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pappy


Apr 10, 2007, 5:23 PM
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lazy friends = no fun.
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When I go climbing/bouldering at a climbing gym near my house my with my friends they seem to loose interest very fast. When they stop i will climb a lil by myself they may appear while im bouldering or they'll go off and get something t eat. But my question is how can i stay in the right state of mind to climb by myself and still have a good time? I mean I can boulder only for so long by myself until i tell them im ready to go. Unsure


arnoilgner


Apr 11, 2007, 6:38 AM
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Re: [pappy] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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hey pappy,
it is nice and helpful to have a support group of friends to encourage each other. but ultimately you need to find your own motivation. i'm at the climbing festival here in australia and peter croft just gave his presentation on why he solos. seems like he began because his friends wanted to go drink at the pub at mid afternoon. he still wanted to climb so he began soloing mainly so he could climb. if you want to climb...climb. can't be dependent on other folks.
arno


Partner robdotcalm


Apr 11, 2007, 8:37 PM
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Re: [arnoilgner] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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arnoilgner wrote:
hey pappy,
it is nice and helpful to have a support group of friends to encourage each other. but ultimately you need to find your own motivation. i'm at the climbing festival here in australia and peter croft just gave his presentation on why he solos. seems like he began because his friends wanted to go drink at the pub at mid afternoon. he still wanted to climb so he began soloing mainly so he could climb. if you want to climb...climb. can't be dependent on other folks.
arno

If somebody wants to solo, that's their business and it's OK. But I don't think it's appropriate to recommend to someone that he should start soloing.

Cheers,
Rob.calm


arnoilgner


Apr 12, 2007, 5:36 AM
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hi pappy and rob,
...clarification...
i didn't mean to say you should start soloing. my intention was to say that you have to find ways to climb or find climbing partners that will help you accomplish what you want from climbing. peter croft was only an example of someone who took it upon himself to DO something instead of wishing his buddies wouldn't go to the pub drinking and would rather continue climbing with him.
sorry for the confusion.
arno


pappy


Apr 12, 2007, 4:04 PM
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haha it's all good, I don't have nough balls to solo Tongue


primus


May 18, 2007, 10:27 AM
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Re: [pappy] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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Pappy,

I agree with Arno that you should have your own motivation to climb; however, it is nice to have a group of motivated, positive climbers to climb with--it can make the experience all the more enjoyable. Perhaps you should seek out some other people to climb with? I'm not saying to ditch your friends, but rather expand your circle.



Hope this helps,

P-R-I-M-U-S


(This post was edited by primus on May 31, 2007, 12:33 PM)


pappy


May 18, 2007, 6:51 PM
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yeah, thanks. Smile


lichenchica


May 21, 2007, 5:53 PM
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Re: [primus] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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In reply to:
[I have dealt with a similar experience, but instead of a lack of motivation, it was a poor attitude. One particular climbing partner is always very excited to go climbing; he talks and talks about all the routes he's going to lead, but his attitude worsens in direct proportion to how close we get to the crag.

Interesting...I have a partner with the opposite problem, not lazy=no fun and not poor attitude=no fun, but a sort of opposite of that...a sort of over-exuberance=not fun.

This partner seems to push and push and push...at the crag, planning to go to crag, in conversations about climbing, and in response to others (climbers or not) who bring up climbing. It's become really irritating, especially since I work with this person, and it seems like she is either always trying to push me into making plans with her, and getting really angry if my plans change, sometimes she is pushing me into getting over my head at the crag while boasting about how awesome she is doing and telling me how she sent such and such or so and so, or she is pushing her opinions about climbing to me when we aren't climbing at all, but chit-chatting over a cup of java prior to a meeting.

It's become so annoying that I really don't want to hang with her, which is also unfortunate because I think she is a talented and inspiring climber, but her know-it-all attitude is really a bummer!

Interesting how vastly different problems can cause a similar reaction!


Salix


May 22, 2007, 11:36 AM
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primus


May 22, 2007, 12:28 PM
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Re: [Salix] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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Salix wrote:
Isn’t it remarkable that you can read a book like the Rock Warrior’s Way, possibly attend an Arno Ilgner clinic, and suddenly, it’s like the whole world opens up for you and you now see everyone and everything in a whole new light.

People are different, in fact, it seems like everyone you know is faced with all the challenges Ilgner describes in his book—everyone, that is but you.

Although I do feel that reading Arno's book and attending one of his clinics helped me in many ways, I most certainly do not view myself as separate from everyone else. The problems Arno speaks of in his book are the exact problems that I work on--and continue to work on every day.

Salix wrote:
You have no fear, and you fear nothing anymore. You rope up, step out on lead, and you are brimming with confidence, power, diligence, awareness. Fear does not embrace you, but you embrace fear and dance with it in a marvelous dance of oneness on the rock. You never allow yourself to feel angry, or frustrated, or scared anymore!
Again, I have to say that this does not describe me. I don't think Arno means for anybody in climbing to be devoid of fear; rather, he provides a way in which to deal with fear--one that puts us in the pilot's seat. Climbing--or any other activity that involves risk--is not the place for a blank mind. Use fear to your advantage because it can keep you alive.


Salix wrote:
The people you are climbing with are the unfortunate ones, they are the unenlightened, the ones wrapped up in a black cloak of fear. Negativity is their disease and their minds are constantly interfering with their ability to even get tied in.

It becomes necessary to seek out these new partners, and to harbor them close.

You hope, like an abused woman, that your old partners will change—that they will rearrange their behavior and become positive like you. But you know, already, that your perception of them is altered forever. You are on the path of being a warrior. You cannot allow yourself to lose energy to a poor, hapless soul who will never be positive, never aware, never a warrior.

This is a bit over the top for me, but that's just me.


heavydude


Jun 27, 2007, 8:27 PM
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Re: [primus] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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"Again, I have to say that this does not describe me. I don't think Arno means for anybody in climbing to be devoid of fear; rather, he provides a way in which to deal with fear--one that puts us in the pilot's seat. Climbing--or any other activity that involves risk--is not the place for a blank mind. Use fear to your advantage because it can keep you alive."

I had moved away from my friends to a small town devoid of climbers. I got married had a child and started a business. In the process I got fat and bored, I realized that several years had passed and I really missed climbing. So I decided to remedy the situation, I called up my old climbing buddy and made a firm date to do a six pitch climb in three months. I went to the gym and started a diet and got some fitness. I also inspired my friend to meet in the mountains for some training days prior to this climb so as to remember how to climb.

The climb I chose was an easy grade, but very exposed, involving 150m rap down a 250 m cliff to reach the start of the climb.

We did the raps without problem, but for the first two pitches of climbing I was fearful of everything and wasn't enjoying the day. It wasn't until I thought about the situation, that the only way home was up the cliff face, that I have climbed much harder, that it wasn't really all that dangerous as the climb was well bolted, after I worked through it I got my head together. I distinctly remember saying to myself that I can do this climb. From then on I climbed without fear, just as Salix explained. That day was a great day of climbing. I search for that feeling of confidence and fearlessness every time I climb now. Some days its not there, but when it is the climbing seems effortless.


desertwanderer81


Oct 10, 2007, 10:22 PM
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Re: [lichenchica] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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lichenchica wrote:
In reply to:
[I have dealt with a similar experience, but instead of a lack of motivation, it was a poor attitude. One particular climbing partner is always very excited to go climbing; he talks and talks about all the routes he's going to lead, but his attitude worsens in direct proportion to how close we get to the crag.

Interesting...I have a partner with the opposite problem, not lazy=no fun and not poor attitude=no fun, but a sort of opposite of that...a sort of over-exuberance=not fun.

This partner seems to push and push and push...at the crag, planning to go to crag, in conversations about climbing, and in response to others (climbers or not) who bring up climbing. It's become really irritating, especially since I work with this person, and it seems like she is either always trying to push me into making plans with her, and getting really angry if my plans change, sometimes she is pushing me into getting over my head at the crag while boasting about how awesome she is doing and telling me how she sent such and such or so and so, or she is pushing her opinions about climbing to me when we aren't climbing at all, but chit-chatting over a cup of java prior to a meeting.

It's become so annoying that I really don't want to hang with her, which is also unfortunate because I think she is a talented and inspiring climber, but her know-it-all attitude is really a bummer!

Interesting how vastly different problems can cause a similar reaction!

Ha! I wish my climbing partners were like that! Then again if I had my way, I'd be climbing every day ;)


kickasssoprano


Jul 22, 2010, 10:02 AM
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Re: [pappy] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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I used to have this problem, lots of my friends gas out after about an hour or two (route climbing or bouldering). I live in a city in Canada so I have no choice but to do the majority of my climbing/ bouldering indoors :(. When I first started bouldering, I would get bored after about an hour on my own but now, I can boulder on my own for three hours +
some days I actually prefer to be on my own and find that I climb better when I'm not with anyone who knows how I usually climb-

Try more bouldering, it'll make you stronger and you only have to stick to your own schedule! Smile


ClimbClimb


Jul 28, 2010, 7:59 AM
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Re: [lichenchica] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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lichenchica wrote:
Interesting...I have a partner with the opposite problem, not lazy=no fun and not poor attitude=no fun, but a sort of opposite of that...a sort of over-exuberance=not fun.

This partner seems to push and push and push...at the crag, planning to go to crag, in conversations about climbing, and in response to others (climbers or not) who bring up climbing.

Send him/her over. :-) Sounds great, actually. Some people are more serious about climbing than others.


guangzhou


Aug 1, 2010, 9:43 PM
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When i lived in Tn, I had a similar problem. With a local crag, I was able to vist and climb the cliff three or four days a week, then head out to other destinations on weekends.

My partners would come down tot he bluff, play for a couple hour and be done. In many cases, I had no partners to go climb with. I was willing to go at 5 in the morning to get some climbing in before work, or in the evening after work, but many of partners had better things to do. (Drink beer and eat pizza being at the top of the list.)

Personally, I invested in a soloist and hit the cliffs alone. Like Arno mentioned above, motivation needs to come from within.

I currently have a bouldering wall in my garage and not many partner. My wife doesn't want to train or boulder as much as me, so I turn on some tunes and boulder alone during the week. My wife joins me on occasions, and we climb outside on weekends.

I recommend you give yourself a boudlering goal next time your friend leave you alone to boulder. One of my favorite goal is a set number of round-trip traverses on my all. I don't share the goal with others, it's a personal goal.


My two cents
Eman


userdude


Dec 11, 2010, 4:01 AM
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Re: [pappy] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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I know what you mean. Some of the people I boulder with would rather sit around and play with their shoes all day and 'talk' climbing. I don't get it.


jacques


Mar 5, 2011, 7:23 PM
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Re: [pappy] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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pappy wrote:
they seem to loose interest very fast. When they stop i will climb a lil by myself they may appear while im bouldering or they'll go off and get something t eat.
Motivating other people is also and other version of climbing in a groupe, As one can be motivate to climb better than the other, some can be demotivate to climb too hard stuff for their level. Increasing the difficulty of a route by avoiding a hole or taking a hole from the wrong side without telling the other and don't try a route so many time that the other can't climb. these are two way to motivate them. after three try of an harder way, come back to the bottom and give at the other the chance to climb is motivating for a group. after you did that many time, you will be boring that you can not climb at your level. So it is a good way to climb with other climber around and to make new team, even if you have already a partner. I'm always supprised that climber stick with one partner and don't have lower level partner, egual partner, stronger partner and an retire guide partner to climb with. In that way, you train all aspect of climbing.


dan2see


Oct 7, 2011, 7:29 AM
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Re: [pappy] lazy friends = no fun. [In reply to]
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There are two issues here, and you should keep them separate.

1. When you're dealing with people, you can't place an order, and expect delivery. They are going to do what they're going to do. You can invite them to participate, encourage them, even lead them. Then, if they come along, great. If they sit on a rock and tell stories, well that's what they're going to do.

Sometimes folks will follow you, more often they won't. Don't give up, and try to be flexible.

2. For yourself, you must follow your heart, and keep sight of your goals. You have to do what you want to do, and you have to keep doing it your way. As you work toward your own goals, you can congratulate yourself on your progress, and always remain proud of your path.


damienclimber


Oct 14, 2011, 5:57 PM
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dan2see wrote:
There are two issues here, and you should keep them separate.

1. When you're dealing with people, you can't place an order, and expect delivery. They are going to do what they're going to do. You can invite them to participate, encourage them, even lead them. Then, if they come along, great. If they sit on a rock and tell stories, well that's what they're going to do.

Sometimes folks will follow you, more often they won't. Don't give up, and try to be flexible.

2. For yourself, you must follow your heart, and keep sight of your goals. You have to do what you want to do, and you have to keep doing it your way. As you work toward your own goals, you can congratulate yourself on your progress, and always remain proud of your path.

hmmn, interesting perspective?
or find different partners


dan2see


Oct 14, 2011, 8:02 PM
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damienclimber wrote:
...
hmmn, interesting perspective?
or find different partners

You gotta keep trying, you gotta stay positive.
It can take a long time to work with consistent partners.
Eventually it all falls into place, and you win.
Then you move on...


tH1e-swiN1e


Oct 26, 2011, 4:29 PM
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I climb alone all the time. Once you get the bug you dont need friends lol,


jamesnater


Nov 23, 2011, 4:07 PM
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tH1e-swiN1e wrote:
I climb alone all the time. Once you get the bug you dont need friends lol,
Quoted for truth.

My room mate climbs with me from time to time. I live in WA so this is the season to climb indoors, even then I find myself bouldering alone on the days I REALLY REALLY want to toprope/lead climb. I have 3 friends who all climb occasionally. I need new friends that are as stoked as I am... Unsure


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