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tallgirl


Aug 26, 2011, 12:24 PM
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Feeling different
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Hey All. Just a reality check. I have climbed with a lot of different partners, both men and women, and I find that when I am climbing with males, I feel more anxiety about my climbing abilities both mentally and physically than I do when I am climbing with females. Consequently, my performance tends to suffer...it isn't a huge deal but I wondered if anyone out there has experienced this as well? And also, for all the guys who come here, is the inverse true?


granite_grrl


Aug 26, 2011, 1:45 PM
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Re: [tallgirl] Feeling different [In reply to]
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tallgirl wrote:
Hey All. Just a reality check. I have climbed with a lot of different partners, both men and women, and I find that when I am climbing with males, I feel more anxiety about my climbing abilities both mentally and physically than I do when I am climbing with females. Consequently, my performance tends to suffer...it isn't a huge deal but I wondered if anyone out there has experienced this as well? And also, for all the guys who come here, is the inverse true?
This is curious, and while I do enjoy climbing with motivated women when I get the chance, I don't get this anxiety.

I feel that either you're putting undo stress upon yourself or the guys you climb with are arrogant jerks?

I'm leaning towards the latter here. What are your climbing abilities compared to the guys that you're going out with? How does it compare to the ladies? I have also found that a lot of ladies kinda shy away from thuggish routes that a lot of guys enjoy (especially with your guys or those newer to climbing), could there be a struggle with route selection?

Whatever it is, I hope you figure it out. I tend to find very few ladies that I like to climb with (even though I love it when I find one who meshes with my climbing style) and I'd be lost without my male climbing partners.


erisspirit


Aug 26, 2011, 3:16 PM
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Re: Feeling different [In reply to]
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Yeah, I can't say I get anxiety climbing with men either. While I have a few awesome female friends, the majority of my climbing buddies are men.

Hopefully you can figure out what is making you anxious, and fix it so you can just enjoy the climbing.

good luck!


Kartessa


Aug 26, 2011, 8:52 PM
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Like the other girls, I dont get the anxiety of climbing with guys, but there are some out there that I'd just rather not be out with.

... something about being called "pussy" every time I try something that's not at his standard.


clee03m


Aug 26, 2011, 9:44 PM
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Re: [Kartessa] Feeling different [In reply to]
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Many of my climbing partners are men, and I have not noticed any difference in how I feel. I wonder why you feel this way. Is it possible that the egotistical approach to climbing is somehow rubbing off on you? I have met a lot of men and some women who tie their ego very closely with their climbing abilities and how their abilities relate to others. When I have climbed with these kind of men, they had especially a hard time when I would climb harder than them because they could not handle being out climbed by a girl. Instead of climbing partners who celebrates your achievement, they get angry. I had one guy actually try to stop me from leading a route because he didn't want me leading as hard as him. 2 weeks in Yosemite with this guy who got angry at me for out climbing him and belittled our other partner for not being as efficient of a leader as he was, I had just about had it. Needless to say, we have not climbed together since. I would joke that if he was the last climber on earth, I would get a silent partner.

May be try to find some normal male partners and see if you still feel anxious? Rock Warrior's Way helps a lot with filtering out the noises in your head. May be read this book and do some soul searching? Let us know when you figure it out.


Partner happiegrrrl


Aug 27, 2011, 8:10 AM
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Re: [clee03m] Feeling different [In reply to]
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Tallgirl - Perhaps you are very strong in your own power and sense what guys sometimes do when climbing with other guys.. competition!?

I do sometimes see that if I am out climbing with some guys and things are fine, if another guy shows up....things change. Perhaps my partner was getting ready to do a lead that he felt he might not style so easily - the other male shows up and suddenly I see he is more defensive; the heat is on.

So - maybe you are getting some of that sort of sensation. I don't know how to explain it better without getting some backlash from it. Happy to PM to discuss if you want.

I tend to be more nervous with female partners, to be honest. Usually it is because they are at my level or less, and that makes me feel responsible for leading the day. I know I am pretty good at not getting on over my head, and can probably extricate myself from pretty much whatever I get into, but not so sure about the other person, unless they are more experienced than I(with self-rescue, as an example).

With guys, I don't tend to climb with ones who are new, so usually they have the systems dialed from years of effort. So, I feel comfortable I won't find myself belaying them on some run out with them ending up having to bail and not knowing how.


smallclimber


Aug 27, 2011, 2:48 PM
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I actually feel the other way. I mostly climb only with my husband, but on the limited occasisions we meet up with people I feel more under pressure to perform if the group contains other women. I guess indirectly I feel I am competing with the other women (both with respect to climbing and other attributes) in the group whereas I am not expected to compete with men in the same way. This actually extends to other sports, work and social settings as well and probably makes me one of those "catty catwomen" Enigma was referring to in one of her recent threads! I try hard not to let it show.


lena_chita
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Aug 28, 2011, 7:51 PM
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Like others have said, I have not noticed a difference that runs along the gender lines.

I climb mostly with men, and with a few women.

But I do notice that how well I climb often depends on the "mood" that i pick up from my partners. I climb best when my partners of either gender are psyched to climb and to be at the crag. Doesn't matter if they are working on their project, while I work on mine, or whether we are both climbing the same routes, or my partner has a "rest day" and is only there for me as a belayer. As long as I feel that they are excited to be there, whether for themselves or for me, I feel the same and that makes me climb my best.

But if my partner is having a bad day and is being grumpy, even if he is saying stuff like:"Oh, it's O.K., you just do your own thing, I don't feel like climbing, I'll belay you", all of a sudden my enthusiasm goes down, and I am ready to call it a day after climbing a few easy routes, forget about trying hard.


Gmburns2000


Sep 5, 2011, 11:02 AM
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Re: [tallgirl] Feeling different [In reply to]
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From a guy's perspective, my partners the past few years have been men and women in equal numbers. I haven't felt any anxiety from any of my regular partners. Of course, if she's cute then I try to climb harder, but I'm no stud so people tend to see through that pretty damn quickly. If I ever feel any anxiety at all then it's with folks who climb harder than me and they expect me to keep up, and that's regardless of gender.


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