I've had guys make comments about my appearance that could be interpreted as suggestive and/or degrading, but that sort of stuff I can deal with. Different people handle it differently, but to me, responding to a comment of "nice legs/ass/ rack, etc" by hitting the person would be a gross over-reaction, no matter how crappy my day is.

She needs to become sensitized to this skill, b/c if she's not on the clock, there's nothing HR can do.

She needs to become sensitized to this skill, b/c if she's not on the clock, there's nothing HR can do.

This is a case of sexual harassment. The atmosphere created by the coworkers have created a hostile workplace, and regardless of your girfriend's physical actions towards her co-workers in retort to their plying she needs to report this to her superiors.

The proper course of action is to report it to her supervisor, then his/her supervisor. If this doesn't change the behavior around her, or she receives a flack of shit from her coworkers about it then she should go immediately to HR.

This could warrent an investigation from the EEOC, and she has full right to report it to them. However before she lodges a formal complaint be sure that she has sourced all other avenues - her chain of command and company HR.

You may find that she may be a bit reluctant to report it, because her humanistic side will play into the emotion that other than the harassment they are decent individuals and she wouldn't want to see harm befall them. However, if this goes unreported it won't stop on its own.

Harassment, be it racial, sexual, religion, etc. is one and the same in or out of the workplace. Just because it happened after working hours off campus does not preclude the fact that these actions are indeed harassment.

Check out the EEOC page: http://www.eeoc.gov There are some resources on there to help you with this. Have her start the process with her chain of command, and have her write down the details of the incident - starting from when these behaviors started all the way through the incident that you have reported on here.

Cheers,
-Jay


~For what it's worth, I have a Business degree with a certificate in Human Resources. If you have the free time, permissions, and resources I'd love to get a copy of this entire story depicting the escalation to this event. It presents an interesting case for presentation and studying.

Hmm...I'm an engineer that works with only guys.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me.

The way I have handled it when guys start "talking guy stuff" in mixed company is I simply say, then and there, IMMEDIATELY. "I'm sorry, but these comments are not appreciated. Please keep in mind that you're in the presence of mixed company and that I am your coworker. Out of respect for me, and the rest of your coworkers here present, don't ever say something like that again."

Then change the subject and continue the (new subject) conversation as if nothing had happened.

After that very first warning, said in a very serious way, nothing ever happens again.

Do not go to HR. A friend of mine (woman) working with male Engineers had a similar problem (in this case it was simply a comment about how nice she looked that day) and went to HR to handle it. She had to quit her job a couple of months later, after the guys found out, and increased their teasing/harassing--this time to really nasty stuff-- as a result.

HR is never on the side of the employees, but on the side of the company, their jobs are to ensure that the company doesn't get sued, therefore, they will not "solve the harrassment problem" as much as "get rid of the parties causing the problem". Most of the time, the easiest party to "get rid of" is the complainer.

Tell your girlfriend to not treat her male, older coworkers as friends. If she treats them as coworkers, respects and addresses them as coworkers (none of this "playful" taking their money or any of that silliness!), then she can expect them to treat her the same.

And when they act like little boys with sexist or harassing comments, she should put them in her place like a responsible adult. No hitting/punching, no crying, no "running to the manager", slapping, etc. Just say, loud and clear: "What you did is unacceptable. Don't you EVER do it again."

But making the point clear that you're absolutely serious and not joking is paramount. There should be no smiling, no laughing, no "sweetness" when she says this.

Good luck!

And when they act like little boys with sexist or harassing comments, she should put them in her place like a responsible adult. No hitting/punching, no crying, no "running to the manager", slapping, etc. Just say, loud and clear: "What you did is unacceptable. Don't you EVER do it again."

But making the point clear that you're absolutely serious and not joking is paramount. There should be no smiling, no laughing, no "sweetness" when she says this.

Good luck!

so you're saying that if a guy that you work with came up to you and grabbed your ass...i'm not talking gently glancing it...but full palm to cheek cuppage action you wouldn't turn around and smack him across the face?

unfortunately, hitting someone is largely regarded as responding in kind. if your are assaulted, sexually or otherwise, asking them to stop and walking away is the best thing to do because you retain the moral high ground.

not to say that i would walk away, but a woman hitting a man isn't necessarily going to stop the man - especially if he is aggressive. he may see the contact as a challenge and take it to another level later, with less forewarning.

i'd say that since she already retaliated twice, not to contact HR, but get a taser, mace, or a .22 with birdshot. then he'll think twice before taking it farther.

Hitting in order to AVOID HR involvement would send a completely different message, as some have mentioned.