Not only that, but also that some relationships are unhealthy, destructive or otherwise a bad idea. Ending the viscous circle abuse is difficult, but can be done. I think the last words I said to my dad were in reference to what I'd do if he ever laid hands on my mom again (read: not at all pleasant) and I'm ok with that. In fact, everyone is probably better off if there's no contact between me and my dad since no one else in the family is willing to call him out on his behavior so I make a point of it.

Unfortunately my younger brother seems headed down that track (read: inconsiderate, judgmental asshole, not physically abusive), so time will tell if he turns it around and tries to repair our relationship.

Sigh.

Do threads in the LR always take serious turns like this? I'm seeing a whole 'nother side of people here, and frankly its a welcome change from the usual RC prattle.

-a.

Do threads in the LR always take serious turns like this? I'm seeing a whole 'nother side of people here, and frankly its a welcome change from the usual RC prattle.

-a.

Somewhat off-topic, but I had a completely random I don't know, I guess she has a point. How often someone "falls in love", and all their firends and family members shake their heads and say:"This guy is all wrong for her"-- and eventually it turns out that yeah, they were right? Usually wit ha lot of emotional angst involved.

[
On the topic of having children, wouldn't it be great if humans (and dogs/cats too) behaved as eagles do? Before they procreate, they scout their territory to make certain they have enough food to provide their offspring. If the territory is lacking, then they don't pro-create. It's just a fact. We unfortunately, are cursed with emotion and an overwhelming itch below the belt.

Yup, part of the reason I'm here so much. I actually enjoy the intellectual conversation.

I looked. The cupboard is full, so now I'm off to make little greggies.

Is this:

Really consistent with this:




Please don't kill a good thread!

Greg- I'm surprised you didn't go for the low hanging fruit:

Lots of directions to take that and you have no idea how hard it is for me to not do so. But I'm new in town and need to keep up appearances....

Rumor has it the downtime this past week was the mods installing kryptonite to slow me down. This is clear proof that it is working.





But in order to "not kill the thread" - positive experiences don't always lead to kids growing into good adults, and negative experiences don't always lead to kids growing up to being bad adults.

My experience with my mother and stepfather (by far and away mostly him) was very negative, and I think I turned out OK. My sisters haven't done what I've done, but they turned out OK, too. We survived, learned from what we saw, and made our own lives.

I've seen kids who had the most loving parents really struggle when they hit the real world. I've known a lot of folks who had alcoholic parents - many of those parents were also abusive - go on to lead very solid and productive lives, with no abuse.

No one should have to put up with shit like that, but in reality, not all kids who grow up under abusers become abusers themselves.

Should parents stay together for the kids? No, they shouldn't. But to assume that the kids only learn what they see and aren't able to make thier own decisions is terribly misguided. A child possesses the ability to form opinions, regardless of how innocent we think they are.

well that is stupid.



and that is horrifically selfish. "i want a baby, and i don't care what my partner wants or how the baby will grow up." i am completely baffled and staggered by people who seem to think this way. what. the fuck.


never going to TELL anyone that you think that, anyway. i refuse to believe that there is not a single dna-donor to a single child in the world who doesn't think that the kid was a mistake.

Glad to hear things are looking up, and I sincerely hope they stay that way (if not improve).