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sungam
Aug 19, 2009, 4:50 AM
Post #1 of 64
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You know the drill.
Risk factor 1: Helmet
Foam only helmet +25 points
Non-climbing helmet +100 points
Risk Factor 2: Footwear
Trendy approach shoes +15 points
Plastics +5 points
Has to remove climbing shoes during route from fit, +25 points
cotton socks +25 points
Risk factor 3: Harness
Less then 4 gear loops +n points, where n= 4-number of loops
Risk factor 4: Belay devices
Any autolocker +25 points
risk factor 5: rack
Uneccasary cams - +10 points for each cam above camalot 3 or below camalot .5, unless specially needed
Hexes, as replacment for 2nd set of cams -25 points, uneeded, +25 points
Nuts -5 points for having WC ultralights in the smaller sizes.
+10 points for each sport draw.
+5points if they double up their double shoulder length slings and put them over their should instead of clipping them to themselves around the shoulder for easy removal.
+50 points for any gear they haven't already used twice (not the exact piece, but that type).
Risk factor 6: uneccasary shit on harness
Nalgene +5
pertex windcheater (a la montane) clipped to the back -5
no "oh shit" beaner +25
chalkbag attached with anything but full-strength cord or bootlace +15
Daisy chains wrapped around +10
Risk factor 7: topo
+10 for full book
+5 for torn out page
-5 for lamented cut out.
-another 5 points if they already read over it several times and barely have to glance at it.
Risk factor 8: clothing
+50 for each piece of cotton clothing (unless it's a T in the backpack for a summit shot)
+15 if they start the approach with all their clothes on.
+10 for anything down filled other then sleepingbag
+5 for cheapo walking poles
risk factor 9: facial hair
full beard to protect them from the elements -15
skinny mustache +5
Kain style mustache -10 (-another 10 if they rock the pipe Kain style, too)
sideburns +5
-5 if it's grey.
Risk factor 10: pack
-25 if it's cold cold world or gilogear
+10 if it has side pockets
+5 for each thing hanging off the side.
+10 if it's not made by a reputable brand
+15 if there's no removable backplate.
>100 = cutz the rope and run
>75 = newb
>50 = sketch
>25 = iffy
>0 sounds good
0 or less - good partner.
<-50 fuck yeah.
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jt512
Aug 19, 2009, 4:55 AM
Post #2 of 64
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Do I have to copyright my posts?!
Jay
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bennydh
Aug 19, 2009, 5:19 AM
Post #3 of 64
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jt512 wrote: Do I have to copyright my posts?! Jay
Section (h) of the "Terms of Service" addresses reproduction and use by RC.noob, but there is a little bit of ambiguity as to whether or not other users can copy or use, user generated content, and whether or not you maintain ownership over the content you post.
::Insert bored smiley here::
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skiclimb
Aug 19, 2009, 5:25 AM
Post #4 of 64
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I climb some mountains nude..class 5 even... how many points?
although I'll admit I usually cheat and use worn out walmart cheepo shoes and have clothes stashed in a pack somewhere below.
looking forward to shasta next weekend...cmon decent weather..
(This post was edited by skiclimb on Aug 19, 2009, 5:29 AM)
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sungam
Aug 19, 2009, 5:35 AM
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skiclimb wrote: I climb some mountains nude..class 5 even... how many points? although I'll admit I usually cheat and use worn out walmart cheepo shoes and have clothes stashed in a pack somewhere below. looking forward to shasta next weekend...cmon decent weather..
Which weekend? The one coming or the one after?
Maybe see you there...
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Guran
Aug 19, 2009, 9:21 AM
Post #6 of 64
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Posts: 220
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Yay I can does alpinez!
(0 points, damned down vest cost me. Usually get a beard going for an alpine trip but it's not thick enough to get me anti-noob-points until it's time to head back home.)
Oh btw should it not be -5 points for each gaffa tape repair on the clothes?
No altimeter: +15
Crampons without anti-balling plates: +50
Tech ice tool for a glacier approach: +20 (some bad ass alpinist know how to use them for rescue. +50 if climber does not look bad ass)
On a motorized approach (télèpherique, cog wheel train; whatever)
Stunned by the view: +10
Breaks out camera: +10
Calling out names of summits: +5
Getting them wrong: +20
Desperately getting some sleep: -15
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sungam
Aug 19, 2009, 5:23 PM
Post #7 of 64
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Fine additions omfgwtf@ me forgetting to put something in about tools and poons, but "stunned by the view"...
First time to, say, the Bugaboos always stuns. It's just so freaking awesome.
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tigerlilly
Aug 19, 2009, 8:18 PM
Post #8 of 64
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sungam wrote: risk factor 9: facial hair full beard to protect them from the elements -15 skinny mustache +5 Kain style mustache -10 (-another 10 if they rock the pipe Kain style, too) sideburns +5 -5 if it's grey.
Um, even for the women?
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sungam
Aug 19, 2009, 8:29 PM
Post #9 of 64
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tigerlilly wrote: sungam wrote: risk factor 9: facial hair full beard to protect them from the elements -15 skinny mustache +5 Kain style mustache -10 (-another 10 if they rock the pipe Kain style, too) sideburns +5 -5 if it's grey. Um, even for the women?
In fact, have another -50 just for being a woman with facial hair.
I'm serious, you can have all-50 of them, that is bad ass.
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shimanilami
Aug 19, 2009, 8:42 PM
Post #10 of 64
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Trendy approach shoes +15
Green, yellow and red aliens +30
Laminated topos -5
I'm "iffy" by your criteria, so something must be missing. Because without doubt, I should be in the "cut the rope and run" category.
Ahh. That's it. You didn't list "drinks wine coolers after sending: -1,000,000 points" amongst your criteria.
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sungam
Aug 19, 2009, 8:45 PM
Post #11 of 64
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French rabbit or gag in a bag?
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i_h8_choss
Aug 19, 2009, 8:57 PM
Post #12 of 64
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skiclimb wrote: I climb some mountains nude..class 5 even... how many points? although I'll admit I usually cheat and use worn out walmart cheepo shoes and have clothes stashed in a pack somewhere below. looking forward to shasta next weekend...cmon decent weather..
A late summer scramble up a 14er?......sounds lame, I think I'll stay at home, get drunk, talk sh*t on the web, then do some bouldering.
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bobbj22
Aug 19, 2009, 9:04 PM
Post #13 of 64
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Posts: 54
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In reply to: skinny mustache +5 Kain style mustache -10 (-another 10 if they rock the pipe Kain style, too) sideburns +5 -5 if it's grey.
Does this include pubic hair?
There are several possibilities here. To list a few...the hitler stache, the landing strip, all natural, trimmed, shaved, the bonzai tree, the joe dirt, the lightning bolt, fuzzy peaches, and my favorite- the unibrow.
point ratings please?
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sungam
Aug 19, 2009, 10:03 PM
Post #14 of 64
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bobbj22 wrote: In reply to: skinny mustache +5 Kain style mustache -10 (-another 10 if they rock the pipe Kain style, too) sideburns +5 -5 if it's grey. Does this include pubic hair? There are several possibilities here. To list a few...the hitler stache, the landing strip, all natural, trimmed, shaved, the bonzai tree, the joe dirt, the lightning bolt, fuzzy peaches, and my favorite- the unibrow. point ratings please?
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Lazlo
Aug 19, 2009, 10:03 PM
Post #15 of 64
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i_h8_choss wrote: skiclimb wrote: I climb some mountains nude..class 5 even... how many points? although I'll admit I usually cheat and use worn out walmart cheepo shoes and have clothes stashed in a pack somewhere below. looking forward to shasta next weekend...cmon decent weather.. A late summer scramble up a 14er?......sounds lame, I think I'll stay at home, get drunk, talk sh*t on the web, then do some bouldering.
This late in the season, you climb glaciers...not scree.
Have fun bouldering.
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moose_droppings
Aug 19, 2009, 10:20 PM
Post #16 of 64
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Registered: Jun 7, 2005
Posts: 3371
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A third lung -50
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sungam
Aug 19, 2009, 10:28 PM
Post #17 of 64
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moose_droppings wrote: A third lung -50
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i_h8_choss
Aug 19, 2009, 10:29 PM
Post #18 of 64
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Suncups everywhere, soft slush by 9a.m.? I usually climb on glaciers in May/June. The views still the same though.
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moose_droppings
Aug 19, 2009, 10:41 PM
Post #19 of 64
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Gotta wonder with some of those guys.
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ryanb
Aug 19, 2009, 10:59 PM
Post #21 of 64
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Registered: Nov 4, 2004
Posts: 832
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Risk factor 1: Helmet
Foam only helmet +25 points
Think we have discussed this before...i'm all about the foam I get 25.
Risk Factor 2: Footwear
Trendy approach shoes +15 points
Has to remove climbing shoes during route from fit, +25 points
I get full score on this...What do I get for scrambling back to the pack barefoot (put the rock shoes on for the scree bits) because I didn't want to carry my fancy approach shoes up a 5.11 and my rock shoes hurt like hell by the end?
40 pts
Risk factor 4: Belay devices
Any autolocker +25
Have wished I had (when my partner starts dogging) but haven't actually taken it on anything truly alpine
risk factor 5: rack
+10 points for each sport draw.
On harder routes I usually carry and use a couple of wire gate sport draws along with a bunch of tripled slings.
20pts
Risk factor 6: uneccasary shit on harness
Nalgene +5
What if the pack is left at the base? Where do you put the water then?
5pts
Daisy chains wrapped around +10
Not sure what this means but i do carry a girth double sling for a tether.
15 pts
Risk factor 7: topo
I've done all of em but tend towards a zerox in a ziplock 0pts
Risk factor 8: clothing
+15 if they start the approach with all their clothes on.
Start of the approach is often the coldest part of the day...I often start bundled and plan on stripping down as soon as I'm warm.
15 pts
risk factor 9: facial hair
full beard to protect them from the elements -15
-15 points
Risk factor 10: pack
+5 for each thing hanging off the side.
Pretty often I'll take a small pack with stuff that will be in use on the climb (rock shoes, harness, helmet, butterfly coiled rope) hanging outside on the approach.
5 pts
Total: 105 pts
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sungam
Aug 19, 2009, 11:16 PM
Post #22 of 64
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Seriously, foam only on a long alpine route? What if you get hit by 2 rocks or big chunks of ice?
I've certainly taken a hit hard enough to damage a foam helmet prior to being hit repeatidly by smaller chunks of ice, a foam would have sucked ass then.
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ryanb
Aug 19, 2009, 11:26 PM
Post #23 of 64
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I don't climb ice very often (not since i made the switch to foam come to think of it) and tend towards steeper and cleaner rock routes. These also tend to have harder free moves and as such i feel flipping in a fall is a bigger worry then getting hit with anything. This study convinced me foam was the way to go:
http://www.thebmc.co.uk/Feature.aspx?id=1534
I might pick up a foam and hard shell helmet if there is a good one on the market when my bd tracer gets retired but for now it is serving me quite well...its even caught its share of gravel/kitty litter.
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sungam
Aug 20, 2009, 12:01 AM
Post #24 of 64
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ryanb wrote: I don't climb ice very often (not since i made the switch to foam come to think of it) and tend towards steeper and cleaner rock routes. These also tend to have harder free moves and as such i feel flipping in a fall is a bigger worry then getting hit with anything.
I guess on stuff like hard routes in the Bugaboos a foam helmet would be best, but when I think of alpine, I always think of Ben Nevis ice rain and Caingorm death blocks.
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EvilMonkey
Aug 20, 2009, 1:37 AM
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sungam wrote: ryanb wrote: I don't climb ice very often (not since i made the switch to foam come to think of it) and tend towards steeper and cleaner rock routes. These also tend to have harder free moves and as such i feel flipping in a fall is a bigger worry then getting hit with anything. Well, that's fair enough then. I guess whenever I think of alpine climbing I also think of ice climbing as part of that. I guess on stuff like hard routes in the Bugaboos a foam helmet would be best, but when I think of alpine, I always think of Ben Nevis ice rain and Caingorm death blocks.
-10 if helmet has cool stickers that are all scratched to shit.
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