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dragonc
Aug 31, 2004, 8:10 PM
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Following up with the recent post by rockbetty about occupations, I wonder if any ladies in here had, have, or have had the Twenty-something Dilemma?
You know the one: you're a twenty-something year old, fresh faced and starry eyed with ideals, optimism, possibilities, dreams of traveling, climbing, exploring, and maybe even changing the world.
You've got to earn a living somehow (and pay back those pesky college loans). The challenge is, how do you find work that's meaningful, which you love and truly believe in, while holding on to your ideals?
Frankly, I'm weary of the typical path: graduate, work 9-5, marry, buy house, have kids, settle. I realize this is a blanket perspective, and life is what you make of it, and so on. I'm only referring to the extreme, my worst fear of not being able to remain free spirited, spontaneous, wanderlustful, and just "go for it".
I'm discouraged by the corporate world and what most of them are doing. I'm not too excited thinking about spreading my legs 9-5 for Corporate America my whole life. I want to join the Peace Corps, live a little bit of a vagabond life. I don't care about big house and nice cars and Gucci shoes. I just want to live lightly on this earth but fully in my heart.
My dilemma is, what I want to do enriches the mind more than the bank account. I have aging parents I want to take care of. I have a boyfriend who's more grounded.
It is a conflict between self-serving and serving others. It's not black and white, they and me. It's blurry. It's both.
What do you think? I'm 22 year-old collge student. I want to know more about the whole balancing act of being everything and all things to others while remaining true to yourself.
This, I suspect, is not unique to my age group or gender. It's probably a universal struggle. What are your thoughts?
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maculated
Aug 31, 2004, 8:21 PM
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Oooh oooh, this is so me, so me.
I graduated a quarter early from school (out in four, which is unheard of here at Cal Poly), left all my friends behind, moved to the Eastern Sierra and started a new life.
My God, I was lonely. I was sad. I kept trying to fit in to the world of professional climbing bums and failing miserably. I started working 8-5 for a six months, managing a couple businesses. I freakin' hated that, too.
So, I said, "I"m the unhappiest I've ever been, what to do now?" I realize the only thing at that stage in my life that made me happy was climbing. I did more climbing in college than I did any other time. I decided to go back.
So, a year ago I started grad school as a way to figure out what my story was. Let me tell you something - best decision I ever made. My life is really coming together for me, now. I've decided I have to pursue a PhD, I've met amazing people, I'm about to start writing a guidebook, I'm doing so much with my skills I feel so useful and purposeful! It's wonderful!!
Just do what my signature says - find what makes you happy and follow it blindly. I didn't know my life would be where it is today, but I went from being despondent upon graduation to fully excited to see where the next twenty something years take me.
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dragonc
Aug 31, 2004, 8:35 PM
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That's AWESOME maculated. And if your guidebook is anything like your gear reviews, I'll pre order it! I totally dig guide books with a little attitude and a lot of humor. Some of the ones out there are soooo dry.
I am a sucker for success stories, especially if they have somewhat the same storyline as mine.
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maculated
Aug 31, 2004, 9:32 PM
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Heh. Thanks Dragon. I'm going to try to make it an interesting read.
That said, don't worry too much if you lack direction right now. Just try to figure out what makes you happy. When I injured myself last year really badly, I was out of climbing altogether for months - and that is when I figured out what else I was supposed to be doing.
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kimmyt
Aug 31, 2004, 9:35 PM
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Before I answer your question, remember that I just recently graduated from college. So, I suppose, I'm still in that 'fresh-eyed' stage you spoke of. My job is still pretty interesting to me, and I haven't gotten that itchy feeling most people do after a while.
So.
My job is one of those 9-5s you spoke of. However, the company I work for is british-owned, which means they are very into making sure their employees are happy at work. Flexible hours, etcetera. I make a pretty good amount of money for someone just out of college with only a BS. This allows me to spend the majority of my time doing things I like, such as climbing. After work I go, on weekends I go. Yes, I work a 9-5 but the work is satisfying and challenging and in the end, I believe it is for a good cause.
I am ok with working a 9-5 and once I'm out of work, I am out of work. No taking my work home with me. I don't live for my job, I live for what my job allows me to do with my time. This ability to leave work behind allows me to survive in the corporate world. I accept that I have to 'pay my dues' by entering the working world. I know that this is not the same path many will choose, but that is what they need and we are all different people.
I think, in the end, you need to find a balance between what makes you happy and what allows you to live the life you want. If you are okay with making very very little at a job that you love to death, then awesome! If you can't put up with low pay and 'sell out' so to say, that's cool too! I think you just have to look within yourself and find the balance that is right for you. I'm not ashamed because I don't have the urge to live in a third world country and find a cure to AIDs or whatever. That's just not me. I also don't want to be one of those people that works 10 hour and more days. Someday I may go back to school, but maybe I won't.
I guess no one can really tell you how to establish the aforementioned balance, but I believe it is possible. Good luck with it.
K.
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granite_grrl
Aug 31, 2004, 9:40 PM
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*Looks around her cubical where she works for a huge american car company* aww, crap.
Yeah, I've fallen into it, get out of university need a job, take what I was offered because the market sucked. My problem: I don't know what would make me happy in terms of career. I don't want to go back to school, I've had enough of that (engineering sucked my life away while I was in classes, working 6:30-3:00 gives me a ton more free time).
I have this vauge notion that I may enjoy doing controller design, so I figure working with controllers in an industrial setting can't hurt, plus it'll be easier to get a design job after I get a bit of experiance.
But my plans for the next few years: Work, get some experiance and save some money. Then quit and travel for a year maybe while I re-evaluate my situation.
A younger guy a year out of high school that I travelled with for a bit asked me how I knew that I wanted to go through elec engineering. My reply was that I didn't, but I tried it and I kinda liked it so I kept going with it (the material is cool, the workload was killer though, no time for climbing! that was my problem with it). I guess I figure that I can just keep trying stuff to find something else that I like. You never have to be stuck in one place too long if you don't want to.
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granite_grrl
Aug 31, 2004, 9:44 PM
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This was sent to me from a friend last fall when we were faced with graduation:
BEING TWENTY - SOMETHING
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with
the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where
you will be in a year ortwo, but then get scared because you barely know where
you are now.You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest
people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of
the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing
that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are
as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and
realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares
you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you
have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your
list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and
then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.
You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you
try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is
drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are or move forward.You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't
meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you
love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing
this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One nightstands and random
hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts
to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and
over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem
to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life
for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd
just like to be a contender. What you may not realize is that everyone reading
this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying
as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your
twenty-something friends...maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't
alone in their state of confusion........
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missedyno
Aug 31, 2004, 10:08 PM
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my current life situation is a tiny bit different than most of you that have already posted, but yeah i'm in the middle of a 20-something something.
I work the 8:30-4:30. I have a job in IT that pays okay - actually for my age, i'm making okay money.
I didn't go to university, but i'm a self-taught computer nerd. Since i skipped college, i've been in the full-time corporate workforce a lot longer than others my age.
This job is okay, i'm still just following my career instead of building it. Following along has gotten me this far, so it can't be all that bad. I'm going to take night school courses to be certified in my career (quality assurance). I'm trying to get a subsidy from the firm to get them to pay for part of my studies.
So i guess i can't complain. Full time job, benefits, stable loving relationship with my soulmate, absolutely NO DEBT none. nada. i refuse.
but i never did backpack europe. i never hit the road to be a climbing bum. i have never quit a job. never been a waitress.
i guess you could say i have some goals. since i have no debt i'm saving my money. i'm a plain jane, nothing fancy. saving money and hopefully within 5 years my partner and i will move out west. the rockies are calling. if anything happens with my job, i'm secure in knowing that i can hit the road and live off my savings.
but there's that nagging worry that i'll get comfortable with this job. comfortable and lazy. i blinked and all of a sudden i'm 25. what if the next time i open my eyes i'm 30 and still here???
on the up side, i've gotten to know some amazing people in their 40's and 50s. seeing these people has helped me realized that it isn't over at 40, it isn't over at 50. so no huge pressure to grow up anytime soon, i can do that in 15 years, right? ;)
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iamthewallress
Aug 31, 2004, 11:03 PM
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I found that grad school was a great way to earn a minimal living wage while keeping tons of free time and flexibility available...and putting off making any real choices about what specifically I wanted to be when I grew up until I was about 29. And you get to defer you student loans until after you graduate...with no limit on how long you can remain a full time student.
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maculated
Sep 1, 2004, 1:55 AM
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Well, if you're not into grad school, there's no reason you can't live like you're in it - part time job, minimal investments, etc.
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melbatoast
Sep 1, 2004, 2:52 AM
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I'm 42 but it's amazing how many of the 20-something issues still apply. I had two kids by the time I was 25 and had quit my job as a writer to be a stay at home mom (still did some freelance work but not enough to support myself). Doesn't sound like any of you have kids, but I can tell you that they made many of my decisions for me. Somehow though, it worked out okay.
I currently work 4 days at the office and Fridays at home doing interesting work that involves writing and "social marketing" to get people to change their behaviors that pollute the environment....it's an uphill battle but the small successes are awesome. I get paid very good money which is what keeps me there until my kids are safely in college. Because even though I like what I do, I'd much rather work part time and enjoy myself more. I don't need much.... Being responsible for someone else has a tendency to limit your choices but I agree that you have to move toward doing what you love...or at least like.
If I were free to do what I chose, I'd work for one of the environmental nonprofits that I deal with all the time. I'd get paid about 1/3 or 1/2 what I currently make but I know it would feel great and everyone would support me in taking off to go climbing. They certainly need staff.
I think all of you are way ahead of the game in that you know what you love. In my 20s all my love was directed at my kids and now that they're almost grown up I've unexpectedly found something else to get all freakily obsessed about! Lucky me!
Maculated, I said it before and I'll say it again. You're cool!
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winglady
Sep 1, 2004, 3:45 AM
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It's amazing to me how clearly I remember these same thoughts (and fears?) when I was 20-something.
Find what you love to do. Easier said than done, for some; for others, you know what it is but think you can't really do it. I believe, looking back these 30 years, that you really can do what you want to do. Perhaps you have to hang in there at a job that isn't quite right for a while; but do it to move you toward what you really love. I worked for companies for times -- often it was great for a while, but the company grew or the personnel changed and the fun went away. I bit the bullet, left the company, and went out on my own. I worked like a mad woman -- but I was doing the work I loved, and I was creating the life I wanted.
I even went through a "mid-life career crisis", totally re-trained for another field, and did something very different for 5 years. Then, I realized my original field was my love after all, found a way to do it a bit differently (getting around the things that pushed me away), and went back to being my own boss again.
Today I'm 50-something, mostly retired, but also writing guidebooks, hiking, climbing, etc. with a partner who has shared a tremendous amount of this passion with me -- my husband. Life is good. We worked very, very hard doing something we loved (software developers/consultants, if you were curious), and also have played very hard doing things we love.
Don't let anyone tell you there's only one path to where you want to be. Dream your dreams and make them real. :!:
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dalguard
Sep 1, 2004, 3:03 PM
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If there's something you want to do, do it now. It gets harder to give up material things as you get used to them. You get kind of addicted and think, "I have to keep this job because how else will I pay for cable TV and my cell phone" and a million other things you don't really need.
But it's not so bad to have a job that pays well with paid time off and to be able to live comfortably and take climbing vacations either. There's plenty of time in your life to do both, but do the something crazy part first.
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maww
Sep 1, 2004, 3:37 PM
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Thank heavens I am not alone in this situation. I am 28 and have been stuck in entry-level PR/mktg/communications for the entire last 6 years. I've been laid off and unemployed for one of those 6 years (what I would give to be down-sized now!!) and did a short stint with Americorps which I loved. My heart is in non-profits which is fine because I don't make any money now so giving up material things isn't much of an issue. ;)
I know I love the outdoors, I love to write, I love to help people and I love to travel. I have yet to figure out how to combine all these things into income..I'm testing the freelance waters slowly but assuredly.
Thank you all for sharing your backgrounds and your feelings on this. It's wonderful to know I'm not alone - most of my friends are off marrying and having babies. They look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them I want to backpack through Europe and venture to India before I'm 40.
Again, thank you all.
Blessings,
Lara
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tavs
Sep 1, 2004, 5:57 PM
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Had the same thoguhts in my last semester of college. I had grand ideas about the kind of place I wanted to work, but also fears about the kind of life that would lead me to. I wasn't really all that sure about any of it--I wanted to work on a boat, but I was worried about money, and I also need intellectual stimulation; I knew grad school was in my future, but I had no idea what I wanted to study; I had job interviews with grassroots enviro groups until I realized for me, canvassing seemed so futile. I had always lived paycheck to paycheck, also, so I was freaked about money (even with a fairly simply lifestyle). Finally, I got a job that was a decent compromise--doing policy research for an enviro non-profit research institute. The money was good (for the field), but I started work 6 days after my college graduation, in DC, where I had no friends, no family, no place to live. And the job wasn't really what I wanted to be doing...or at least, it didn't seem like what I thought I wanted to do...which wasn't all that clear anyway.
Now, I look back and realize that the quirks of fate that led me to that job and that place also led me to the love of my life, my boyfriend of four years. With him, after two years, I quit my job and spent a summer on the road climbing, then moved to SLC and started grad school. I just got an M.A. in political science, where my focus is on environmental political philosophy. This, mind you, after tossing up studying oceanography, marine ecology, history, environmental studies, and philosophy..."tossing up" to the extent that I actually researched and almost applied to programs in all those areas. I eventually came to political philosophy, but more importantly I finally came to see what it was that I truly loved and wanted to be doing--learning. I am the stereotypical perpetual student (though in a couple years I will start a PhD and eventually become teacher as well as student). And I still have moments of crisis, where I feel like this course I've chosen is entirely self-serving, providing no benefits to the world around me or the movements for which I have strong passions (environmentalism, mostly). But I also realize I've struck a balance in my life, and that my contributions to the world come in other forms than just my career--in my choice to be vegan, in volunteering and activism, etc. So I am (usually and mostly) at peace with it.
And this academic life allows me to pursue my other passion, climbing, with a large degree of flexibility. Though currently, having finished my MA, I am putting off making the tough decision to sacrifice climbing to intellect, leaving the mecca of SLC most likely for the Northeast somewhere. So I'm working four different jobs, mostly research, imminently flexible, and making the most of my climbing chances now.
I guess the moral of this overly-long story is that you can find a "lifetime" balance between being financially secure and following your passions, between serving community/family and serving yourself, between your different passions. I did the 9-5, financially secure thing long enough to be able to do the living on the road thing for a while, after which I gave into my need for school, after which I am now servicing my climbing needs, etc. At any given moment, I may not be meeting all my desires and passions, but I know that I am not stuck in any one place. I think as long as you can work at least some of your true passions into each stage, you can be happy.
Sorry for the excessive length. It just sort of kept coming.
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iamthewallress
Sep 1, 2004, 6:04 PM
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In reply to: Well, if you're not into grad school, there's no reason you can't live like you're in it - part time job, minimal investments, etc.
Although there was a period grad school in the middle of it, my boyfriend has been working part time for the last 10 years. He lives very minimally (read: like a monk) keeping his possessions limited to what fit in the truck and over the years managed to save more money that I find myself able to do with a full time job. For him this meant either really meeger apts. or living in the truck and in Camp 4 for years. The trade off was that he always had money if he did want to take a trip, eat out, etc.
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nire
Sep 1, 2004, 9:24 PM
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I am currently in grad school but transitioning into the "real world" with a part time job in industry. I have found that my grad school years have been my most fulfilling and if I could I would stay in this environment. However, since I will be graduating soon that is not possible. I find that with the "real world" creeping in I have found it more and more difficult to keep from becoming a slave to Corporate America. Mainly because the harder I try to not get sucked in the more I am pulled in the other direction. There just is not a compromise in industry; no way to keep a balance. It seems as though you have to choose to be "one of them" or not. So, recently I have been having this moral struggle: do I submit or keep looking until I find that balance?
While the college loans; desire to help my family, etc. tell me to submit, everything else in me wants to run away screaming. It is quite a troubling spot and although I am not surprised to find that there are others in this situation it is nice to know how some people have been able to make it work. :|
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punk
Sep 2, 2004, 1:25 AM
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“What do I wanna do when I grow up???”...Puzzling huaa
Look at Becky 80+ years old never went with the conventional “blanket perspective” and still being judge as Loner and Mad
Living unconventional alternative lifestyle will raise eyebrows and the world out there will scrutinize and judge every move you make as well as not evaluate correctly yours demeanor
If you think of the personal satisfaction, happiness and free lifestyle realize that the price is HIGH understand the constrains that freedom introducing and embrace them as part of freedom know the price and be honest with yourself to whether you able to live without some common social status symbols
Learn the TRUE meaning of being FREE and HAPPY
Remember this Need and Want are two different words you may Want everything but what you need is nearly NOTHING
“You cant always git wadtsho wan but if yo tra somtam yofa joget wadya NEED…Yeah”
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
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iamthewallress
Sep 2, 2004, 5:40 PM
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In reply to: There just is not a compromise in industry; no way to keep a balance.
I don't know what your field is. I studied Biochemistry in grad school and am in biotech now.
In biotech it's pretty darn hard to work part time, although some people (not usually the upstarts, unfortunately) get a 4 day 40 hour schedule. However, there is not much of an expectation of overtime work. Most of my coworkers have kids that need to be dropped off and picked up from day care or school and it's reflected in their schedule.
I have also found that money can buy quite a bit of flexibility. I have enjoyed flying off for weekend/3day climbing trips to places where it would have been frivolous and prohibitively pricey to do so in grad school. (i.e. I live in the SF Bay area, but can occasionally take jaunts to Joshua Tree, Red Rocks, Zion, etc. on the 'cheap' flights and rent a car when I get there.)
I am cautious about maximizing my time off. Springing for flights is part of that. I try to take my days off around holidays that we are already getting even though it often means crowds. Rest days are rare. I forget about doing laundry, accept a certain amount of dissarray in my home, gave up on keeping a current wardrobe, and hope that my parents understand the shorter visits.
I think that the trick is to avoid getting too bogged down in material attachments once you start making money. It's hard to avoid, and I feel myself slipping down that path. Perhaps it is part of the right balance for me now, though. I'm 31 and my priorites are different than they were when I was 21. Like Dawn said...It was easy to not have a cell phone when I'd never had a cell phone. Now I'd rather like to keep mine. If you can stay out of debt then you always have the option of taking big times off between jobs. If you end up with a mortgage, then it's harder to do that (though not impossible)...at least in the Bay Area.
I actually worry in a small way about being able to afford my retirment someday. I realize that some of my friends who are in the 40's and have lived the unattached climber life up till now are pretty stressed about how they'll provide for themselves in old age. I'm all for 'siezing the day', but at some point it becomes easier to enjoy your day when you are taking care of your future. I don't think that you need to worry about this in your 20's. I'm just saying that eventually you may find that Corporate America...or at least it's benefits suits you in ways that you couldn't imagine when you were in your twenties. Though maybe you'll be one of those lucky people who can provide for themself and avoid the coprorate thing altogether. Probably depends on your field.
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kimmyt
Sep 2, 2004, 5:47 PM
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Also in biotech-related field, and agree with what Jess has said above.
My company gives a large amount of PTO, the entire company shuts down over the winter holiday for 1 week.
As long as I get my work done, and work more than a 4 hour day, I can leave whenever I want, come in whenever I want. I frequently rush out at 3 (today...) to get to the crag before 5.
Many of the people I work with are involved in outdoor activities like me, though none of them climbers. In my department we have a myriad of runners, kayakers, mountain bikers, and so forth. There are also those with the traditional family life. I am one of the few single people in my group, but that is not because our corporate life dictates it to be so, but rather because most people opt for the traditional path.
I find it very hard to believe, coming from a corporate culture such as I am familiar with, that any company would prefer it's employees to be all the same dull, drab individuals. However, perhaps my outlook is more often found in the biotech field, where employers are beginning to realize that a happy employee, no matter what their life choices, is a better employee than one who is forced to the mould.
K.
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iamthewallress
Sep 2, 2004, 5:52 PM
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In reply to: However, perhaps my outlook is more often found in the biotech field, where employers are beginning to realize that a happy employee, no matter what their life choices, is a better employee than one who is forced to the mould.
I totally agree...Biologists seem to be a bit more outdoorsy than average, and I think that plays a big role. I think the fact that so many of the employees, particularly in R&D have speant 12 or so years as grad students/post-docs and have settled into lives (and do experiments) that demand flexibility plays a big part too. Honestly, it's part of the reason that I decided on research over medicine.
Only now I realize that the MD's get to work part time, and am not sure that I was a as clever as I though I was back then!
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kimmyt
Sep 2, 2004, 6:39 PM
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Jess, have you spoken to your boss about the possibility of working part time? I know my company offers many options for flexible work schedules. However, we are less of a research organization (in the sense of most not-for-profits and educational research labs) and more of a large corporation which makes it easier to move to a part-time work schedule.
K.
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tonithegreat
Sep 2, 2004, 9:10 PM
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I'm with Maculated. If you really do your best to follow your dreams, I think things'll work out for you career-wise, even if your path doesn't go in the direction you expected. I'm only 25, but I feel like I've already been through the worst for my twenty-something career dilemma.
I went straight from high school to college, with the firm idea that I would blow through my BS with honors and go straight to vet school or some graduate level hard science research. Well, I loved college, enjoyed the hell out of going through my degree with honors, and realized in those last years that I desperately did not want to suffer through lab practical hell in vet school, and after working in biology research as an undergrad, I saw that that field wasn't what I wanted either. And you know, there was a lot of social interestingness in there too, falling into and out of love, etc., and wondering about those things. All I could figure was that I needed to pick something that was fulfilling on some level other than the intelectual ones that bio fulfilled so nicely.
So, I fell back on my other academic passion, writing, and sucked it up and went to law school. That ended my previously debt-free existence in a rather death-knell like fashion. But all of a sudden classes were about changing the world and changing policy, rather than just looking at the world. And I was totally psyched. And totally stressed. For the first time in my life, I fell completely out of the honors categories. And now not only was a degree riding on my ability to graduate and pass the bar, but tons and tons of debt were too. That was terrifying to me, and the stress levels were extreme. Lucky for me I discovered climbing in my first year of law school and starting spending a _lot_ of time in the gym and weekends in Georgia and Alabama.
But to make a long story short, I graduated in the middle of my law class, passed the Fl bar on my first shot, and was offered my dream job defending and writing environmental policy for a state agency. The salary is not fantastic for someone with law school debt, but it also isn't terrible for a 25 year old who can live without dressing like a lawyer most of the time. And I love my job. Absolutely love it. In some ways that was the biggest gamble for me, because I'd never had a desk job before law school, and wasn't sure I could handle one.
So, I think the work fulfilment part of the twenty-something dilemma can be overcome if you throw your energy into following your dreams. Now, as far as love life and hopes for a family and that kind of thing. . . I'm in the throes of the twenty-something dilemma with the best of 'em. . . But that's a whole other can of worms, I suppose. . .
Toni
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kimmyt
Sep 3, 2004, 1:32 AM
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In reply to: realized in those last years that I desperately did not want to suffer through lab practical hell in vet school,
you are not the only one that followed that line of thought!!
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jaylaka
Sep 3, 2004, 3:35 AM
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i think that sometimes life has a beautifully circuitous way of taking you where you're meant to be. so many of us need to find out the jobs we hate in order to discover the jobs we love. likewise, many women need to experience relationships that are unfullfilling, or perhaps disappointing, in order to appreciate a truly wonderful partner. life's often a study in contrasts - without the negative, we can't see the positive for what it is.
that said, i probably wouldn't recommend the route i took. definitely the scenic route, but there were some pot holes (and a washed out road or two) along the way. i graduated with my first BA at 19 in english and women's studies, became a single mother at 20, finished a BS in english education at 22, started teaching, finished a masters in education, bought a house, traveled throughout the u.s. and the south pacific, son in tow.
i'm 26 now and starting my fourth year of teaching - i absolutely love it. some days aren't as good, but you know what? that's life. plus, i have 180 days a year to travel, climb, run, slack, read, and most importantly, raise a child to be a kind and curious young man.
i'm still working on finding a partner in crime for all this, but i think he'll come along in time. (preferably when i need a belayer, but hey.) :D
my advice? don't stress. discover your passions. realize your priorities. and most importantly, keep humor and perspective. those two characteristics will save your ass on more than one occasion. :wink:
jen
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