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enzo


Sep 1, 2003, 8:13 PM
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one of the best I have ever gotten while belaying for a party at my gym is, "are those shoes just for looks?"

Also there was this one heavy lady while I was doing a pretty hard bouldering route on the bouldering walls, and
she asked, "why do you start all the way down there, why don't you just reach up and grab as high as you can?"
me-, "umm, the bouldering route starts right there"
her-"still wouldn't it be easier?"
me-,"yah but the point is to finish the route"
her- why would you wanna finish the route, isn't your only goal to get to the top the fastest?"

Also when kids ask me about rockclimbing competitions they always ask me, "so, what's your quickest time?"

I also get a lot of, " hey look he's like spiderman!"

One really stupid one is, "one time I rockclimbed. And it was really high."
me-"cool, where?"
them- " you know at P.F. chang's where those big statue horses are"

And by far the worst of all is, " why don't you use real rock on these climbing walls?"


kahuna3602


Sep 1, 2003, 8:39 PM
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I work at a gym so we get a lot of the standard stupid comments but the best came when I was belaying at a birthday party. A girl about eleven was climbing pretty good and got up about 25 feet then made the mistake of looking down. Rather than chicken out in front of all her friends the conversation went as such:
her:"I have to get down, RIGHT NOW !".
me :"Why? You were doing so well?"
her:"The rope is breaking, I hear it snapping"
I couldn't help but giggle but the best part is when her seven year old brother answered "I told you she was to fat to climb up there!". I almost dropped her I was laughing so hard. Needless to say no tip for Al.


on_sight_man


Sep 1, 2003, 9:01 PM
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In reply to:
OK, stupid things climbers say . . .

We were at Lover's Leap and I was about to start up something when an older looking couple, man and woman, nicely dressed come up and ask "What are you doing?"

"Climbing," I say, condenscendingly.

Then I noticed they were holding a guide book.

Now THATS funny :))


allilovesrocks


Sep 2, 2003, 7:13 PM
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when my friend and i first started climbing we went with a good friend of ours who was more muscular then we thought. i was belaying him and he fell and i flew into the air and smacked the wall across from us. it was hilarious a few days after, when i wasnt black and blue all over. from then on, whenever one of us belayed him the other one would have to hold the back of the oher's harness so that they wouldnt fly through the gym.


studmuffin


Sep 2, 2003, 8:21 PM
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"...so i was at work today..."
phhh who needs work!! Just climb! :D
Justin


beckerc


Sep 2, 2003, 9:28 PM
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Just a couple of weeks ago I bought some bungee cords for my truck bed to hold stuff down ya know? And my dad sees them and asks me if I got those to protect myself while climbing. Okay, not that funny but I thought so.

It is so funny when I'm at the gym and little kids come in and tell their friends in a joking way "you're going to start on that wall!" pointing to the bouldering. One time this little boy that was like a foot taller than his friends jumped up and touched the ceiling by a bouldering wall and said "these walls are easy!"


taydude


Aug 22, 2006, 8:12 AM
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non-climber: you guys going camping?
(as the group im with all walk by on the trail w/ their crashpads)

also ive had people convinced that the down climb for the bouldering wall at my local gym is the way to the top. yea we just put the lil holds on for decoration. :lol:

forget non-climbers i love watching noobie climbers try to get on v10s or really nooby climbers that skip the start hold and start on the highest part of the problem they can reach.


victor999


Aug 22, 2006, 8:16 PM
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i emailed my family/friends an update to my blog letting them know my wife and daughter did their first lead (and gave a brief description about leading), and this is what one person wrote back asking:

"Now, are 5.3 and 5.7 numbers of minutes it took to climb in the lead? When they led were they the ones putting in those clamps or hooks that the people behind them are connected to or is leading more of a scoping out the foot and hand holds thing?"

:lol:


phugganut


Aug 22, 2006, 9:07 PM
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In reply to:
...forget non-climbers i love watching noobie climbers try to get on v10s or really nooby climbers that skip the start hold and start on the highest part of the problem they can reach.

Those are just climbers that are tired of contrived sit-starts and are experienced enough to know that if you can reach the top of the boulder then you've already solved the problem.


phugganut


Aug 22, 2006, 9:09 PM
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A friend was telling me today about walking to the crag with a bunch of draws a while back and having some kid point at him and say to his friends: "Look at all his keychains."


coolklimber


Aug 22, 2006, 11:21 PM
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At our gym, there are normal walls, then one part that has 3 sections of overhanging wall. Everyone thinks that that is the hardest route, even though they are the easiest.


taydude


Aug 23, 2006, 6:27 AM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
...forget non-climbers i love watching noobie climbers try to get on v10s or really nooby climbers that skip the start hold and start on the highest part of the problem they can reach.

Those are just climbers that are tired of contrived sit-starts and are experienced enough to know that if you can reach the top of the boulder then you've already solved the problem.

no believe me I am experienced enough to recognize a good climber, besides good climbers also dont grab the "ladder" downclimb that is clearly marked out.


dark_zer0


Aug 23, 2006, 3:08 PM
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I hate it when i see new people doing this:

"Look at that 5.13! It looks so easy!"
*They climb it using ALL colors. They ask the manager a question*
"Man these routes are too easy, you got any harder ones"
*the manager replies*
"Ya, this 5.12 is pretty hard"
*soon the guy does it with ALL colors*
"Its too easy" he says
the manager then replies, "Its hard when you do it in one color"
They newbie tries it with ONE color, and couldn't even get off the ground. He soon heads for the 5.5s.

(This has happened basically every week Ive been at the gym)


give_r


Aug 23, 2006, 3:57 PM
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"Grap the grips with the big ins"
"The practice wall"(bouldering cave)
"We've got to learn how to do the ropes!?"(Parents that think the gym is a day care...)

Working at a hella party and kid infested gym is scuzzy..


dark_zer0


Aug 23, 2006, 4:37 PM
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"Do we really need to use the figure eight knot? Won't a overhand knot work as well?"

"Do we really need to learn how to belay?"

"Do we need to hold on the break hand?"

"I don't need climbing shoes, my tennis shoes will work"

*On a v3 RED bouldering problem*(The worst beta)
"Ya, you're almost there, step on that big blue thingy, ya now that yellow one"


robmcc


Aug 23, 2006, 10:08 PM
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Ye gods, I can't believe this thread was resurrected, but since it was...

"I could never do that!"

"I'm not in good enough shape to climb!"

How do they suppose climbers *get* in such good shape?

Rob


taydude


Aug 24, 2006, 5:58 AM
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"oh wow (grabs crotch) these harnesses are pretty tight huh?" (ive seen girls do this too O.o)

after yelling at a kid to get off the bouldering wall downclimb by telling them that they have to have a rope on.
"there's no rope on this wall..." duh...

to try and stop the back talk about the bouldering wall i started saying its for advanced climbers only
"I am an advanced climber i can get to the ceiling"

I've had parents get mad at me for bouldering because I'm "setting a bad example for the kids" :lol:


freakyclimber


Aug 24, 2006, 9:12 PM
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to me from a 5 year old

LOOK at that boy on the wall mommy hes a bad boy.


nosmo


Aug 25, 2006, 1:51 AM
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lauged a bit...

"Hey, so you're going climbing this weekend?"

me: "Yep"

"Do you go freeclimbing or do you use ropes?"

me:"Huh?"

"Because this one time (probably at band camp), I went freeclimbing up this one wall with those plastic thingies on and it was like 10 feet and I nailed it, without a rope. You should try it, its more EXtreme."


AltitudeJunkie


Sep 25, 2007, 9:18 PM
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i feel kinda bad posting this one as it was a family member who said this.

I want to climb everest. and I just plain love climbing. When i told my aunt about the things I'm doing and that i wanted to climb everest, she said, "thats an unattainable goal. its so dangerous and its so expensive." right because nobody has ever climbed everest before right, because its "too dangerous and too expensive." HA!

She was talking about how incredibly difficult kilimanjaro was and how i'll never be able to make it up 14ers. I don't doubt that kilimanjaro was hard but i kindly stated that there are more difficult mountains to climb (K2, Everest, Annapurna, DUH!). She told me that on kilimanjaro she climbed a 200ft rock wall without ANY gear. no pro. no harness, rope, shoes, chalk, nothing. except her pack. I didn't have the heart to say this but that just sounds stupid.

now i'm no expert climber, i've been climbing for three months, but 200 feet with almost zero experience, and NO gear? that sounds like a prayer to the grave.


knieveltech


Sep 25, 2007, 10:07 PM
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AltitudeJunkie wrote:
i feel kinda bad posting this one as it was a family member who said this.

I want to climb everest. and I just plain love climbing. When i told my aunt about the things I'm doing and that i wanted to climb everest, she said, "thats an unattainable goal. its so dangerous and its so expensive." right because nobody has ever climbed everest before right, because its "too dangerous and too expensive." HA!

She was talking about how incredibly difficult kilimanjaro was and how i'll never be able to make it up 14ers. I don't doubt that kilimanjaro was hard but i kindly stated that there are more difficult mountains to climb (K2, Everest, Annapurna, DUH!). She told me that on kilimanjaro she climbed a 200ft rock wall without ANY gear. no pro. no harness, rope, shoes, chalk, nothing. except her pack. I didn't have the heart to say this but that just sounds stupid.

now i'm no expert climber, i've been climbing for three months, but 200 feet with almost zero experience, and NO gear? that sounds like a prayer to the grave.

Can't bag 14'ers? Nonsense! Go do Mt. Evans. Round trip from summit register to car ~75 yards.


vertical_planar


Sep 25, 2007, 11:12 PM
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English girl watching me stepping out of the train with my Franklin crashpad at hand:
-ooooh I love your yellow suitcase!

A friend looking at a climbing magazine at home
-So they plan to climb this 800m wall? Impossible. There will be no oxygen up there!

My boss during my job interview
-So it says here you a rockclimber?
-Yes
-So do you climb?...I mean.. vertical walls?
-..um..yes
-well, I mean...completely vertical?
Funny though I got the job :)


(This post was edited by vertical_planar on Sep 25, 2007, 11:16 PM)


Myxomatosis


Sep 25, 2007, 11:38 PM
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This happened to my climbing partner who was traversing the main wall at the gym and a girl 16-17 said to him... (my partner is only 17)

Girl "You are climbing the wrong way"

My partner just ignored her and kept going, then made his way back down the wall

Girl "excuse me, you know you are going the wrong way?!?!?! your meant to climb up not across"

Partner "Its called bouldering love" in a real condesending voice

LaughLaughLaugh


exalien


Sep 26, 2007, 12:20 AM
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girlfriend's jewish grandmother: "You're going climbing again?? You just did that last year."


wiki


Sep 26, 2007, 1:07 AM
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7 year old first-timer said to me on a trip... "I can't undo my cannabis"

7 year olds aren't even supposed to know that word!

she will become a real climber for sure Tongue

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