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jt512
Aug 11, 2009, 6:46 PM
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You're at the sport crag waiting for your partner to arrive, an unkown climber walks up to you, and asks, "Hey, you want a belay?" You're on the spot. You'd like to get a warm-up burn in, but you don't want to end up on the wrong end of some hapless gymbie's rope. If you hesitate before answering, you risk offense. You must be definitive. It's either got to be, "Sure, that would be great," or "No thanks. I'm still a little hungover." You need a way to size up your potential partner that is systematic, fast, and accurate. In short, you need a
Screening Test for N00bs
Through years of keen observation, I have identified 10 key risk factors for n00bs. Give the climber the number of points indicated for each risk factor. Then sum the points to arrive at the climber's n00b risk score.
Risk factor 1: Helmet
Climber has a helmet at the crag: 2 points
Climber is wearing a helmet belaying: 10 points
Climber wore a helmet on the approach: 25 points
Climber got out of car wearing helmet: 100 points
Risk factor 2: Climbing shoes
Climber's shoes, if not slippers, are made from natural leather: 10 points*
Climber's shoes are made by Mad Rock: 10 points
*Exception 1: Climber's shoes are Firés: -50 points
*Exception 2: Climber's shoes are EBs: -100 points
Risk factor 3: Harness
Any modern harness not made by Petzl: 5 points
Risk factor 4: Belay device(s)
Give the climber 10^n points, where n is the number of belay devices on the climber's harness in excess of one.
In addition:
Does not have a grigri: 10 points
Has a Cinch: 10 points
Has a device whose brand name is "ATC" followed by something: 10 points
Risk factor 5: Quick draws
Anything other than Petzl: 5 points
Dogbones too skinny to grab: 10 points
Petzl logo on dogbones: -50 points
Risk factor 6: Rope bag
Non-Metolius: 5 points
None: 20 points
Risk factor 7: Stick clip
None: 10 points
Risk factor 8: Unnecessary equipment
10^n points, where n is the number of items girth hitched to the climber's harness
10 points for each locking carabiner on the climber's harness not clipped to a belay device
50 points for each quick link on the climber's harness
Risk factor 9: REI
1 point for each appearance of the REI logo on the climber's gear
20 points for each appearance of an REI price tag on the climber's gear
100 points for an REI shopping bag containing the climber's gear
Risk factor 10: The color red
1 point for each red item among the climber's gear, unless the gear is unscratched; then, 10 points.
Red grigri: 15 points
Scoring:
100 or more: Run away.
50–99 points: High n00b probability. Climb with at your own risk.
25–49 points: Possibly a n00b or a visiting trad climber.
0–24 points: Probably an experienced sport climber.
Less than 0: The climber probably knows more about climbing than you do.
(This post was edited by jt512 on Aug 13, 2009, 1:23 AM)
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bill413
Aug 11, 2009, 6:55 PM
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Do I detect a certain Petzl bias?
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caughtinside
Aug 11, 2009, 7:16 PM
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Damn. I checked in at 36. BD rope bag (red by gawd!), a mish mash of non petzl draws, arcteryx harness and no stick clip. I think my shoes are leather as well. Those evolvs are too hot and sweaty for my dogs.
n00b'd!
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lena_chita
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Aug 11, 2009, 7:18 PM
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jt512 wrote: Risk factor 2: Climbing shoes Climber's shoes are made from natural leather: 10 points* Climber's shoes are made by Mad Rock: 10 points *Exception 1: Climber's shoes are Firés: -50 points *Exception 2: Climber's shoes are EBs: -100 points
Hmm, I would have made this one different:
A climber has the shoes clipped to his harness, 10 points
A climber is wearing Bufos, 20 points
A climber is wearing socks with his climbing shoes, 50 points (exceptions apply if the climber is above 50yo and the socks are tube-style, in that case subtract 50)
A climber is wearing his climbing shoes while walking around, 100 points
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bandycoot
Aug 11, 2009, 7:19 PM
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Awesome post Jay! 5 stars for sure! I'm in the "High n00b probability" category. Awesome. I could make a few simple changes (like actually bring my grigri) and that would solve the "problem", but the thing weighs so damn much!
No grigri +10
No stick clip +10
Natural Leather on my "warm up" shoes +10
(Cinch comes with me some days so optional +10)
30-40 for me!
Josh
PS. The 10^n ones are SO MONEY!
(This post was edited by bandycoot on Aug 11, 2009, 7:20 PM)
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jt512
Aug 11, 2009, 7:19 PM
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caughtinside wrote: Damn. I checked in at 36. BD rope bag (red by gawd!), a mish mash of non petzl draws, arcteryx harness and no stick clip. I think my shoes are leather as well. Those evolvs are too hot and sweaty for my dogs. n00b'd!
If I were doing the screening, I wouldn't count the red rope bag against you. Ditto for red ropes or backpacks. Red carabiners, grigris, or dogbones, however, are definite risk factors.
Jay
(This post was edited by jt512 on Aug 11, 2009, 7:30 PM)
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boymeetsrock
Aug 11, 2009, 7:20 PM
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I LOL'd
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jt512
Aug 11, 2009, 7:22 PM
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bandycoot wrote: Awesome post Jay! 5 stars for sure! I'm in the "High n00b probability" category. Awesome. I could make a few simple changes (like actually bring my grigri) and that would solve the "problem", but the thing weighs so damn much! No grigri +10 No stick clip +10 Natural Leather on my "warm up" shoes +10 (Cinch comes wtih me some days so optional +10) 30-40 for me! Josh
OK. You and caughtinside were false positives, according to the current categories, but you both scored under 50. Looks like I need break the 25-99 category into two groups.
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bandycoot
Aug 11, 2009, 7:23 PM
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Yeah, probably. 25-50 could be "Possibly competent but wanks around on cracks too often to know what to bring to a sport crag."
Josh
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jt512
Aug 11, 2009, 7:25 PM
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bandycoot wrote: Yeah, probably. 25-50 could be "Possibly competent but wanks around on cracks too often to know what to bring to a sport crag." Josh
That's basically what I did.
Jay
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caughtinside
Aug 11, 2009, 7:26 PM
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bandycoot wrote: Yeah, probably. 25-50 could be "Possibly competent but wanks around on cracks too often to know what to bring to a sport crag." Josh
Hah! busted.
I may slide in with the shoes though. My katanas and spectros are leather, but they have a small sheet of some synthetic stuff in the forefoot that doesn't stretch to keep the shape. So if I drop the 11 points I'm cusping at 25.
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bandycoot
Aug 11, 2009, 7:32 PM
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You want busted? I bring MYTHOS to the crag! Ha! And, before I bought my first quick draws in 2007 (Petzl) I used to climb exclusively on 2' sling tripled into trad draws! I know, I'm an embarrasment, but wanking around on the cracks is just so damn fun!
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caughtinside
Aug 11, 2009, 8:00 PM
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bandycoot wrote: You want busted? I bring MYTHOS to the crag! Ha! And, before I bought my first quick draws in 2007 (Petzl) I used to climb exclusively on 2' sling tripled into trad draws! I know, I'm an embarrasment, but wanking around on the cracks is just so damn fun!
Mythos... the worst edging shoe of all time.
Might have to factor in a +10 for using the tripled up runners on bolts.
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shoo
Aug 11, 2009, 8:07 PM
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Harness not by Petzl: 5 points
Does not have a grigri: 10 points. I was actually intending to get a cinch, but I'm not sure I can go any higher on this without risking certain n00bhood.
Rope bag, not Metolius: 5 points. My 59 cent blue Ikea bag is the best rope bag/tarp I've ever owned. I'll take my points with pride for this one.
No stick clip: 10 points. Seriously? A stick clip is for experts? If Henry Barber were ever to be found with a stick clip, he'd probably be using it to thwack n00bs over the head.
Red items: 1 point, for my harness
Total: 31. I can live with that.
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knieveltech
Aug 11, 2009, 8:07 PM
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120 points for two girth hitched slings and a couple of lockers? Harsh. 
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shoo
Aug 11, 2009, 8:11 PM
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caughtinside wrote: Might have to factor in a +10 for using the tripled up runners on bolts.
Screw that. Worn tripled runners as draws indicates trad experience, neutral points. Worn, knotted 1" mil-spec slings on Chouinard 'biners gets you -10. Brand new tripled runners and 'biners should net you +10.
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caughtinside
Aug 11, 2009, 8:11 PM
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shoo wrote: No stick clip: 10 points. Seriously? A stick clip is for experts? If Henry Barber were ever to be found with a stick clip, he'd probably be using it to thwack n00bs over the head.
Yeah, most steep and worthy crags tend to be chossy and/or have hard moves right from the get go, so sticking the first bolt is a good idea. It's sport climbing, no one cares how boldly you climb to the first bolt.
I'm just going to not touch that Henry Barber comment...
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gmggg
Aug 11, 2009, 8:13 PM
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Shit! 36. Damn you red grigri!!!! Damn you to hell!!!!!
How much point break can I get if the red is ~60-70% scratched off?
How does it count if I wear my Misty Mountain Cadillac?? + or - it's hard to tell...
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caughtinside
Aug 11, 2009, 8:13 PM
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jt512 wrote: knieveltech wrote: 120 points for two girth hitched slings and a couple of lockers? Harsh. Sorry, Dude. Bandycoot is correct. The 10^n items are indisputable. Besides, haven't we told you to get rid of that second daisy chain elsewhere? Jay
Dead giveaway.
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caughtinside
Aug 11, 2009, 8:15 PM
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gmggg wrote: Shit! 36. Damn you red grigri!!!! Damn you to hell!!!!! How much point break can I get if the red is ~60-70% scratched off? How does it count if I wear my Misty Mountain Cadillac?? + or - it's hard to tell...
wall harness to sport climb, +20.
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caughtinside
Aug 11, 2009, 8:17 PM
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shoo wrote: caughtinside wrote: Might have to factor in a +10 for using the tripled up runners on bolts. Screw that. Worn tripled runners as draws indicates trad experience, neutral points. Worn, knotted 1" mil-spec slings on Chouinard 'biners gets you -10. Brand new tripled runners and 'biners should net you +10.
Worn tripled runners does indicate trad experience, but at a sport crag that could either be a good thing or a bad thing. I'd tend to go bad, since 75% of trad climbers are in the 5.7 crowd.
I will admit to having used tripled runners at sport crags on road trips... and it sucks.
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dingus
Aug 11, 2009, 8:18 PM
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caughtinside wrote: gmggg wrote: Shit! 36. Damn you red grigri!!!! Damn you to hell!!!!! How much point break can I get if the red is ~60-70% scratched off? How does it count if I wear my Misty Mountain Cadillac?? + or - it's hard to tell... wall harness to sport climb, +20.
No. Wall Harness to trad = _+20 (either points or pounds, either will work)
Wall harness to sport climbing? That's gotta be +50, at least.
(yes I have done both, fairly recently haha - but I slimmed down again and the Misty Lard Bucket is no longer a necessity! Yay for me!)
DMT
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