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bizarrodrinker
Sep 28, 2007, 12:19 PM
Post #176 of 246
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Registered: Dec 20, 2005
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person x: So what do you do if the gear you put in fails?
me: let out a scream and fall to an untimely death.
person x: oh. that would suck I guess.
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rymep
Sep 28, 2007, 6:53 PM
Post #177 of 246
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Registered: Jun 9, 2006
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bizarrodrinker wrote: person x: So what do you do if the gear you put in fails? me: let out a scream and fall to an untimely death. person x: oh. that would suck I guess.
i've had this one myself.
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cupocofi
Jan 7, 2008, 8:59 PM
Post #178 of 246
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Registered: Jun 12, 2007
Posts: 2
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One evening in a social function, one girl asks the people in the group: "So, what do you guys do for exercise?"
One guy--probably trying to impress the girl--says, "Well, I lift weights."
So then I answered: "Me? ... I just lift my own weight ..."
To which the girl replied, "Haha ... Yes, I do that to ... I lift my own weight 300m every day to and from the Metro station ... You know, that's a LOT of WORK!"
And I replied, "(chuckles) Indeed ..." 
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monkeychild
Jan 7, 2008, 9:37 PM
Post #179 of 246
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Registered: Mar 11, 2007
Posts: 125
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"What are all those ribbons doing on the wall, holding the decorations up there?"
~70 yr. old man upon visiting the gym to pick up his grandkid.
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jermanimal
Jan 7, 2008, 9:53 PM
Post #180 of 246
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Registered: Nov 7, 2007
Posts: 200
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"Is that a safe knot?"
"Are those special shoes?"
"Why?"
At bar as explaining a crux to friend...then from someone else at bar, "What are you doing?" or "Nice ellen dance."
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Hennessey
Jan 8, 2008, 2:46 AM
Post #181 of 246
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Registered: Dec 3, 2007
Posts: 595
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The jackasses I work with think that climbing at the gym is considered mountainclimbing.
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carabiner96
Jan 8, 2008, 3:21 AM
Post #182 of 246
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Registered: Apr 10, 2006
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Hennessey wrote: The jackasses I work with think that climbing at the gym is considered mountainclimbing.
Those jackasses! For shame!
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Rocknovice
Jan 8, 2008, 3:26 AM
Post #183 of 246
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Registered: Mar 21, 2007
Posts: 228
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This story is from the cute not dumb catagory:
I took my 5 year old to the gym for the first time with dreams of beginning a lifetime of climbing together. He got about half way up the wall and froze. He told me he was scared but would not let me lower him. I told him I would bring him down and he screamed "rock climbing is stupid". When he got to the bottom I asked if he wanted to try again. He said, "yeah, maybe when I'm like 15." There is always hope for his 3 year old brother...
(This post was edited by Rocknovice on Jan 8, 2008, 3:35 AM)
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h4lf_rope
Jan 8, 2008, 3:44 AM
Post #184 of 246
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Registered: Nov 25, 2007
Posts: 44
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Forget non-climbers, try climbers.
Upon seeing my partner a guy at the crag remarked that "She should get herself a pink rope."
He shut up after she flashed a route that he'd been hang dogging.
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jdefazio
Jan 8, 2008, 4:37 AM
Post #185 of 246
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Registered: Oct 29, 2007
Posts: 228
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h4lf_rope wrote: Forget non-climbers, try climbers. Upon seeing my partner a guy at the crag remarked that "She should get herself a pink rope." He shut up after she flashed a route that he'd been hang dogging.
funny 2 me...
I own a pink rope (pink is the new black, btw). When I got it, my wife asked me why I bought a girl's rope.
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miavzero
Jan 8, 2008, 4:44 AM
Post #186 of 246
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Registered: Oct 8, 2005
Posts: 624
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Imagine geologists starting a thread "dumb things non geologists say", or Doctors discussing "dumb things their patients say". Don't you think that a group of doctors would enjoy laughing about the idiots that do not know the radial vs ulnar side of their forearm?
All of you elitist climbers can go to hell, because none of you are more or less valuable than a Big Gulp toting NASCAR fan yelling yelling questions to all of us "freehanders" as we "scale the mountain" at our local crag.
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cavanaghrock
Jan 8, 2008, 5:04 AM
Post #187 of 246
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Registered: Sep 25, 2006
Posts: 29
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All right, this is something stupid a "climber" said, though I hate to call him that.
One day about two years ago, my buddy and I were climbing at Stoney Point, and some douchey boulderer who thought he was God’s gift to rock decided to attach himself to us for the day. Even though he wasn’t even that good of a climber, he was screaming out move-by-move beta on every problem we did. After about ten minutes I wanted break his wrists so he could never bother anyone on the rock again. The three of us turn a corner and BAM, walk smack into Michael Reardon. My buddy and I were slack-jawed in awe, but King Douche obviously had no idea who he was. Reardon stepped up to do a pretty stiff high ball, and this tool looks at him and says, “Hey, you want the beta for that problem?”
Doesn’t get much stupider than that.
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jmagnus17
Jan 8, 2008, 5:57 AM
Post #188 of 246
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Registered: Dec 27, 2007
Posts: 39
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cavanaghrock wrote: All right, this is something stupid a "climber" said, though I hate to call him that. One day about two years ago, my buddy and I were climbing at Stoney Point, and some douchey boulderer who thought he was God’s gift to rock decided to attach himself to us for the day. Even though he wasn’t even that good of a climber, he was screaming out move-by-move beta on every problem we did. After about ten minutes I wanted break his wrists so he could never bother anyone on the rock again. The three of us turn a corner and BAM, walk smack into Michael Reardon. My buddy and I were slack-jawed in awe, but King Douche obviously had no idea who he was. Reardon stepped up to do a pretty stiff high ball, and this tool looks at him and says, “Hey, you want the beta for that problem?” Doesn’t get much stupider than that.
Now THAT is some funny shit! What was Reardon's reaction? If I were in Reardon's position... I would have just laughed and said "Sure thing dude, can you show me too?"
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sungam
Jan 8, 2008, 9:23 AM
Post #189 of 246
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Registered: Jun 24, 2004
Posts: 26804
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jmagnus17 wrote: "Sure thing dude, can you show me too?"
>.<
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timd
Jan 8, 2008, 10:18 AM
Post #190 of 246
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Registered: Dec 21, 2003
Posts: 862
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I can't believe it, 8 pages and no mention of the worst of the worst. Let me explain.
My wife was introducing me to a friend and proceeded to tell this friend that I was a climber and mountaineer. She simplified the latter by stating that I climb mountains. Her friend looks at me and says. "Oh, like VERTICAL LIMIT".
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cupocofi
Jan 8, 2008, 9:42 PM
Post #191 of 246
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Registered: Jun 12, 2007
Posts: 2
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miavzero wrote: Imagine geologists starting a thread "dumb things non geologists say", or Doctors discussing "dumb things their patients say".
Oh, we engineers do that too. My favorite:
"So does 25 kN mean that I need 3 of these to support my weight?"
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gt29905
Jan 8, 2008, 10:38 PM
Post #192 of 246
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Registered: Oct 1, 2005
Posts: 167
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miavzero wrote: Imagine geologists starting a thread "dumb things non geologists say", or Doctors discussing "dumb things their patients say". Don't you think that a group of doctors would enjoy laughing about the idiots that do not know the radial vs ulnar side of their forearm? All of you elitist climbers can go to hell, because none of you are more or less valuable than a Big Gulp toting NASCAR fan yelling yelling questions to all of us "freehanders" as we "scale the mountain" at our local crag.
I couldn't agree more. In my opinion elitism of any kind is born from insecurity. Although, it doesn't hurt to have a laugh at someone's simple ignorance. As long as it's done with respect for the fact that we were all ignorant at some point. Never forget those early flailing gumby days, sometimes I miss them.
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quadfire
Jan 8, 2008, 10:53 PM
Post #193 of 246
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Registered: Sep 13, 2006
Posts: 203
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miavzero wrote: Imagine geologists starting a thread "dumb things non geologists say", or Doctors discussing "dumb things their patients say". Don't you think that a group of doctors would enjoy laughing about the idiots that do not know the radial vs ulnar side of their forearm? All of you elitist climbers can go to hell, because none of you are more or less valuable than a Big Gulp toting NASCAR fan yelling yelling questions to all of us "freehanders" as we "scale the mountain" at our local crag.
The funny thing is that you think they don't have those conversations.
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m-earle
Jan 9, 2008, 12:02 AM
Post #194 of 246
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Registered: Apr 3, 2007
Posts: 36
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After hearing from my mother that i was going to try to climb el-cap, my grandmother said "make sure he gets away from the edge when he gets to the top."
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jmagnus17
Jan 9, 2008, 6:45 AM
Post #196 of 246
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Registered: Dec 27, 2007
Posts: 39
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I didn't really have anything special to say until very recently... I dunno necessarily what this is but...
I climb very often at my local gym since I don't live somewhere where I can climb outside in the winter...
So today I was joking with a friend and solo'd some 40' easy peasy route... and I get to the top and then climb down and this middle-aged man comes over and says, "I don't mean to be an asshole, but don't do that again while I'm here"
Now... it's not necessarily a dumb thing for him to say... but... it's like... wtf? He wasn't an employee and had never been to the gym before ...
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timd
Jan 9, 2008, 6:50 AM
Post #197 of 246
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Registered: Dec 21, 2003
Posts: 862
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danep wrote: timd wrote: "Oh, like VERTICAL LIMIT". Oh no. No no no. It gets much worse than vertical limit. I take it you've never seen Sub Zero? Apart from all of the other plot holes (like climbing a K2 with trees on it without hat, gloves or goggles in order to retrieve a glorified Rubik's cube with the inexplicable power to destroy the world), it also makes heavy use of "piton guns" and mysterious life-saving "safety lines" (a la "oh my god, the avalanche is coming and going to pull us off the cliff - quick, use your safety line!") Ironically, I think the only people who will ever get any enjoyment out of it will be climbers enjoying the idiocy of it all...
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danep
Jan 9, 2008, 6:59 AM
Post #198 of 246
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Registered: Mar 19, 2007
Posts: 26
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In reply to: So today I was joking with a friend and solo'd some 40' easy peasy route... and I get to the top and then climb down and this middle-aged man comes over and says, "I don't mean to be an asshole, but don't do that again while I'm here"
... please tell me you are trolling. If not, how old are you exactly? I've never been to a gym that would be even remotely okay with someone free soloing above shoulder height. Even if you think you know what you are doing, you have no idea what shape the holds are in and whether there could be spinners or not. And it's not just your own life you're putting at risk. What if you were to fall and land on someone?
Even if this "middle-aged man" didn't work at the gym, he probably still has a vested interest in not seeing it get shut down when a kid like you goes and does something stupid and then your parents somehow find a way to pin responsibility on the gym.
(This post was edited by danep on Jan 9, 2008, 6:59 AM)
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danep
Jan 9, 2008, 7:03 AM
Post #199 of 246
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Registered: Mar 19, 2007
Posts: 26
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jmagnus17 wrote: So today I was joking with a friend and solo'd some 40' easy peasy route... and I get to the top and then climb down and this middle-aged man comes over and says, "I don't mean to be an asshole, but don't do that again while I'm here"
Also judging by your profile and ascent log I don't think you're at the level where you can get off calling anything "easy peasy."
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jmagnus17
Jan 9, 2008, 7:17 AM
Post #200 of 246
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Registered: Dec 27, 2007
Posts: 39
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danep wrote: Also judging by your profile and ascent log I don't think you're at the level where you can get off calling anything "easy peasy."
Wow, you made a lot of assumptions in those two posts. Good work!
Added: To answer your question, I'm not a kid (under 18, even under 21) ... you are correct about the fact that most gyms don't let people go over shoulder height...
I'm sorry if this upsets you. And in regards to spinners etc: 1) I am aware of the risks, 2) most routes that are "easy peasy" that are indeed freaking "easy peasy" generally have sooo many effing jugs and massive gargantuan foot-holds that it's not an issue. I bet I could campus that entire route... in fact, tomorrow, I think I'll give it a shot
(This post was edited by jmagnus17 on Jan 9, 2008, 7:24 AM)
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