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Screening test for n00bs
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granite_grrl


Oct 22, 2009, 9:43 AM
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Re: [qwert] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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qwert wrote:
Risk factor 5: Quick draws
Anything other than Petzl: 5 points

Dogbones too skinny to grab: 10 points

About half of my quickdraws are the skinny ones, but i actually think they are quite good to grab. how about 5 points for that?
The only thing worse than carrying skinny draws that suck to grab is going around telling people that you actually think they are quite good to grab.

Are you climbing slab or something?


qwert


Oct 22, 2009, 12:07 PM
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Re: [granite_grrl] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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granite_grrl wrote:
qwert wrote:
Risk factor 5: Quick draws
Anything other than Petzl: 5 points

Dogbones too skinny to grab: 10 points

About half of my quickdraws are the skinny ones, but i actually think they are quite good to grab. how about 5 points for that?
The only thing worse than carrying skinny draws that suck to grab is going around telling people that you actually think they are quite good to grab.

Are you climbing slab or something?
Actually i do enjoy slab climbing the most, but im not grabbing draws on slabs. Unlike ooverhanging crap, slabs can be done with technique and not just stupid power.

qwert


(This post was edited by qwert on Oct 23, 2009, 6:12 AM)


kriso9tails


Oct 22, 2009, 4:54 PM
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Re: [qwert] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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qwert wrote:
Actually i do enjoy slab climbing the most, but im not grabbing draws on slabs. Unlike ooverhanging crap slabs can be done with technique and not just stupid power.

qwert

Overhanging crap slabs? Sounds kind of gross.


jt512


Oct 22, 2009, 10:11 PM
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Re: [dolphja] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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I tried this test out on myself: 10 points

And afterward, for some reason, my butt really hurt: 100 points.

Jay


(This post was edited by jt512 on Oct 22, 2009, 10:11 PM)


billcoe_


Oct 22, 2009, 10:23 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
I tried this test out on myself: 10 points And afterward, for some reason, my butt really hurt: 100 points. Jay

Was Angry giving you the test?


qwert


Oct 23, 2009, 6:16 AM
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kriso9tails wrote:
qwert wrote:
Actually i do enjoy slab climbing the most, but im not grabbing draws on slabs. Unlike ooverhanging crap slabs can be done with technique and not just stupid power.

qwert

Overhanging crap slabs? Sounds kind of gross.
Oh yes it is!
does a , make it better?

qwert


granite_grrl


Oct 23, 2009, 6:41 AM
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Re: [qwert] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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qwert wrote:
granite_grrl wrote:
qwert wrote:
Risk factor 5: Quick draws
Anything other than Petzl: 5 points

Dogbones too skinny to grab: 10 points

About half of my quickdraws are the skinny ones, but i actually think they are quite good to grab. how about 5 points for that?
The only thing worse than carrying skinny draws that suck to grab is going around telling people that you actually think they are quite good to grab.

Are you climbing slab or something?
Actually i do enjoy slab climbing the most, but im not grabbing draws on slabs. Unlike ooverhanging crap, slabs can be done with technique and not just stupid power.

qwert
Now you're just making excuses for yourself.


swoopee


Oct 24, 2009, 9:57 AM
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Re: [dolphja] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Apparently I am in the run away category. Unsure


hafilax


Oct 26, 2009, 1:51 PM
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Re: [swoopee] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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swoopee wrote:
Apparently I am in the run away category. Unsure
In that case could you put up a clearer profile picture.


swoopee


Oct 26, 2009, 4:09 PM
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I am sure you'll recognize me when I step out of the car and put my helmet on. Wink


tradmanclimbs


Oct 30, 2009, 8:01 PM
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Re: [swoopee] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Damn. Jay that is an awsome test. I scored 80 but that was only after I ditched the wire brush, pry bar, hand saw, etriers, jumar, bolt kit, hammer,pitons, hooks and drillCool


Seroiusly, with my normal rig I still got an 80Tongue Wondering if I really have to give myself 10 points for Mad Rock Flash... I mean they are slippers fer christ sake.. just because they are the wrong brand...


tradmanclimbs


Oct 30, 2009, 8:12 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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A few years ago I soloed RBF on a super nasty cold windy bulletproof day. I got in my VW buss with helmet and Crampons on and drove to chapple pond working that clutch, gas and mushy brakes with rambocomps while stareing through the one tiny clear spot on my frozen windshield. Pulled into the Chaple pond parking and step out with helmet, crampons and tools ready to go. Fight the wind accross the frozen pond and solo Chiounards.. Must have racked up some noob points with that stuntCool

Drank about 10 Adirondak pale ales on the way back to VT on that trip....


scm007


Nov 16, 2009, 5:43 PM
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Re: [tradmanclimbs] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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22.

Why the bias against the Cinch?


jt512


Nov 16, 2009, 6:28 PM
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Re: [scm007] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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scm007 wrote:
22.

Why the bias against the Cinch?

I have no bias against the Cinch. Why the bias toward interpreting empirical observations as value judgments.

Jay


scm007


Nov 16, 2009, 6:54 PM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
scm007 wrote:
22.

Why the bias against the Cinch?

I have no bias against the Cinch. Why the bias toward interpreting empirical observations as value judgments.

Jay

Ahh ok if the evidence points that way! I thought somehow you were just ranting against shit you didn't like. I use a cinch and I struggle on .11s, so your evidence is sound... so far :) .

Also, helmets with your name on the front +50,000


(This post was edited by scm007 on Nov 16, 2009, 6:56 PM)


ClimbTheCrag


Dec 24, 2009, 9:39 PM
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haha, I must have read the begining backwards cause i though you were saying petzl was bad and REI was good so I was like "what the heck?"
In reply to:


ClimbTheCrag


Dec 24, 2009, 9:46 PM
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Sweet -3 :D


rossross


Nov 23, 2011, 12:57 PM
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10 points

Arcteryx harness, old school vapor, getting a little fuzzy. I think a fuzzy "skinner" harness should be worth +100 points personally lol.

Non Petzl draws. Also I think old beat up draws (still solid) should be 0 points. New spirits with minimal scratches should be +20.


tH1e-swiN1e


Nov 25, 2011, 9:05 AM
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2 year revive..........WOW


tscampbell


Nov 25, 2011, 4:02 PM
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gonna have to say my 20 yr old gypsy rope bag (bomb proof) doesn't add any points....


jt512


Nov 25, 2011, 6:19 PM
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Re: [tH1e-swiN1e] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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tH1e-swiN1e wrote:
2 year revive..........WOW

Yeah, who would have thought it would have taken this long?

Jay


JimTitt


Nov 26, 2011, 4:07 AM
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Took a while for the paint to dry on my Grigri.


Partner rgold


Nov 27, 2011, 9:38 PM
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Re: [JimTitt] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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Well, I don't really sport climb much and don't have any dedicated sport climbing gear. So, my Noob index is 132 (*), making me one of the last people you should accept a belay from. At 132 sprinting may not be required, but a purposeful jog in the opposite direction is surely called for. However, see note below.

(*) Most of my gear is marked with red tape. If I had counted that in the scoring, my index would have been astronomical, and mere running away would probably not save you from the billowing cloud of noobish contamination surrounding me.


JimTitt


Nov 27, 2011, 11:10 PM
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I got 20 but I climb like a beginner!

Though there must be bonus points for the rain of bolts, drill bits, spare batteries and stuff that always appears I tip my sack out.


guangzhou


Nov 29, 2011, 2:59 AM
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Re: [jt512] Screening test for n00bs [In reply to]
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You're at the sport crag waiting for your partner to arrive, an unkown climber walks up to you, and asks, "Hey, you want a belay?" You're on the spot. You'd like to get a warm-up burn in, but you don't want to end up on the wrong end of some hapless gymbie's rope. If you hesitate before answering, you risk offense. You must be definitive. It's either got to be, "Sure, that would be great," or "No thanks. I'm still a little hungover." You need a way to size up your potential partner that is systematic, fast, and accurate. In short, you need a

Screening Test for N00bs

Through years of keen observation, I have identified 10 key risk factors for n00bs. Give the climber the number of points indicated for each risk factor. Then sum the points to arrive at the climber's n00b risk score.

Risk factor 1: Helmet
Climber has a helmet at the crag: 2 points
Climber is wearing a helmet belaying: 10 points
Climber wore a helmet on the approach: 25 points
Climber got out of car wearing helmet: 100 points
Every-time or just from time to time?

In reply to:
Risk factor 2: Climbing shoes
Climber's shoes, if not slippers, are made from natural leather: 10 points*
Climber's shoes are made by Mad Rock: 10 points
*Exception 1: Climber's shoes are Firés: -50 points
*Exception 2: Climber's shoes are EBs: -100 points

Love my fire, but also love my 5.10 red slippers. Rad Mock by Climb X is great too.

In reply to:
Risk factor 3: Harness
Any modern harness not made by Petzl: 5 points

Ouch, I have never liked a single Petzl Harness. Especially the gear loop layout.

In reply to:
Risk factor 4: Belay device(s)
Give the climber 10^n points, where n is the number of belay devices on the climber's harness in excess of one.
In addition:
Does not have a grigri: 10 points
Has a Cinch: 10 points
Has a device whose brand name is "ATC" followed by something: 10 points

Always two devices, oh well. (Often one of them is a gri-gri)

In reply to:
Risk factor 5: Quick draws
Anything other than Petzl: 5 points
Dogbones too skinny to grab: 10 points
Petzl logo on dogbones: -50 points

Skinny draws with wire-gates here. Even my runners are skinny with wire-gates.

In reply to:
Risk factor 6: Rope bag
Non-Metolius: 5 points
None: 20 points

In reply to:
Risk factor 7: Stick clip
None: 10 points
Rarely use it

In reply to:
Risk factor 8: Unnecessary equipment
10^n points, where n is the number of items girth hitched to the climber's harness
10 points for each locking carabiner on the climber's harness not clipped to a belay device
50 points for each quick link on the climber's harness

Can you define unnecessary?

In reply to:
Risk factor 9: REI
1 point for each appearance of the REI logo on the climber's gear
20 points for each appearance of an REI price tag on the climber's gear
100 points for an REI shopping bag containing the climber's gear
Tongue

In reply to:
Risk factor 10: The color red
1 point for each red item among the climber's gear, unless the gear is unscratched; then, 10 points.
Red grigri: 15 points

I think all my gear is currently marked with red nail-polish.

In reply to:
Scoring:
100 or more: Run away.
50–99 points: High n00b probability. Climb with at your own risk.
25–49 points: Possibly a n00b or a visiting trad climber.
0–24 points: Probably an experienced sport climber.
Less than 0: The climber probably knows more about climbing than you do.

Pirate

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