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Blocking other people's opinions
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microbarn


Jan 20, 2008, 3:24 PM
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Blocking other people's opinions
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I am doing pretty well internalizing my own learning and motivations.

Sometimes people make statements about what they expect of you. This is something I would like to avoid, but in reality will never stop.

What are some tools you utilize to limit the impact of their expectations own you?


arnoilgner


Jan 21, 2008, 2:45 PM
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Re: [microbarn] Blocking other people's opinions [In reply to]
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Hi Microbarn,
People will always have expectations. It is important for them to voice them so you know what they expect and can decide whether or not you want to met those expectations.
I think it is important to identify what is important to you and to let other folks know you expect to do things (activities...climbing) to achieve what is important to you. Being open about your intentions will help clean out other people's unvoiced expectations to a degree.
Arno


microbarn


Jan 21, 2008, 5:08 PM
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thanks, I like idea, and I will have to see how it works for me in execution.


phillygoat


Jan 30, 2008, 8:21 AM
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Re: [microbarn] Blocking other people's opinions [In reply to]
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I've noticed that when someone says to me, "You can TOTALLY onsight this!" it seems to practically guarantee that I'll mess it up! I think hearing this before I start a climb is detrimental to my effort because it suggests that I somehow won't have to work as hard as a normally would. Luckily, I have a sense of humor about this sabotaging phrase and, while I know that the person is trying to comfort me, I've learned to disregard any such "cheerleading" and use my usual process for the attempt.


microbarn


Jan 30, 2008, 8:55 AM
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phillygoat wrote:
I've noticed that when someone says to me, "You can TOTALLY onsight this!" it seems to practically guarantee that I'll mess it up! I think hearing this before I start a climb is detrimental to my effort because it suggests that I somehow won't have to work as hard as a normally would. Luckily, I have a sense of humor about this sabotaging phrase and, while I know that the person is trying to comfort me, I've learned to disregard any such "cheerleading" and use my usual process for the attempt.

That is part of the problem I am talking about.

Paired with that, there are some people that will discuss their expectations of you for the season or long term. Ignoring them is sometimes difficult because they might align significantly with your own expectations.

Yes, I understand it is better to concentrate on what you are learning, but in the end that learning is being directed towards achieving a goal. I can't really remove that goal entirely from the picture because without a goal I lose motivation to learn.


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