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Screening test for n00bs
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Partner cracklover


Aug 12, 2009, 10:27 AM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Oh, and five stars.

GO


jt512


Aug 12, 2009, 10:43 AM
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Re: [cracklover] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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cracklover wrote:
Ooh, this is fun!

Let's see...

Risk factor 1: Helmet
+2 (Sport crags are chossy)

Risk factor 2: Climbing shoes
+1 (Acopas)

Risk factor 3: Harness
0

Risk factor 4: Belay device(s)
0

Risk factor 5: Quick draws
+5 (for non-pretzl)

Risk factor 6: Rope bag
0

Risk factor 7: Stick clip
+10 (only bring a stick clip about 10% of the time)

Risk factor 8: Unnecessary equipment
0

Risk factor 9: REI
0 (and funny!)

Risk factor 10: The color red
+10 (some of my biners are anodyzed. So what?)

Scoring:
2549 points: Possibly a n00b or a visiting trad climber.

I plead guilty as charged, but would like to request a lenient sentence, as I think my heliums are kickass rope-end biners. Better than any pretzl crap.

Heliums are light, which makes them good for trad, and bad for sport. Also, don't load 'em over an edge.

Jay


climbsomething


Aug 12, 2009, 11:14 AM
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Re: [gmggg] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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gmggg wrote:
bill413 wrote:
squishy654 wrote:
Early Yosemite climbing was done on nothing but old army surplus biners and gear...go ahead and make sure you call them noobs too...

This thread is about SPORT climbing. Those hardmen were doing CLIMBING, not SPORT Climbing.

Except when they were clipping bolts on the Bachar-Yerian. God those guys were such pussies.
Bachar-Yerian- the ultimate sport climb!


shoo


Aug 12, 2009, 11:18 AM
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Re: [fresh] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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fresh wrote:
let's see!

helmet: yes, while belaying. (I know a girl who suffered brain damage from rockfall, a guy who got hit by a tree, and a girl recently got hit by a tree, all while belaying/chilling at rumney.)

No you don't. She was at East Peak in CT, which is a trad area well known for being chosstacular.


fresh


Aug 12, 2009, 12:08 PM
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Re: [shoo] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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shit, my mistake. I guess that means that all injuries at rumney have been caused by trees.


dingus


Aug 12, 2009, 12:09 PM
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Re: [climbsomething] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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climbsomething wrote:
gmggg wrote:
bill413 wrote:
squishy654 wrote:
Early Yosemite climbing was done on nothing but old army surplus biners and gear...go ahead and make sure you call them noobs too...

This thread is about SPORT climbing. Those hardmen were doing CLIMBING, not SPORT Climbing.

Except when they were clipping bolts on the Bachar-Yerian. God those guys were such pussies.
Bachar-Yerian- the ultimate sport climb!

But only if you're wearing army rejects!

(I can just IMAGINE the stonemasters wearing that military garbage bwaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

DMT


cleethree


Aug 12, 2009, 12:18 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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I bring a helmet, wear La Sportiva Katanas and a BD harness. I don't use a grigri but an ATC guide. My draws are also BD, I use a bluewater rope bag and don't carry a stick clip.

67 Points! I dont feel like doing any extra belaying anyways. Frown


rockandlice


Aug 12, 2009, 1:11 PM
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Re: [cleethree] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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15 points.

BD harness and I carry an old tube and gri. Tube to rap. Tongue

Edit to ask: If I resoled any of my old Vectors or Lasers and wore them, could I get like a -1/2 point?


(This post was edited by rockandlice on Aug 12, 2009, 1:12 PM)


jeepnphreak


Aug 12, 2009, 1:55 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Ths is an interesting test for n00bness. I did a quick add up of my gear list according to each factor.

My score was -25 (climbing for 12 years)way to go for the petzl gear.

my buddy that have been climbing for 6 months score of 55. Although is do trust him he still pulls a few bone head moves,


Oh and I think that 2 points for the helmet on while belaying is crap. I do ware a helmet while belaying because I hat getting hit my rocks while my bone head friend is above me. so mehhh!!!!


shimanilami


Aug 12, 2009, 2:09 PM
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Re: [fresh] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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fresh wrote:
...belay device: I only use a gri-gri for bringing up a second on multi-pitch...

This goes beyond "simple noob" and into the realm of "jackass noob". You deserve extra points for that.

Even without, I think you've won.


Partner cracklover


Aug 12, 2009, 2:19 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
Risk factor 10: The color red

Well, call me a n00b or a traddie, but I still don't get what this ^^^ is about.

GO


boymeetsrock


Aug 12, 2009, 2:20 PM
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Re: [cracklover] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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cracklover wrote:
jt512 wrote:
Risk factor 10: The color red

Well, call me a n00b or a traddie, but I still don't get what this ^^^ is about.

GO

+1


jt512


Aug 12, 2009, 2:31 PM
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Re: [cracklover] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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cracklover wrote:
jt512 wrote:
Risk factor 10: The color red

Well, call me a n00b or a traddie, but I still don't get what this ^^^ is about.

GO

I don't think most of the people in thread get what any of it is about. I don't know why n00bs are more likely to have red gear than experienced climbers, but in my experience, they are. Next time you go to a sport crag, look around for the guy with the matching red quickdraws. Odds are, he's the n00b.

Jay


rockandlice


Aug 12, 2009, 2:44 PM
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I read an article once that the color red in general attracts n00bs. I did see any sufficient evidence to back this up until I started being on the lookout at the crags.


gmggg


Aug 12, 2009, 2:53 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
cracklover wrote:
jt512 wrote:
Risk factor 10: The color red

Well, call me a n00b or a traddie, but I still don't get what this ^^^ is about.

GO

I don't think most of the people in thread get what any of it is about. I don't know why n00bs are more likely to have red gear than experienced climbers, but in my experience, they are. Next time you go to a sport crag, look around for the guy with the matching red quickdraws. Odds are, he's the n00b.

Jay

Ah, but that's the funniest part...


kriso9tails


Aug 12, 2009, 3:22 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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In reply to:
Risk factor 5: Quick draws
Anything other than Petzl: 5 points
Dogbones too skinny to grab: 10 points
Petzl logo on dogbones: -50 points


I'm all over the map on this one, but it's the only category where I'm registering any points (I meet all three parts). My draws are the way they are for a reason, and oddly enough I have been asked more than once about it, but my explanation has been reduced to, "Fuck you. That's why."


jt512


Aug 12, 2009, 3:33 PM
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Re: [kriso9tails] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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kriso9tails wrote:
In reply to:
Risk factor 5: Quick draws
Anything other than Petzl: 5 points
Dogbones too skinny to grab: 10 points
Petzl logo on dogbones: -50 points


I'm all over the map on this one, but it's the only category where I'm registering any points (I meet all three parts). My draws are the way they are for a reason, and oddly enough I have been asked more than once about it, but my explanation has been reduced to, "Fuck you. That's why."

How'd you score the logo dogbones?

Jay


vincent


Aug 12, 2009, 4:08 PM
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kriso9tails


Aug 12, 2009, 4:10 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Errr... no, I think I've mashed up a combination in my head of my old gear, current gear, samples and vendor images for Petzl that I've been looking through for work recently. Long day.

+50 n00b points to me for not remembering what my own damn gear looks like. (Jebus help me)

Well, at least none of my draws have any red in them for certain.


jt512


Aug 12, 2009, 4:10 PM
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Re: [vincent] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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vincent wrote:
+ 500 if the climber in question has over 16,000 posts on rockclimbing.com.

Ever notice that the only people who point out post counts are n00bs?

Jay


vincent


Aug 12, 2009, 4:13 PM
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+ 200 if they jump on rockclimbing.com to defend themselves anytime someone hurts their feelings.


kriso9tails


Aug 12, 2009, 4:36 PM
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Re: [vincent] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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That's going be kind of hard to figure out at the crag.

You suffering from post envy or something?


jt512


Aug 12, 2009, 4:38 PM
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vincent wrote:
+ 200 if they jump on rockclimbing.com to defend themselves anytime someone hurts their feelings.

You think you hurt my feelings?

Jay


vincent


Aug 12, 2009, 4:40 PM
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It's ok jt , you're still my internet climbing hero.


knieveltech


Aug 12, 2009, 5:18 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
vincent wrote:
+ 200 if they jump on rockclimbing.com to defend themselves anytime someone hurts their feelings.

You think you hurt my feelings?

Jay

Congratulations on your new groupie! Teach it how to troll, will you? This is embarrassing.

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