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dr_feelgood


Feb 9, 2012, 3:08 PM
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From The Onion
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TEHRAN—Amidst mounting geopolitical tensions, Iranian officials said Wednesday they were increasingly concerned about the United States of America's uranium-enrichment program, fearing the Western nation may soon be capable of producing its 8,500th nuclear weapon. "Our intelligence estimates indicate that, if it is allowed to progress with its aggressive nuclear program, the United States may soon possess its 8,500th atomic weapon capable of reaching Iran," said Iranian foreign minister Ali Akbar Salehi, adding that Americans have the fuel, the facilities, and "everything they need" to manufacture even more weapons-grade fissile material. "Obviously, the prospect of this happening is very distressing to Iran and all countries like Iran. After all, the United States is a volatile nation that's proven it needs little provocation to attack anyone anywhere in the world whom it perceives to be a threat." Iranian intelligence experts also warned of the very real, and very frightening, possibility of the U.S. providing weapons and resources to a rogue third-party state such as Israel.

http://www.theonion.com/...0th-nuclear-w,27325/


veganclimber


Feb 9, 2012, 8:48 PM
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Re: [dr_feelgood] From The Onion [In reply to]
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Sadly, this is not from the Onion:

http://news.yahoo.com/...nZQR0ZXN0Aw--;_ylv=3

In reply to:
Nearly half of Americans now say they would bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities to stop its uranium enrichment in order to halt its advances toward an ability to build a nuclear weapon – even as President Obama touts diplomacy as still the best means of addressing the Iranian nuclear issue.


jt512


Feb 10, 2012, 12:19 AM
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Re: [veganclimber] From The Onion [In reply to]
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veganclimber wrote:
Sadly, this is not from the Onion:

http://news.yahoo.com/...nZQR0ZXN0Aw--;_ylv=3

In reply to:
Nearly half of Americans now say they would bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities to stop its uranium enrichment in order to halt its advances toward an ability to build a nuclear weapon – even as President Obama touts diplomacy as still the best means of addressing the Iranian nuclear issue.

What's sad, that it's less than half?

Jay


veganclimber


Feb 10, 2012, 12:56 AM
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Re: [jt512] From The Onion [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
veganclimber wrote:
Sadly, this is not from the Onion:

http://news.yahoo.com/...nZQR0ZXN0Aw--;_ylv=3

In reply to:
Nearly half of Americans now say they would bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities to stop its uranium enrichment in order to halt its advances toward an ability to build a nuclear weapon – even as President Obama touts diplomacy as still the best means of addressing the Iranian nuclear issue.

What's sad, that it's less than half?

Jay

We have been at war for the last 10 years. We are now broke. We have spent trillions of dollars bombing, and then rebuilding other countries, while our own is falling apart. The last thing we need right now is another war.


guangzhou


Feb 10, 2012, 2:54 AM
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Re: [jt512] From The Onion [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
veganclimber wrote:
Sadly, this is not from the Onion:

http://news.yahoo.com/...nZQR0ZXN0Aw--;_ylv=3

In reply to:
Nearly half of Americans now say they would bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities to stop its uranium enrichment in order to halt its advances toward an ability to build a nuclear weapon – even as President Obama touts diplomacy as still the best means of addressing the Iranian nuclear issue.

What's sad, that it's less than half?

Jay

Marked my calendar, I agree with Jay.

Eman


guangzhou


Feb 10, 2012, 3:00 AM
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Re: [veganclimber] From The Onion [In reply to]
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veganclimber wrote:
jt512 wrote:
veganclimber wrote:
Sadly, this is not from the Onion:

http://news.yahoo.com/...nZQR0ZXN0Aw--;_ylv=3

In reply to:
Nearly half of Americans now say they would bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities to stop its uranium enrichment in order to halt its advances toward an ability to build a nuclear weapon – even as President Obama touts diplomacy as still the best means of addressing the Iranian nuclear issue.

What's sad, that it's less than half?

Jay

We have been at war for the last 10 years. We are now broke. We have spent trillions of dollars bombing, and then rebuilding other countries, while our own is falling apart. The last thing we need right now is another war.

America broke, I don't completely agree. A recession around the world, I can agree with, but America is still very much economically sound.

The bad economy isn't because of the war. Don't believe me, take a look at how many other countries around the world are in a slump currently. How of them have been in this war?

An economic slump happen every decade or so. Don't tell me this is the worst one since the @#$%^&, I don't buy into it, nor do half the studies you're not going to quote or share a link to.


petsfed


Feb 10, 2012, 1:01 PM
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Re: [guangzhou] From The Onion [In reply to]
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How about "we can no longer buy as many bombs on credit as we could 10 years ago"? And until such time as the deficit is significantly reduced, we will remain unable to buy as many bombs on credit as would be necessary to maintain a siege with Iran.


dr_feelgood


Feb 10, 2012, 1:12 PM
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Re: [petsfed] From The Onion [In reply to]
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petsfed wrote:
How about "we can no longer buy as many bombs on credit as we could 10 years ago"? And until such time as the deficit is significantly reduced, we will remain unable to buy as many bombs on credit as would be necessary to maintain a siege with Iran.
AA+!


petsfed


Feb 10, 2012, 1:24 PM
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Re: [dr_feelgood] From The Onion [In reply to]
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My new favorite Onion article:

Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Department Of Interior


scrapedape


Feb 10, 2012, 1:48 PM
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Re: [petsfed] From The Onion [In reply to]
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And, in the "stranger than fiction" category, I'll see your report and raise you one Oklahoma Senate amendment:

Senator says life begins at ejaculation


petsfed


Feb 10, 2012, 2:09 PM
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Re: [scrapedape] From The Onion [In reply to]
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Except that it was meant as a joke.

But you know, if a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.


notapplicable


Feb 10, 2012, 7:08 PM
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Re: [petsfed] From The Onion [In reply to]
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petsfed wrote:
How about "we can no longer buy as many bombs on credit as we could 10 years ago"? And until such time as the deficit is significantly reduced, we will remain unable to buy as many bombs on credit as would be necessary to maintain a siege with Iran.

I'm sure Israel will be more than happy to front us.


guangzhou


Feb 10, 2012, 8:12 PM
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Re: [dr_feelgood] From The Onion [In reply to]
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dr_feelgood wrote:
petsfed wrote:
How about "we can no longer buy as many bombs on credit as we could 10 years ago"? And until such time as the deficit is significantly reduced, we will remain unable to buy as many bombs on credit as would be necessary to maintain a siege with Iran.
AA+!

The American credit is still perfectly good, especially now.


veganclimber


Feb 10, 2012, 9:28 PM
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Re: [guangzhou] From The Onion [In reply to]
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guangzhou wrote:
dr_feelgood wrote:
petsfed wrote:
How about "we can no longer buy as many bombs on credit as we could 10 years ago"? And until such time as the deficit is significantly reduced, we will remain unable to buy as many bombs on credit as would be necessary to maintain a siege with Iran.
AA+!

The American credit is still perfectly good, especially now.

It's true. We can still borrow plenty of money if we need to. What should we spend it on? Not this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...t-cuts_n_827993.html

In reply to:
Oakland, Calif., the fifth most dangerous U.S. city according to an analysis of recent FBI data, laid off nearly 10 percent of its police force last July. East St. Louis, Ill., just across the river from the nation's single most dangerous city by FBI data, laid off more than one-quarter of its police this January. Later that month, Camden, N.J., the country's second most dangerous city, laid off nearly half of its cops.

Newark, which ranks 23rd on the list of dangerous cities, laid off 13 percent of its force in December, and crime has since spiked. In the 11-week period since the layoffs, auto thefts are up 40 percent compared to the same period a year earlier, according to the city's data on reported crimes. Murders are up 73 percent. Carjackings have increased more than fourfold. The number of shooting victims has more than doubled.

Definitely not this:

http://www.heatingoil.com/...-cuts-announced-1108

In reply to:
The Obama administration has signalled it will cut the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP) this heating season by half to $2.5 billion.

But with average residential heating oil prices forecast to hit their highest ever levels this winter, there are fears for those homeowners on low or fixed incomes.

LIHEAP provides grants for home heating so people who are struggling to pay don’t have to go cold once temperatures dip. Volatile heating oil prices in recent years have seen the number of homeowners applying for the fuel aid program spike.

Let's not rebuild our roads and bridges. Let's let our senior citizens freeze during the winter because to save money. Let's lay of police in high-crime areas and watch crime rates skyrocket. Let's not bring our soldiers home and give them a break from the fighting. Instead, let's send them to another hell hole country to fight another endless war on borrowed money.


guangzhou


Feb 11, 2012, 2:55 AM
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Re: [veganclimber] From The Onion [In reply to]
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veganclimber wrote:
guangzhou wrote:
dr_feelgood wrote:
petsfed wrote:
How about "we can no longer buy as many bombs on credit as we could 10 years ago"? And until such time as the deficit is significantly reduced, we will remain unable to buy as many bombs on credit as would be necessary to maintain a siege with Iran.
AA+!

The American credit is still perfectly good, especially now.

It's true. We can still borrow plenty of money if we need to. What should we spend it on? Not this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...t-cuts_n_827993.html

In reply to:
Oakland, Calif., the fifth most dangerous U.S. city according to an analysis of recent FBI data, laid off nearly 10 percent of its police force last July. East St. Louis, Ill., just across the river from the nation's single most dangerous city by FBI data, laid off more than one-quarter of its police this January. Later that month, Camden, N.J., the country's second most dangerous city, laid off nearly half of its cops.

Newark, which ranks 23rd on the list of dangerous cities, laid off 13 percent of its force in December, and crime has since spiked. In the 11-week period since the layoffs, auto thefts are up 40 percent compared to the same period a year earlier, according to the city's data on reported crimes. Murders are up 73 percent. Carjackings have increased more than fourfold. The number of shooting victims has more than doubled.

Definitely not this:

http://www.heatingoil.com/...-cuts-announced-1108

In reply to:
The Obama administration has signalled it will cut the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP) this heating season by half to $2.5 billion.

But with average residential heating oil prices forecast to hit their highest ever levels this winter, there are fears for those homeowners on low or fixed incomes.

LIHEAP provides grants for home heating so people who are struggling to pay don’t have to go cold once temperatures dip. Volatile heating oil prices in recent years have seen the number of homeowners applying for the fuel aid program spike.

Let's not rebuild our roads and bridges. Let's let our senior citizens freeze during the winter because to save money. Let's lay of police in high-crime areas and watch crime rates skyrocket. Let's not bring our soldiers home and give them a break from the fighting. Instead, let's send them to another hell hole country to fight another endless war on borrowed money.

All good examples of the government not properly managing the budget to begin with. Again, what makes you think that having more money will mean they manage it any better.

America hasn't rebuilt it's deteriorating infrastructure for decades, somethings it's needed to do. Even when they was no war and money in the budget, the money was spent elsewhere.

Police budgets tend to come for state, county and other local taxes. They do get some funding from the Federal government, but the individual states handles those.

As a prior servicemen who spent most of the 5 years deployed, I'm probably the last person on this forum you need to remind about our soldier and another war.

With the exception of a strong National Defense, I tend to think the government should be done more at state level than Federal level. Yes, they are some things I believe the Feds should do, but in general, a state has abetter idea what it's people need than the Federal Government.

A flat tax at the Federal level and a progressive tax at the state level, that I might be aboard with.


camhead


Feb 11, 2012, 7:19 AM
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Re: [guangzhou] From The Onion [In reply to]
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Speaking of the Onion, this site is amazing. It shows the best examples of facebook users believing that Onion articles are real.

The big picture is that this is a perfect example of what happens when Web2.0 facebook users, who have no concept of internet culture, suddenly are exposed to older, Web1.0 jokes, and have no idea what to do other than respond with rage.

Also, note the disproportionate numbers of social conservatives that expose themselves as fuckwits.

http://literallyunbelievable.org/


Partner j_ung


Feb 11, 2012, 10:05 AM
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Re: [camhead] From The Onion [In reply to]
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camhead wrote:
Speaking of the Onion, this site is amazing. It shows the best examples of facebook users believing that Onion articles are real.

The big picture is that this is a perfect example of what happens when Web2.0 facebook users, who have no concept of internet culture, suddenly are exposed to older, Web1.0 jokes, and have no idea what to do other than respond with rage.

Also, note the disproportionate numbers of social conservatives that expose themselves as fuckwits.

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

OMG, thankyouthankyouthankyou for posting that. Still laughing!


jt512


Feb 11, 2012, 3:03 PM
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Re: [veganclimber] From The Onion [In reply to]
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veganclimber wrote:
jt512 wrote:
veganclimber wrote:
Sadly, this is not from the Onion:

http://news.yahoo.com/...nZQR0ZXN0Aw--;_ylv=3

In reply to:
Nearly half of Americans now say they would bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities to stop its uranium enrichment in order to halt its advances toward an ability to build a nuclear weapon – even as President Obama touts diplomacy as still the best means of addressing the Iranian nuclear issue.

What's sad, that it's less than half?

Jay

We have been at war for the last 10 years. We are now broke. We have spent trillions of dollars bombing, and then rebuilding other countries, while our own is falling apart. The last thing we need right now is another war.

The last thing we need is a nuclear armed Iran.

Jay


guangzhou


Feb 11, 2012, 5:57 PM
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Re: [jt512] From The Onion [In reply to]
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jt512 wrote:
veganclimber wrote:
jt512 wrote:
veganclimber wrote:
Sadly, this is not from the Onion:

http://news.yahoo.com/...nZQR0ZXN0Aw--;_ylv=3

In reply to:
Nearly half of Americans now say they would bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities to stop its uranium enrichment in order to halt its advances toward an ability to build a nuclear weapon – even as President Obama touts diplomacy as still the best means of addressing the Iranian nuclear issue.

What's sad, that it's less than half?

Jay

We have been at war for the last 10 years. We are now broke. We have spent trillions of dollars bombing, and then rebuilding other countries, while our own is falling apart. The last thing we need right now is another war.

The last thing we need is a nuclear armed Iran.

Jay

Once again, I very much agree with you Jay. A nuclear armed Iran would cost a lot more in the long run.


Partner j_ung


Feb 12, 2012, 6:16 AM
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jt512 wrote:

The last thing we need is a nuclear armed Iran.

Jay

You know, I agree with that wholeheartedly. Forgive me, however, if after watching our search for Iraq's "WMDs," I'm more than a little bit gun shy.


(This post was edited by j_ung on Feb 12, 2012, 6:17 AM)


dr_feelgood


Feb 14, 2012, 9:08 PM
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In reply to:
Welcome back! Wow, I almost didn't recognize you. How long has it been? It seems like forever since you left for Afghanistan. What a lucky guy, getting to take so many exotic trips halfway around the world with your best friends. Somebody's got a little travel bug, doesn't he? Sit down. I'm dying to hear all about it.

And promise you won't leave anything out—I want to hear every last detail!

So did you have a fantastic time over there? Over there in Afghanistan? You must have met so many interesting people. What's the weather like there? Probably a bit toasty, I'd imagine! From the looks of that amazing tan, I can tell you spent a lot of time soaking up the rays.

Wouldn't we all like to be in Afghanistan instead of cooped up inside all winter!

I'm kind of a dunce with geography, so bear with me here: Afghanistan's near Pakistan, right? What was the name of the part you were in? Kandahar? Maybe I'm naïve, but to my ears that just sounds so mysterious and alluring!

You, on the other hand, must be a seasoned traveler by now. Wasn't it just a few years ago that you were jetting off to Iraq all the time? You'd be there a year or so, come home for a few months, and then turn around and head right back. With the same group of guys, no less! I remember you kept extending your stay, again and again. There must be something magical about Middle Eastern culture that keeps drawing you there.

Gosh, you've spent so much time in that part of the world, your poor wife probably worried you'd never come back!

I noticed you were walking with a little limp when you came through the door—I hope that didn't happen on your trip! Going to the doctor when you're traveling is just the worst, isn't it? I wouldn't trust some rinky-dink clinic in Afghanistan to take my travel insurance. It was bad enough on my cruise to Ireland when I got so sick from the buffet I had to spend two days in the infirmary nibbling on crackers and sipping ginger ale!

That's no fun at all, I assure you. Nothing's worse than being laid up in bed while everyone else is having the time of their lives.

And what's all this I hear about you waking up in the middle of the night since you got back? That sounds just awful. You know what it probably is? It's probably that jet lag. When I got back from Ireland, I had the same exact problem. Have you tried melatonin? I don't what the time difference is in Afghanistan, but it might help you get back on a normal sleep schedule.

I shouldn't pry, though. Forget I asked! I want to hear about those mountains they have in Afghanistan. Because I love the mountains. You must have gotten to go hiking every day! I bet you really fell head over heels with the place, considering how long you stayed. Afghanistan must feel like a second home to you by now.

Would you ever consider buying property there?

By June I should have enough vacation days saved up for a big trip, and based on what I'm hearing, Afghanistan seems like a pretty unforgettable destination. Do you have any specific tips for the Afghanistan novice? If you go back again, I may just have to tag along! It's always more fun to see a place with someone who knows all the ins and outs. Did you and your travel pals learn any useful words or phrases?

Oh, speaking of which, that reminds me! Your friend Bill who went with you to Afghanistan—is he still over there? You guys left at the same time, so silly me, I thought you'd be coming back together, too. Last I heard from his family, they had just received this really neat folded American flag souvenir that they keep on their mantel.

Did you bring home any cool trinkets? With a trip as special as Afghanistan, I guess you probably have unique memories that will stay with you for the rest of your life, don't you? That's really, really neat.
http://www.theonion.com/...s-afghanistan,27375/

I get most of my humor from here.


guangzhou


Feb 14, 2012, 11:14 PM
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Re: [dr_feelgood] From The Onion [In reply to]
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America has a professional and all volunteer military. While deployments are no fun, dangerous, and hard, that is the job of a professional soldier.

Again, professional all volunteer military. Not drafted, not mandatory service, but a individual choice to join.


petsfed


Feb 15, 2012, 7:56 AM
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Re: [guangzhou] From The Onion [In reply to]
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Volunteers who, 10 years ago, thought that they'd be defending the country from legitimate threats while paying for college. Not invading countries incapable of threatening the US to avenge the honor of the President's father.

No matter what, our leaders have a responsibility to those serving to not put them in harm's way needlessly. I think at this point, we can't afford to put troops on the ground in Iran, and we probably can't afford a sustained bombing campaign either.


guangzhou


Feb 15, 2012, 5:57 PM
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Re: [petsfed] From The Onion [In reply to]
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petsfed wrote:
Volunteers who, 10 years ago, thought that they'd be defending the country from legitimate threats while paying for college. Not invading countries incapable of threatening the US to avenge the honor of the President's father.

Yes, all volunteers. As for joining to have the military pay for college, it's a nice benefit, a great recruitment tool, but it shouldn't be the only reason to join. People who sign up know the possibility of being deploy.

Actually, after September 11th, the military was turning away volunteers who wanted to go fight in the desert.

No soldier wants to go to war, but all soldiers know it's a possibility when they serve.


In reply to:
No matter what, our leaders have a responsibility to those serving to not put them in harm's way needlessly.

Agree, but I also think our leaders have much more information about what threats are out there and not than the general public. Even American Ex-pats living overseas are more aware of security threats than the general American public.

In reply to:
I think at this point, we can't afford to put troops on the ground in Iran, and we probably can't afford a sustained bombing campaign either.

I wonder if it would be cheaper to wait until they are capable of producing nuclear weapons. (Not just in money but in human life)

We can also talk about the business end and the market they have with enriched uranium at their disposal.

Again, I am sure the various intelligence agencies, including those of China, Europe, and other countries have much more info than the average American typing on this forum.


petsfed


Feb 15, 2012, 8:12 PM
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Re: [guangzhou] From The Onion [In reply to]
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guangzhou wrote:
Again, I am sure the various intelligence agencies, including those of China, Europe, and other countries have much more info than the average American typing on this forum.

Almost certainly. I'm just pretty cynical about any call to war, after the lies that got us into Iraq.

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