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rocksolid
Aug 2, 2002, 3:03 PM
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What are your thoughts on climbing and dating? If you have been in a relationship with a non-climber (i.e, someone who has never ever climbed, has no desire to climb, and/or just does not understand your love for the sport), has climbing ever caused any tension in the relationship? In general, what do you think the pros and cons are regarding dating climbers vs. non-climbers? For those of you who are engaged or married, feel free to share you experiences too.
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climberdee
Aug 2, 2002, 3:11 PM
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Rocksolid...
I think if you are a climber (a serious, active, committed, gotta have it every weekend type) and your sig. other is not, then your relationship is potentially doomed or at least will be strained significantly. It doesn't even have to be climbing that comes between you. Relationships suffer when one person gets into something a lot and the other doesn't and doesn't understand it. But, if you are both adults, you can probably come to some kind of agreement about how often/when you climb and how often/when you do things with sig. other. Otherwise, enjoy it while it last cause it probably won't.
Climberdee
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tim
Aug 2, 2002, 3:25 PM
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My girlfriend doesn't climb for real (we did some multipitch routes early on, but she doesn't like being scared and worrying about where to poop as a result of being scared). She'll jump on a toprope, but that's about it.
This has not ruined our relationship. I'll probably marry her anyways. I have enough climbing partners that I can swing leads with, and (shocker!) most of their wives/girlfriends are non-climbers too.
You just have to be flexible. If you're Dean Potter then it makes sense to date Steph Davis. Other people have varying degrees of commitment to the sport -- how central to your lifestyle and identity is your climbing? How central to your lifestyle is your partner? Sometimes you have to make tough choices.
A good woman is hard to find, you know.
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crackwhore
Aug 2, 2002, 3:33 PM
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and a hard woman is good to find...
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rocknpowda
Aug 2, 2002, 3:55 PM
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If your significant other doesn't climb, I think it is important for them to at least have something that they enjoy doing and are passionate about. Otherwise you run into the problem of them saying, "You're going climbing again, what am I supposed to do while you're gone?" which will definitely put strain on the relationship.
I have dated a climber, but I never really got to just hang out with the the guys. Now I am seeing a girl who has told me she has no interest in climbing but she has her own hobbies so now climbing is a nice break for me to get away from the sig. other for a while. And she doesn't mind, in fact she tells me to get out and go climbing when my friends call. We haven't gone on any trips yet though where I want to climb and she doesn't. Then again she can just go golfing somewhere while I climb.
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coach
Aug 2, 2002, 4:00 PM
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I have been married 30 years to a wonderful woman who is very understanding. She does not climb and really doesn't understand my feelings about it but she is supportive of it (read; I get my liberty card). Climbing has not been the only thing that I love doing that she does not enjoy (bike riding, cycling, etc) but then again she enjoys some things that I just don't get into but I support her also. It's great if your significant other loves climbing but that shouldn't be the basis of a relationship, just one aspect of it.
Climb On
[ This Message was edited by: coach on 2002-08-02 09:00 ]
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russmanswife
Aug 2, 2002, 4:13 PM
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okay this probably doesn't apply too much to my husband and i since i will go climbing with him and most of the time i tell him we are going climbing which of course i hear no complaints about that but on the other hand i do run and he refuses to do that so i go alone, even though he will drive me to road races and cheer me on and support me. being in a relationship you have to learn to compromise and give and take when needed. is it fun? no but i love my husband and he is too important to me to let something tear that apart. we have a compromise that works for us and lets us both do what we enjoy.
bobbi
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spank_spank
Aug 2, 2002, 4:17 PM
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A good woman is hard to find. A good woman who likes to climb is harder to find.
Luckily my wife climbs just as much as I do. She got me into climbing.
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rockfax
Aug 2, 2002, 4:19 PM
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I climb and date at the same time, especially when bouldering.
There is nothing like seduction when led on a bouldering pad looking at her beautiful vista and the nice view.
WARNING however: Make sure those areas of skin that aren't usually exposed to the sun are fully lubed up with sun screen. (water-based rather than oil based lubricants serve a dual purpose)
I find that girls half my age are attracted to me because I am a climber. Which is fun.
regards,
Mick
www.rockfax.com
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sharmagod
Aug 2, 2002, 4:42 PM
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I thought for sure this was discussed before.Searched for it but couldn't find it anywhere.I think I am overworked.They should let me leave work early.
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chrisshaeffer
Aug 2, 2002, 4:59 PM
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I suppose it would be great if partners shared a love for the same activities- but there will always be something that 2 people DON'T share. If it isn't climbing it will be something else.
I'd be a little suspicious of myself if I NEEDED my partner to be into one particular aspect of my activities or antoher. My ex-wife and I did really well supporting each other through our different hobbies. We knew how to give each other room to play.
One of the things that killed the marriage though was that we didn't know how to play TOGETHER. So, if you don't share climbing, make sure you share something else. Perhaps even better, get into something new together. Something that can just be about the journey the 2 people are taking together.
Take care,
Chris
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rockfax
Aug 2, 2002, 5:05 PM
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SharmaGod (what kind of sycophantic name is that) sprayed:
"I thought for sure this was discussed before:
And what if it was. Where you going to? Zap it.
Cool it youth. If you Zapped everything that had been discussed before, this forum would be dead.
"STOP" he cried wielding his big ZAP gun to prove his own worth to himself and his mommy.
You need to get layed a bit more often.
I mean you well.
Mick
www.rockfax.com
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sharmagod
Aug 2, 2002, 5:19 PM
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Quote:
SharmaGod (what kind of sycophantic name is that)
Not the first and I guess it won't be the last.
Quote:
Cool it youth. If you Zapped everything that had been discussed before, this forum would be dead.
"STOP" he cried wielding his big ZAP gun to prove his own worth to himself and his mommy.
Don't need to take it to heart.Just playin around when I said that but it was discussed so all you have to do is click the link and it will bring you to a page and than you can read and/or add to it.
Quote:
You need to get layed a bit more often.
Well thats debatable.
Quote:
I mean you well.
I mean everybody on this site well!!!
Oh and to stay on topic here....I never dated a female climber but I do hope to find a girl that loves to climb as much as I do.
I know I didn't say this but I love this topic!!!
[ This Message was edited by: sharmagod on 2002-08-02 10:36 ]
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spydermonkey
Aug 2, 2002, 5:31 PM
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My significant other doesn't climb either. She likes to feel safe and doesn't like to do xtreme things, but I have gotten her to go with me climbing before and she says that she'll go climbing in a gym. I have found that climbing or rappelling is a great idea for dates and girls, no matter how scared they are of hights, they'll love the activity.
spydermonkey
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missedyno
Aug 2, 2002, 5:35 PM
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my man climbs and i think that's great, but if there are any little issues in the relationship, it affects my climbing...
headspace/ability/want or need to climb. i haven't been climbing as much since we've been dating. just last night we discussed it and decided to find other climbing partners for a while.
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rocknpowda
Aug 2, 2002, 5:38 PM
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In spite of my former post, I must say it would be rippin' to get layed in a Porta Ledge. Any ladies out there interested in some sport sex in a cliff cabana?
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terss
Aug 2, 2002, 5:39 PM
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I've been climbing for over a year now and although my boyfriend respects my interests he still calls my sport "only for crazy people" which is fine. I don't mind being crazy--it's fun!! Anyways, it is a bit difficult not being able to share my love for climbing, but we manage. We just have to be careful to focus on the things we both enjoy.
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tim
Aug 2, 2002, 5:42 PM
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All hail Mick Ryan, master spraylord
Between you and Russ these forums will never go dead, so don't break any fingers, eh?
Unless of course your name is secretly a sycophantic paean to the Rockfax guy
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truedecker
Aug 2, 2002, 5:45 PM
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i was in love ... he introduced me to climbing ... i fell in love with climbing ... and deeper in love with him because of the experiences we shared on the rock ... it was amazing ... i never wanted ito be without either ever again ... him and climbing ... unfortunately our relationship ended ... and ive only climbed 3 times since ... i long for it daily ... the focus and determination i felt ... the self confidence i felt after i sent something i didnt think i could ... now if i can just find someone as insane as me who climbs ... i dont think i could date a non-climber ... i just dont think theyd get me ...
[ This Message was edited by: truedecker on 2002-08-02 11:15 ]
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zee
Aug 2, 2002, 5:48 PM
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I have lost several girlfriends to the climbing obsession
Am now happily single and playing the field
My experience has been that serious relationships with non climbers is impossible, if you are a rock chasing road warrior...
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rocknpowda
Aug 2, 2002, 5:53 PM
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Truedecker-
There are probably 10 male climbers for every female climber and probably 100 single male climbers for every single female climber-The odds are in your favor-Go to the gym or to the crag and knock em dead.
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sharmagod
Aug 2, 2002, 5:54 PM
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Quote:
my man climbs and i think that's great, but if there are any little issues in the relationship, it affects my climbing...
I think we would all be like that if we had issues in a relationship.I know I would....btw....hope things work out well for you guys.
All the best!!!
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climberchic
Aug 2, 2002, 5:59 PM
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Does living together count?
My boyfriend is a climber with a healthy passion for it. Plus, he brings to the table all his knowledge of trad and multi pitch climbs, and climbing areas that revolve around this that I have had so little exposure to. It's a whole other area of climbing that I can learn from him. I bring all of the sport and bouldering knowledge and corresponding crags that he has had little exposure to. In this way, we have a very complimentary, mutually beneficial climbing relationship. Oh, and lucky for me, but the guy just happens to be my soulmate, so he's my best friend to boot. I really could not ask for more
I have said before in the forums that I could never date a non-climber, and I still mean that. If I'm not climbing, I'm talking about climbing, or on climbing websites, or making plans to go climbing. My free time revolves around it and I don't see how a relationship with a non-climber would work for me. I've tried it in the past and it has not lasted long. My advice is to not settle. I would only settle for someone very specific. Someone with the same passion I have for climbing, can travel to go to new crags. I waited for a long time and I was graciously rewarded.
~Erica
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climberchic
Aug 2, 2002, 6:00 PM
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P.S. Dean Potter and Steph are now married, by the way
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truedecker
Aug 2, 2002, 6:08 PM
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erica ... you rule .... hahaha ... good post ... and i totally agree
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