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Seeing the faces of ego
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lou_dale


Nov 14, 2003, 10:24 AM
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Registered: May 27, 2003
Posts: 53

Seeing the faces of ego
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i almost didn't post about my experience but after thinking it over, decided to do it in a positive light. When i first mentioned my adventure to somebody, it didn't sound positive - at least to me.

after thinking this over for nearly a week, i have decided that if i am indeed on a journey and am becoming a warrior, and the warrior loves learning and growing, then look at what occurred and see the positive lessons.

ego does indeed have a thousand faces and i have seen many. i believe, however, i can learn from having seen it and use this to my advantage of what kind of climber and person i will choose to be and how i can react.

i was aware that when you go to some places on a saturday, the likelihood of climbing whatever you want isn't as good as climbing what is available.

there wasn't very much available but i had already been aware that could be the case and was ready to "engage" anything and see what happens and learn from the experience.

there were several people who were doing things unsafely and the result was - several injuries. four people had to be carried out by friends with broken ankles, thumbs, and injured backs.

some people made hurtful comments to me about the routes we were attempting to climb and ego flowed freely. when i was unable to complete a specific route, a young man walked up to me and asked me if i would like him to lead the route and top rope it so we could work on it.

i thanked him and said.......why, yes, thanks so much - i really appreciate it. he was thoughtful, lead the route, and that gave me an opportunity to work on the route - one i would not have had otherwise.

i found the route to be difficult and reachy but i'm also reminded of many excellent climbers who are shorter than i am who excel on much harder routes. i determined that - on that specific day, i would not finish the route. dale was able to but he was able to use his reach to his advantage.

i came from the route learning - i need to improve my technique. when some people were trying to coach me saying i would have to lunge for the key hold in order to finish the route......i hesitated.

if i power up or through routes; if i lunge for everything that seems just a bit reachy - i will not use that opportunity to improve technique.

if i back down because somebody makes fun of me; or give up every time somebody gives only negative energy - then i don't take that time to engage anything - and i don't learn from it.

the only failure, if indeed there really is such a thing, is (in my opinion) the person who refuses to engage the route. if i allow ego-oriented individuals to control me by intimidating me - to the point that i either don't get on a route or give up.........i do not learn anything.

if i do not learn, how can i possibly grow?

i never made any comments to anybody, will mention no names - but after what i had originally thought was a negative misadventure has ultimately turned out to be a rewarding and positive adventure.

i have been enlightened to different ways ego can prevent me from moving forward.

i learned that just because i did not finish that route - it taught me to improve my technique. i learned that comments made that were hurtful to me about me........are not me. i took that opportunity to use the witness position by standing back and watching how i reacted as opposed to how i could have.

i took the positive path by smiling and not reacting towards anybody in a negative way. i learned from a route i was not able to climb. and i walked away feeling good about myself and my experience.

granted, it took me a week to put this into perspective but again - this allowed me time to put it into more positive words, and to use the witness position by being outside of myself, observing the situations, and see how not to act or react should these situations ever arise again.

i use arno's book for much more than just climbing. the principles are for growth - at least to me - not just in my climbing life but my life which includes climbing.

if the path of the warrior is to learn and to grow - then i choose to use these tools for every area of my life.

i continue to walk the path, and enjoy the journey -

thank you for letting me share,

LOU


arnoilgner


Nov 19, 2003, 9:26 AM
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Re: Seeing the faces of ego [In reply to]
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It's a journey Lou. You are developing the Witness which reminds us that we are not what others may say about us. It's just their opinion. If you notice attention leaking that way, stop it. Then focus on how to exert effort so you'll have some material to process and pull seeds of learning from.
Keep it up. arno


lou_dale


Nov 19, 2003, 2:56 PM
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thanks. i put myself in a situation deliberately - a lot of people - not to be seen or to see others necessarily but to better develop myself in and around crowds.

i found that it did produce some attention leaks even though i was under the impression it had not. i feel this could have been one reason why i wasn't able to work on technique as efficiently.

i am finding the journey more and more rewarding. in the earliest stages, it seemed scarey to me........and now, i have felt some of the growth from your courses, the book, (other books suggested for reading) and this forum is helpful as well - and working on the principles helps as well.

all seeds for growth.

i'm still working on stopping the noise in my head but am enjoying the journey all the same.

thanks so much.

lou


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