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gmggg


Aug 12, 2009, 5:18 PM
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Re: [vincent] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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vincent wrote:
It's ok jt , you're still my internet climbing hero.

As silly and useless as your last couple posts were, this one was actually pretty funny. If you made it up then kudos to you.


jt512


Aug 12, 2009, 5:56 PM
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Re: [knieveltech] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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knieveltech wrote:
jt512 wrote:
vincent wrote:
+ 200 if they jump on rockclimbing.com to defend themselves anytime someone hurts their feelings.

You think you hurt my feelings?

Jay

Congratulations on your new groupie! Teach it how to troll, will you?

He doesn't strike me as being very bright. He accuses me of being a n00b (as if there's anything wrong with that, in the first place), even though my profile indicates that I've been climbing since he was in diapers. Moreover, he bases the accusation on my having a high post countóa post count that I have accumulated over nearly a decade of active participation on a rock climbing site. His profile says he's a teacher. I have to wonder what subject he teaches; hopefully, not mathematics or logic. He doesn't seem teachable, himself, to me.

Jay


billcoe_


Aug 12, 2009, 9:38 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
If I were doing the screening, I wouldn't count the red rope bag against you. Ditto for red ropes or backpacks. Red carabiners, grigris, or dogbones, however, are definite risk factors.

Jay

Good stuff on this thread Jay. I'd like to see it collated and organized a bit. I have the new red Wild Country Helium's...I see it as a second childhood thing though where I can go buy the shiny new gear like I had 37 years ago when I started out. Even if the old Eiger Ovals were not anodized...and only tested to 1800 lbs - gate closed! At least they were new and shiny.

Not much else though.


jt512


Aug 12, 2009, 9:55 PM
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Re: [kriso9tails] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
How'd you score the [Petzl] logo dogbones?

kriso9tails wrote:
Errr... no, I think I've mashed up a combination in my head of my old gear, current gear, samples and vendor images for Petzl that I've been looking through for work recently. Long day.

+50 n00b points to me for not remembering what my own damn gear looks like. (Jebus help me)

I was going to say, I'm in a Petzl-sponsored DVD, and all I got was a T-shirt, and I had to give it back, come to think of it. The logo draws are a prize.

Jay


(This post was edited by jt512 on Aug 12, 2009, 9:59 PM)


quiteatingmysteak


Aug 12, 2009, 10:38 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Hahahah, oh man, that was great.

It looks like I'm somewhere around 16 points, for having a non petzl harness, no stick clip and red Acopa's. Other than that, I've seen 150+'s out there.

This is SPORT cragging, right? The last place you'd expect to see aid climbing gear, like a daisy chain or helmet...

But seriously, arcteryx harnesses are great for when I flail on 10c's.


Guran


Aug 13, 2009, 1:59 AM
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Re: [olderic] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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olderic wrote:
The #1 show stopper should be having a climbing gym certification card dangling from their harness. When I see that I go boulder - and I do NOT ask them to spot.

O dang, I'm actually guilty of this! The card is even red, actually.

(Since I suppose attached to my chalk bag is as bad as dangling from my harness.)
And I agree that's the noob sign above all noob signs. Note to self: Must separate gym kit from rock kit. Yes even chalk bag.

And btw my draws are BD. So is my harness. Which by the way has a maillon rapide on it. Have seen anchors with only hangers more than once.
Wear a helmet too. Even belaying. Used to skip it on sport climbs when I was a noob pretending I wasn't. Seen too much rockfall since then.

My n00b score is in the triple digits. Fine by me, since it means YOU'll belay, I'll climb, muahahah!


qwert


Aug 13, 2009, 5:15 AM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Well lets see:


Risk factor 1: Helmet
Climber is wearing a helmet belaying: 10 points

How many points do i get if i wear my helmet on the approach when done by bike?

But anyways: I have never met any rock that was so rock solid (har har) that i didnt want to wear a helmet. I know way to much about rocks to not wear one.
how about n00b points for NOT wearing a helmet? Or wearing a helmet that doesnt fit (you all know them: absolute n00bs, with their helmet sitting somewhere in their neck)

Risk factor 2: Climbing shoes
Climber's shoes, if not slippers, are made from natural leather: 10 points*

Do i get extra points if i often wear them while belaying or walking to the next climb?
My toenails are way to fucked up for uncomfortable shoes.

Risk factor 3: Harness
Any modern harness not made by Petzl: 5 points

Risk factor 4: Belay device(s)
Give the climber 10^n points, where n is the number of belay devices on the climber's harness in excess of one.
Does a big locker that could get used as a munter in addition to my TRE count?
In addition:
Does not have a grigri: 10 points

Has a device whose brand name is "ATC" followed by something: 10 points
Sometimes i use my ATC-XP

Risk factor 5: Quick draws
Anything other than Petzl: 5 points

Dogbones too skinny to grab: 10 points

About half of my quickdraws are the skinny ones, but i actually think they are quite good to grab. how about 5 points for that?

Risk factor 6: Rope bag
Non-Metolius: 5 points

Risk factor 7: Stick clip
None: 10 points

Risk factor 8: Unnecessary equipment
10^n points, where n is the number of items girth hitched to the climber's harness

Do slings on the shoulder count?

10 points for each locking carabiner on the climber's harness not clipped to a belay device

10 to 40 points, depending on wehter i could be bothered to "clean" my harness
What do i get for prussik loops and a tibloc and some trad gear, for those climbs that are not bolt ladders?

Risk factor 10: The color red
1 point for each red item among the climber's gear
Red helmet, a couple of red slings, a few red biners, so about 8 points

Scoring:

So at minimum i got 88.
depending on what the unclear things are worth i could go as high as a few 1000s.
So its either
100 or more: Run away.
or
50–99 points: High n00b probability. Climb with at your own risk.

UnsureUnsure
I am such a sport n00b.
I guess all the years i am climbing i did it rong.

I heard ultimate fresbee is nice? anyone wants to buy my gear so that i can get my fresbees?

qwert


bill413


Aug 13, 2009, 6:01 AM
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Re: [qwert] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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qwert wrote:
So at minimum i got 88.
depending on what the unclear things are worth i could go as high as a few 1000s.
So its either
100 or more: Run away.
or
50–99 points: High n00b probability. Climb with at your own risk.

UnsureUnsure
I am such a sport n00b.
I guess all the years i am climbing i did it rong.

I heard ultimate fresbee is nice? anyone wants to buy my gear so that i can get my fresbees?

qwert

As long as you aren't planning on getting red ones.


king_rat


Aug 13, 2009, 7:22 AM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Yikes, Iíve scored 66 Iím defiantly a Noob


dingus


Aug 13, 2009, 7:28 AM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
jt512 wrote:
How'd you score the [Petzl] logo dogbones?

kriso9tails wrote:
Errr... no, I think I've mashed up a combination in my head of my old gear, current gear, samples and vendor images for Petzl that I've been looking through for work recently. Long day.

+50 n00b points to me for not remembering what my own damn gear looks like. (Jebus help me)

I was going to say, I'm in a Petzl-sponsored DVD, and all I got was a T-shirt, and I had to give it back, come to think of it. The logo draws are a prize.

Jay

The male American wearer of a Petzl harness has a 75% chance of being gay, according to a recent AMGU study. If that man also sport climbs it rises (hehe) to 85%.

Let your freak flag fly J!

DMT


jt512


Aug 13, 2009, 7:33 AM
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Re: [dingus] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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dingus wrote:
jt512 wrote:
jt512 wrote:
How'd you score the [Petzl] logo dogbones?

kriso9tails wrote:
Errr... no, I think I've mashed up a combination in my head of my old gear, current gear, samples and vendor images for Petzl that I've been looking through for work recently. Long day.

+50 n00b points to me for not remembering what my own damn gear looks like. (Jebus help me)

I was going to say, I'm in a Petzl-sponsored DVD, and all I got was a T-shirt, and I had to give it back, come to think of it. The logo draws are a prize.

Jay

The male American wearer of a Petzl harness has a 75% chance of being gay, according to a recent AMGU study. If that man also sport climbs it rises (hehe) to 85%.

I'd believe it.

Jay


gmggg


Aug 13, 2009, 7:41 AM
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Re: [dingus] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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dingus wrote:
jt512 wrote:
jt512 wrote:
How'd you score the [Petzl] logo dogbones?

kriso9tails wrote:
Errr... no, I think I've mashed up a combination in my head of my old gear, current gear, samples and vendor images for Petzl that I've been looking through for work recently. Long day.

+50 n00b points to me for not remembering what my own damn gear looks like. (Jebus help me)

I was going to say, I'm in a Petzl-sponsored DVD, and all I got was a T-shirt, and I had to give it back, come to think of it. The logo draws are a prize.

Jay

The male American wearer of a Petzl harness has a 75% chance of being gay, according to a recent AMGU study. If that man also sport climbs it rises (hehe) to 85%.

Let your freak flag fly J!

DMT

That also explains the aversion to certain colors. Brown is the new black!


billcoe_


Aug 13, 2009, 12:57 PM
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Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Uses the word "Climbing" interchangeably for climbing anything be it sport, trad, buildings, stairs or alpine ....-20

Actually uses the words "Sport" and "Trad" + 20


Johnny_Fang


Aug 13, 2009, 1:55 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
jt512 wrote:
How'd you score the [Petzl] logo dogbones?

kriso9tails wrote:
Errr... no, I think I've mashed up a combination in my head of my old gear, current gear, samples and vendor images for Petzl that I've been looking through for work recently. Long day.

+50 n00b points to me for not remembering what my own damn gear looks like. (Jebus help me)

I was going to say, I'm in a Petzl-sponsored DVD, and all I got was a T-shirt, and I had to give it back, come to think of it. The logo draws are a prize.

Jay

there's a bunch of 'em hanging off of dreamcatcher right now. come and get 'em.


suprasoup


Aug 13, 2009, 2:09 PM
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Re: [disturbingthepeace] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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disturbingthepeace wrote:
suprasoup wrote:
Crap and I was hoping I'd never be a noob againFrown
2 belay devices and my Silent Partner, a Purcell Prussik, tripled trad draws, my bittersweet crash pad and a beanie. Let's not forget the set of tricams as wellUnsure

You're also the hardest climber I know that hates it when the draws are pre-hung, and belays with an ATC. Total sport noob land for you, even if you crush everyone's projects.

harsh man, harshFrown Guess that means I can't hang with the kewl kids anymore.


dingus


Aug 13, 2009, 3:09 PM
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Re: [billcoe_] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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billcoe_ wrote:
Uses the word "Climbing" interchangeably for climbing anything be it sport, trad, buildings, stairs or alpine ....-20

Actually uses the words "Sport" and "Trad" + 20

Me too and I include skiing, hiking and peak bagging in that genre too and I don't give a fuck who likes it or not.

"I'm going climbing" can mean a lot of things to me and it only means one thing to Mrs Milktoast...

Mrs Milktoast wrote:
THANK GOD!

DMT


wanderlustmd


Aug 13, 2009, 3:36 PM
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Re: [cracklover] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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What if you have some older BD draws but they were a gift?


wanderlustmd


Aug 13, 2009, 3:37 PM
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Good thread, btw.


iamthewallress


Aug 13, 2009, 3:46 PM
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Re: [wanderlustmd] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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48 for me. I just barely made the visiting trad climber cut. LOL.

I've told this story before, but it's a propos here.

When our house burned, we lost all of our climbing gear. Luckily, insurance paid for us to get shiney new gear. C4s had only been out for a couple of months, so in addition to the bold colors and sparkling, unscathed anodization, the item itself, when comprising 100% of the large cams on one's rack, was a serious n00b flag.

Anyhoo, there were only a few minutes left in the day, so we thought we'd try to cram a climb in at a roadside n00b-dominated (and guide-dominated) area where I had never actually climbed before.

The climb in question was 5.9 A0 or 5.11. My bf racked up as the duo that had just been on the route tried to disuade him. He danced 5.11 moves past the A0 and the slack jawed guy like it was nothing. Then the guy turned to me and said, "How hard does that guy climb in the gym?" LOL.

They were actually really sweet and confessed that they saw the gear and thought we were in for something ugly.

A bitchy girl at Indian Creek gave me grief about that rack too, but her assumption was that I must be the Paris Hilton of climbing gear and rerack whenever something new hits the stores.


(This post was edited by iamthewallress on Aug 14, 2009, 3:10 PM)


choplops


Aug 13, 2009, 4:33 PM
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Re: [iamthewallress] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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If you climb in Pennsylvania, you should be considered a newb (because PA crags are choss, everybody wears helmets who actually climbs at these "crags") (at least eastern PA crags) your newbishness can also be exposed if your first post is about asking for directions to a secret PA crag!Pirate Now I just sit back and wait for the hate from people committed to the "PA kicks ass" lie


(This post was edited by choplops on Aug 13, 2009, 4:36 PM)


jt512


Aug 13, 2009, 4:43 PM
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Re: [choplops] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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choplops wrote:
If you climb in Pennsylvania...

Risk factor 11: Location
Pennsylvania: 50 points

Jay


rockandlice


Aug 13, 2009, 5:01 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Oh, I've got a risk factor to add. I over heard this at the crag last month.

Dude 1: "Hey man, do you want to lead this one?"

Dude 2: "Nah man, I'm not yet certified to lead."


ShockedShockedLaughLaughLaugh


kriso9tails


Aug 13, 2009, 6:15 PM
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rockandlice wrote:
Oh, I've got a risk factor to add. I over heard this at the crag last month.

Dude 1: "Hey man, do you want to lead this one?"

Dude 2: "Nah man, I'm not yet certified to lead."


ShockedShockedLaughLaughLaugh

Conversely: refers to oneself as a 'guide' within the first five minutes of conversation when no one was asking.


rockandlice


Aug 13, 2009, 7:35 PM
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kriso9tails wrote:
rockandlice wrote:
Oh, I've got a risk factor to add. I over heard this at the crag last month.

Dude 1: "Hey man, do you want to lead this one?"

Dude 2: "Nah man, I'm not yet certified to lead."


ShockedShockedLaughLaughLaugh

Conversely: refers to oneself as a 'guide' within the first five minutes of conversation when no one was asking.


How can you tell if someone at a party or bar is a climbing guide?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

They'll tell you.


sungam


Aug 16, 2009, 10:43 AM
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lena_chita wrote:
A climber is wearing socks with his climbing shoes, 50 points (exceptions apply if the climber is above 50yo and the socks are tube-style, in that case subtract 50)

That would be Dave MacLeod on Perfect Crime 8B.

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