Forums: Community: Campground:
Do Men Naturally Want Kids?
RSS FeedRSS Feeds for Campground

Premier Sponsor:

 

Poll: Do Men Naturally Want Kids?
Men naturally want, or at a certain age come to want, to have kids. 3 / 15%
Men do not naturally want kids, but society influences them to become fathers. 2 / 10%
Men may sometimes naturally want kids, but more often women want to have children and men acquiesce. 8 / 40%
I disagree with making a poll about "men" as a genus and think you can only talk about individual cases. 7 / 35%
Other (please explain). 0 / 0%
20 total votes
 

SylviaSmile


Dec 22, 2011, 9:47 AM
Post #1 of 24 (1371 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Oct 3, 2011
Posts: 982

Do Men Naturally Want Kids?
Report this Post
Can't Post

Ok, so "men" here is used as most human beings of the masculine variety--men, in general. I was arguing about this with a girl friend: I took the position of Option 1 and she was somewhere in between Option 2 and Option 3. Thought I'd ask on here, since there are a lot of actual guys with first-hand experiences!


olderic


Dec 22, 2011, 9:59 AM
Post #2 of 24 (1364 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Oct 17, 2003
Posts: 1532

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

There is a fair bit of overlap in your choices - they certainly aren't mutually exclusive. I think both 1 and 3 are true for the majority.


SylviaSmile


Dec 22, 2011, 10:00 AM
Post #3 of 24 (1360 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Oct 3, 2011
Posts: 982

Re: [olderic] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

olderic wrote:
There is a fair bit of overlap in your choices - they certainly aren't mutually exclusive. I think both 1 and 3 are true for the majority.

I know, I wish I could do one of those checkbox-y polls . . .


olderic


Dec 22, 2011, 10:13 AM
Post #4 of 24 (1356 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Oct 17, 2003
Posts: 1532

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

Well it should generate some discussion. I expect a couple of tangents:
1. Sort of obvious - how important is it in choosing a mate that they have the same desire? How many cases of choice 3 are planned for and expected ahead of time. Cynical viewpoint I guess. And obviously the gender roles could be reversed and sometimes are.
2. How many kids "just happen" - not a result of trying/trying not to like crazy?


lena_chita
Moderator

Dec 22, 2011, 11:11 AM
Post #5 of 24 (1342 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Jun 27, 2006
Posts: 5460

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

So is this a poll asking people (regardless of the gender) to express their opinion on what they think is the majority/prevalent behavior among males, or is this a question for men only?

Wink

You sure are obsessed with sex and procreation, or at least you come across that way.

And as to the answer, I've seen all kinds of men, and I don't think I can make an accurate guess about the majority, but I think the societal expectations/upbringing play a major role.

I don't think there is anything "biological" that makes men programmed to want kids.


SylviaSmile


Dec 22, 2011, 12:02 PM
Post #6 of 24 (1327 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Oct 3, 2011
Posts: 982

Re: [lena_chita] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

The poll is for everyone. I like to get lots of different people's opinions and get people talking, regardless of tangents.


SylviaSmile


Dec 22, 2011, 12:07 PM
Post #7 of 24 (1324 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Oct 3, 2011
Posts: 982

Re: [lena_chita] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

lena_chita wrote:
You sure are obsessed with sex and procreation, or at least you come across that way.

Well, I'm not particularly interested in politics or economics, so perhaps that limits the number of topics I participate in on here. I'm also interested in things like climbing and food, though! Wink


Partner happiegrrrl


Dec 22, 2011, 12:32 PM
Post #8 of 24 (1312 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Mar 25, 2004
Posts: 4609

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

SylviaSmile wrote:
Well, I'm not particularly interested in politics or economics, so perhaps that limits the number of topics I participate in on here. I'm also interested in things like climbing and food, though! Wink


So - maybe the poll should be:

Would men prefer to have
- children
- a ham sandwich
- sex
- ability to climb harder than Alex Honnald



hahahaha

I think the children thing is something that obviously cannot be generalized, just like it cannot be for women.


olderic


Dec 22, 2011, 1:02 PM
Post #9 of 24 (1308 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Oct 17, 2003
Posts: 1532

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

SylviaSmile wrote:
lena_chita wrote:
You sure are obsessed with sex and procreation, or at least you come across that way.

Well, I'm not particularly interested in politics or economics, so perhaps that limits the number of topics I participate in on here. I'm also interested in things like climbing and food, though! Wink
Sex, climbing, food.. if you add beer you pretty much have the basic requirements covered Smile


notapplicable


Dec 22, 2011, 2:41 PM
Post #10 of 24 (1297 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Aug 31, 2006
Posts: 17752

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

I voted 3 because I think it's the most true for everyone, not just men. I know plenty of men and women who want children or even feel they "need" them to be happy/complete. I also know some who are somewhat ambivalent and a few who don't want them at all.

It does often seem though that women are more compelled to have children than men. I wonder sometimes what that must "feel" like. Is it similar to the urge to mate in it's manifestation? The desire to host a parasite in your body for nearly a year and then raise the strangely animated little creature afterwards is something of an odd compulsion, to say the least.


notapplicable


Dec 22, 2011, 3:11 PM
Post #11 of 24 (1289 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Aug 31, 2006
Posts: 17752

Re: [lena_chita] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

lena_chita wrote:
You sure are obsessed with sex and procreation, or at least you come across that way.

Well, sex and sexuality has a pretty significant influence on human interactions. I would argue that it should not but one look at the world around me shows it's influence to be both substantial and pervasive. I would also say there are a good number of people who like it that way.


Gmburns2000


Dec 22, 2011, 3:16 PM
Post #12 of 24 (1286 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Mar 6, 2007
Posts: 15013

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

SylviaSmile wrote:
Ok, so "men" here is used as most human beings of the masculine variety--men, in general. I was arguing about this with a girl friend: I took the position of Option 1 and she was somewhere in between Option 2 and Option 3. Thought I'd ask on here, since there are a lot of actual guys with first-hand experiences!

I think it depends. I chose #1 because that's what I want. My ex-wife wasn't sure about kids and ultimately decided she didn't want them. My current girlfriend has a 20-year old son, but isn't against having more kids, even though she never had any others. In my time, I've met just as many women who wanted kids as I've met who didn't, which makes me think that men probably have the same tendencies.

I'm sure culture plays a HUGE part in influencing both men and women, but I think there must be some intrinsic desire amongst both men and women (broadly speaking, of course) because without procreation we would cease to exist as a species.


SylviaSmile


Dec 22, 2011, 3:21 PM
Post #13 of 24 (1280 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Oct 3, 2011
Posts: 982

Re: [notapplicable] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

notapplicable wrote:
I voted 3 because I think it's the most true for everyone, not just men. I know plenty of men and women who want children or even feel they "need" them to be happy/complete. I also know some who are somewhat ambivalent and a few who don't want them at all.

It does often seem though that women are more compelled to have children than men. I wonder sometimes what that must "feel" like. Is it similar to the urge to mate in it's manifestation? The desire to host a parasite in your body for nearly a year and then raise the strangely animated little creature afterwards is something of an odd compulsion, to say the least.

Super interesting response! I can't really speak to the desire to have children, because sometimes I feel I would like to have them but at other times I don't feel I "need them to be happy/complete" like you say . . . but in any case, it sounds a bit awkward to refer to gestation as "hosting a parasite"--the baby will be the same species as you! Plus, we were all a "parasite" once, right? :)


notapplicable


Dec 22, 2011, 4:09 PM
Post #14 of 24 (1274 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Aug 31, 2006
Posts: 17752

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

SylviaSmile wrote:
notapplicable wrote:
I voted 3 because I think it's the most true for everyone, not just men. I know plenty of men and women who want children or even feel they "need" them to be happy/complete. I also know some who are somewhat ambivalent and a few who don't want them at all.

It does often seem though that women are more compelled to have children than men. I wonder sometimes what that must "feel" like. Is it similar to the urge to mate in it's manifestation? The desire to host a parasite in your body for nearly a year and then raise the strangely animated little creature afterwards is something of an odd compulsion, to say the least.

Super interesting response! I can't really speak to the desire to have children, because sometimes I feel I would like to have them but at other times I don't feel I "need them to be happy/complete" like you say . . . but in any case, it sounds a bit awkward to refer to gestation as "hosting a parasite"--the baby will be the same species as you! Plus, we were all a "parasite" once, right? :)

People say the same thing when I tell them small children creep me out but it's no consolation. I'm 100% confident that I was super creepy back then too; moving and speaking with the strange incongruity of one lacking higher order cognitive functions.


(This post was edited by notapplicable on Dec 22, 2011, 4:11 PM)


dan2see


Dec 22, 2011, 10:29 PM
Post #15 of 24 (1253 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Mar 28, 2006
Posts: 1497

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

Children are fun. They're cool to have around the house. They provide drama, adventure, and laughs.

Except teen-agers. All you can do with your teens is ignore them until they get a job.

On the other hand, now that our kids are grown and gone, our home is a lot more comfortable, and I like it. But they still provide drama, adventure, and laughs.


lena_chita
Moderator

Dec 23, 2011, 1:50 PM
Post #16 of 24 (1223 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Jun 27, 2006
Posts: 5460

Re: [dan2see] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

dan2see wrote:
Children are fun. They're cool to have around the house. They provide drama, adventure, and laughs.

While it is true, and we had no shortage of drama, adventure and laughs, I admit that more than once, when the kids were little, I had found myself wondering: how is it possible that I love my kids so much, yet the part of the day I enjoy most comes when they are finally asleep? :)

dan2see wrote:
Except teen-agers. All you can do with your teens is ignore them until they get a job.

This, now, I have to disagree with. I have the coolest teenager in the house, and he is WAY more fun as a teenager than he was as a toddler.

When the 2-X-chromosomes kid becomes a teenager, though... Yeah, I'll report back on that later, if I survive.


onceahardman


Dec 23, 2011, 2:46 PM
Post #17 of 24 (1214 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Aug 3, 2007
Posts: 2459

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

Thought-provoking poll. Thanks.

Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Vertebrata
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates

Viewed biologically, many mammals have a system in which relatively few males actually get to reproduce. Only the dominant male reproduces, often with several to many females. But the subordinate males still try, and sometimes succeed, in stealing a receptive female from the dominant male. They seem to "naturally want" to have kids. (Or at least, to have sex).

In Primates, there is a lot of variety. There are some reproducing pairs, and some in which a dominant male keeps a "harem" of reproducing females.

In humans, (the only primates which inhabit every continent), we have tremendous variety, and furthermore, it has changed over time. Present western civilization kind of emphasizes one man to one woman (purely speaking about biologically reproducing couples here, I'm not "gay-bashing" in the least). There may still be primitive cultures (or areas in Appalachia) where this is not the case.

Anyway, I had to object to the use of male.

I never wanted, nor expected to have kids. Second marriage, met the most wonderful woman in the world. Now I have three kids, and my life has never been richer. Did I naturally want kids? Probably not. Until I had one.

If I had started at a younger age, I would have had a dozen. But I didn't always feel that way.


Partner j_ung


Dec 24, 2011, 8:55 AM
Post #18 of 24 (1177 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Nov 21, 2003
Posts: 18687

Re: [onceahardman] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

I didn't want kids, but acquiesced. Now that I have a one-month-old baby, I love him, and I'm not giving him up. However, I still sometimes wonder if I made the right choice, especially when I'm tired or can't figure out why he's crying or my wife is at her own wit's end. And then I feel profoundly guilty. Between it all I stay awake for exceptionally long periods of time. It's extremely difficult.


onceahardman


Dec 24, 2011, 9:16 AM
Post #19 of 24 (1172 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Aug 3, 2007
Posts: 2459

Re: [j_ung] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

You know, prople always said, "enjoy them while they're young, they grow up too fast", but I remember the first six months being agonizingly slow.

Once they start to interact, it becomes more, "daddy time", but I think the first six months is largely "mommy time".


areyoumydude


Dec 24, 2011, 10:34 AM
Post #20 of 24 (1169 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Dec 27, 2003
Posts: 1971

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

I don't want kids but I sure like to practice.


chadnsc


Dec 24, 2011, 12:38 PM
Post #21 of 24 (1162 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Nov 24, 2003
Posts: 4449

Re: [happiegrrrl] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

happiegrrrl wrote:
SylviaSmile wrote:
Well, I'm not particularly interested in politics or economics, so perhaps that limits the number of topics I participate in on here. I'm also interested in things like climbing and food, though! Wink


So - maybe the poll should be:

Would men prefer to have
- children
- a ham sandwich
- sex
- ability to climb harder than Alex Honnald



hahahaha

I think the children thing is something that obviously cannot be generalized, just like it cannot be for women.

HAM SANDWICH!


pinktricam


Dec 30, 2011, 7:32 AM
Post #22 of 24 (1064 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Jan 8, 2003
Posts: 7947

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

As a younger man, yes...but now, at my age...well, Depends.


superchuffer


Jan 2, 2012, 7:22 AM
Post #23 of 24 (1030 views)
Shortcut

Registered: May 9, 2011
Posts: 294

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

men want to get laid and go climbing. getting laid regularly can lead to kids, but it isn't a direct correlation. having kids adversely affects climbing logistically and financially... and your homies make fun of you for wearing the offspring on your chest like you are a hermaphrodite alien life form.


hyhuu


Jan 3, 2012, 10:42 AM
Post #24 of 24 (1008 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Jul 25, 2001
Posts: 491

Re: [SylviaSmile] Do Men Naturally Want Kids? [In reply to]
Report this Post
Can't Post

Thinking back, I can't point to a particular time or period that I told myself "I want kid(s)" but I always knew that I'll eventually become a father. The funny thing is that I really didnt know what to expect but once the baby came, I can't imagine life without kid(s) and wish that I should have done it sooner than later. Whether men natually want kids or not, every guys I know instantly became so excited once the wife got pregnant.


Forums : Community : Campground

 


Search for (options)

Log In:

Username:
Password: Remember me:

Go Register
Go Lost Password?



Follow us on Twiter Become a Fan on Facebook