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The funniest Rock climbing article EVER
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javaguy


Apr 13, 2005, 3:40 AM
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The funniest Rock climbing article EVER
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I read the funniest article EVER on rockcliming today. Check out the "How To: Go Rock Climbing" article at askmen.com. This Steve Richer guy really knows what he is talking about :D

My favourite quote is:
"Bouldering: This method consists of climbing small boulders without any equipment. Basically, it's like hiking with some obstacles thrown in. "
HAHAHA I fell of my chair when I read that..."like hiking with some obstacles thrown in"..
hahaha..he makes it sound so easy :D



andrewph


Apr 13, 2005, 4:14 AM
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I think you should entitle your post the most worrying rock climbing article ever.

I love how at the end of the article he says "Now that you've learned the basics, you're ready to enroll in a climbing course and impress everyone with your knowledge" I'm not sure the knowledge gained in that article is gonna impress to many people!

Andy


rope_burn


Apr 13, 2005, 4:30 AM
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Hey...If I saw someone come into the gym with $1500 worth of equipment(including suction cups) and ask to be taught how to climb, I would probably die. Man are people ignorant and just plain stupid!!!


crimpstrength


Apr 13, 2005, 4:34 AM
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I am no expert on aid climbing, but do you guys actually use suction cups? :roll:


wingnut


Apr 13, 2005, 5:03 AM
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I think i'm gonna pass out.

seriously though, why would anyone write something like that when they obviously have no clue what they're talking about?

*snorts* heh suction cups :lol:


Partner tradman


Apr 13, 2005, 5:09 AM
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In reply to:
For many climbers, rappelling, although dangerous, is the most interesting aspect of rock climbing.

What? Which climbers?


In reply to:
Once you're properly trained for it and all your elements are secure, rappelling is easy and safe.

Oh yeah, rappelling's real safe.

NOT!!!!!!


kimmyt


Apr 13, 2005, 5:33 AM
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In reply to:
Full-safety climbing: This is a lot like climbing a wall at the gym. You climb using existing grips while someone on the ground pulls on your rope to make it easier for you.


Ooooh now I see why I was finding it so difficult to get to the top of the climb! My belayer wasn't doing it right!!!


overlord


Apr 13, 2005, 5:34 AM
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In reply to:
Full-safety climbing: This is a lot like climbing a wall at the gym. You climb using existing grips while someone on the ground pulls on your rope to make it easier for you.

top roping???? :?

In reply to:
Bouldering: This method consists of climbing small boulders without any equipment. Basically, it's like hiking with some obstacles thrown in.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

In reply to:
Aid climbing: When the face of the mountain doesn't offer any more grips and holds, some experienced climbers pull out suction cups and similar tools to climb up. This is a very dangerous method.

they MUST be joking

In reply to:
Use handholds at head level because raising your arms any higher can get exhausting.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



anybody noticed that the author of this "article" is a "lifestyle correspondent"????


lokiraven


Apr 13, 2005, 5:41 AM
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I always thought i climbed like a wimp because i wasnt strong, smart or skilled enough,now i realize i just forgot my suction cups!!Fortress of solitude here I come.


dynosore


Apr 13, 2005, 5:43 AM
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LOLOLOL great post!!

askposers.com sez

"You need to be trememdously physically fit to stay alive" How have I ever survived climbing???

"Rappelling is safe and easy" I'll go out on a limb and say this guy's never done multipitch anything.

I'm off to hike some V13's


Partner taualum23


Apr 13, 2005, 5:43 AM
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My favorite line:
"Whether you want to impress a girl, find a new hobby, or plan on someday climbing Mount Everest,...."

Wow.


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Apr 13, 2005, 5:43 AM
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In reply to:
anybody noticed that the author of this "article" is a "lifestyle correspondent"????

http://www.askmen.com/...pics/v2/how_to_2.JPG
yea thats the author. no for real... :shock: :roll:


but really i think this picture says it all...
http://www.askmen.com/...0/230b_how_to.JPG%20


dynosore


Apr 13, 2005, 5:46 AM
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In reply to:
rappelling, although dangerous,


In reply to:
rappelling is easy and safe.

Fine piece of journalism. So, is it dangerous or safe?


Partner taualum23


Apr 13, 2005, 5:53 AM
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Dear Mr. Richer,

I just hope you realize that your article was beyond misinformed. The levels of inaccuracies are staggering. Truly. I have been climbing for 18 years. Suction cups are never, ever, involved with aid climbing. Bouldering is NOT hiking with obstacles, bouldering is normally short, extremely difficult sequences. Most of the hardest individual moves ever completed by humans are within boulder problems.
I know you are not a climber, not an outdoor writer, but if someone fed you that information, they had fun at your expense, and you never bothered to check your facts.

Sorry to be so blunt, but that article was an embarrassment, and it should be to you as well.

Better luck with your next outdoor article,

Josh


smearhound


Apr 13, 2005, 5:54 AM
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I was queasily amused to read that soloing made it into the article at all (a distinction between sport and trad climbing would probably have been more helpful). Add another point for responsible journalism!


climb_in


Apr 13, 2005, 5:57 AM
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i love the final paragraph where the author/lifestyle correspondent namedrops sylvester stallone and the movie cliffhanger.

because when little climber boys and girls grow up they want to be as big and strong as stallone.

LOL


harshklimber


Apr 13, 2005, 6:09 AM
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Had me some good chuckles this AM.

"You need to be tremendously physically fit in order to stay alive -- blunt, but true." ---> Are you effin kidding me?

but this is truly classic: "From there, it's only a matter of time before you can be like Sylvester Stallone in Cliffhanger."


Stupid ppl in this world never cease to amaze me with their ignorance...


reunionron


Apr 13, 2005, 6:12 AM
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Funny but dangerous. A little knowledge could get you killed.


tedwarski


Apr 13, 2005, 6:13 AM
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In reply to:
a grading scale has been devised. It goes from 1 to 6, 6 being the most difficult.

And to think, all this time I thought I was climbing hard in fifth class!


Partner j_ung


Apr 13, 2005, 6:14 AM
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http://www.askmen.com/...pics/v2/how_to_2.JPG

http://www.askmen.com/...s_200/230_how_to.JPG

Somebody get this guy a beanie.


bumblie


Apr 13, 2005, 6:36 AM
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I sent the writer an e-mail, telling him what I thought of his article. As usual, I used tact and courtesy in conveying my message.


Partner taualum23


Apr 13, 2005, 6:41 AM
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In reply to:
I sent the writer an e-mail, telling him what I thought of his article. As usual, I used tact and courtesy in conveying my message.

I would love to see a copy of that e-mail.


edge


Apr 13, 2005, 6:41 AM
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I was really hoping that this pic in the article would be accompanied by an explanation on the proper use of a poop tube.

http://www.askmen.com/..._200/230b_how_to.JPG


fitzontherocks


Apr 13, 2005, 6:47 AM
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"Browse the Yellow Pages or ask your local sporting goods store about climbing destinations in your area."

Sharma's latest problem... the one on secret private property? Just let your fingers do the walking, under "Witness the Fitness" in the Yellow Pages.


climb_in


Apr 13, 2005, 6:52 AM
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this guy and this article, definitely NOT helping to advance our sport

still can't get over how lame and contrived that article was. . . be a rock climber and soon you'll be like stallone and hanging out with hot celebrity babes!!!

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