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bizarrodrinker


Sep 28, 2007, 5:19 AM
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Re: [taydude] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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person x: So what do you do if the gear you put in fails?

me: let out a scream and fall to an untimely death.

person x: oh. that would suck I guess.


rymep


Sep 28, 2007, 11:53 AM
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Re: [bizarrodrinker] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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bizarrodrinker wrote:
person x: So what do you do if the gear you put in fails?

me: let out a scream and fall to an untimely death.

person x: oh. that would suck I guess.

i've had this one myself.


cupocofi


Jan 7, 2008, 12:59 PM
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Re: [shimanilami] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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One evening in a social function, one girl asks the people in the group: "So, what do you guys do for exercise?"

One guy--probably trying to impress the girl--says, "Well, I lift weights."

So then I answered: "Me? ... I just lift my own weight ..."

To which the girl replied, "Haha ... Yes, I do that to ... I lift my own weight 300m every day to and from the Metro station ... You know, that's a LOT of WORK!"

And I replied, "(chuckles) Indeed ..." Laugh


monkeychild


Jan 7, 2008, 1:37 PM
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Re: [cupocofi] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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"What are all those ribbons doing on the wall, holding the decorations up there?"

~70 yr. old man upon visiting the gym to pick up his grandkid.


jermanimal


Jan 7, 2008, 1:53 PM
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Re: [jefffski] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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"Is that a safe knot?"

"Are those special shoes?"

"Why?"

At bar as explaining a crux to friend...then from someone else at bar, "What are you doing?" or "Nice ellen dance."


Hennessey


Jan 7, 2008, 6:46 PM
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Re: [jefffski] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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The jackasses I work with think that climbing at the gym is considered mountainclimbing.


carabiner96


Jan 7, 2008, 7:21 PM
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Re: [Hennessey] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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Hennessey wrote:
The jackasses I work with think that climbing at the gym is considered mountainclimbing.

Those jackasses! For shame!


Rocknovice


Jan 7, 2008, 7:26 PM
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This story is from the cute not dumb catagory:

I took my 5 year old to the gym for the first time with dreams of beginning a lifetime of climbing together. He got about half way up the wall and froze. He told me he was scared but would not let me lower him. I told him I would bring him down and he screamed "rock climbing is stupid". When he got to the bottom I asked if he wanted to try again. He said, "yeah, maybe when I'm like 15." There is always hope for his 3 year old brother...


(This post was edited by Rocknovice on Jan 7, 2008, 7:35 PM)


h4lf_rope


Jan 7, 2008, 7:44 PM
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Re: [jefffski] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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Forget non-climbers, try climbers.

Upon seeing my partner a guy at the crag remarked that "She should get herself a pink rope."

He shut up after she flashed a route that he'd been hang dogging.


jdefazio


Jan 7, 2008, 8:37 PM
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h4lf_rope wrote:
Forget non-climbers, try climbers.

Upon seeing my partner a guy at the crag remarked that "She should get herself a pink rope."

He shut up after she flashed a route that he'd been hang dogging.

funny 2 me...
I own a pink rope (pink is the new black, btw). When I got it, my wife asked me why I bought a girl's rope.


miavzero


Jan 7, 2008, 8:44 PM
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Imagine geologists starting a thread "dumb things non geologists say", or Doctors discussing "dumb things their patients say". Don't you think that a group of doctors would enjoy laughing about the idiots that do not know the radial vs ulnar side of their forearm?
All of you elitist climbers can go to hell, because none of you are more or less valuable than a Big Gulp toting NASCAR fan yelling yelling questions to all of us "freehanders" as we "scale the mountain" at our local crag.


cavanaghrock


Jan 7, 2008, 9:04 PM
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Re: [jefffski] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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All right, this is something stupid a "climber" said, though I hate to call him that.

One day about two years ago, my buddy and I were climbing at Stoney Point, and some douchey boulderer who thought he was God’s gift to rock decided to attach himself to us for the day. Even though he wasn’t even that good of a climber, he was screaming out move-by-move beta on every problem we did. After about ten minutes I wanted break his wrists so he could never bother anyone on the rock again. The three of us turn a corner and BAM, walk smack into Michael Reardon. My buddy and I were slack-jawed in awe, but King Douche obviously had no idea who he was. Reardon stepped up to do a pretty stiff high ball, and this tool looks at him and says, “Hey, you want the beta for that problem?”

Doesn’t get much stupider than that.


jmagnus17


Jan 7, 2008, 9:57 PM
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cavanaghrock wrote:
All right, this is something stupid a "climber" said, though I hate to call him that.

One day about two years ago, my buddy and I were climbing at Stoney Point, and some douchey boulderer who thought he was God’s gift to rock decided to attach himself to us for the day. Even though he wasn’t even that good of a climber, he was screaming out move-by-move beta on every problem we did. After about ten minutes I wanted break his wrists so he could never bother anyone on the rock again. The three of us turn a corner and BAM, walk smack into Michael Reardon. My buddy and I were slack-jawed in awe, but King Douche obviously had no idea who he was. Reardon stepped up to do a pretty stiff high ball, and this tool looks at him and says, “Hey, you want the beta for that problem?”

Doesn’t get much stupider than that.

Now THAT is some funny shit! What was Reardon's reaction? If I were in Reardon's position... I would have just laughed and said "Sure thing dude, can you show me too?"


sungam


Jan 8, 2008, 1:23 AM
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jmagnus17 wrote:
"Sure thing dude, can you show me too?"

>.<


timd


Jan 8, 2008, 2:18 AM
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I can't believe it, 8 pages and no mention of the worst of the worst. Let me explain.

My wife was introducing me to a friend and proceeded to tell this friend that I was a climber and mountaineer. She simplified the latter by stating that I climb mountains. Her friend looks at me and says. "Oh, like VERTICAL LIMIT".Mad


cupocofi


Jan 8, 2008, 1:42 PM
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Re: [miavzero] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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miavzero wrote:
Imagine geologists starting a thread "dumb things non geologists say", or Doctors discussing "dumb things their patients say".

Oh, we engineers do that too. My favorite:

"So does 25 kN mean that I need 3 of these to support my weight?"


gt29905


Jan 8, 2008, 2:38 PM
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miavzero wrote:
Imagine geologists starting a thread "dumb things non geologists say", or Doctors discussing "dumb things their patients say". Don't you think that a group of doctors would enjoy laughing about the idiots that do not know the radial vs ulnar side of their forearm?
All of you elitist climbers can go to hell, because none of you are more or less valuable than a Big Gulp toting NASCAR fan yelling yelling questions to all of us "freehanders" as we "scale the mountain" at our local crag.

I couldn't agree more. In my opinion elitism of any kind is born from insecurity. Although, it doesn't hurt to have a laugh at someone's simple ignorance. As long as it's done with respect for the fact that we were all ignorant at some point. Never forget those early flailing gumby days, sometimes I miss them.


quadfire


Jan 8, 2008, 2:53 PM
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Re: [miavzero] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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miavzero wrote:
Imagine geologists starting a thread "dumb things non geologists say", or Doctors discussing "dumb things their patients say". Don't you think that a group of doctors would enjoy laughing about the idiots that do not know the radial vs ulnar side of their forearm?
All of you elitist climbers can go to hell, because none of you are more or less valuable than a Big Gulp toting NASCAR fan yelling yelling questions to all of us "freehanders" as we "scale the mountain" at our local crag.

The funny thing is that you think they don't have those conversations.


m-earle


Jan 8, 2008, 4:02 PM
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After hearing from my mother that i was going to try to climb el-cap, my grandmother said "make sure he gets away from the edge when he gets to the top."


danep


Jan 8, 2008, 9:52 PM
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Re: [timd] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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timd wrote:
"Oh, like VERTICAL LIMIT".Mad

Oh no. No no no. It gets much worse than vertical limit. I take it you've never seen Sub Zero? Apart from all of the other plot holes (like climbing a K2 with trees on it without hat, gloves or goggles in order to retrieve a glorified Rubik's cube with the inexplicable power to destroy the world), it also makes heavy use of "piton guns" and mysterious life-saving "safety lines" (a la "oh my god, the avalanche is coming and going to pull us off the cliff - quick, use your safety line!")

Ironically, I think the only people who will ever get any enjoyment out of it will be climbers enjoying the idiocy of it all...


jmagnus17


Jan 8, 2008, 10:45 PM
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I didn't really have anything special to say until very recently... I dunno necessarily what this is but...

I climb very often at my local gym since I don't live somewhere where I can climb outside in the winter...

So today I was joking with a friend and solo'd some 40' easy peasy route... and I get to the top and then climb down and this middle-aged man comes over and says, "I don't mean to be an asshole, but don't do that again while I'm here"

Now... it's not necessarily a dumb thing for him to say... but... it's like... wtf? He wasn't an employee and had never been to the gym before ...


timd


Jan 8, 2008, 10:50 PM
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danep wrote:
timd wrote:
"Oh, like VERTICAL LIMIT".Mad

Oh no. No no no. It gets much worse than vertical limit. I take it you've never seen Sub Zero? Apart from all of the other plot holes (like climbing a K2 with trees on it without hat, gloves or goggles in order to retrieve a glorified Rubik's cube with the inexplicable power to destroy the world), it also makes heavy use of "piton guns" and mysterious life-saving "safety lines" (a la "oh my god, the avalanche is coming and going to pull us off the cliff - quick, use your safety line!")

Ironically, I think the only people who will ever get any enjoyment out of it will be climbers enjoying the idiocy of it all...
Oh shit man, I totally forgot about that useless waste of film. You, of course are correct! that is the worst. You have to admit though, that chick is kinda hot.


danep


Jan 8, 2008, 10:59 PM
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In reply to:
So today I was joking with a friend and solo'd some 40' easy peasy route... and I get to the top and then climb down and this middle-aged man comes over and says, "I don't mean to be an asshole, but don't do that again while I'm here"

... please tell me you are trolling. If not, how old are you exactly? I've never been to a gym that would be even remotely okay with someone free soloing above shoulder height. Even if you think you know what you are doing, you have no idea what shape the holds are in and whether there could be spinners or not. And it's not just your own life you're putting at risk. What if you were to fall and land on someone?

Even if this "middle-aged man" didn't work at the gym, he probably still has a vested interest in not seeing it get shut down when a kid like you goes and does something stupid and then your parents somehow find a way to pin responsibility on the gym.


(This post was edited by danep on Jan 8, 2008, 10:59 PM)


danep


Jan 8, 2008, 11:03 PM
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Re: [jmagnus17] dumb things non climbers say [In reply to]
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jmagnus17 wrote:
So today I was joking with a friend and solo'd some 40' easy peasy route... and I get to the top and then climb down and this middle-aged man comes over and says, "I don't mean to be an asshole, but don't do that again while I'm here"

Also judging by your profile and ascent log I don't think you're at the level where you can get off calling anything "easy peasy."


jmagnus17


Jan 8, 2008, 11:17 PM
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danep wrote:
Also judging by your profile and ascent log I don't think you're at the level where you can get off calling anything "easy peasy."

Wow, you made a lot of assumptions in those two posts. Good work!

Added: To answer your question, I'm not a kid (under 18, even under 21) ... you are correct about the fact that most gyms don't let people go over shoulder height...

I'm sorry if this upsets you. And in regards to spinners etc: 1) I am aware of the risks, 2) most routes that are "easy peasy" that are indeed freaking "easy peasy" generally have sooo many effing jugs and massive gargantuan foot-holds that it's not an issue. I bet I could campus that entire route... in fact, tomorrow, I think I'll give it a shot


(This post was edited by jmagnus17 on Jan 8, 2008, 11:24 PM)

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