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shimmer


Dec 22, 2008, 6:47 AM
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"Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare*
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I've mentioned before that I work in a gym...yay for spending my weekends teaching parents how to avoid dropping their precious little darlings and frat boys how to avoid killing themselves.
There's one thing I keep running into though, and I need new answers (the more realistically ludicrous the better) because the one I generally use is getting stale.
Usually the exchange goes something like this:

Big Strong Man: "So, uh...do you know how to rock climb?"

Lil Ol' Me: "What? Like up the walls? Really? OMGOSH I dunno, because like...I know...there's something about the tape you're like...I think you're supposed to follow that like...*points* up, and stuff, but...there are just so many colors on the wall, I like...I touch one of the holds and think about climbing and I get just overwhelmed!!! I mean...SO MANY CHOICES OMGOSH!!"

BSM: "Wow. Yeah, I totally understand that. So how hard can you climb? Like...which wall gives you problems?"

LOM: "Oh man, the more tape there is the just...I get overwhelmed, that's all."

BSM: *swooping in to save the day* "Well, if you ever want a partner or someone to cheer you on or teach you, I'd be glad to give you a couple of pointers..."

LOM: "I'll keep that in mind."

I need new answers. I wouldn't even resort to the above exchange if I didn't get it EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND.


acacongua


Dec 22, 2008, 6:54 AM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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I doubt that guy gives a hoot whether you climb well. He wants in your pants.

Treat the situation as you would any typical bar situation and unwanted advances.


tigerlilly


Dec 22, 2008, 7:12 AM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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How about, "No, I just got a job here so I could look up at people's tushies all day."

That should send them running for a far corner of the gym.

Kathy Wink


wonderwoman


Dec 22, 2008, 7:43 AM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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"Why, no... This is my first time ever!"

And then proceed to do something really, really hard! Be sure to ask him how you did when you come down.


iamthewallress


Dec 22, 2008, 8:05 AM
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Re: [wonderwoman] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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Maybe you can take the BAM (Bad Ass Momma) tack instead of doing LOM. BAM is bound to be a bigger, quicker turn off for BSM.

BAM tells BSM that she f'ing cranks and challenges him to an arm wrastlin' contest.


Partner happiegrrrl


Dec 22, 2008, 8:06 AM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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Seriously - every weekend some guys says a version of this?

That's bizarre.

But for one liners, I think "No. I just work here." is about as good a one I can come up with. Subtle enough to go right over some dumdum's head, yet biting enough to nip 'em a little if they take some time to think.


carabiner96


Dec 22, 2008, 8:18 AM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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If you're hawt, it's all your fault.


wonderwoman


Dec 22, 2008, 8:21 AM
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Re: [happiegrrrl] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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happiegrrrl wrote:
Seriously - every weekend some guys says a version of this?

That's bizarre.

It would be even more bizarre if it were the same stupid guy! Sly

'Dude!!! Leave me alone! I already told you 6 times!'


Gmburns2000


Dec 22, 2008, 8:25 AM
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Re: [wonderwoman] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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wonderwoman wrote:
happiegrrrl wrote:
Seriously - every weekend some guys says a version of this?

That's bizarre.

It would be even more bizarre if it were the same stupid guy! Sly

'Dude!!! Leave me alone! I already told you 6 times!'

Women are so cruel. You can't blame a guy for trying can you? Tongue


elcapinyoazz


Dec 22, 2008, 9:28 AM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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Try this:


Big Strong Man: "So, uh...do you know how to rock climb?"

Lil Ol' Me: Yes.

BSM: So how hard can you climb?

LOM: Harder than you.

That should end the conversation.


clee03m


Dec 22, 2008, 9:33 AM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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If you are looking for a 'why don't you back-off' comments, I think "I don't consider pulling on plastic rock climbing" or uncomfortable silence followed by "uh...no..." with a disgusted look up and down would work. "No, I just work here" may be nicer.


shimmer


Dec 22, 2008, 9:36 AM
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Re: [elcapinyoazz] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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elcapinyoazz wrote:
Try this:


Big Strong Man: "So, uh...do you know how to rock climb?"

Lil Ol' Me: Yes.

BSM: So how hard can you climb?

LOM: Harder than you.

That should end the conversation.
Logically, it should.
It doesn't.
That leads to "Can you climb this? *points* What about that? Can you do that up there?" ad nauseum.

On one hand it really is humorous, on the other hand it's quite tiresome. I generally try to take it in good spirit because I know they're trying to broach the conversation with me somehow or another, but like I said, it's really become redundant...which I've gone instead for snappy rejoinders, then putting on my shoes and climbing later on.


stonefox


Dec 22, 2008, 11:09 AM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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Gym Manager Alumni here-
point to the most overhung wall and say, "I climb that hard." (because you do)

A 5.12c sport climb at the gorge means nothing to someone who can't grasp the concept of colored tape or the "purple route."

***and if you really must take the frat boy up on his offer, let him climb first and make an ass of himself and when it's his turn to belay you, ballerina up your favorite route. Let him try the same route next (suddenly the "tape" concept means more than just "pretty" and grades come to life!)

Or just turn um lose on the overhang, let um pump out after 2 goes and call it a day.

Depends on how much time you want to invest getting a nonclimber to understand climbing.

edited to switch an "a" for an "o".


(This post was edited by stonefox on Dec 22, 2008, 9:30 PM)


Maddhatter


Dec 22, 2008, 11:45 AM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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shimmer wrote:
I've mentioned before that I work in a gym...yay for spending my weekends teaching parents how to avoid dropping their precious little darlings and frat boys how to avoid killing themselves.
There's one thing I keep running into though, and I need new answers (the more realistically ludicrous the better) because the one I generally use is getting stale.
Usually the exchange goes something like this:

Big Strong Man: "So, uh...do you know how to rock climb?"

Lil Ol' Me: "What? Like up the walls? Really? OMGOSH I dunno, because like...I know...there's something about the tape you're like...I think you're supposed to follow that like...*points* up, and stuff, but...there are just so many colors on the wall, I like...I touch one of the holds and think about climbing and I get just overwhelmed!!! I mean...SO MANY CHOICES OMGOSH!!"

BSM: "Wow. Yeah, I totally understand that. So how hard can you climb? Like...which wall gives you problems?"

LOM: "Oh man, the more tape there is the just...I get overwhelmed, that's all."

BSM: *swooping in to save the day* "Well, if you ever want a partner or someone to cheer you on or teach you, I'd be glad to give you a couple of pointers..."

LOM: "I'll keep that in mind."

I need new answers. I wouldn't even resort to the above exchange if I didn't get it EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND.

Boys at that age (ok all men) tend to have one thing on there mind more then any other. UMMM , A , Yea , You know what I mean! If a cute girl says watch how I do this. It's a good bet the kid is not watching your feet and hands. So what, there just being normal. If you think for a min young boys don't think women that climb hard are cool your wrong and I would bet most of them talk about how cool you are after they leave. And yes, how hot you are also. You are there, you know these kids better then anyone on here. I would say be strong and make that clear to all that come to you. Guys "might" be put off at first but will respect you more over the long run. It's your gym so rule it.


uhoh


Dec 22, 2008, 12:16 PM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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shimmer wrote:
I've mentioned before that I work in a gym...yay for spending my weekends teaching parents how to avoid dropping their precious little darlings and frat boys how to avoid killing themselves.
There's one thing I keep running into though, and I need new answers (the more realistically ludicrous the better) because the one I generally use is getting stale.
Usually the exchange goes something like this:

Big Strong Man: "So, uh...do you know how to rock climb?"

Lil Ol' Me: "What? Like up the walls? Really? OMGOSH I dunno, because like...I know...there's something about the tape you're like...I think you're supposed to follow that like...*points* up, and stuff, but...there are just so many colors on the wall, I like...I touch one of the holds and think about climbing and I get just overwhelmed!!! I mean...SO MANY CHOICES OMGOSH!!"

BSM: "Wow. Yeah, I totally understand that. So how hard can you climb? Like...which wall gives you problems?"

LOM: "Oh man, the more tape there is the just...I get overwhelmed, that's all."

BSM: *swooping in to save the day* "Well, if you ever want a partner or someone to cheer you on or teach you, I'd be glad to give you a couple of pointers..."

LOM: "I'll keep that in mind."

I need new answers. I wouldn't even resort to the above exchange if I didn't get it EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND.

I had trouble reading that without thinking BDSM every time I read BSM.


(This post was edited by uhoh on Dec 22, 2008, 12:25 PM)


shimmer


Dec 22, 2008, 12:27 PM
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Re: [uhoh] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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uhoh wrote:

I had trouble reading that without thinking BDSM every time I read BSM.
I use another website for that kind of discussion. :)


wonderwoman


Dec 22, 2008, 12:43 PM
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Re: [shimmer] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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shimmer wrote:
uhoh wrote:

I had trouble reading that without thinking BDSM every time I read BSM.
I use another website for that kind of discussion. :)

Maybe the BSM had IBS! Shocked


htotsu


Dec 22, 2008, 1:38 PM
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Re: [stonefox] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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stonefox wrote:
...
***and if you really must take the frat boy up on his offer, let him climb first and make an ass of himself and when it's his turn to belay you, ...

Um, don't ever let the meathead belay you. He will not be paying attention to the fact that he has your life in his hands. He'll just be checking out your ass.

Anyhoo, I like Happiegrrl's suggestion.

If you really want to leave them confused just long enough for you to walk away, maybe something just a bit off. Examples:

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"No. I'm a climber."

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"No. I don't like Chinese food."

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
(respond using American Sign Language)

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"Only because I'm part hippo."

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"No. I just like to see how uncomfortable the men look in those nut-wrenching harnesses. (Looking at his crotch) Yours is really doing a number on you. I thought shrinkage was just for swimming."

...


ladyscarlett


Dec 22, 2008, 3:37 PM
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Re: [htotsu] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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htotsu wrote:
stonefox wrote:
...
"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"No. I just like to see how uncomfortable the men look in those nut-wrenching harnesses. (Looking at his crotch) Yours is really doing a number on you. I thought shrinkage was just for swimming."
...

I LIKE this one! Probably completely inappropriate in the work place, but I like it a lot!

my first thoughts

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"Yes, I especially like the part about wedging nuts into a nice tight crack- shall I show you?"

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"Yes, for an extra $x I'll throw in my very own instructional video starring me! I'm even starting my own line of clothing!"

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"Yes...with people who can keep up...endurance is key."

That being said, I guess a one word "yes" reply is probably more appropriate.

I too had the problem with BSM and BDSM - I thought it was only me...

some fun answers though for sure!

ls


shimmer


Dec 22, 2008, 3:40 PM
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Re: [htotsu] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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htotsu wrote:
stonefox wrote:
...
***and if you really must take the frat boy up on his offer, let him climb first and make an ass of himself and when it's his turn to belay you, ...

Um, don't ever let the meathead belay you. He will not be paying attention to the fact that he has your life in his hands. He'll just be checking out your ass.
Yeah, no. There are maybe 4 people I trust to have my catch. Everyone else can go fuck themselves, particularly noob frat boys who are in the gym on a dare.



In reply to:
"Do you know how to rock climb?"
(respond using American Sign Language)

...
For the fucking win. Awesome.


stonefox


Dec 22, 2008, 5:02 PM
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hahahaha! those are great!


Myxomatosis


Dec 22, 2008, 6:32 PM
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We have a cute american girl working here at our Gym... she gets asked out all the time by BSM's... I had a laugh at her the other day tho...

During a belay lesson..

First Time Doofus (FTD) shouts "One day Im gonna climb Mt Everast"..

Cute American Instructor (CAI) "well, perhaps you should try the back wall first?" *sarcasticly* and points to the over hang...

Pretty much same ole story, he runs over to prove his manhood and is quickly shot down on the 3rd hold he gets too... then proclaims it to hard for even CAI.... unfortunitly CAI gave into peer pressure and climbed an easy 5.9 to which FTD tried to ask her out for a beer.. ."Sorry im married, but I can bring my husband if you like" Laugh


shimmer


Dec 22, 2008, 7:38 PM
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Re: [Myxomatosis] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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Myxomatosis wrote:
We have a cute american girl working here at our Gym... she gets asked out all the time by BSM's... I had a laugh at her the other day tho...

During a belay lesson..

First Time Doofus (FTD) shouts "One day Im gonna climb Mt Everast"..

Cute American Instructor (CAI) "well, perhaps you should try the back wall first?" *sarcasticly* and points to the over hang...

Pretty much same ole story, he runs over to prove his manhood and is quickly shot down on the 3rd hold he gets too... then proclaims it to hard for even CAI.... unfortunitly CAI gave into peer pressure and climbed an easy 5.9 to which FTD tried to ask her out for a beer.. ."Sorry im married, but I can bring my husband if you like" Laugh
Just for that I'd send her two. Awesome.


htotsu


Dec 22, 2008, 8:57 PM
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Re: [ladyscarlett] "Do you know how to rock climb?" *blank stare* [In reply to]
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Glad you were entertained, Shim :) What do I win?

For the record, I'm correcting Ladyscarlett's quotes for proper attribution all around...

ladyscarlett wrote:
htotsu wrote:
...
"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"No. I just like to see how uncomfortable the men look in those nut-wrenching harnesses. (Looking at his crotch) Yours is really doing a number on you. I thought shrinkage was just for swimming."
...

I LIKE this one! Probably completely inappropriate in the work place, but I like it a lot!

my first thoughts

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"Yes, I especially like the part about wedging nuts into a nice tight crack- shall I show you?"

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"Yes, for an extra $x I'll throw in my very own instructional video starring me! I'm even starting my own line of clothing!"

"Do you know how to rock climb?"
"Yes...with people who can keep up...endurance is key."

That being said, I guess a one word "yes" reply is probably more appropriate.

I too had the problem with BSM and BDSM - I thought it was only me...

some fun answers though for sure!

ls


stonefox


Dec 22, 2008, 9:24 PM
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Myxomatosis wrote:
We have a cute american girl working here at our Gym... she gets asked out all the time by BSM's... I had a laugh at her the other day tho...

During a belay lesson..

First Time Doofus (FTD) shouts "One day Im gonna climb Mt Everast"..

Cute American Instructor (CAI) "well, perhaps you should try the back wall first?" *sarcasticly* and points to the over hang...

Pretty much same ole story, he runs over to prove his manhood and is quickly shot down on the 3rd hold he gets too... then proclaims it to hard for even CAI.... unfortunitly CAI gave into peer pressure and climbed an easy 5.9 to which FTD tried to ask her out for a beer.. ."Sorry im married, but I can bring my husband if you like" Laugh


See, right? That totally rocks! I love it. And it's always the gem, the 5.8 or 5.9 on the most overhung wall that gets um everytime. So fun!

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