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Sh0rty


Jan 8, 2009, 12:58 AM
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Harassment
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I just got home from the gym and, sorry, but I need to rant and need advise.

My climbing partner is a guy that I knew from high school, I have no problem with him and frankly most of the guys I climb with at the gym; they are all respectful and supportive.

But then there are THOSE guys, and I'm sure you know who I am talking about. Today just wasn't the day to try and pick up on me at the gym, I go there to have fun and de-stress.

But there was that one guy. All I heard was him yelling 'BRO!' this or "F*ck" that or "DUDE" or bragging to his friend about the lift on his truck (obviously compensation for lack of something else). And all the while he's screaming this across the gym and looking my direction. Not to mention he walked to my belayer after I took a decent fall. I like a lot of slack and the 'bro' asks my belayer 'dude, can you even belay?" to which he replies "yes, she just likes a lot of slack." Bro says "Well I like it tight." It took a lot of restraint not to walk up to him and punch him in the face.

Then to top it off I was trying a difficult route and I take a fall, but don't want to be lowered. So what does he do? Climbs up some 5.10a DIRECTLY below me and attempts to show me how good he is at climbing...I couldn't help but laugh at the irony that I was climbing a route a full grade higher then he was.

I was really tempted to tell my belayer to give me a bunch of slack just so I could fall on his huge, orange spray tan, BRO hair cut head.

Sorry for the long rant. I'm young and I know I'm going to have to suck it up to some extent, but some guys are just boarder line harassment. What is the best way to deal with these people without seeking out the nearest weapon?


(This post was edited by Sh0rty on Jan 8, 2009, 1:30 AM)


Partner happiegrrrl


Jan 8, 2009, 6:10 AM
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Re: [Sh0rty] Harassment [In reply to]
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What a clown that guy sounds like.

I would have given him the death ray eyes when he made that "tight' comment. And added a sneer and that gutteral "ugcckk" sound that withers any weinie with even a one-ounce brain.

Then, when he climbed beneath me(since he didn't get the clue), mentioned his "tan." I don't have a good one for that right now(just woke up and haven't had coffee) but it would have to be a sophisticated cut. The type who uses tanning booths doesn't get it and a snarky remark will only have him thinking "Whatta bitch. Now I HAVE to have her...."(like there's any doubt he wouldn't succeed, in his mind). It would have to be a sloooow burn on his tan sort of remark, one he didn't get until later.


shimmer


Jan 8, 2009, 6:25 AM
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Re: [Sh0rty] Harassment [In reply to]
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Comment on how cute it is that he's working his way up the beginner routes. Then casually mention that you know the gym gives one on one lessons, he may want to look into that.



Or just completely put on your bitch face and ignore him.


clausti


Jan 8, 2009, 6:30 AM
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Re: [Sh0rty] Harassment [In reply to]
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Well the first thing I would have done is, when he spoke to my belayer, asked him to please not speak to my belayer while i'm climbing.

i would just his behavior, based on your post, as harmless but obnoxious. personally, i would have replied to the "tight" comment with something like, "well i'm sure a tight 'belay' is a fantasy you can keep dreaming of," while looking scornfully at his crotch.

if he keeps bothering you, tell him to leave you alone. then if he keeps bothering you, tell a gym staff member. you can probably get him kicked out for harassment, esp if this is a college gym.

but don't try and get him banzed without specifically telling him to his face that you are not interested and that he should leave you alone.


granite_grrl


Jan 8, 2009, 6:56 AM
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Its not harrasment till you let him know that you want him to stop bugging you. It's cute that you have an admirer, but it seems that this one is very very annoying.

I would start calling him on his annoying behaviour. His comment to your belayer, not sure if you were close enough but you could have said you actually want to climb the route, not have the rope pull you up. Him climbing under you, you should have let him know that you were not impressed and the safety problems it could have caused. Ask him to be more careful.

I would hope he would be bright enough and start to realize that his actions to get your attention are not going well at that point. If not, you can then start looking around for the nearest weapon.


clee03m


Jan 8, 2009, 8:07 AM
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I hate swarmy men. I'm sorry you have to deal with that at the gym. I also like to go to the gym to decompress as well as to try to keep in climbing shape and would be upset if I was harrassed. I think straightforward comment may work, but I find that if all they are doing are making vague but disgusting remarks, they usually respond with mocked fained innocence. Unfortunately, hurting their ego tend to better fend them off to lick their wound. I really like the suggestion to take a climbing course. Mine would have been something like, "It's called a dynamic belay. It's really important for you to learn to lead belay correctly. I saw a girl break her ankle from someone who gave her a 'tight' belay." One more suggestion is to say these things with a sincere attitude as someone truly trying to help out a nooby, and they can't "what ever DUDE" back at you.


stonefox


Jan 8, 2009, 10:19 AM
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Re: [Sh0rty] Harassment [In reply to]
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Not only does this guy sound annoying he is distracting as well but not in a good way. I would be pretty pissed about his lack of safety in the gym.
So first this guy comments to your belayer, while you are climbing, about slack in the rope, then proceeds to climb up directly beneath you to offer more distraction while on the wall? Safety is a big deal to me - I'd leave out the jokes for now and talk to the gym manager/staff about his behavior.


gym_wench


Jan 8, 2009, 1:22 PM
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Ah, men with small penises. Gotta love 'em.

Seriously, though, just ignore him. Climbing is just like any other sport first dominated by our testosterone-fueled counterparts: you're gonna have some guys with giant egos that need stroking on a constant basis. Those giant egos are going to be challenged by the fact that an attractive, young female can pull harder than him. Just have a good chuckle at his expense, and if he ever does anything as dangerous as climbing underneath you again, tell the staff at the gym.

Oh, and you can take some small comfort in the fact that he didn't tell someone within hearing range while you were on a new route, mid-clip "It can't be that hard if she's climbing it." If I wouldn't have been clipping, I swear to God I would have given him the finger.


clausti


Jan 8, 2009, 2:03 PM
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Re: [gym_wench] Harassment [In reply to]
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gym_wench wrote:
Oh, and you can take some small comfort in the fact that he didn't tell someone within hearing range while you were on a new route, mid-clip "It can't be that hard if she's climbing it." If I wouldn't have been clipping, I swear to God I would have given him the finger.

see now that i find hilarious. i usually stick around to watch at least some of the carnage.


Sh0rty


Jan 8, 2009, 4:08 PM
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Re: [gym_wench] Harassment [In reply to]
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gym_wench wrote:
Ah, men with small penises.

Oh, and you can take some small comfort in the fact that he didn't tell someone within hearing range while you were on a new route, mid-clip "It can't be that hard if she's climbing it." If I wouldn't have been clipping, I swear to God I would have given him the finger.

Wow thank you for that laugh. I think I will do that next time.

The only thing stroking his ego though, is his own hand...retrospect sucks, I think I'm going to tell him that next time I see him.


clee03m


Jan 8, 2009, 8:06 PM
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gym_wench wrote:
Oh, and you can take some small comfort in the fact that he didn't tell someone within hearing range while you were on a new route, mid-clip "It can't be that hard if she's climbing it." If I wouldn't have been clipping, I swear to God I would have given him the finger.

LOL although it shouldn't be funny. It's like when noob dudes feel the need to get on bouldering problems I'm working on, I guess to show me how it's done? I know I suck at bouldering, but really. What's priceless is when they are actually worse than me and look startled that they can't do a problem that I can do. Oh well...


shimmer


Jan 8, 2009, 8:27 PM
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clee03m wrote:
LOL although it shouldn't be funny. It's like when noob dudes feel the need to get on bouldering problems I'm working on, I guess to show me how it's done? I know I suck at bouldering, but really. What's priceless is when they are actually worse than me and look startled that they can't do a problem that I can do. Oh well...
This happens so often. Or they maul it like a cougar on a bunny rabbit and then wonder why their shoes wear through so fast. >.<


Sh0rty


Jan 8, 2009, 10:49 PM
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Even better is the ones you can hear banging up the wall from across the building.

Finesse? BRO finesse is for chicks!


htotsu


Jan 11, 2009, 6:41 PM
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Re: [Sh0rty] Harassment [In reply to]
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Sh0rty wrote:
I was really tempted to tell my belayer to give me a bunch of slack just so I could fall on his huge, orange spray tan, BRO hair cut head.

"Hey! Your spray tan is the same shade of orange as the tape on that beginner route you're climbing."


fresh


Jan 13, 2009, 1:38 PM
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happiegrrrl wrote:
I would have given him the death ray eyes when he made that "tight' comment. And added a sneer and that gutteral "ugcckk" sound that withers any weinie with even a one-ounce brain.
I think most guys actually really like this reaction.

sorry you guys have to deal with this crap! must be annoying. (at best.)


gym_wench


Jan 14, 2009, 3:28 PM
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My favorite wounded ego moments have to be when a guy tries something you destroyed, and, when they get thrashed on it, respond with, "That's a girl problem/route." I wanna kick 'em hard in the nuts and say, "Here, now that your nuts are ovaries, give it another shot."


Partner happiegrrrl


Jan 14, 2009, 7:18 PM
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gym_wench wrote:
..."That's a girl problem/route." "

....I guess that's the modern equivalent of the old "nice day for a lady" they used to say once a woman had made an ascent on a mountain.


acacongua


Jan 15, 2009, 8:00 AM
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Re: [Sh0rty] Harassment [In reply to]
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Any response other than ignoring his ego is your own ego at play. Besides, responding to such a person is giving him the attention he craves and he just might think you like him.


jeepnphreak


Jan 30, 2009, 3:19 PM
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Ill give you a bit of advice.

insulting him will not make him leave you alone.
If he likes you than he will just turn on the charm evan more.

But theres hope, the piece of ammo you do have is your belayer.
Juat tell the jack ass bothering you to leave you and your " BOY FRIEND" alone. very few guys will continue to bother you. its not cosher to hit on another mans's girl, it is an unwriten rule about that.


rockie


Feb 1, 2009, 12:05 AM
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Or put ring on finger and show him and say.. "Look, I am engaged, but thanks all the same."


htotsu


Feb 1, 2009, 8:09 AM
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rockie wrote:
Or put ring on finger and show him and say.. "Look, I am engaged, but thanks all the same."
Good idea, but the ring could be dangerous during climbing. Maybe put a fake engagement ring on a necklace or somewhere else that's both secure and easily accessible. Then you can pull it out when necessary, but also keep it hidden and out of the way in case you don't need it (or in case you are actually approached by someone you like). Wink


petsfed


Feb 2, 2009, 9:59 AM
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Re: [jeepnphreak] Harassment [In reply to]
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jeepnphreak wrote:
Ill give you a bit of advice.

insulting him will not make him leave you alone.
If he likes you than he will just turn on the charm evan more.

But theres hope, the piece of ammo you do have is your belayer.
Juat tell the jack ass bothering you to leave you and your " BOY FRIEND" alone. very few guys will continue to bother you. its not cosher to hit on another mans's girl, it is an unwriten rule about that.

An unwritten rule that's too often broken by pompous pricks. If he thinks he can take your belayer in a fight, he may persist. Even if such a fight will impress no one but himself. I fear I may have to meet and greet such an individual soon, and I'm not looking forward to it.

Just be advised. For every ten reasonable, if overzealous, dudes, there's at least one who thinks that "No" means "open for negotiations".


(This post was edited by petsfed on Feb 2, 2009, 10:00 AM)


elcapinyoazz


Feb 4, 2009, 1:28 PM
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Sh0rty wrote:
Today just wasn't the day to try and pick up on me at the gym,

How's Thursday work for you? I can pencil you in if that's a better day.

Seriously though, if you "reported" guys like this to the staff, you'd have to report every guy under 25 in the place, and that would include most of the staff themselves.

Sh0rty wrote:
his huge, orange spray tan, BRO hair cut head.

Alright, so this is actually why I replied. What is a "BRO hair cut"? These types of young fellas are usually running beanies, even when it's fully summertime. So how can you see their haircut, and what does a "BRO" cut look like?


petsfed


Feb 4, 2009, 3:55 PM
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elcapinyoazz wrote:
Sh0rty wrote:
Today just wasn't the day to try and pick up on me at the gym,

How's Thursday work for you? I can pencil you in if that's a better day.

Seriously though, if you "reported" guys like this to the staff, you'd have to report every guy under 25 in the place, and that would include most of the staff themselves.

Sh0rty wrote:
his huge, orange spray tan, BRO hair cut head.

Alright, so this is actually why I replied. What is a "BRO hair cut"? These types of young fellas are usually running beanies, even when it's fully summertime. So how can you see their haircut, and what does a "BRO" cut look like?

Gelled into spikes. It looks pretty ridiculous.

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