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Screening test for n00bs
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jmeizis


Aug 11, 2009, 2:43 PM
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Re: [shoo] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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What the hell, I got 0 thanks to all the brand bias. I didn't see anything about carrying trad gear at the sport area under "Unnecessary Gear". Did I miss it? I think you're giving the EB's and Fires too much weight. I could walk over to my bosses house and buy them and it'd put me in the more knowledgeable than you category. Definately some good indicators but could still use some revisement. I wish I had those indicators when I started climbing.


suprasoup


Aug 11, 2009, 2:45 PM
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Re: [gmggg] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Crap and I was hoping I'd never be a noob againFrown
2 belay devices and my Silent Partner, a Purcell Prussik, tripled trad draws, my bittersweet crash pad and a beanie. Let's not forget the set of tricams as wellUnsure




(This post was edited by suprasoup on Aug 11, 2009, 3:08 PM)


dingus


Aug 11, 2009, 2:46 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
squishy654 wrote:
jt512 wrote:
squishy654 wrote:
I am ex-Army...

+10

In reply to:
...and I rapped with a figure eight long before that in the Boy Scouts....

+20

In reply to:
I wear old Army T shirts while climbing....

+15

Jay


Hell ya, now I'm noob...!!!

at least I don't clip bolts...

+100

Jay

Lol!

DMT


jt512


Aug 11, 2009, 2:47 PM
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Re: [squishy654] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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squishy654 wrote:
Using old submarine bunk as portaledge: -100

OK, let's review. The premise: You're at a sport crag...

Jay


Climbing_Pink


Aug 11, 2009, 2:54 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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You forgot 6000 NOOb points for being a gear snob and giving a damn about what someone has with them beside you at the crag....


squishy654


Aug 11, 2009, 2:55 PM
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Re: [gmggg] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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gmggg wrote:
squishy654 wrote:
The assumption was that if you carry surplus army gear you must be ex-military. When in fact surplus military gear was all they had in the beginning of Yosemite climbing, but I guess this post is only read by those who do not value such history or even know of it...my bad...I shouldn't be surprised when it turns into a vet bashing thread...it's understandable based on the population I am speaking too...

Yeah damn Commies!!

Oh wait climbing history had a few of those...

Yeah damn pot smokers!!!

Oh wait...

Getting this back on track, how does some ganj factor into your rating of your prospective partner?

This is easy, if they show up and want a puff and say "I haven't done this since high school" +100

If they show up stoned, smoke some more and smoke the whole time, then there's no problem: +/- NA


code08


Aug 11, 2009, 3:42 PM
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Re: Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Damnit I was doing so well till I got to the red equipment. I can't help that red is my favorite color.

+5 for non-petzl harness +1 for it being red
+10 for no gri-gri
+10 for not having a stick clip
+30ish for all my red carabiners ):


climbdork


Aug 11, 2009, 4:49 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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All-Encompassing Risk Factor:
-Gets annoyed/offended when you say or do something that suggests s/he establish her/his belay skills to you before you put your life in her/his hands: +10,000 points


phillygoat


Aug 11, 2009, 5:10 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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You forgot chalkbag connection and a point system that denotes how loose their harness is - maybe +25 if it's hanging off their hips?


gmggg


Aug 11, 2009, 5:28 PM
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Re: [phillygoat] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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phillygoat wrote:
You forgot chalkbag connection and a point system that denotes how loose their harness is - maybe +25 if it's hanging off their hips?

I second chalk bad connection, that's a classic give away.


coolcat83


Aug 11, 2009, 7:36 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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With the usual stuff I bring climbing, which is trad I score a 221, super noob. I don't fair too much better if retooled for spor cause I just don't have all that sporto gear.


Myxomatosis


Aug 11, 2009, 9:02 PM
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Re: [coolcat83] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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I got quite low....

An 8 which I use to rappel (but guess you could say its a belay device) +10
Non Petzl draws +5
Rope Bag +5
Two Safety Slings +10
No Grigri +10
Red Rope Bag +1
Red 8 +1

42... 20 of which are debatable offenses (no lower off's in NZ so two slings and fragile volcanic rock) and my eight which I have never used to belay on.


desertdude420


Aug 11, 2009, 9:42 PM
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Re: [dingus] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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You are supposed to actually take this quiz?! I had no idea that while I was out minding my own business climbing a rock... there was a group of fashionistas judging whether they thought that I was cool enough. Wow.


jt512


Aug 11, 2009, 10:00 PM
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Re: [desertdude420] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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desertdude420 wrote:
You are supposed to actually take this quiz?! I had no idea that while I was out minding my own business climbing a rock... there was a group of fashionistas judging whether they thought that I was cool enough. Wow.

Clueless, insecure respondent #2.

Jay


climbsomething


Aug 12, 2009, 1:43 AM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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I'm surprised there aren't more hurt butts in this thread. But there's enough to keep me from thinking this site has gone into the Twilight Zone.

Souvenirs from HOUSEKEEPING! CURRY!! I'VE BEEN TO YOSEMITE!!!!11 I'd be genuinely impressed if you smoked some of the weed from the plane crash, though.

Thanks to Jay rehabbing me a few years ago (it started on our first crag trip when he called my Reverso a "Perverso"), I got a score of 15. That's owing to my leather shoes and Metolious "NoobTech" harness. 20 if you count my BD et. al. draws, but I haven't used them in years. Sometimes I carry a few in my pack for unforeseen A0 emergencies.

I am absolutely non-apologetic about the harness. It's cush. I'm skinny. I sit a lot.


bill413


Aug 12, 2009, 6:19 AM
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Re: [dingus] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Do I have to score the red points if I mark my gear with red? Frown


bill413


Aug 12, 2009, 6:58 AM
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Re: [squishy654] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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squishy654 wrote:
Early Yosemite climbing was done on nothing but old army surplus biners and gear...go ahead and make sure you call them noobs too...

This thread is about SPORT climbing. Those hardmen were doing CLIMBING, not SPORT Climbing.


gmggg


Aug 12, 2009, 7:07 AM
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Re: [bill413] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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bill413 wrote:
squishy654 wrote:
Early Yosemite climbing was done on nothing but old army surplus biners and gear...go ahead and make sure you call them noobs too...

This thread is about SPORT climbing. Those hardmen were doing CLIMBING, not SPORT Climbing.

Except when they were clipping bolts on the Bachar-Yerian. God those guys were such pussies.


dingus


Aug 12, 2009, 7:16 AM
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Oh sweet Jesus its painful watching you all pretending you know from what...

DMT


gmggg


Aug 12, 2009, 7:42 AM
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Re: [dingus] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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dingus wrote:
Oh sweet Jesus its painful watching you all pretending you know from what...

DMT

Sorry, it had to be said with a statement like "At least I don't clip bolts" thrown out there as an ultimatum...


disturbingthepeace


Aug 12, 2009, 7:52 AM
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Re: [suprasoup] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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suprasoup wrote:
Crap and I was hoping I'd never be a noob againFrown
2 belay devices and my Silent Partner, a Purcell Prussik, tripled trad draws, my bittersweet crash pad and a beanie. Let's not forget the set of tricams as wellUnsure

You're also the hardest climber I know that hates it when the draws are pre-hung, and belays with an ATC. Total sport noob land for you, even if you crush everyone's projects.


dan2see


Aug 12, 2009, 7:56 AM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Yikes! 81 noob points.

But wait!
shoo's Chouinard biners: 6 of those
bandycoots' trad draws: 10 of those

Ha ha! now - 79 pro points!

Going to the crags this afternoon. If it rains while I'm climbing, I'm adding -50 more pro points, so watch out! I'll be so pro, I won't have to climb anymore -- I'll just sit on a rock and look cool.


olderic


Aug 12, 2009, 9:12 AM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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The #1 show stopper should be having a climbing gym certification card dangling from their harness. When I see that I go boulder - and I do NOT ask them to spot.


fresh


Aug 12, 2009, 9:13 AM
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let's see!

helmet: yes, while belaying. (I know a girl who suffered brain damage from rockfall, a guy who got hit by a tree, and a girl recently got hit by a tree, all while belaying/chilling at rumney.) 10 points! and another 25, sometimes I wear it on the approach cuz I'm lazy. edit: oh SHIIII I forgot that sometimes I wear a helmet driving for chuckles. 100 points!

shoes: all leather, 10 points! (do we get extra points for extra leather shoes?)

metolius harness, 5 points!

belay device: I only use a gri-gri for bringing up a second on multi-pitch, 10 points!

quickdraws: unfortunately I use petzl draws, but I feel like putting BD/WC carabiners on them should count for something.

rope bag: damn, metolius.

no stick clip: 10 points!

unnecessary equipment: sling girth hitched, and another locker for clipping, and a locker with a prussik! woohoo 30 points! although in honestly, what else are people using besides a PAS to rap off of routes?

fuck, no rei.

red items: 10 heliums, 1 red sling, 2 dmm spectros, there's a little bit of red on my scarpa spectros I think, and sometimes I wear a red shirt. 15 points!

grand total: 215!

NEVER CLIMB WITH ME.


(This post was edited by fresh on Aug 12, 2009, 9:15 AM)


Partner cracklover


Aug 12, 2009, 10:15 AM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Ooh, this is fun!

Let's see...

Risk factor 1: Helmet
+2 (Sport crags are chossy)

Risk factor 2: Climbing shoes
+1 (Acopas)

Risk factor 3: Harness
0

Risk factor 4: Belay device(s)
0

Risk factor 5: Quick draws
+5 (for non-pretzl)

Risk factor 6: Rope bag
0

Risk factor 7: Stick clip
+10 (only bring a stick clip about 10% of the time)

Risk factor 8: Unnecessary equipment
0

Risk factor 9: REI
0 (and funny!)

Risk factor 10: The color red
+10 (some of my biners are anodyzed. So what?)

Scoring:
2549 points: Possibly a n00b or a visiting trad climber.

I plead guilty as charged, but would like to request a lenient sentence, as I think my heliums are kickass rope-end biners. Better than any pretzl crap.

Edited to add: my total score is 28.

GO


(This post was edited by cracklover on Aug 12, 2009, 10:17 AM)

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