Snap your tiger-striped thong into place and grab the Crumpler Fux Deluxe Messenger Bag. This big-ass bag fits exactly one case of beer and two bottles of whiskey according to the deviants at Crumpler, so youll be ready for anything. Crumpler designed this standard pro-courier bag for bawdy bike messengers, kinky commuters, and sensual students who need some extra space. The Fux Deluxe features a huge internal compartment your mom joke omitted and four stash pockets for your pens, pencils, and chocolate syrup. The straps shoulder pad provides cushioning when you want it, but you can remove it if you like it rough.