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Climbin2daTop


Mar 13, 2008, 1:03 PM
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Independent woman
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Hello ladies. I'm new here and would like to say hello. I have a question.....has a man ever rejected you because your independent and make more money than him? I had a guy tell me this was the reason he didn't want to pursue a relationship with me. When he told me I couldn't help but to laugh in his face Laugh. I was alittle confused but took what he said as a compliment.


maww


Mar 13, 2008, 1:45 PM
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Re: [Climbin2daTop] Independent woman [In reply to]
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Well the independence thing - yes, I think I've been on the receiving end of that. But if a man isn't into you because you're independent, the relationship was never gonna work.

Then again, I'd ask your definition of "independent". As in you do your own thing, have your own friends, etc. Or as in you won't bend or make adjustments in your life to add a boyfriend and his interests?

Usually as women we mean independence as the first one..and if a boy can't handle that, he's prolly just that: a boy.

Most of us like grown men. ;)


Partner happiegrrrl


Mar 13, 2008, 3:26 PM
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Re: [Climbin2daTop] Independent woman [In reply to]
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Well - at least he's honest(at least I'm assuming that's the case, and he didn't say that to avoid hurting your feelings with something stupid like "I really like monster hooters, and just got engaged to a stripper with triple D's").....


clee03m


Mar 13, 2008, 5:38 PM
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Re: [happiegrrrl] Independent woman [In reply to]
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I actually never started a relationship with this guy because during one of the conversations he actually said to me, "I would like my future wife to have the ability to work in case something happens to me, but stay home with kids." Say what?

Another one (broke my heart at the time, too) couldn't get over that he never made it to med school and I was on the way.

Another one couldn't get over that he didn't have the grades for med school and had changed to pre-dent (no disrespect to dentist at all, just what this guy did), and well, I was on the way to med school.

So yeah, I guess I've been burned by the whole independent career thing. My husband couldn't care less about my career or how much I make, but he does complain about my need to climb all the time, so may be a different kind of independence bothers him?


Partner camhead


Mar 13, 2008, 7:51 PM
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Re: [Climbin2daTop] Independent woman [In reply to]
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Climbin2daTop wrote:
has a man ever rejected you because your independent and make more money than him?

no, but men reject women because they don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" ALL the time.


maww


Mar 14, 2008, 7:36 AM
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Re: [camhead] Independent woman [In reply to]
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camhead wrote:
Climbin2daTop wrote:
has a man ever rejected you because your independent and make more money than him?

no, but men reject women because they don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" ALL the time.

He he he he he.


granite_grrl


Mar 14, 2008, 8:38 AM
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Re: [Climbin2daTop] Independent woman [In reply to]
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Wow, that's a bunch of foolishness. I think I've been lucky not to have encountered much of that stuff in my life, and its never been big things.

For the record, traditional gender roles don't fly around my house between me and my husband. I'll always make more money than him, and he's happy he can take advantage of it Laugh.


Climbin2daTop


Mar 14, 2008, 9:27 AM
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Re: [granite_grrl] Independent woman [In reply to]
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I just thought it was the funniest thing I ever heard from a guy. I don't talk to him alot anymore because for a good while...everytime I saw him I would just laugh. That may have been rude but whatever. The funny thing is...he's currently dating a girl who is lazy, hardly works, and makes less money than him. He's basically taking care of her. I saw him about a week ago and he asked if we could go out sometime on a date because he's going to break up with his woman. She's too dependent on him Laugh. *sigh* Karma.


iamthewallress


Mar 14, 2008, 9:33 AM
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Re: [Climbin2daTop] Independent woman [In reply to]
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Climbin2daTop wrote:
Hello ladies. I'm new here and would like to say hello. I have a question.....has a man ever rejected you because your independent and make more money than him?

I have ended relationships (or more often...failed to pursue them) because of income disparity.

When I was in grad school I had so little money that I could barely cover my basic needs.

When I spent time w/ others who were equally poor we did things that conserved our cash down to the coinage.

When I spent time with people making a legitimate salary, they wanted to do things like eat out and go to shows. They'd pick cheap resteraunts thinking that they were being considerate of my budget, and I'd pay b/c I didn't want to be a mooch, but one night with someone with more money than be could really mess up my budget and make it impossible to do something else that I'd really been looking forward to.

When my partner and I first decided to move in with each other I was making about 5 times as much as he did, and it was an issue. He wanted to pay his half as our relationship wasn't at the point where it was appropriate to count our investment in something besides dollars. We had to compromise on the type of place we got. Now that the tables are turned and he puts more $$ into our lifestyle, I can't say that I'm always comfortable with not putting my half of the cash.

So, maybe it wasn't that he minded you being financially independent, but that it was important for him to be financially independant too?


(This post was edited by iamthewallress on Mar 14, 2008, 9:35 AM)


maww


Mar 14, 2008, 11:30 AM
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Re: [iamthewallress] Independent woman [In reply to]
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You make a good point iamthewallress. I think it is tough on both sides when the pay levels are disproportionate.

I hope to be in that boat one day. :)


bizarrodrinker


Mar 14, 2008, 11:35 AM
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Re: [maww] Independent woman [In reply to]
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I think people worry about money too much.

But then again, i am not married and have no kids, so I guess i have the luxury of saying that.

Course i am about to begin a systematic process of getting rid of everything i own barring climbing, snowboarding, and biking gear.

Get ready ladies...another degenerate climber on the way...see if you can guess which one. Tongue


erisspirit


Mar 18, 2008, 11:15 AM
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Re: [bizarrodrinker] Independent woman [In reply to]
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Yeah money and independence is not a huge issue with my BF. He just went back to school, but I make more money than him and already have a college degree, but it doesn't adversly affect our relationship. He of course wishes he made more money, and could help more financially, but neither of us are about to let it hurt our relationship.


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