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mother_sheep
Sep 4, 2003, 2:33 PM
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Even when they are for the best, why do they have to be so hard and hurt so much? It's been a while since I've felt anything like this before. Nothing seems normal to me right now. I feel like I'm in a fog. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I feel like a 31 year old loser. What do you ladies do to get back to normal. I know there is life after breakups (I'm divorced) but it's been a while so I'm at a loss. I can't believe I'm pouring my heart out on the net but I know there is someone out there that has felt like this before.
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crazygirl
Sep 4, 2003, 2:53 PM
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don't know if this is much of an advice - but the only thing that works is to let some time pass. go ahead and feel as emotional as you need to be. in a few weeks you will have a better perspective.
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deleted
Deleted
Sep 4, 2003, 3:06 PM
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*bill murray in "stripes"*
"my advice to you is to start drinking heavily."
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unabonger
Sep 4, 2003, 3:22 PM
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Really the best thing you can do in these situations is pamper yourself. Go on long walks, listen to classical music, feed yourself wholesome organic foods, get a massage.
Then, this weekend, go into FULL SLUT MODE and bang anyone who looks your way.
The pablum UnaBonger
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mother_sheep
Sep 4, 2003, 3:54 PM
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In reply to: Really the best thing you can do in these situations is pamper yourself. Go on long walks, listen to classical music, feed yourself wholesome organic foods, get a massage. Then, this weekend, go into FULL SLUT MODE and bang anyone who looks your way. The pablum UnaBonger
I think that's the most logical thing you've said sine you registered. You're right! Look out Boulder!
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deleted
Deleted
Sep 4, 2003, 3:56 PM
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[quote:23b9e5baa3="unabonger"]Then, this weekend, go into [u:23b9e5baa3][i:23b9e5baa3][b:23b9e5baa3]FULL SLUT MODE [/b:23b9e5baa3][/i:23b9e5baa3][/u:23b9e5baa3]and bang anyone who looks your way.[/quote:23b9e5baa3]
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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overlord
Sep 4, 2003, 4:03 PM
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yea, some short affairs could really improve your selfesteem.
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Deleted
Sep 4, 2003, 4:12 PM
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yeah ... what overlord said.
ride 'im like a stolen bike ... then rip his heart out, nail him to a cross, and hang him at the crossroads as an example to every guy who passes. they'll all look up at that poor, weathered, sun-bleached bag of dried bones and ask, "d@mn! what the h&ll did HE do?"
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unabonger
Sep 4, 2003, 4:15 PM
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In reply to: I think that's the most logical thing you've said sine you registered. You're right! Look out Boulder!
Well, thank you. I think. I have a girlfriend or I'd volunteer for some rebound duty.
Seriously, we've all been there and its a tough spot. In the search for distraction, I always get in killer shape after breakups. My hardest redpoints are always about 2 months after d-day.
The sincerely compassionate UnaBonger
PS Any relation to Gerry Roach?
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Deleted
Sep 4, 2003, 4:17 PM
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[quote:71fb926b92="unabonger"]Any relation to Gerry Roach?[/quote:71fb926b92]
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
unabonger -- she gets that one all the time!
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mother_sheep
Sep 4, 2003, 4:21 PM
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UB. . .yes, that is a compliment and no, I'm not related to Gerry.
Geo, what would I ever do without your corruption? :-)
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deleted
Deleted
Sep 4, 2003, 4:31 PM
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hang out at the nun farm?
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the_pirate
Sep 4, 2003, 6:19 PM
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My last break-up was dealt with through heavy drinking and a little, but not nearly enough slutting around. Followed by more drinking, some senseless destruction of public property, and a trip to the drunk tank. I think it was the night in the slammer that helped most to put things in perspective.
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missedyno
Sep 4, 2003, 6:30 PM
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i have always found that writing helped me... never did the rebound sex thing... well okay, but not in great quantities...
i would just go somewhere and write and write and write.
oh and drinking is fine too. :)
you'll pull through it, you're just one person closer to the right one. try to reflect on what you've learned about yourself.
(sorry if i sound boring)
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iamthewallress
Sep 4, 2003, 6:56 PM
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I started climbing to deal with the worst break-up of my life. I'd quit my graduate program and moved to San Diego for all of 3 days with a guy that I was planning to marry when, ploof, it was over. (I discovered that he'd been cheating while I was busy finishing my exams.)
I headed back to the same school where I'd been before, totally heart broken and above all, humiliated that I could be such a fool. It took a few days worth of Valium to keep me from bolting from my lab in a panic. I decided that wasn't a good long term solution, though, and I just tried to get as busy as I could possibly be. I mean get really obsessive about stuff that was positive. I called up all of my friends that I'd lost touch with and adopted their hobbies. For me this meant taking up art class (although I suck beyond belief), eating out a lot, and climbing (which I'd only tried a couple of times before then). I also bought cats to keep me from feeling lonely when I was home.
I'm also a believer in the cleansing power of a good rebound fling as long as you're smart about it. :wink:
Like my grammy always said..."Time heals all wounds."
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mother_sheep
Sep 4, 2003, 7:10 PM
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In reply to: you're just one person closer to the right one. try to reflect on what you've learned about yourself.
I hope you're right. It's hard to look at it like that though. I feel like I'm slipping farther and farther away though and really feeling like there isn't a right one for me. I just don't get it. My wonderful friends are so supportive of me and of course they're all saying the most perfect things to me, like that I'm a catch and how there are so many men that would love to have someone like me. I must be going about relationships the wrong way. I'm either way too involved with climbing or I need to much attention. I can't win.
Okay, back to the fun. I'm making this depressing.
Skibby. . .will you call the waambulance for me?
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climbinggirl33
Sep 4, 2003, 7:20 PM
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We've all certainly been there - I know that climbing became my total sanctuary and escape after my last big break up.
You just need to let yourself ride through the down times, knowing they are natural and necessary; reach out to your friends and let them know what you need, and climb as much as possible!!!
Ben & Jerry's can help too.
Everything in moderation :D
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suzanica
Sep 4, 2003, 7:43 PM
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Take a climbing trip! Bring some friends! come visit us. Some time on the road will give you new perspective. It helped me a lot. :wink:
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mother_sheep
Sep 4, 2003, 8:20 PM
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In reply to: Take a climbing trip! Bring some friends! come visit us. Some time on the road will give you new perspective. It helped me a lot. :wink:
AMEN SISTA! I was thinking about that this morning. I want to go back to Zion and do another wall but that is where we met. I doubt that will bother me though. Something about Zion makes me forget about the rest of the world. I should just take a couple of weeks on the road on my own and hook w/ people along the way.
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gretchino
Sep 4, 2003, 9:52 PM
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I generally just get out...I've tried the locking myself in my house with my cats scenario and just end up eating my way out. The last time it happend I went totally psycho-crazy (yes more than normal) and did a lot of damage to myself and (ahem) him. NOT the thing to do...
Talk to your friends, throw yourself into your work, do something active (Really active), the rebound fling can work but it can also backfire on you if you do it too soon...personally, I like the road trip idea!
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debsanders
Sep 5, 2003, 3:41 AM
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Tracy,
I feel for you! My Dad says they same thing that "iamthewallress" Grandmother says; time heals all wounds . . .
Here's a little bandaid to start the healing;
He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . . .. .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
On a wall in a ladies room . . . "My husband follows me everywhere" Written just below it . . . " I do not"
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says:
"So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you." :lol:
Follow with climbing, ice cream & snickers (candy of choice), dinner and wine with your girlfriends.
Hang in there,
Deb
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moabbeth
Sep 5, 2003, 4:59 AM
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In reply to: *bill murray in "stripes"* "my advice to you is to start drinking heavily."
Wasn't that also Bluto's advice to one of the pledges in Animal House when the kid got flunked?
For me, drinking heavily, crying a lot, smoking and pouring my heart out to friends. Especially girlfriends. They understand. We've all been hurt bad at some point and talking with girls about it helps. Men are a different species. It helps to realize that, that no matter how much you love someone and how well you treat someone it doesn't matter...they can sheeit all over you without blinking if they want to, even without a reason. Women aren't capable of that as much as guys are, being able to hit the off switch and walk away. For us, it lingers. We're the more emotional and nurturing of the genders. Having the support of your girlfriends at least puts that in perspective.
I saw on MTV road rules once when a girl was counseling another girl about a breakup, her advice was: "the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one." Hope that at least brings a smile to your face even though it can't erase hurt.
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epic_ed
Sep 5, 2003, 7:06 AM
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Meet me in Zion. I guarantee my climbing buffoonery will take your mind off the break up and have you pleading for your life. :wink:
Take the time to grieve. It's certainly part of the process. Seems that what I lose after any break up, I gain in closeness and bonds with others in my life. It doesn't make the break up suck any less, but it sure puts the other relationships in my life in perspective. And they are always enhanced as a result. Be good to yourself this week, keep reaching out to those who you know and love, and give yourself permission to feel crappy. It's never easy, is it?
AND EXCUSE ME, BUT WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD DUMP YOU, ANYWAY?! A fool, I tell ya. I said it to you in a PM earlier, but I'm thinking there's a lot of guys in Boulder who are mighty happy to hear that Tracy Roach is back on the market! I know it's not what you want right now, but hey, part of the break up process is recovering a sense of self worth after getting dumped. You can start by taking a look in the mirror. I've got a feeling there's a pretty darn wonderful lady staring back at you. ;-)
Ed
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overlord
Sep 5, 2003, 11:26 AM
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In reply to: He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: thats gr8
In reply to: Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.
hey, im sensitive, caring and goodlooking. and i have a girlfriend. 8)
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missedyno
Sep 5, 2003, 12:35 PM
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Try to stay away from the man-bashing, please :)
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