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pinktricam
Feb 22, 2005, 4:42 PM
Post #1 of 5
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Registered: Jan 8, 2003
Posts: 7947
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Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mable: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mable: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.
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8flood8
Feb 22, 2005, 4:47 PM
Post #2 of 5
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Registered: Nov 10, 2004
Posts: 1436
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classic
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dookie
Feb 23, 2005, 7:24 PM
Post #3 of 5
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Registered: Nov 25, 2003
Posts: 3528
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here's another one... middle aged woman, but what the hell it's funny :)
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.
Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"
God said, "No. You have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-life, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live she figured she might as well look even nicer.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years?! Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?!"
God replied, "Girrrl, I didn't even recognize you!"
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onbelay_osu
Feb 23, 2005, 8:38 PM
Post #4 of 5
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Registered: May 5, 2002
Posts: 1087
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hahaha that one is freakin sweet
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