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val72


Nov 1, 2005, 7:55 AM
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boyfriends
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I've been climbing since I was 14 (now I'm 20), and I refuse to date anyone who doesn't rock climb. Do you other chicks date exclusively climbers? Think I should expand my horizons?

Val


litleclimberchick


Nov 1, 2005, 8:50 AM
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personally, my boyfriend is a rock climber and i can't imagine dating anyone who doesn't climb... and i don't think a non climber boyfriend would put up with me going on climbing trips with all my guy climbing partners... besides,climbers are more fun anyways!

:D


ecocliffchick


Nov 1, 2005, 9:21 AM
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Both my relationships over the past seven years have all been with climbers....and the guys I dated in between were also climbers. If you spend all your time in a gym or at a crag, it's pretty tough to date a non-climber. Especially when all your vacations are to climbing destinations...and you have a hangboard in your livingroom...and you go to bed at night rehearsing sequences to get that redpoint the next day....
I think it would be difficult for a normal guy to understand.

At the same time, losing a climbing 'partner' is hell.


rockstar1342


Nov 1, 2005, 10:33 AM
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Climbers are more fun! And they're so sexy on the rock...:-) I am partial because the love of my life is a climber...but normal guys just seem boring in comparison...don't waste your time :-D


wonderwoman


Nov 1, 2005, 11:42 AM
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In reply to:
Think I should expand my horizons?

Nah, you know best what you need to be happy. If climbing is part of who you are, then only another climber can appreciate that.

When I met my husband I had determined that I could only date a climber. I was also open to someone who was willing to 'become a climber', which is exactly what happened. Now he climbs harder than I do, too! :lol:


rvega


Nov 1, 2005, 4:55 PM
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One thing that climbing does to couples is brings out trust and safety issues. My husband is a climber and I knew from the first time we climbed together that I would always be safe when I was with him. The feeling is mutual.

I've never enjoyed climbing more than I have when I climb with my husband. He encourages me, advises me, critiques me and laughs with me (not at me) when I do something silly like screaming bloody murder when I fall three feet from my last bolt. But he also knows when to push me if I'm being a wus but equally when to back off when I just not ready to lead that scary 5.7 trad climb. He also calls me out when I make excuses for why I won't or why I can't.

That all being said...climbing with a boyfriend/partner/husband can have it's challenges too. When tensions are high, other non climbing related issues have a tendency to sprout up. And when things get really scary and dangerous your relationship better not make things worse.


Partner missedyno


Nov 2, 2005, 6:30 AM
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One thing that climbing does to couples is brings out trust and safety issues. My husband is a climber and I knew from the first time we climbed together that I would always be safe when I was with him. The feeling is mutual.

I've never enjoyed climbing more than I have when I climb with my husband. He encourages me, advises me, critiques me and laughs with me (not at me) when I do something silly like screaming bloody murder when I fall three feet from my last bolt. But he also knows when to push me if I'm being a wus but equally when to back off when I just not ready to lead that scary 5.7 trad climb. He also calls me out when I make excuses for why I won't or why I can't.

That all being said...climbing with a boyfriend/partner/husband can have it's challenges too. When tensions are high, other non climbing related issues have a tendency to sprout up. And when things get really scary and dangerous your relationship better not make things worse.


amen to that.


nola_angie


Nov 2, 2005, 8:41 AM
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do what makes you happy! That's the great part about dating, is you can figure these things out.

Personally, I have the best of both worlds. My guy came equipped with his own harness and quick draws, but he's not *always* out there with me. This gives me the chance to have a few hours to myself, with my friends or by myself. (not that I go climb alone- maybe just some bouldering lite, mostly hiking and checking out new places). But I know I can trust him, and I know he can walk that delicate line of pushing/coaching/supporting me.

I also, tho, have the rare guy who trusts me to go camping/climbing with a group of younger hard bodies, without him, and he is fine with that.

Be choosy, tho. You don't want to fall into the trap of working so hard to be a great climber, only to wind up known as 'so and so's girlfriend'.


bigevilgrape


Nov 2, 2005, 9:21 AM
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the current boyfriend is the only one i've had that climbs, the rest didnt even know what the outdoors were. I dunno what that means, but he's the only one i havn't broken up with ;)


bigevilgrape


Nov 2, 2005, 9:25 AM
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the current boyfriend is the only one i've had that climbs, the rest didnt even know what the outdoors were. I dunno what that means, but he's the only one i havn't broken up with ;)


litleclimberchick


Nov 3, 2005, 7:45 AM
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Climbers are more fun! And they're so sexy on the rock...:-) I am partial because the love of my life is a climber...but normal guys just seem boring in comparison...don't waste your time :-D

normal guys are boring in comparison...climbers are definitely more fun

:wink:


acacongua


Nov 3, 2005, 8:05 AM
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I don't have one, but it makes sense to date one because climbing has moved passed the point of being a sport to being a lifestyle.

However, issues do arise that I fear - becoming so comfortable in the relationship that I take out all my frustrations on climbing on my guy, which I have done and I've seen many do. Plus, I'm the type to climb around - I need to mix up my partners to keep it interesting. Note: I believe fully in fidelty for anyone curious. I was dating someone who wanted to climb with me all the time and that isolated me from my friends - that ended the relationship when I said I wanted to climb with my friends. :?

It comes down to expectations, security in the relationship, and competent communication.


wonderwoman


Nov 3, 2005, 9:24 AM
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normal guys are boring in comparison...climbers are definitely more fun

... in bed! nudge, nudge, :wink:, :wink:

Sorry! I had to finish the sentence for you!


granite_grrl


Nov 3, 2005, 12:00 PM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
normal guys are boring in comparison...climbers are definitely more fun

... in bed! nudge, nudge, :wink:, :wink:

Sorry! I had to finish the sentence for you!

I don't know....I've had two climbers in the sack, the current one is great (and no, I'm not just saying that because he might read this :oops: ). The ex....well lets just say that I don't think he quite knew what was required.

Okay, to the topic at hand! I'm surprized that there hasn't been a response from a lady with a non climbing hubby. If you posted this outside of the ladies room you'd have a mixture for people saying that being with another climbing is the best, some saying they'd never be with another climber and have been with their non climbing other for X years, then some young men whining about how they wish they could have a climbing gf.

If you won't even look at a guy unless he climbs then you might be limiting yourself. Different things work for different people. And while its awesome to plan vacations around climbing locations it can also suck when the two people have different climbing styles/abilities and lets not forget the higher ratio of fights that occur. I'd say at the very least you need someone else with a passion as strong as yours, whether in paddling or mtn biking or whatever. If they don't, I think it would be harder for them to understand and accept your drive to be out there on the rock.


slockwoo_knits


Nov 3, 2005, 3:28 PM
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My boyfriend does not climb but he is a competitive mountain biker. Sometimes we can combine our trips to do both, ie there may be a race near Seneca, WV or he can ride at the Gunks.
I wish he'd climb but it is too slow for him, he is a speed demon.
It works out though because I won't ever race a mountain bike and he probably will never climb a rock.


My ex-husband did not climb, did not ride bikes... he didn't do much of anything, that didn't work out at all.


flydragon


Nov 9, 2005, 8:58 PM
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It sucks not having a boyfriend that climbs. He only kayaks which is neat but that means I will never be standing on top of a mountain in India with him. Too bad for me. If I could only choose but sometimes there is no option right?!


kiwi_raven


Nov 9, 2005, 11:44 PM
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Ever since my last boyfriend I have vowed not to date non climbers. At 15 i didn't think my climbing and mountaineering would affect the relationship but here was this guy who didn't want me to talk about climbing or any of the mountaineering i planned to do and started to resent my climbing
cause he didn't want me to "die". So yea dating non climbers didn't work for me but I guess for some of the less obsessive it could work.


litleclimberchick


Nov 10, 2005, 12:24 PM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
normal guys are boring in comparison...climbers are definitely more fun

... in bed! nudge, nudge, :wink:, :wink:

Sorry! I had to finish the sentence for you!

well,i meant climbers are more fun in general...but yes...that too!

:D


tinsoldier510


Dec 4, 2005, 2:36 PM
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Yay, my first time in the ladie's room! At least, this one.

My experience with climbing and boyfriends mixed together is limited, cuz I've only had one boyfriend who climbed. He introduced me to it almost two years ago, and I was hooked, and we took some great trips to places around IL.

I know what you ladies mean.. He was just the right mix of encouraging, smart-ass, coach, and lovey-dovey sexy man, and to this day I don't think I'd trust anyone as well as I trusted him. Climbing together strengthens your relationship like nothing else.

However, I had a 40 ft fall last October.. He guided my fall and saved my life, and was absolutely amazing over the next couple months while I recovered (it wasn't easy for him, especially being only 21). But then the day the doctors told me it was ok for me to stand, a couple months after the fall, he dumped me. That quickly, he became the biggest butthole ever :lol:

Climber boyfriends can change your life. Just make sure it's a healthy relationship, and try to diversify your climbing partners. You don't want to be left with no one to climb with if you break up.

I'm dating a non-climber right now.. He's an outdoorsy computer geek who used to be in the army, so he's pretty well-rounded. I've been so busy with school that I haven't had time to go climbing since we started dating, but he lets me talk about it a lot. And he's better in bed than the other guy. :D


crazy_bout_climbing


Dec 4, 2005, 7:13 PM
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I know I have the same problem! I just prefer guys who like the same things that I do. I see no point in dating a guy that won't go on weekend trips to Bishop with me!


e_free


Dec 5, 2005, 12:31 AM
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I've never dated a climber before. I find it doesnt bother me much as long as he is an "outdoorsy" guy. i have more than a passing interest in a climber now, and so far its seems to be fine, with the exception of my jealousy for his trips (since im stuck here). guess i can go either way.


alexis_86


Dec 5, 2005, 9:09 AM
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Mycurrent partner is a climber, we met at the climbing gym and hooked up on a climbing trip. But it's fustrating because he's a way better climber than I am and he's been climbing longer so I can't climb anywhere near the grades that he climbs. Also, a few weeks after we hooked up, he decides he's burnt out on climbing and hardly ever climbs any more. So there goes yet another person to climb with, anyway, even when I do climb with him, it can get fustrating.

I guess both types of partners come with their own pros and cons.


sg81hani


Dec 14, 2005, 8:48 PM
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hey alexis..i think i kinda know who u are but not really sure??
oh well...i get what everyone means by hving a climber as a bf..there's that anxiety and amazing rush seeing ure partner finish a hard route and trusting each other on the way. It doesn't matter if they are grades way above what we girls do but in the end it's the same passion for climbing that makes it all gd... sigh i wish i have a climbing bf!!! my climbing partner seems like a perfect option but due to circumstances he'll eventually NOT end up as my bf...damn!


moosecookie


Dec 20, 2005, 9:28 PM
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Yeah--I've already vowed never again to date a non-climber. I haven't been into climbing for that long, but as soon as I got really into it, I wasn't as into my last boyfriend. My final logic: "He doesn't climb. We have nothing in common." :wink: lol


zenelky


Dec 21, 2005, 9:22 AM
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I wouldn't go as far to say that if you're a climber you should ONLY date climbers. I'm assuming you do other things to, not just climb (cause all my climbing buds can't climb year round, so we cave, hike, ect in the winter). I've found that if you share common outdoorsy interests, you can usually make them a climber wheather you try to or not. For instance, I met my guy caving a year or so ago and we would cave together all the time. Then I invited him climbing with me and now I have a rock solid guy to haul the rack and lead the super sketchy stuff :lol: But if you are a climber, definetly, you need another climber if you want things to last. They'll understand being gone all the time and saving all your money for gear purposes only....plus you'll see them more often that way.

Honestly chicas....guys seem to get in the way. It's much easier to focus if you're out there on the 5th pitch, pumped out, thirsty, in agony and look down to see someone who is there for the shear purpose to climb...not spend "time" together.

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