realized that I had nothing for under-1yo set in my house...

And then other milestones come: Nothing for pre-school set... No baby or toddler-proofing, no need to spot a child going up or down stairs... Out of the butt-wiping business... and so on. :)

The bitter-sweet feeling really hit me again last year, when I realized that I can now erase the elementary-school office phone number from my phone...

clee03m wrote:
Went out about 3 times this season, but lately, I've not been climbing. Seems like that is the pattern for me. Not much climbing the first season after baby. I can't wait until baby is a year old next season. I think we will all have lots of fun together as a family. One of my climbing buddies is at Squamish this week with her 2 month old. Why I am not badass like these women, I don't know.


If it were not the baby that came out of my own body (e.i. if I were taking an adopted child to the crag), I would much rather take a 2 months old with me, instead of a 14 months old. (Though at this stage in my life I personally would rather not take either 2 months old, or 14 months old with me. thanks!)

But with my own babies, I just didn't feel up to the challenge of going camping with them when they were really little.


Partner happiegrrrl


Jul 19, 2012, 11:52 AM
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In reply to:
If it were not the baby that came out of my own body (e.i. if I were taking an adopted child to the crag),
...

I am sure you didn't intend to say something that would probably offend an adoptive parent, simply because it is not the perspective you have. But I can imagine someone who is a step-parent or adopting parent reading that phrase and being upset about it, as if it were supposing their parental bond was somehow less because they are not the birth parent.

I've never had children, and at fifty, even the idea of step-mom or adopting mom seems improbable, but I can honestly say that even imagining myself with an adopted child, I would have been offended to read that. The adopting parents that I know very much cherish their child or children.


lena_chita
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Jul 19, 2012, 12:17 PM
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happiegrrrl wrote:
In reply to:
If it were not the baby that came out of my own body (e.i. if I were taking an adopted child to the crag),
...

I am sure you didn't intend to say something that would probably offend an adoptive parent, simply because it is not the perspective you have. But I can imagine someone who is a step-parent or adopting parent reading that phrase and being upset about it, as if it were supposing their parental bond was somehow less because they are not the birth parent.

I've never had children, and at fifty, even the idea of step-mom or adopting mom seems improbable, but I can honestly say that even imagining myself with an adopted child, I would have been offended to read that. The adopting parents that I know very much cherish their child or children.

Sorry if it offended you. It was definitely not my intent.

I was simply referring to the fact that if you had just given birth 2 months ago, you are likely still dealing with simple physical recovery from childbirth, so on top of the logistics of taking the baby to the crag, you also have to deal with some possibly-painful, or possibly-just-tiring after-effects of childbirth.

If you are simply taking a baby to the crag and you yourself are is good health then it is hands-down easier to take a 2-months-old child anywhere compared to a 14 months old.

But [2 months old + difficult labor] as a combo might be way harder than [14 months old + fully-recovered].


Partner happiegrrrl


Jul 19, 2012, 12:34 PM
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Thanks for the clarification - I see what you meant now(definitely missed the intent on initial reading!).


smallclimber


Jul 20, 2012, 4:55 AM
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So what are the logistics for climbing with two going to be? The general advice for one seems to be you need a third adult so one parent can always watch the kid. The third adult still gets a full climbing day, the parents each get half a climbing day.
But once you have two, especially once they can move, I can barely watch two of them in the relative safety of my own home, let alone outside.
Not that I even managed to climb outside with one, so I don't think there is any chance we'll manage with two, but I wondered what your plans are. I think however you mostly don't climb with your husband, whereas mine is my exclusive climbing partner. But would you now want one adult per kid to watch them outside. Do you trust hubby to watch two at home if you go away for a day? Is he willing to be stuck at home all day with them? And do you mind going away given you work?
Just wondering what people manage to do. I thinks it's only hypothetical question, we pretty much accept we are not climbing now. Our level was pretty low even when we went regularly, so once you stop you quickly fall below where you feel you can lead outside without getting back into it in the gym.
Good luck


clee03m


Jul 20, 2012, 10:38 PM
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smallclimber wrote:
I think however you mostly don't climb with your husband, whereas mine is my exclusive climbing partner.

I would not go climbing with kids without my husband. Never did with the first, certainly wouldn't try now. It actually works out better that my husband isn't much of a climber in one sense. He doesn't want to climb all day. So a lot of child care falls on him. I've decided to meet up with my partner for a weekend. She is also married to a non-climber who will be there. So there will be 4 adults, 1 toddler, and 2 babies there. Our other non-mother partners may also join us. Don't know for sure if it will work out. Our first time with 2 kids too.

In reply to:
Do you trust hubby to watch two at home if you go away for a day? Is he willing to be stuck at home all day with them?

Yes. Both for work and for climbing. Or girls' night out or whatever. And yes.

In reply to:
And do you mind going away given you work?

Starting to not. Got about 4 days of climbing in before I started feel my time from maternity leave and one day off work a week magic wore off. Now, I am at a place where I am feeling like I need more time with kids.

In reply to:
Just wondering what people manage to do. I thinks it's only hypothetical, question, we pretty much accept we are not climbing now. Our level was pretty low even when we went regularly, so once you stop you quickly fall below where you feel you can lead outside without getting back into it in the gym.
Good luck

Thanks. I think there are a spectrum of how much mothers climb. Some climb a lot to the point they can do it professionally. Some don't for a while. Most fall somewhere in-between. I never took my first one out before he was a year old. Don't worry. Before you know it, you will be climbing again.


clee03m


Aug 19, 2012, 11:32 AM
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Squamish was awesome. At one point we had 8 adults, 3 babies, 1 toddler, and a dog. Then a group of 4 climbers joined us. Weather was perfect, and a lot of really fun granite climbing.

Then weeks passed, and yesterday I woke up feeling like if I don't climb something I would explode. Only partners I could find was through my meetup group except I would be arriving 3-4 hours late without knowing their faces or exactly where they would be climbing. We decided to chance it, and when we got there, no sign of them. Then I got this great idea that if I could get someone to put up my rope, my husband would be able to belay me. So a really nice guy puts up my rope. Now I am nervous because I can't really see the anchors. He assures me that gates are opposite and opposed, and my husband and I get ready for me to climb. Toddler is leashed to the end of the rope. Baby is strapped to my husband's chest and starts to fuss. My husband is standing back to make sure the rope doesn't touch the baby's face, but every time he takes the rope in, he has to lean forward making the baby even angrier. In short, a really dumb idea, dumb enough to win the Darwinism award. So I have to convince my husband that letting a stranger belay me would be better than continuing with the circus. One of the guys belays me so I can clean my gear.

All in all, a really bad idea. Toddler had a lot of fun climbing the bottom of the climb, picking flowers, and digging in the ground, though.

Tyler and friends, thanks so much. You were life savers, and none of you even seem to pass judgment on our circus.


noell


Aug 28, 2012, 10:37 AM
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It's been a while since I've posted up and I thought I'd give you ladies a quick update! My baby girl is now 8 months old (WOW!) and become more and more mobile each day. She's getting into everything! It's awesome. Smile

We took Riley out with us when she was only a week old. No, I didn't climb. My husband bouldered and I basically walked around the boulder field terrified Riley would get too cold (it was December!). Of course, she was totally fine. I even managed to nurse while in the boulder field! We were SOOOO stressed to take her out back then.

Now... 8 months later, it's just part of climbing life. RIley is a part of our life, as is climbing, so it all goes hand in hand. Craig my husband build a crib in the back of our truck that we sleep in when we camp (totally cool design) and where we go, she goes. We don't get in as many pitches as we used to, but it's still working out. And since I am back to work full time, I LOVE the weekends because I get to carry my baby girl up to the crag and snuggle and play all day long. I feel like she's getting to see and do things most kids will never do! She is going with us to the New this weekend - first trip to the gorge!

Of course, we have had our logistical issues. But we work around them. It helps that both my husband and I are committed to making our outdoor-climbing family work.

If any of you climbing mama's want to share ideas and thoughts, a few of us east-coasters created a facebook page for climbing moms. Feel free to look me up. It's a private group, so you have to be invited.


smallclimber


Aug 29, 2012, 7:21 PM
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Congratulations and sounds like things are going well for you.
I didn't quite follow what you do with your daughter when you climb, sounds like you take her to the crag with you and your husband- but are you actually climbing as well? Do you have anyone else with you, or she just stays in a stroller if you are climbing or belaying.


noell


Aug 30, 2012, 9:46 AM
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smallclimber wrote:
Congratulations and sounds like things are going well for you.
I didn't quite follow what you do with your daughter when you climb, sounds like you take her to the crag with you and your husband- but are you actually climbing as well? Do you have anyone else with you, or she just stays in a stroller if you are climbing or belaying.

We climb at fairly popular crags (Obed, Red) so there are folks around. In the past, my husband and I were each others primary climbing partner. This has definitely evolved. And what we do with Riley has evolved too, as she grows and changes. When she was super little, we could hike her in to the crag, and climb together because she slept alot. We would have her in her little nest (tent, blankets, carseat, whatever) and we could climb together while she napped. Now that she is semi-mobile, and naps much less, things have changed. If we have other friends around, then one of us is always with Riley, looking at rocks, trees, whatever, and the other one climbs with friends, then we swap. We are also lucky enough that several friends love to watch Riley and they will take her for a little bit while Craig and I climb together.

We did buy this cool thing called a Go-Pod. It's like a portable exersaucer. It folds up like a camp chair and you can attach toys to it. We figured she liked it enough that if its ever just the two of us, we could put her in it long enough to do a pitch together. Not ideal, but I think it'll work if no one else is around.

Of course, Riley changes each and every day, so every weekend is kind of new and has its own challenges and successes! I remember one cold day this spring at the Red trying to nurse her and it was just the three of us, then it started raining... we were like... what are we doing?!?!? And we left. Crazy But for the most part, we are making it happen and I think she will be a child that will love and respect the outdoors (which is a huge part of all this afterall!).


clee03m


Aug 31, 2012, 10:28 AM
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Re: [noell] realities of motherhood for one (ex?) climber [In reply to]
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Seems I am full of bad trip reports lately. We go to Leavenworth. The first place we go, the Alphabet Rock is fine for kids. But we run out of climbs soon enough, and my climbing partner wants to find some shade. Trubdle Dome? 15 min easy hike with wide areas for kids to play? Great. So we head off. First mistake was husband deciding it would be better to hand carry the baby. He has bad eczema and sometimes he rubs his face with Ergo. Not. A. Good. Idea. Then when we get there it becomes clear that there is no place for kids at the bottom. Toddler is getting upset because he pretty much has to stay in one spot. Then my partner wants to go up further through Leavenworth buttslide. Usually that is fine, but not with a toddler and a baby. I have to put my foot down, and we descend very slowly. I was so stressed. Eventually we put the baby in the pack even though he is too small for it, and half carried, half walked my toddler until we came to a reasonable spot. I felt horrible to put my kids at risk like that.

Lesson we learned. Never carry the baby by hand. Research the area before taking kids. If trail seems suspect, put the breaks on earlier than later.

Well, I am planning a Squamish trip next. I need Smoke Bluffs' baby friendliness after this weekend's trauma.


lena_chita
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Sep 4, 2012, 4:55 PM
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Registered: Jun 27, 2006
Posts: 5662

Re: [noell] realities of motherhood for one (ex?) climber [In reply to]
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noell wrote:
smallclimber wrote:
Congratulations and sounds like things are going well for you.
I didn't quite follow what you do with your daughter when you climb, sounds like you take her to the crag with you and your husband- but are you actually climbing as well? Do you have anyone else with you, or she just stays in a stroller if you are climbing or belaying.

We climb at fairly popular crags (Obed, Red) so there are folks around. In the past, my husband and I were each others primary climbing partner. This has definitely evolved. And what we do with Riley has evolved too, as she grows and changes. When she was super little, we could hike her in to the crag, and climb together because she slept alot. We would have her in her little nest (tent, blankets, carseat, whatever) and we could climb together while she napped. Now that she is semi-mobile, and naps much less, things have changed. If we have other friends around, then one of us is always with Riley, looking at rocks, trees, whatever, and the other one climbs with friends, then we swap. We are also lucky enough that several friends love to watch Riley and they will take her for a little bit while Craig and I climb together.

We did buy this cool thing called a Go-Pod. It's like a portable exersaucer. It folds up like a camp chair and you can attach toys to it. We figured she liked it enough that if its ever just the two of us, we could put her in it long enough to do a pitch together. Not ideal, but I think it'll work if no one else is around.

Of course, Riley changes each and every day, so every weekend is kind of new and has its own challenges and successes! I remember one cold day this spring at the Red trying to nurse her and it was just the three of us, then it started raining... we were like... what are we doing?!?!? And we left. Crazy But for the most part, we are making it happen and I think she will be a child that will love and respect the outdoors (which is a huge part of all this afterall!).

It was great running into you this weekend. R. is super-cute!


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