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dondiego
Sep 13, 2002, 4:18 PM
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Ok, loyal followers, partners, and cleaning people that we don't actually pay (we just give them free drinks). The Norman Church of the Holy-Hand-It-To-Me-And-I'll-Drink-It-Down church is looking for a few good members and a few good name ideas. Also. I feel like we could use our own Ten Commandments. Give it to me. Santo Diego
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climbinganne
Sep 13, 2002, 5:45 PM
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thou shalt not wake up without a rightous hangover
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wildtrail
Sep 13, 2002, 5:49 PM
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Ten Commandments: #1 Thou shalt drink beer on a regular basis. #2 Thou shalt not interupt football Sunday for church or religion. #3 Thou shalt never spill thine beer. #4 Thou shalt honor thy drinking companion. #5 Thou shalt mix whenever possible. #6 Thou shalt slur. #7 Thou shalt not drink cheap immitations. #8 Thou shalt honor thy micro-brew. #9 Thou shalt always carry a quarter. #10 Thou shalt always remain in a stupor for as long as possible in order to dull the sharp and painful effects of everyday shitty life. Our church locations are already established. Every college and pro football, baseball, basketball, and hockey rink, stadium, bowl, and arena. Here is the mapping of the order of religion per "location" Football Stadium - This is like Roman Catholic. Very serious. Here we take our drinking and sport to the "Nth" degree. Basketball Arena - Not quite as serious. This is like Lutheran. We take your drinking serious and keep our eye on the game while enjoying philosophical discussions such as "beer helmets". Baseball Stadium - This is Unitarian. Drinking is serious, the sport goes on in the background while we discuss current events like the newest beers on the market and rate them in a "two thumbs up, two thumbs down" manner. Hockey Rink - This Nondinominational. Drinking, again taken seriously. However, not all are into hockey, but like nondinominational religion, you can do what you want. This is to be taken lightly or seriously. The action is always fun, but a thrid rule applies for hockey. Those really "into it" must not be disturbed as during the football game. Those not "into it" must only converse with those that are also not "into it". Our symbol or "cross" can be the barley stalk. More to come... Steve
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betaben
Sep 13, 2002, 5:53 PM
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Thou shalt not drink beer from a bottle found near your partners tent early in the morning.
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climbinganne
Sep 13, 2002, 5:53 PM
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steve....too funny!!!!
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betaben
Sep 13, 2002, 5:53 PM
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Thou shalt drink till you can no longer see your feet. [ This Message was edited by: betaben on 2002-09-13 10:55 ]
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oldandintheway
Sep 13, 2002, 5:57 PM
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One could check a related site at: http://www.commconnections.com/norman/norman.htm Surf related I know but it does give you the gist of our origins. Same church, different pew [ This Message was edited by: oldandintheway on 2002-09-13 10:59 ]
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oldandintheway
Sep 13, 2002, 6:03 PM
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Hey St. D, In order to increase revenue, er, improve the offerings I mean, how about we push those Church Leader Bobblehead dolls we talked about at the Board meeting? Checked the bylaws and they would qualify as genuine church icons! MOB [ This Message was edited by: oldandintheway on 2002-09-13 11:12 ]
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wildtrail
Sep 13, 2002, 6:03 PM
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Thought of some rules. #1 You only drunk when you can no longer hold on to the floor #2 One tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla, floor #3 Crawling is an ideal and engery effecient form of travel #4 Beer is numero uno. Liquor is numero dos #5 Its lick, drink, suck, then repeat #6 Other activities should be furth delayed when taking on the serious task of a six pack. If the wife doesn't understand, then you need a new wife. #7 Sex can be impossible. Just hang in their #8 Ladies, remove the "tricky" undergarments for us. It is had enough when sober. Besides, we don't want to mess with the package. We want the prize. #9 A lemmon or lime in your beer is blasphamy. A real weiss is drinking without a lemmon or lime. Corona is just shitty beer so pee in it for all I care. #10 Any "commandments" not obeyed or adhered to will result in a one day suspension without beer. Steve
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wildtrail
Sep 13, 2002, 6:12 PM
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Oh, thought of another right off the bat. Our "priests, pastors, reverends, and rabbis" are sports heros. Each has their own My god is Brett Favre. Also, "Jesus Christ" would be your favorite sports commentators. I go with Al Michaels. The "Seven Wise Men": Madden, Summeral, Esiason, Long, Collingsworth, Brown, and Bradshaw. There is no immaculate conception. Its all sex. "Seven days and seven nights" was just a good drinking binge. On the first day water was created. On the second day barely was created. On the third day hopps were created. On the fourth day yeast was created. On the fifth day glass was created. On the sixth day tappers were created. On the seventh day drinkers were created. (so stop questioning it) Dan Fouts (Noah) left the animals floating and loaded that boat down with the ingredients and recipes for beer. That is fact, man. Steve
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wildtrail
Sep 13, 2002, 6:17 PM
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Eric, That is good news. I'll get betaben on some purchasing right away. Ben, Buy one for each football, basketball, baseball, and hockey team in the country. Also, don't forget the NCAA sports. Get one pennant for each team in the country as well. Just use the Norman Church company credit card. Steve
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coach
Sep 13, 2002, 6:31 PM
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You should not be close minded and limit church to just where sporting events are held but rather, "Where two or three of you are gathered" for whatever purpose under the influence. Climb On
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betaben
Sep 13, 2002, 6:38 PM
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I'll get on that right away, And I'll send penants to every climbing shop, campground, ski resort, surf shop, and skatepark in the country....
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betaben
Sep 13, 2002, 6:42 PM
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I Have A great slogan for the Church. "God Made Pot, Man Made BEER, WHO DO YOU TRUST"
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climbinganne
Sep 13, 2002, 6:53 PM
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calamity_chk
Sep 13, 2002, 7:18 PM
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hmm .. diego, i dont like this "norman" thing .. it's sounds too close to "normal" .. and what's up with all the beer .. ick! .. and steve, you need to back up for a sec if you feel like you can separate me from my corona .. and where are pledges about vodka, red bull, (malibu) rum .. c'mon guys, give the girlies some fun too, sheesh .. oh, and don, how well do you know mr jose cuervo? i hear he's a hottie, can you hook a sista up??
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climbinganne
Sep 13, 2002, 7:32 PM
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amber...(i love that name) but what you said up there was SACRILEGIOUS!!!!!! I WORSHIP our holy beer
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betaben
Sep 13, 2002, 7:33 PM
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Jose, is very close personal friend of mine. we have spent long evenings together dicussing the mystries of life and love. I'll give him a call tonight and try to hook you up.
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coach
Sep 13, 2002, 7:37 PM
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Ben, I can't remember if we made it to church after the BBQ but from the looks of the pic Anne posted it appears we were on our way! Climb On
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climbinganne
Sep 13, 2002, 7:42 PM
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FOR ALL THOSE NON-BELIEVERS OUT THERE...I'LL SHOW THEM TWO GAWD FEARING MEN ON THEIR WAY TO WORSHIP. coach and betaben...
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betaben
Sep 13, 2002, 7:42 PM
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I can't really remember much at all since i joined this church.
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wildtrail
Sep 13, 2002, 7:55 PM
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Sounds great, Ben. Yes, forgive me for I cannot sin, but I did forget the climbing shops and skateparks. We should write some psalms about them. I'll pull out my guitar. Can you sing? Great pic of you and coach!!! Steve P.S. I trust MAN! Thanks for the beer!
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wildtrail
Sep 13, 2002, 7:56 PM
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Oh, and by the way, Ben. Why remember anything? This faith and church are for the true believer in living in the "now" and a plethera of beer!
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dondiego
Sep 13, 2002, 8:51 PM
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Amber, no problem. Jose is here with me right now. He says hi and that he is definitely interested. So far so good on the commandments but I have to agree with Amber on the need to incorporate a variety of different drinks into the service. Also, no offense guys but if we only hang out at sporting events, the chickies in the church will not be hanging around for that long. I am thinking about walking on water or at least having parties at the lake out on a giant pontoon boat. What do ya think? Santo Diego
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oldandintheway
Sep 13, 2002, 8:54 PM
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I can put the "Liki Tiki" in the water at a moments notice Boss.
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