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passthepitonspete
Feb 5, 2003, 8:47 PM
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{Dr. Piton hitches up his pants six inches above his waist, and begins speaking}
Twenty-three years ago when I was first learning the ropes, my partner John Kaandorp was climbing at our local crag, Rattlesnake Point. Even back then, the circus-like atmosphere of the place was familiar to those of us who dared to venture there on weekends. These were the days of EB's and hexes. Though Friends had been invented, we didn't yet own any.
The fragrance of cannabis would drift across the face of the dolomite and commingle with the peculiar aroma which wafted from the mushroom farm across the way. People like George Manson [who later died on the Cassin Ridge of Denali] could be seen dressed in retro-70's Yosemite garb - white pants and a red bandana. Heaven help the hardman if there were the slightest discolouration of his pristine knee, as this would tell the world that he had used bad form on some desperation mantel.
I always climbed in track suit bottoms - black track suit bottoms - as these better disguised the mud and grit that regularly bespattered the front of my pants. My mentor Chas Yonge once said that if you could lead 5.10, you were allowed to use your knees. I have to confess to you that I usurped this unearned privilege from time to time as I scraped my way upwards through the grades.
And while I longed to wear a red bandana, my mother would not allow me to grow my hair long enough to warrant its use.
Back then, there weren't too many of us who could lead 5.10. Sport climbing had yet to be invented [thankfully] and the routes were usually steep and necky. If you asked to lead a climb, people would move their topropes for you. The leaders always had priority. We would clip ten-year-old rusty pins that actually did hold falls, but of course my stunningly muscular hundred-and-twenty-pound frame didn't exactly stress the system much.
When it came to climbing, nobody - and I mean nobody - had more passion than John Kaandorp. He was without doubt the most one-dimensional person I had ever met! This boy lived, slept and breathed climbing. There was only one topic of conversation on John's plate, and he had little patience for you if you didn't savour his particular flavour of haute cuisine. And while this estranged him from many [notably], it endeared him to me.
Long before Dr. Piton was even a gleam in my computer's monitor, I would telephone John's school to concoct a recipe to free him from the unnecessary burden of pursuing an education.
"Hello," I would say to the school's secretary, "this is Dr. Zabrok's office calling. You have a student John Kaandorp? Yes, please give him the message that his doctor's appointment has been changed to 11 a.m. Yes, that's correct - today. Thank you."
And although my handwriting has indeed been likened to that of a doctor, of course I merely purported to be a doctor, without actually being one. But it is surprising the sorts of things you can get away with if you merely sound like you are a doctor. Sometimes people will even carry your pigs uphill for you, or buy you beer. Or both.
These telephone calls from John's "doctor" happened with such frequency that I was certain the school half expected to find him dead behind his desk one day. Poor bastard, John had a bad case of asthma. He'd have to take an extra puff of his Ventolin inhalator before running Hamilton's annual 19-mile Around The Bay Race.
On this particular day, I was evidently nowhere to be found, perhaps the victim of my own ill-considered decision to pursue engineering in university. [How I ever graduated is a mystery to me. They probably passed me just to get rid of me. I am very proud that I completed school with an average of 60.03%, which proved arithmetically that I did no more work than I absolutely had to. Though some courses I liked so much, I took them twice, if you "get" what I mean....]
At any rate, John had ridden his motorcycle out to the Snake on his own, and teamed up with another aspiring wannabe named Rob Large. In the tradition of the day, Rob climbed with a swami belt, though when I asked Rob a few months later why he had bought himself a harness, and why he no longer attached himself to his lead rope by his abdomen, his response was succinct: "I fell."
John was doubtlessly attired in his unique outfit - a diaper sling harness he had handcrafted from a long piece of one-inch webbing, and which he prevented from slipping down and over his hips by also securing the lead rope around his waist with a bowline. But what set John apart from 'most every other climber - besides his method of tying in - was his footwear, an old pair of leather hiking boots with Vibram soles.
And in these boots, John worked his magic.
He was a natural. Despite the nearly frictionless properties of his feet, John padded up the desperates with skill and courage, climbs that I could only dream of following, let alone leading! I can't begin to tell you how many times I heard people say to him, "you know, John, if you'd buy a pair of EB's, you'd improve a full climbing grade immediately."
So John tied into the sharp end and flashed the route, and then it was Rob's turn to climb second. As the story goes, Rob had a devil of a time trying to follow John up this relentlessly pumpy testpiece. [I can empathize - I was only too familiar with this feeling of frustration and helplessness myself] In fact, so sketched was Rob in following John's lead, that while Rob was barely able to remove the gear from the rock, he had no strength remaining to unclip the pieces from the rope and put them on his gear sling!
Rob scrabbled to the belay ledge and foundered onto John's feet like a debilitated derelict, hyperventilating and nauseous, the entire rack of cleaned gear festooning the rope that joined Rob to his leader! John probably wouldn't have said anything to Rob, but his look would've spoken volumes.
And to this day were I to climb a route with John, and for any reason should I leave a piece of gear still clipped to the rope after having cleaned it - even for a single move! - I could be certain to hear John shout down in a patronizing tone,
"Hey look! Here comes Rob Large! How's it goin', Rob?"
And I would say the very same thing to him.
So what I would like to know is this:
Have you ever Rob Larged it? Have you ever taunted your partners who were Rob Large-ing the route you just led? Do you believe Rob Large-ing it to be cheating, or merely indicative of poor style?
Is Rob Large-ing it about to formulate part of the Modern Climbing Lexicon? Already shouts of, "Oh look, it's Rob Large!" have been heard resounding from the heights of Yosemite to the deserts of Arizona. It's even conceivable that one day, a Rob Large ascent will be considered legit, alongside such other forms of trickery as yo-yoing and pinkpointing. [Whatever the heck those things mean, I haven't the faintest....]
Here is the one and only photo in existence of me Rob Large-ing it. As far as I know, no such photo has been taken since. This was in 1980 - check out the blue jeans and the Galibier Contacts I'm wearing.
The photo is a link, so be sure to click it.
And what of Rob Large himself?
In one of the boldest free solos in the history of Ontario climbing, Rob knocked off The Joke at Bon Echo.
And I haven't seen nor heard of him since.
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kalcario
Feb 5, 2003, 8:55 PM
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there is indeed a better way than this
please seek help soon Canada has good mental health care I hear
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calpolyclimber
Feb 5, 2003, 9:09 PM
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What about the converse of Rob-Larging? I heard a suggestion once of popping draws /pro onto the rope, with the other end clipped to a gear loop, and then just sliding them up and clipping it. That adds a new element to style, grace, and technique.. haha.
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climbsomething
Feb 5, 2003, 9:33 PM
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Quote: Already shouts of, "Oh look, it's Rob Large!" have been heard... (in) the deserts of Arizona.
[said in voice of Buzz Lightyear]:
You're mocking me, aren't you ladies?
De-Rob Large'ing, apparently
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passthepitonspete
Feb 5, 2003, 10:00 PM
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I'm laughing my ass off, Rob, er, Hillary.
And yes, you're right - it looks as though you are in the act of De-Rob Large-ing.
And I believe this to be a VGT.
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josephine
Feb 6, 2003, 8:09 AM
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Hehe,Nope i don't Rob large-ing it!
Nice story[as],Pete!
Penny
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veilneb
Feb 6, 2003, 9:19 AM
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Great Story PETE!!!
I admit. I am guilty. After climbing for about 4 months (never led trad yet). My partner and mentor decided that I was ready to second one of the Gunks classics, Directissima. This includes a 5-7 meter traverse with absolutely no feet. He protected the traverse with a few cams. As I was seconding, barely holding on, I just left the cams clipped to the rope. I thought it was pretty insightful, actually. Toping out on the belay ledge, my partner looked at all the gear hanging down from the fig.8 at my waist and laughed. He called this the "Rosary of Pain". The term has stuck ever since.
[Edited for omitted letters, go figure]
Veilneb
[ This Message was edited by: veilneb on 2003-02-06 09:20 ]
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passthepitonspete
Feb 6, 2003, 10:28 AM
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Indeed. The next time your partner sees the Rosary of Pain, Wojtek, he shall also have to say to you,
"Hello Rob! How's it going? A little sketched today, are we?"
See, Rob Large-ing it is starting to catch on.
I have personally Rob Larged it at the Gunks, or at least I probably have.
But there's no picture! Bwah-ha-ha!!
[Though in 1982 or so I do remember this HUGE crowd waiting for me to fall off while seconding the third pitch of Erect Direction. They were hoping I'd end up hanging in space, and having to prusik with my shoelaces, a la James Bond. Needless to say, I did not give them the satisfaction.]
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cracklover
Feb 6, 2003, 2:55 PM
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"Not that I can recall" (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!)
I can assure you that were I sufficiently gripped, I would "Rob Large" it with the best of them.
GO
PS - Good story!
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rckclimbergurl
Feb 6, 2003, 4:16 PM
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Nice story!!
Nope! I've never done it, or so I think.........
Hahahahaha, innocent until proven guilty!!!
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miker
Feb 6, 2003, 4:37 PM
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Oh Yes, reach up, pull out cam frantically grab the rock again.
Only guilty once or twice on some thin fingery stuff and an overhang where I pulled two of the nuts out as I climbed past them.
I will remember to call my next follower Rob Large, if appropriate, but I don't know if I will explain it.
Miker
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drector
Feb 6, 2003, 4:48 PM
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Yes. When the leader climbs something so pumpy that I can barely make it, I opt for the better of two evils. I Rob Large it instead of falling on second.
I usually opt to remove the gear at the next available rest to be in the habit of arriving at the belay with the gear properly unordered and confused on my harness. It's also a good excuse for a longer rest.
Dave
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passthepitonspete
Feb 6, 2003, 5:08 PM
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Attaboy, Rob! [Er, Dave....]
Even if you remove the gear from the rope at the next available rest, you are still considered to be Rob Large-ing it.
This is amazing! There are Rob Larges emerging from cracks all over the country!
But what of our Euro climbers? Does Rob Largeing it extend beyond the boundries of our continent?
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onelung
Feb 6, 2003, 5:16 PM
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Last Saturday I cleaned my first Trad pitch. I am a fresh trad convert but still have to practice off my top rope solo.
Anyway....As I cleaned and didnt have the best of holds I thought of (ignorant of the term) "Rob Largin" it but feeling under the scrutiny of my buddy I ensured each piece was hanging with "its own kind" on my harness. Of course this was on a sweet crack with decent holds......we'll see what Bill does when it gets tough.
Ho'o Mau, (Climb On)
Bill
Edited cause I cannot type....Sheeees!
[ This Message was edited by: onelung on 2003-02-06 17:31 ]
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wandt
Feb 6, 2003, 5:38 PM
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I'm not sure if it caught on, but while in Germany I Rob-Larged once or twice. Of course the crags were pretty empty for the months of November and December, so no great masses of impressionable young kletter-krauts were exposed to my killer Rob-Larging technique.
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climbsomething
Feb 6, 2003, 6:16 PM
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I prefer to be called "Roberta Small," thanks
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mojorisin
Feb 6, 2003, 6:35 PM
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All I can say Pete is, if you do ANYTHING BUT get people up big walls the better way, and write about it with these stories and HOT links to go with them. You are wasteing your time brother. Now I will never admit or is there any photo(because I ripped it up and burned the negative)in existance that can accuse me of Rob Largin it. But I could tell you about an idiot that did just that and got a QD caught in a crack and had no choice but to take a whipper and slam into the rock he just climbed. The permenant scar on my right knee is from a skate board accident
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passthepitonspete
Feb 6, 2003, 6:53 PM
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Spoken to mojo in the voice of Dr. Evil: "Riiiiiiiiight......"
And as for you, you shagadelic young whippersnapper sport climbing hottie, you - there shall be NO femininize...
- there shall be NO femmmininn....
Ah look, hon - the translation into girl speak just don't work, K?
You must Rob Large it with the rest of us, lass!
I am Dr. Piton,
and Politically-Correct I ain't
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iris
Feb 7, 2003, 4:16 AM
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Will definitely introduce the expression on Luxembourg grounds, have seen many Rob Largers so far (including myself ).
Great story Pete and thanks for sending me the link.
Iris
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johnhenry
Feb 7, 2003, 2:16 PM
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Rob Large in East Asia???
You better believe it!
Rob Large in Japanese would be most likely rendered Robu-ragu due to the conspicious lack of L and the fact that, in this syllabery, a word cannot end on a consonate sound (exception n). Also, foreign words are usually abreviated.
For example,(take note Pete) sexual harasment is rendered seku-hara or Love Hotel becomes Rabu-hoteru (which are conveniently located at every turn and have a vending machine, key distribtion system which insures anonymity)...
The mandetory honorifics would require the suffix san, kun, sensee, or sama. Since Rob Large is dear to all of us, we would most likely use the casual Kun(a boy or a close male friend), thus we would have:
Robu-ragu kun.
At any rate, I have witnessed and even encourage this technique in the islands of Japan. If I have a guided client on a multi-pitch route who is "floundering," I would much rather have them "Rob Large" than drop a cam.
As for myself, I too am guilty. Usually I will try and find a stance before the anchors to clean up and save face.
Robu-ragu kun, ganbare!!!
John
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vegastradguy
Feb 7, 2003, 4:19 PM
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Hrm...guilty....
I was following a 2-pitch 5.10c sport route, and blah blah, bad stances, had to leave a draw on the rope till i got better handhold.
on the bright side, I have yet to Rob Large it on trad. mostly because i do most of the leading as of late....but also because my partner is kind enough to put pro where the stance is decent.
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passthepitonspete
Feb 7, 2003, 4:34 PM
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Rob Large is a world traveller! He has made it to Luxembourg, as Rob tells us.
And Rob says he's in Japan, too.
And now Rob tells us he's climbing in the Nevada Desert.
But sport climbing Rob Large-ing it? Such a thing to confess!
The only thing worse than a sport climbing Rob Large would be {shudder} someone who Rob Larges it in the gym.
[Note: I have never Rob Larged it in the gym, however I do grab slings on 5.8's.]
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vegastradguy
Feb 7, 2003, 5:02 PM
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LOL..yes, i know, i know. Luckily, no one saw me do it, and I was able to de-rob before my partner got sight of me!
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nailzz
Feb 7, 2003, 5:24 PM
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[stands up shyly and looks a little guilty]
"Hi, my name is nailzz, and I Rob Large it."
I am guilty more than once of cleaning routes and leaving the gear attached to the rope instead of sorting it to my harness and/or gear sling. I've gotten better, and usually when I do pull the move nowadays it is just to get to a better stance a few moves away. But, nevertheless, I Rob Large it.
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canrocker
Feb 7, 2003, 5:27 PM
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Being a beginner of sorts, I haven't had the chance to Rob Large it, But am sure I will at some point down the road. Great story as always, Dr. Piton!
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