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Colorado RMNP... aka Elevenmile #2
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shorty


Jun 16, 2003, 8:07 AM
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Colorado RMNP... aka Elevenmile #2
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For starters the snow is doo-doo at altitude, the summer monsoon is a bit early this year (making alpine climbing a little dicey), climbers are bailing right and left, and we finally settle on Elevenmile Canyon for the weekend. But wait, there's more! Skibby, where are you? Hello, we're here for YOUR event.

So Skibs bails, too, using the excuse of car problems (yeah, yeah). There we were, short of tent, chilli, and beer. Do you realize how hard it is to climb while you're exposed to the elements, malnourished, thirsty, and sober? Not a pretty sight. Luckily we found remnants of some partially eaten Powerbars in the depths of Geo's pack and we barely survived the weekend. :lol:

But seriously, it was a good weekend, even if the turnout was a little (ahem) small. Maybe Elevenmile Canyon has some bad karma thing going for trip organizers.

My schedule's a little busy this morning, so I'll let the rest of the troops continue with the sordid details of the challenges, triumphs, and campfire stories.


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Jun 16, 2003, 9:58 AM
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well, i had a blast. let's see, some highlights ...

laura: i loved your monster cookies (wasn't that line once used in a porno?). my daddy used to tell me never to eat anything bigger that my head, but i finally had to make an exception.

josh (aka jhattan, red, java josh, duct tape): all hail the slacklining king! brad and i were too concerned with falling off and, um ... racking ourselves. as brad said to me when we both noticed the line was at "jewel" height, "where's that empty tuna can? i'm going to fashion a cup."

josh is an afficionado of duct tape. he fixes, fabricates, and marks everything with the stuff. laura noticed his duct tape marking on a belay device and thought, "crap, this thing broke and the sonofabitch fixed it with duct tape!"

our attempt at quad mochas for everyone was stymied during the second round when josh's espresso maker erupted, spewing hot, black, molten crap over most of the table. even brad, who was across the street in HIS camping space, said he could see it from there. cool.

mackenzie (aka big mac, special k, mac daddy, dirt barbie, fab, glamour girl): it's not every day that an old geezer like me gets to shack up in a young hottie's tent, but *ahem* since skibby didn't show i had no other option. :lol: however, a girl who climbs AND owns a bomber basecamp tent will go far in anyone's book. now, if we could just do something about that whole "l.l. bean" look!

of course there's still the small matter of that damn holly hobby lawn chair of hers, and the fact she considers poptarts to be camp food. okay, and the finger and toenail polish.

brad (aka shorty, rad brad, cool breeze, the enforcer): thanks for showing us around. i really enjoyed tying in with you; let's do it again. i wish i could have been there to witness your kicking the pop-up camper hillbilly squatters out of your space.

by the way, did you sleep well in the back of your truck? did i mention the basecamp tent? oh, and ... dood.

oleg (aka felis, the mad russian): a real gem. he suggested i cook on his coleman double burner stove instead of my firing up my msr xgk. when i put my pot on his stove, he says to me -- in that cool russian accent -- "make louder". i asked, "what?" and he, more insistently this time, says, "MAKE LOUDER!" and cranks the knob all the way, sending flames up the side of my pot. i said, "oh, you mean 'turn it up'!"

the next morning, after cooking my oatmeal, i have my face not three inches away from the flame, looking at a small puddle of liquid forming on the fuel cannister and thinking: wow, we sure did get some moisture last night. oleg comes up behind me and says, "ees fuel. have small leak." i recoiled in horror, thinking i was in imminent danger of having my face catch on fire, and all oleg said was, "ees okay. fuel cheap in deez country."

stephan (aka son of mad russian): pulls down on 11s. rappels off single bolts. has no use for hexes. stephan had the funniest line of the entire weekend. bear in mind you had to be there (skibs!), but at one point he looks at laura and -- again, in that waaay cool russian accent -- asks, "where cookie?" he sounded just like ahnold schwarzenegger hunting down sarah connor!

i would highly recommend these folks to anyone as climbing partners!


lbeeder


Jun 16, 2003, 10:26 AM
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Re: Colorado RMNP... aka Elevenmile #2 [In reply to]
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Well, well, well. Looks like I'm still the only one left out of the group as far as nicknames go. :cry: I'm hurt. I'm really hurt. No more cookies for you Geo. Ever. You'll be all "Where Cookie" next time.
How do you get a 90 year old woman to yell F**K? Well, you'd all know if you'd gotten your butts out to Elevenmile this past weekend. :lol:
I had a blast on this trip. Everyone who bailed seriously missed out on some good times, good people, good climbs. Sincere thanks to the boys for finding some good climbs for us to do, and for keeping the atmosphere light. After all, "a camp stove is like a woman..." (ask Geo for the details on THAT conversation) :mrgreen:
Also, for everyone's info, We'll be packing some more monster cookies to Blue Mounds in a couple of weeks for that gathering...they're a tradition. And, I'll try to keep the Nebraska Boys in line this year.
P.S. Note the signature Geo. It's all mine! :twisted:


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Jun 16, 2003, 10:48 AM
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laura -- sheesh, i'm SORRY! i'm working on it, but you were just so, so ... NORMAL. you had absolutely no idiosyncracies.

howsabout "college girl", or "cookie monster"?

okay, okay ... i'm working on it! :D


lbeeder


Jun 16, 2003, 10:57 AM
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Geez dude, that's weak. "College Girl?" Don't even try to tag me with a nickname if it's going to be that sad.
Hey, about our trip back...we arrived at home at 5:20 this morning. Ouch for Josh who got an hour of sleep before taking off to work. :shock:


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Jun 16, 2003, 11:04 AM
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OUCH! now THAT is a road trip.

...like i said, i'm working on it ...


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Jun 16, 2003, 11:12 AM
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how about "barcalounger", in honor of that camp chair of yours with the foot rest?

oh, and i remembered something! you walk around in the morning with a giant bag of cheerios, eating them dry and by the handful. now, what can i do with THAT? hmmm ...


wigglestick


Jun 16, 2003, 12:31 PM
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Re: Colorado RMNP... aka Elevenmile #2 [In reply to]
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I am sorry I missed the get together. But an injured shoulder and previously planned trip to Vegas for a friends bachelor party took priority. For the record, Vegas had 5-1 odds on mtngeo not showing up again.


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Jun 16, 2003, 12:50 PM
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oh, wigglestick, dude ... you SUCK! :lol:


lbeeder


Jun 16, 2003, 1:13 PM
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For the record, the giant camp chair, complete with pillow, arm rests, and attached ottoman also belonged to K-Dogg. I was just borrowing it. The Cheerios thing can't really be used against me since you thought it was so awesome the first time you saw me do it. Let's not be contradictory here, huh? So, am I making this any easier for you by shooting down each and every part of your thought process???? :twisted:
P.S. Why would you cover a hamster with duct tape? Ohhh, even more evil! :lol:


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Jun 16, 2003, 1:29 PM
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oh, i DO enjoy a spirited lass!

and ... that was dirt barbie's chair TOO!!? geez, how much decadent comfort does that woman need? you know, we made plans to climb together but now i just don't know ...

i mean ... what if she shows up all j. crewed out and hauling a cooler and a grill? :shock:


lbeeder


Jun 16, 2003, 1:40 PM
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No worries, I think she learned a lot this past weekend. However, go easy on her because she doesn't know any better. LOL. Seriously, you should have seen Josh's face when he came to pick me up the first time we were going backpacking...somewhere between crying and laughing at my obnoxiously huge duffel bag full of clothes and nothing else. :oops: We've all been there...well, those of us who got a late start anyway. Awesome that you guys made plans to climb! That's very cool of you to take her under your wing so to speak! 8)


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Jun 16, 2003, 1:45 PM
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well, no, we haven't made definitive plans. just the ones we batted around at lunch on sunday. the ball's in HER court.

i hope we can ALL get together again.


shorty


Jun 16, 2003, 5:23 PM
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Let's not forget Laura & Mackenzie skipping arm-in-arm to the one-holer outhouse. All we needed was a little background music from (Follow the Yellow Brick Road) to make the scene complete. Geo said it best -- "Even in the woods, women can't go to the bathroom by themselves."

Geo -- Grant is a great kid. I've never heard "yes, sir" so often from one person -- and be so genuine. I can't wait to see him in action once he starts leading.
"SLACK, sir."
"Watch me, sir."
"Dad, the pitch isn't that hard. Just dyno for the mono and get your butt up here, dude. Sir."

Kudos to Josh & Laura for getting up their first multi-pitch trad route. Yeehaw!

A high five to Grant for getting waaay off the deck on The Staircase. Probably a new height record for him.

Memory lapse #1 -- my forgetting the tent on the living room floor. Yes, Geo, I slept well in Chez 4Runner.

Memory lapse #2 -- Stephan and a rap device. Better to realize this on the ground than 130' off the deck at the rap rings.

Memory lapse #3 -- Geo (hint), when tearing down my anchors, clip the cordlette to your harness. I appreciate your efforts to return my gear to me ASAP, but I could have waited for you to rap back down. Really.

Best gumby situation, day 1. The unnamed "5.8" we do with the 5.10a direct start. Nearby Mr. Smack Talker says it's an easy 5.8, but oh yeah, the direct start is a "little" harder. And the 5.9 Cheryl's Peril ("It's hard. I've only seen 2 guys lead it, and one of them was a guide."). Too bad Mr. Smack didn't see both Stephan and me lead it the next day. And too bad he had an epic on the 5.4 first pitch of The Staircase. Walk the talk baby.

Best gumby situation, day 2. The climber noob on The Staircase wearing the shirt with the bold "INSTRUCTOR" on his back. About 20 feet up the crack he was having trouble cleaning a piece his dad set on lead. The father asks, "Where are you?" Noob says, "I'm at the bolt." I realize he can't get the piece (aka "bolt") out, so I ask if it's a nut or a camming device. Noob responds, "It's a 3-dimensional thing." Definitely a new term for a #11 hex (aka cowbell). And I still get the deer in the headlights thing with the dad's hand jamming analogy of the monkey and the coconut.

And the final gumby, shorty leading The Overleaf. At a certain point in your life, age and CRS ("Can't Remember Sh**") make every climb an on-sight. Going for my second "a vue", I tried to go left too soon and pull through a funky 5.10 roof using a rattly hand jam and a lousy foothold at waist height.

Grunting, I say, "Geo, this seems hard for a 5.8. Maybe I'm going the wrong way."

Geo -- "Shorty, can you reverse the moves?"

(muttering under my breath) -- "Geo, bite me!"

Climbing weekends with friends don't get much better than that.


lbeeder


Jun 16, 2003, 6:37 PM
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In my defense, I stand by my original answer...I've never skipped with a girl arm in arm before. It was a virgin skip. Also, I've never made a trip to the bathroom in a pair before. It would have been odd to go to the bathroom paired up with my big hairy friend Joel. :roll:
I must say that Grant is a remarkably awesome kid. I had such a good time with him around (and I knew instantly that he would take to Kenzie like a fish to water). I loved seeing how patient and how good he was. It made me happy to realize that good manners still have a place in this world. He could be a case study for the rest of us.
Kudos to Josh for getting me up the multi-pitch, and for the crash course in seconding he had to give me since I went into the climb blind. I had no idea what I would have to do up there...I figured I'd climb and then we'd come down. Clueless. And since I was obviously clueless, it's a good thing that Josh had an extra belay device with him since no one told me that I'd need one up there. :shock: Quote of the day for me: "Help me Jebus!" Kenzie and Josh are most likely the only ones laughing! :wink:


felis


Jun 16, 2003, 8:41 PM
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[quote="shorty"]Geo -- Grant is a great kid. I've never heard "yes, sir" so often from one person -- and be so genuine. I can't wait to see him in action once he starts leading.
"SLACK, sir."
"Watch me, sir."
"Dad, the pitch isn't that hard. Just dyno for the mono and get your butt up here, dude. Sir."

A high five to Grant for getting waaay off the deck on The Staircase. Probably a new height record for him.
OK, that's kind of hard to add anything interesting after such a great speakers as geo and shorty. Also, as I have a very little idea how to imitate my accent in writing, so I'll better illustrate what you guys said so far. So here's the first set, little Grant.

http://www.speakeasy.org/~felis/hooha/grant_00_RC.jpg
http://www.speakeasy.org/~felis/hooha/grant_01_RC.jpg
http://www.speakeasy.org/~felis/hooha/grant_02_RC.jpg
http://www.speakeasy.org/~felis/hooha/grant_03_RC.jpg
http://www.speakeasy.org/~felis/hooha/grant_04_RC.jpg

They are low quality versions to make it easy on your modems so consider them thumbnails. If anybody's interested, I can e-mail the originals, the size is approx. 650K each.

I'll add more this week.

/felis


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Jun 16, 2003, 10:00 PM
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oleg (felis), nice shots of my boy -- thank you!

and thank you ALL for the nice things you said about him. he really IS a nice, polite young man. he, along with his brother cain and sister wyatt, are my little heroes.


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Jun 16, 2003, 10:05 PM
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okay, so ... where the hell is fab? you know: dirt-barbie ... glamour girl?

REALLY, she HAS to get in on this action. especially after the thrashing she's taken on the first page! :lol:


lbeeder


Jun 17, 2003, 7:01 AM
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K-dogg probably isn't part of the page. I just signed on yesterday (figured it was time to get my lazy butt in gear), so I'm sure she isn't part of the group yet. We'll teach 'er though. You betcha.


jhattan


Jun 17, 2003, 8:25 AM
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I sent her a link to this post and told her to feel free to create an account and contribute.


....in fact I just got a reply from her and she's creating her account right now.


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Jun 17, 2003, 3:59 PM
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oh, hey, i forgot! we got BOOOOOTY this weekend!!

shorty bootied a #12 bd stopper and i scarfed up a bd ropebag! i've never really considered a ropebag.

... must be god's way of telling me i need one.

the lord giveth ... the lord taketh away.


dirtbarbie


Jun 18, 2003, 9:24 PM
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hi all, i've finally made it here to respond a bit, so here we go...

most importantly, Laura is the biggest tom-boy i know, so the skipping arm-in-arm was my doing entirelly...i bring the fem out in her every now and then...i need to thank her for letting me tag along, i had an amazing time!!! :lol:

i enjoyed looking at my new names, nice work geo...i plan to hang onto dirt barbie! next time we get together i WILL NOT bring my hollie hobby chair...big mistake! :oops: geo is right, we all should get together again, this was a great group to climb with...i have to agree with oleg, good climbing with good company!!

i await our next adventure!!

mackenzie :D


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Jun 18, 2003, 11:00 PM
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geez, mackenzie, it's ABOUT time!

what -- did you miss the bus?

:lol: :lol: :lol:


felis


Jun 19, 2003, 9:54 AM
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i await our next adventure!!

Next weekend, maybe?


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