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Ego climbing ambition and danger
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wayfollower


Mar 20, 2006, 11:30 AM
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Ego climbing ambition and danger
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Hey...bit of a different post...I have this friend who has recently started climbing with me. The problem is he is always annoying me so badly! He argues about everything from his crap gear placements ("there really really fine man chill man one nut half in the crack is fine to ab off!") through to lying about grades he has managed to climb, through to sighing and getting irritated if i want to do a route thats not hardcore enough for him (he actually gets to the top of a great 5.6 and whines it wasn't hard enough and he is going to lead that 5.10 over there as it looks easy). this is all outdoor trad climbing we do and he has already had 3 really dodgy falls from trying to climb 5.9's straight off. he has climbed a total of 5 routes now all 5.8's.
Ok so what i would like to know is obviously ego is coming into this alot, he seems to climb only for the " hardcore " image as he puts it and is unwilling even at my advice to climb anything under 5.8 even though he is very much a novice.
2 questions i guess...1) anyone know anyone like this and whats the best way to stop him annoying me so bloody much when we are out climbing
2) anyone think maybe my ego is playing apart here ie getting worried perhaps if he keeps going like this he will become better climber than me despite my extra experience, or perhaps im just mad because he wont listen to my advice?
please help im thinking of getting rid of him as he is annoying me so much! any advice would be much appreicated cheers!


zozo


Mar 20, 2006, 11:33 AM
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Youer ego is involved insomuch that you continue to climb with insecure little prancer.


Partner tim


Mar 20, 2006, 12:04 PM
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He's gonna splash. Don't be there when he does.

Find another partner to enjoy climbing with.


Partner jammer


Mar 20, 2006, 12:31 PM
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I agree with zozo and tim, but to answer you questions, they are both yes. The difference is that his ego will either get him or someone else killed or maimed, while yours may be holding you back for fear of failing. Ego has to be in check as much as possible.

Find a partner that will help create an enjoyable climb and have fun ... that's what it's all about, eh?


dirtineye


Mar 20, 2006, 12:46 PM
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You didn't say where you guys are climbing, but beware the old school 5.8 LOL!

You two just are not compatible.

Furthermore, trying to convince someone, who,is acting the way your pal is acting, that they are messing up, is just about impossible.


The BEST thing that could happen is that your friend has a very, very close call, lucks out, lives, and changes his ways.

What will more likely happen is that his luck will hold, until one day it doesn't, and then you don't want to be there, and he doesn't either.


tedwarski


Mar 20, 2006, 12:48 PM
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My advice:

You've got the experience. Use it. Get strong, and lead this airhead above his grade... then make him feel like a pansy.

It seems all climbers have ideas of grandeur at some point. Quite often it is worse at the beginning of their climbing careers. Others, like me, have dreams of pulling hard at the beginning of each season (one route usually takes care of that though).

Ted


Partner j_ung


Mar 20, 2006, 12:55 PM
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I only climb with people who are fun to be around while climbing. Doesn't sound like he fits that bill for ya.


justthemaid


Mar 20, 2006, 1:03 PM
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One of my climbing partners is the biggest loud-mouth, obnoxious, ego-maniac I have ever met in my life.

Why do I climb with him you ask? He's got 20 years experience, has climbed big walls, scampers up 5-12s, and basically has more ability and knowledge in his little pinky than me, so I nod and smile and ignore his antics so I can get the benefit of learning from his experience. I'm forced to climb things I normally wouldn't tackle on my own, and in the long run this will make me a better climber.

It doesn't sound like you are getting any such benefits from your climbing partner. If he doesn't have the skill to back up his claims, I'd probably lose him.


far_east_climber


Mar 20, 2006, 1:57 PM
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Tell him what you think of him and hopefully he will realise and develop a safer attitude. If he disregards what you say then just walk away and hope that he will just take up a more docile activity instead. That kind of personality can kill you in climbing... Alternatively you could kidnap him, take him to your basement and systematically torture him with a set of cams, all the way up to the Valley Giants, threatening to stick one of every size in each orifice and increase the size each time he argues with you.


Partner jammer


Mar 20, 2006, 3:04 PM
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In reply to:
... Alternatively you could kidnap him, take him to your basement and systematically torture him with a set of cams, all the way up to the Valley Giants, threatening to stick one of every size in each orifice and increase the size each time he argues with you.

Hope you aren't looking for any partners! :shock:


sidepull


Mar 20, 2006, 3:09 PM
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commas spelling logic and communication


(this isn't a gestalt trick to let your eyes see commas that aren't there, I'm really trying to say that the commas are spelling the words logic and communication with their little comma fingers, that's all) :twisted:


wayfollower


Mar 20, 2006, 3:57 PM
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cheers for the replies! I do have other partners to climb with and they all feel the same way about this guy. i mean when he isnt climbing he is fine really nice guy. Just he seems to hav this twisted view of reality when it comes to climbing!
ive showed a few people the ropes climbing wise and uasally there really cool
and turn into good safe climbers who enjoy the process and the crack! anyway thanks for the replies and perhaps someone out there has had a partner like this guy, who DID come to some kindof grief ?? it seems almost inevitable but perhaps we have more of a margin of safety than us " experienced " climbers imagine? or perhaps not! lol


cam


Mar 20, 2006, 4:11 PM
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12

Ditch him.

This guy is a liability that you don't need. Ego and ambition are one thing but when mixed unchecked with ignorance you get a ticking bomb. If you continue to climb with this dude, he may excell beyond your limits and if you are still climbing with him, he may lead you into a situation that HE can't deal with and then you'll have to get both your asses out of harms way.

People who climb like your friend do not last long. Either they get themselves killed or seriously injured and often they drag their partners down with them. These are the types that find themselves on mountains with wicked weather rolling in and are too stubborn to turn around ultimately becoming a tragic statistic.

These are the people who can't recognize the warning signs and this is not someone you want to have direct influence over your wellbeing.

Once you ditch him, DO NOT EVER CLIMB WITH HIM AGAIN. This guy may very well decide to take you on the ride of your life just to prove he has the stuff to deal with it and these things never work themselves out in a good way.

Seriously dude, walk away while you still can. Trust your gut.

cam out.


wayfollower


Mar 21, 2006, 6:05 AM
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Cheers Cam - your right, the guys getting cut out of the loop! he is already hounding me to go climbing with him though....


Partner angry


Mar 21, 2006, 7:05 AM
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I believe that everyone on this site involves ego in climbing to some degree. I even believe that at least someone will post up that ego isn't part of his/her climbing because he/she is so proud that s/he's managed to keep ego out of climbing.

This guy sounds like he could get really good if he manages to survive his formative years.

He's learning lessons the hard way, he's working out his demons on the sharp end, he's always pushing himself-then pushes a little more.

If you don't enjoy his company, don't climb with him. He's got the motivation to get out and climb regardless of you.

His gear placement seems like a problem though. Some people are highly mechanical and analytical, others aren't. Some people can know how to place gear without ever being taught. Some can't. This guy doesn't sound like he can.

Don't dis on this guy too heavy, he sounds like a typical psyched beginner. I'm sure he could post up about how his partner is unwilling to ever push himself, is scared of all gear placements, and whines if he wants to climb hard.


cam


Mar 21, 2006, 9:06 AM
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15

Angry has a good point. The guy sounds like he is super psyched to get on the stone so he'll likely find a new partner in a heartbeat. You mentioned that he's bugging you to go out and climb...

I once brushed off a less than desirable partner with bull shit stories and we bumped into each other one day at the crag. He was pissed at me and made a point of leading the climb beside us so he could kick dirt and crap down on us from his top-out.

I'd recommend being straight up with him about your feelings with the way he approaches the game. Don't feed him any bull shit stories just to avoid climbing with him. Chances are, you'll bump into him at the crag someday, and it would be best that the two of you are at least on good terms and should respect your concerns if you step up and lay it down.

cam out.


wayfollower


Mar 21, 2006, 1:40 PM
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good point about that. thing is i do push myself and i can relate to him he is exactly as i was when i started except one small point i was honest with myself and others. i learned to place protection and i listened to other more experienced climbers. nothing hard about that! he cant push himself all he wants ut someof the other things he is doing due to his eagerness to appear " hardcore " are inexcusable.


yokese


Mar 21, 2006, 2:45 PM
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In reply to:
My advice:

You've got the experience. Use it. Get strong, and lead this airhead above his grade... then make him feel like a pansy.

I dunno... that way you just enter a competition with an asshole for the "hardcore 5.9 climber award". Nothing to win, a LOT to lose. I rather nod and say: "yeah, you rock, dude.... yeah, you're badass, dude.... yeah, you're the man leading those 5.8s, dude". Then I'd pick up my gear and go the other way to never look back. I'd be happy, the asshole would be happy, problem solved.


Partner jammer


Mar 22, 2006, 5:05 AM
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In reply to:
My advice: You've got the experience. Use it. Get strong, and lead this airhead above his grade... then make him feel like a pansy.

Bad advise and attitude. Thinking like this will get someone hurt ... period. Since you are posting in this forum, I wonder, have you even read the book?

Alan


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