Yeah, no. There are maybe 4 people I trust to have my catch. Everyone else can go fuck themselves, particularly noob frat boys who are in the gym on a dare.



For the fucking win. Awesome.

Are you gals really this mean to guys that ask you out?

Generally it seems that the more that you are actually out of a guy's league, the less big of a ball-stomping production you should need to make in order to communicate this info to him.

Are you gals really this mean to guys that ask you out?

Generally it seems that the more that you are actually out of a guy's league, the less big of a ball-stomping production you should need to make in order to communicate this info to him.

Are you gals really this mean to guys that ask you out?

Generally it seems that the more that you are actually out of a guy's league, the less big of a ball-stomping production you should need to make in order to communicate this info to him.

Oh, honestly.

If you had been paying any attention you would have noticed that, in the very first post, Shimmer mentions that she WORKS IN A GYM and gets asked this question all the time. Presume with me, for a moment, that her "staff" status is clear. Can you not, then, see that the question itself is insulting? And really stupid?

This isn't a bar situation where a guy tries to say hello and she shoots him down just for fun. This isn't even a rock climbing gym situation where a guy asks a girl out at all. This is a rock climbing gym situation where a guy asks a woman who WORKS AT THE ROCK CLIMBING GYM whether she KNOWS HOW TO ROCK CLIMB.

And I'm sure Shimmer is flattered by your suggestion that she is way out of the league of the men who are asking this question, but she nowhere suggested that she thinks as much. She is simply trying to keep her day interesting since, it would appear, she gets asked this question all the freaking time.

In any case, you'd be amazed - AMAZED, I tell you - at how blind a guy can be to what you might call a smaller-scale "production." I might call it a sequence that starts with subtlety, moves on to politeness, then directness, then outright meanness when it comes to indicating lack of interest. Then, suddenly, the guy's like, "Why did she turn into such a bitch?" and the answer is typically something like, "Because you didn't hear anything before then. I tried to be nice, but you didn't get it."

So, in sum, I'm sorry for whatever "ball-stomping production" you had to endure to make you this quick to assume negative things about women and our intentions. But if nothing else, learn to pick a better opening line than the guys at her gym.

Wow. I hope getting all of that off your chest felt good for you.

So, in sum, I'm sorry for whatever "ball-stomping production" you had to endure to make you this quick to assume negative things about women and our intentions. But if nothing else, learn to pick a better opening line than the guys at her gym.

Two different people have tried to explain to this guy that he missed the point, and still, he doesn't get it. Maybe he's once asked Shimmer if she knew how to rock climb.

Or, you could simply say "yes."

Try that next weekend and then get back to us with stories of "what happened next." That'll give this thread a second wind if nothing else!

Oh, honestly.

If you had been paying any attention you would have noticed that, in the very first post, Shimmer mentions that she WORKS IN A GYM and gets asked this question all the time. Presume with me, for a moment, that her "staff" status is clear. Can you not, then, see that the question itself is insulting? And really stupid?

This isn't a bar situation where a guy tries to say hello and she shoots him down just for fun. This isn't even a rock climbing gym situation where a guy asks a girl out at all. This is a rock climbing gym situation where a guy asks a woman who WORKS AT THE ROCK CLIMBING GYM whether she KNOWS HOW TO ROCK CLIMB.

And I'm sure Shimmer is flattered by your suggestion that she is way out of the league of the men who are asking this question, but she nowhere suggested that she thinks as much. She is simply trying to keep her day interesting since, it would appear, she gets asked this question all the freaking time.

In any case, you'd be amazed - AMAZED, I tell you - at how blind a guy can be to what you might call a smaller-scale "production." I might call it a sequence that starts with subtlety, moves on to politeness, then directness, then outright meanness when it comes to indicating lack of interest. Then, suddenly, the guy's like, "Why did she turn into such a bitch?" and the answer is typically something like, "Because you didn't hear anything before then. I tried to be nice, but you didn't get it."

So, in sum, I'm sorry for whatever "ball-stomping production" you had to endure to make you this quick to assume negative things about women and our intentions. But if nothing else, learn to pick a better opening line than the guys at her gym.

Ummm... I'm pretty sure that iamthewallrus is a woman...

Are you gals really this mean to guys that ask you out?

Generally it seems that the more that you are actually out of a guy's league, the less big of a ball-stomping production you should need to make in order to communicate this info to him.

Ah Thanks. The "ball busting production" comment smacked of bitterness. Had to assume that's what led to missing the point of the original post which, as Stonefox pointed out, was never about guys asking girls out.

So, I thought I'd make some effort to explain why some girls do have to end up being or sounding mean to reject the advances of some of the more oblivious men. Even if IATW isn't a guy, hopefully some guy who did read it learned that it isn't always malicious if a lady has to be a bit harsh in turning him down. Sometimes it is (yes, those girls are out there), but many times it isn't.

Anyhoo, Shimmer, with all the women who work in gyms, some of them have to have some insight into this. Maybe they have to deal with the same thing. If so, hopefully they can give you some tips on what works for them.

(lots of good stuff)

But you raise a good point, guys do find it very difficult sometimes to tell the difference between kindness and interest. I can understand why that would be frustrating. Still, which problem would you rather have: kindness mistaken for interest, or smart ass mistaken for mean? My choice, which I unfairly didn't give to you (but you can still choose it now if you wish), is honesty.

That sounds very "One to grow on" at the end there :) But in this scenario, as in many in life, honesty (e.g. please leave me alone, I am not interested you, please stop talking to me, your breath is kicking - please back away) will be interpreted as mean. It just isn't that simple.

I'm also not sure you fully understand that the frustration involved when kindness is mistaken for interest isn't just about being misunderstood. It's that, when a guy doesn't get that you're not interested but are just being nice, the conversation can just freakin continue and continue, regardless of whatever social cues you try to throw his way to make it clear that you are busy, or trying to focus on something else, or just not interested in talking.

So, sure, the lady can say, "Please go away and leave me alone now," and everyone's happy because she was honest, right? Or is he now thinking she's mean? The lady can't win. Might as well make it interesting, and leaving him befuddled can be better than leaving him with hurt feelings.

Hmm...in my opinion men are fairly uncomplicated creatures. Confronted with the same situation, my replies would be as follows.

Big Strong Man: "You climb?"/"You climb too?"/"Do you climb?"

Me: "Sure!"

Big Strong Man: "How hard?"

Me: "Enough to have fun."

And leave it at that. Nothing complicated, conveys required information, and is polite if said with a pleasant demeanor. Time wasted: less than 30 seconds. It is then up to you if the delivery is flirtatious or businesslike. You control the direction of the conversation simply by changing the tone. Cool, huh? ;)