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litleclimberchick
Dec 16, 2005, 9:50 PM
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ok so for like the past two weeks my boyfriend has been flirting with this girl...who is five years younger than him (she is 14!!!!! :shock: ). they flirt right in front of me, as if i'm not there. i talked to him about it and he said it was "all in good fun" and that he was "just doing it for the chase." he insists that it means nothing and that i'm just being overprotective. i just wanted to know if this is something that guys actually do, or if i should be worried... because i know for sure that she likes him... but he says its just a game.
lcc
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chossmonkey
Dec 16, 2005, 9:56 PM
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Dump the loser, upgrade to someone better, and laugh when he gets thrown in jail.
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gqsmooth
Dec 16, 2005, 9:59 PM
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If he has a little sister or niece, ask him if he'd like it if a man 5 years her senior was hitting on her. Or just tell his friends that he likes to "chase" 14 year old girls....
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litleclimberchick
Dec 16, 2005, 10:01 PM
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gosh darn it... that didn't answer my question!!!! and i don't planonleaving him. if he does in fact decide to do anything he will break up first... but that is what i'm worried about...
lcc
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litleclimberchick
Dec 16, 2005, 10:02 PM
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his friends are my friends and they almost all of them think its weird... but they also think i'm overreacting. and he doesn't have a sister or a niece...
lcc
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gqsmooth
Dec 16, 2005, 10:04 PM
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So what is your question? In your original post there is not a single question mark except in the subject. Do you want to know if this is normal? Do you want to know if this is a sign that he is going to leave you? What exactly are you trying to figure out?
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litleclimberchick
Dec 16, 2005, 10:07 PM
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do guys really flirt with girls "just for the chase" and have no real intention of doing anything?
lcc
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kubi
Dec 16, 2005, 10:09 PM
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be worried. If he isn't even considerate enough to hide his flirting from you (when you have already said it bothers you) then he's an asshole at best and a cheater at worst.
The only girls guys flirt with "just for the chase" are really really ugly chicks.
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theledge
Dec 16, 2005, 10:12 PM
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Yes, guys really do just flirt to play, and so does almost every women I know. I would say that in this case you definitely dont need to worry because you exact an incredible revenge just by turning him in. If you want him to stop you could mention the fact that it takes no game for a 19 year old to hit on a 14 year old. Skill would be a 40 year old with one leg and a face like its been hit with a ball pean hammer picking up an 18 year old.
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dirtineye
Dec 16, 2005, 10:19 PM
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If I were you, my question to him would be, "Why does that little kid interest you in the least?"
I know kids grow up a LOT faster these days, but still, 14 is truly a little kid, in terms of almost everything, compared to a 19 year old.
About you other question, yeah, both men and women can flirt with no intention of acting. Some do it to keep their hand in, or because it's kinda fun, or because they are bored or some other reason.
BUT, doing it right in front of you, that's just plain stupid if he knows it bothers you.
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gqsmooth
Dec 16, 2005, 10:21 PM
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Ok no niece. Flirt with his friends. When he gets pissed just tell him you are doing it for the chase. The problem here is, if you are his girlfriend he shouldn't want the chase if he is really happy. But yes, I think people (guys and girls) flirt for fun. I can agree with it if they are single and don't have a significant other complaining or quesioning it. Doesn't look good. And if I ever wanted to flirt just for the chase it sure as hell wouldn't be with ugly girls, those I just take home in a last ditch drunken stupor.
Edit:Sp
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boondock_saint
Dec 16, 2005, 10:23 PM
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you should date me LLC, I'm utterly inept to flirting, you'd have nothing to worry about
edited to say: I would NEVER ever flirt with a 14 year old ....
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granite_grrl
Dec 16, 2005, 10:28 PM
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so your boyfriend likes flirting with little girls in front of you.....and you're worried about being parinoid?
Sure, people flirt with others outside of a relationship - but not in front of their SO who doesn't like it! (or at least they shouldn't).
Now his flirting with a 14 year old, is that even legal?
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litleclimberchick
Dec 16, 2005, 10:31 PM
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In reply to: Ok no niece. Flirt with his friends. When he gets pissed just tell him you are doing it for the chase.
our friends totally wouldn't go along with it... they would be way too scared to... he's kind of an intimidating guy...
lcc
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gqsmooth
Dec 16, 2005, 10:33 PM
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So intimidating that a nice educated girl wouldn't leave him for really stupid antics?
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litleclimberchick
Dec 16, 2005, 10:36 PM
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i'm not intimidated by him at all...
lcc
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litleclimberchick
Dec 16, 2005, 10:38 PM
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In reply to: you should date me LLC, I'm utterly inept to flirting, you'd have nothing to worry about edited to say: I would NEVER ever flirt with a 14 year old ....
aww... thanks boon, but (1) you are so very far away... and (2) i really love my boyfriend...
lcc
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j_ung
Dec 16, 2005, 10:39 PM
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LCC, his behavior is entirely inappropriate on two counts:
1. The girl is 14. SURVEY SAYS...
BUUUUZZZZZZZZ
2. He does it in front of you, when he knows it bothers you. Show me... NO RESPECT....
BUUUUZZZZZZZZ
Cut off his testicles and show them to him as he falls. (That's a metaphor. It means, "Dump him... what are you waiting for?") Do you seriously not deserve better than that? I think you do.
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litleclimberchick
Dec 16, 2005, 10:43 PM
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i just told him it bothered me last night... so i haven't real;ly had a chance to see if he is going to behave the same way...
lcc
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granite_grrl
Dec 16, 2005, 10:45 PM
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In reply to: i just told him it bothered me last night... so i haven't real;ly had a chance to see if he is going to behave the same way... lcc
If he wasn't showing you that respect in the first place I doubt he'll start.
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gqsmooth
Dec 16, 2005, 10:46 PM
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So give it a bit and see if he changes his behavior. And if you really aren't intimidated by him, what are you going to do to show him that you find this unacceptable?
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litleclimberchick
Dec 16, 2005, 10:51 PM
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i don't know...
lcc
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talons05
Dec 16, 2005, 10:52 PM
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Not to contribute to any paranoia, but:
If he goes as far as flirting in front of you, you should probably ask yourself how far he will go when you aren't around...
And, SHE'S FOURTEEN! They have a word for that.
Cheers,
A.W.
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gqsmooth
Dec 16, 2005, 10:59 PM
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Shouldn't that be your first question though? And I disagree with all the people thinking that flirting with a 14 year old is illegal, it's not. Doing something with one, however is. It's not the flirting that I think is so disconcerting to those screaming "Statutory!" as the age difference and LCC's displeasure about it is.
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deserteaglle
Dec 16, 2005, 10:59 PM
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Dammit Lcc!!!!! Do NOT be that girl!!!!
If you're sitting there saying the shit you are right now, you're losing your grip on reality and you need to get it back.
That kinda thing is not cool, unless you really don't care about being the chick who gets cheated on/lied to and then lies to themselves because they "love" their boyfriend.
Come on girl...not cool the way things are heading.
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