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kasharp
Mar 27, 2007, 4:03 PM
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how many of you ladies have asked a guy out?
i've never flat out asked a guy out ... not because i think there's anything wrong with it, i just don't have the courage.
i just wonder how common it is.
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granite_grrl
Mar 27, 2007, 5:00 PM
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I haven't dated many guys casually, but I asked most of them. Well, not flat out...more like we'd be talking and it'd be obvious that they were interested. So I'd ask them if they wanted my number or when they were going to ask me out.
It shocked the hell out of them, but I didn't really have the time for them to screw up the courage when I already knew they were interested.
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rushgirl
Mar 27, 2007, 5:54 PM
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I have asked a couple guys out. Of course, we had talked quite a bit previously. I am pretty clueless though, and had to rely on other people to tell me "Hey, that guy is totally in to you". Normaly I don't have that kind of courage. Of course, now that I am married I don't have to even think about that.
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grampacharlie
Mar 27, 2007, 6:05 PM
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I beleive that women in general are better at perceiving small clues (say during a conversation)than men. I have no reason or basis for this statement other than personal experience. It may be that guys aren't that skilled at recognizing subtle social cues, or that we are just terrible about hiding interest in the opposite sex. Could be that we just like strong women... Either way, I think women asking men for their phone numbers/ a date have a greater chance of success than a guy asking a girl.
(and we like to think we're special)
I could be totally inept, but I've had a number of experiences where I was interested in a girl, and she either knew or suspected it, but I could not get a clear read on her. I missed some opportunities, and I made an ass out of myself a few time as well.
Let him know. It's the only way to get a deffinate answer.
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kasharp
Mar 27, 2007, 8:01 PM
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i've definitely said something along the lines of "oh, we're all going to this bar/party/whatever if you want to come"
but never flat out asked.
i don't like the thought of rejection much
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grampacharlie
Mar 27, 2007, 8:18 PM
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ok, kasharp, I just checked out your profile, and if that really is you in those pictures, the guy would have to be an idiot to say no. This opinion is of course based strictly on you looks, and the fact that you're a climber. I do not claim to make any judgement on your personality, though I would assume you have one.
Even the best looking woman in the world knows where every blemish, scar, pimple, dimple, wrinkle, or gray hair exists on her body. It's yours and you see it all the time, therefore you know everything aout it you'd like to improve upon.
Get involved in a good conversation or find out that you share something in common and you're automatically more attractive than any amount of make-up or hair coloring could help with.
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stymingersfink
Mar 29, 2007, 12:44 AM
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...but since you'll think grampacharlie is just a dirty old man, i'll have to do the honors...
if you gave me your number i'd call you.  too bad VA is way over thatta way
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rrrADAM
Mar 29, 2007, 12:54 AM
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grampacharlie wrote: I beleive that women in general are better at perceiving small clues (say during a conversation)than men. I have no reason or basis for this statement other than personal experience. It may be that guys aren't that skilled at recognizing subtle social cues,...
Chicks 'hint' at what they want, and generally (at least for me), we're too stupid to get it, so we need to be told. Conversely, even when we tell chicks what we want or think, they 'misread' it because they listen to our tone and body mannerisms. Easy to see why we have such a hard time communicating at times, as we speak different languages. Men think with their heads (both), and women think with their hearts.
From what I've learned over my 40 years...
Nothing wrong with a chick asking a guy out if she wants to get laid or have fun. If she wants a serious relationship, and wants a guy who will 'follow her', still nothing wrong with it. They're likely the same guys who are 'suave' enough to hit on chicks in chat rooms, forums, and leave overly gracious comments all over a chick's pic like they're foaming at the mouth... See, the anonymity of the Internet gives them courage.
But if the chick wants a guy who'll lead, as in decide where you're going to dinner instead of saying, "I don't know, where do you wanna go?", then you're just asking for it... If a guy doesn't have the balls to ask you out, he's not gonna have the balls to tell you what he wants to do.
Those who don't get the lesson, are doomed to repeat the course.
I wrote this in another thread:
Guy gives a chick his card or number...
If the chick doesn't like the guy, she takes it and says, "thank you."
If she likes him, she takes the card, writes her number on it,and gives it back to him. 
(This post was edited by rrradam on Mar 29, 2007, 1:17 AM)
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stymingersfink
Mar 29, 2007, 2:05 AM
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he's such a cynic. perhaps this derives from too many occasions when the number she has given him rings up the LA County Morgue.
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stymingersfink
Mar 29, 2007, 2:07 AM
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...which is to say: do it girl, some men like (and are secure enough with themselves to enjoy the company of) a strong self-confident woman. If they don't you probably wouldn't enjoy swapping leads with them anyway.
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stonefoxgirl
Mar 29, 2007, 12:05 PM
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just do it. you just plain old ask, hey wanna get some coffee sometime, or wanna get a beer, or what are you up to Saturday I have tickets to a film fest if you want to go. if you don't you will never know.
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climbingbetty22
Mar 29, 2007, 1:32 PM
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stymingersfink wrote: ...which is to say: do it girl, some men like (and are secure enough with themselves to enjoy the company of) a strong self-confident woman. If they don't you probably wouldn't enjoy swapping leads with them anyway.
I beg to differ... in my personal experience, the couple of times I tried to ask a guy out, mistakenly thinking it was the 21st century, did not turn out well as all. It is my personal belief that no matter how many guys say they think it is cool when a girl askes them out, it still offends some deeply-buried evolutionary-thrown-back sentiment and just plain old weirds them out. I ,as rule, do not ask a guy out. Not if I plan on having him around for awhile (more then 1 date).
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wanderlustmd
Mar 29, 2007, 1:48 PM
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Betty, that suprises me about your exp., friends of mine are always genuinely flattered when girls ask them out. Too bad that some people are apparently behind the times, so to speak.
Kasharp, just try to bite the bullet and go for it. Rejection is always never as bad as it seems.
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bizarrodrinker
Mar 29, 2007, 2:02 PM
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I'd go out with a girl who asked me out. Gumption shows character, and I gotta respect that.
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rocksssatin
Mar 29, 2007, 2:59 PM
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bizarrodrinker wrote: I'd go out with a girl who asked me out. Gumption shows character, and I gotta respect that.
Let's say you're talking to a girl. She seems interested. You are intrigued. There's no time though. She has to go or you have to go, and the setting isn't just right for asking somebody out.
What if she writes down her number, gives it to you saying "you just call me if you want" and then she walks away, without leaving any time for replies?
That's what I do. And I usually get that call.
Other times and other circumstances, if a guy is stirring all my hormones I offer myself. No need for words there.
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bizarrodrinker
Mar 29, 2007, 3:08 PM
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rocksssatin wrote: bizarrodrinker wrote: I'd go out with a girl who asked me out. Gumption shows character, and I gotta respect that. Let's say you're talking to a girl. She seems interested. You are intrigued. There's no time though. She has to go or you have to go, and the setting isn't just right for asking somebody out. What if she writes down her number, gives it to you saying "you just call me if you want" and then she walks away, without leaving any time for replies? That's what I do. And I usually get that call. Other times and other circumstances, if a guy is stirring all my hormones I offer myself. No need for words there.
Depends on the circumstances. Am I likely to see said girl again? or is it a chance interaction. If it is the latter, then heck yes I'll call. if its the former, then I will probably just wait until the next encouter and if she doesn't ask, will probably ask her out.
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rocksssatin
Mar 29, 2007, 3:15 PM
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bizarrodrinker wrote: rocksssatin wrote: Let's say you're talking to a girl. She seems interested. You are intrigued. There's no time though. She has to go or you have to go, and the setting isn't just right for asking somebody out. What if she writes down her number, gives it to you saying "you just call me if you want" and then she walks away, without leaving any time for replies? That's what I do. And I usually get that call. Depends on the circumstances. Am I likely to see said girl again? or is it a chance interaction. If it is the latter, then heck yes I'll call. if its the former, then I will probably just wait until the next encouter and if she doesn't ask, will probably ask her out.
and here I don't understand...
do you see anything wrong in the "heck yes I'll call" option if you are likely to see her again?
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bizarrodrinker
Mar 29, 2007, 3:29 PM
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rocksssatin wrote: bizarrodrinker wrote: rocksssatin wrote: Let's say you're talking to a girl. She seems interested. You are intrigued. There's no time though. She has to go or you have to go, and the setting isn't just right for asking somebody out. What if she writes down her number, gives it to you saying "you just call me if you want" and then she walks away, without leaving any time for replies? That's what I do. And I usually get that call. Depends on the circumstances. Am I likely to see said girl again? or is it a chance interaction. If it is the latter, then heck yes I'll call. if its the former, then I will probably just wait until the next encouter and if she doesn't ask, will probably ask her out. and here I don't understand... do you see anything wrong in the "heck yes I'll call" option if you are likely to see her again?
Not at all, but given my lifestyle, it is likely that I met this girl either at a rock gym, snowboarding, or at the crag. If it was at the gym, I am almost guaranteed to see them at the gym again (probably within a week) and it can usually wait a couple days or a week. Unless I am REALLY intrigued, which is doesn't happen a whole lot in the timespan specified.
Meeting in a more remote location warrents a call.
Is that better?
Rest assured though I stay on top of things that I deem worthwhile.
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slablizard
Mar 29, 2007, 3:35 PM
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rocksssatin wrote: bizarrodrinker wrote: I'd go out with a girl who asked me out. Gumption shows character, and I gotta respect that. Let's say you're talking to a girl. She seems interested. You are intrigued. There's no time though. She has to go or you have to go, and the setting isn't just right for asking somebody out. What if she writes down her number, gives it to you saying "you just call me if you want" and then she walks away, without leaving any time for replies? That's what I do. And I usually get that call. Other times and other circumstances, if a guy is stirring all my hormones I offer myself. No need for words there.
An invite like that cannot be ignored. I bet you get the call. Nothing more sensual that a (good looking) woman coming up to you like that.
Welcome Rockssatin.
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rocksssatin
Mar 29, 2007, 3:46 PM
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slablizard wrote: rocksssatin wrote: bizarrodrinker wrote: I'd go out with a girl who asked me out. Gumption shows character, and I gotta respect that. Let's say you're talking to a girl. She seems interested. You are intrigued. There's no time though. She has to go or you have to go, and the setting isn't just right for asking somebody out. What if she writes down her number, gives it to you saying "you just call me if you want" and then she walks away, without leaving any time for replies? That's what I do. And I usually get that call. Other times and other circumstances, if a guy is stirring all my hormones I offer myself. No need for words there. An invite like that cannot be ignored. I bet you get the call. Nothing more sensual that a (good looking) woman coming up to you like that. Welcome Rockssatin.
Thank you slablizard.
Looks like you understand women.
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bizarrodrinker
Mar 29, 2007, 3:55 PM
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rocksssatin wrote: slablizard wrote: rocksssatin wrote: bizarrodrinker wrote: I'd go out with a girl who asked me out. Gumption shows character, and I gotta respect that. Let's say you're talking to a girl. She seems interested. You are intrigued. There's no time though. She has to go or you have to go, and the setting isn't just right for asking somebody out. What if she writes down her number, gives it to you saying "you just call me if you want" and then she walks away, without leaving any time for replies? That's what I do. And I usually get that call. Other times and other circumstances, if a guy is stirring all my hormones I offer myself. No need for words there. An invite like that cannot be ignored. I bet you get the call. Nothing more sensual that a (good looking) woman coming up to you like that. Welcome Rockssatin. Thank you slablizard. Looks like you understand women.
When has understanding ever had anything to do with personal preference?
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slablizard
Mar 29, 2007, 3:59 PM
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rocksssatin wrote: slablizard wrote: rocksssatin wrote: bizarrodrinker wrote: I'd go out with a girl who asked me out. Gumption shows character, and I gotta respect that. Let's say you're talking to a girl. She seems interested. You are intrigued. There's no time though. She has to go or you have to go, and the setting isn't just right for asking somebody out. What if she writes down her number, gives it to you saying "you just call me if you want" and then she walks away, without leaving any time for replies? That's what I do. And I usually get that call. Other times and other circumstances, if a guy is stirring all my hormones I offer myself. No need for words there. An invite like that cannot be ignored. I bet you get the call. Nothing more sensual that a (good looking) woman coming up to you like that. Welcome Rockssatin. Thank you slablizard. Looks like you understand women.
Thanks, I'll do my best.... besides if you don't respond to an invite like that you either dead or in a coma.
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rocksssatin
Mar 29, 2007, 6:48 PM
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bizarrodrinker wrote: When has understanding ever had anything to do with personal preference?
you're right
but I felt understood by his reply.
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bizarrodrinker
Mar 29, 2007, 6:56 PM
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rocksssatin wrote: bizarrodrinker wrote: When has understanding ever had anything to do with personal preference? you're right but I felt understood by his reply.
i never claimed to understand women. In fact, I probably rival George Costanza on the subject.
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slablizard
Mar 29, 2007, 7:04 PM
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bizarrodrinker wrote: When has understanding ever had anything to do with personal preference?
How do you call it when you can understand what a woman is trying to tell you?
She gives you her number...she looks at you..what else you need, a sign?
It is implied that she is a good looking woman, she has to be to be so sure of herself to make a move like that.
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