Rockclimbing.com

Silent Bob leading a harder variation first pitch on Zenyatta Entrada 5.4 A3 on the Tower of Babel, Arches National Park. This pitch is A2ish with some nasty loose rock near the anchors.

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This is page 16 of my presentation.

Anyway, it's the fall of 1998 and Sean, Chris and I are humping loads up to the base of El Cap, when all of a sudden up walks this dude.

"What route are you climbing?" he asks.

We tell him it's Reticent Wall.

"I don't suppose you have a topo I could look at...?"

I hand him a copy of my topo, and suddenly we find all of these TV cameras stuck in our faces!

Turns out this guy is Humar, and he is at his wits' end since nobody would give him beta for the route! The only "topo" he has is a photocopy from the big Clay Wadman El Cap poster - and you could never find your way up Reticent with that!

I can't believe it!

"Well listen," I tell him, "when we get down from the wall, I'll give you an annotated copy of my topo."

Humar is OVERJOYED - he's like a kid at Christmas - and the movie cameras roll as he pumps my hand in his trademark death grip handshake. [Ouch!]

Tomaz and I agree to meet back at Camp 4 later. See, Tomaz had never soloed a big wall before, and he needed a Wall Doctor to teach him a few big wall tips. Besides, I had this book I wanted him to buy....

Please click here to continue the story, and to read how the World's Greatest Climber ended up with Dr. Piton's Chongo book. [You know, the book my detractor on page 1 tried to tell you didn't exist?] Sheesh.

[Photo of Tomas Humar taken on Reticent Wall by MATEJ MEJOVSEK, which Tomaz emailed to me, along with permission to publish here at RC.com]

Photo by Richard Heinrich

This is a photo of my BFPs ready for lift-off on my solo ascent of Zenyatta Mondatta on the Southwest Face of El Cap.

See that white bucket hanging beneath? That's Chongo's kitchenette which I used to make my coffee each morning. Unfortunately, when I tried to lift off, the bucket got hung up under a rock, and I had to rappel down four hundred feet to release it!

You can click the link above to read the story, and you can click here to read about how to "flag" your portaledge.

You can also click here to see a flagged ledge in an early draft of Chongo's book.

Photo by Zabrok

Marquis by Stu Hammett


THE EL CAP SANCTION

The Big Stone - legendary and lethal. Gawkers come from around the world to view the morbid spectacle of climbers throwing themselves at its sheer face, and to toast the fortunate few who return.

The team:

Adam - Native Californian. Cocky and smart, with "anger management issues".

Zabrok - Canadian. Eccentric, self-absorbed and brilliant. His technical expertise will be crucial to the team's success.

Humar - European alpinist of renown. A goof on the ground, but a tiger on the rock. Rumour has it that he owes Zabrok a debt of honor from a previous climb here.

Fiend - Another Canuck, but a gym climber who may not realize what he has gotten himself into.

One of these men is a killer. Only three (maybe two) will survive.

In theatres December 1.

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This is page 6 of my presentation, and here you see Tomaz Humar, considered at that time to be the World's Greatest Climber in the Millennium Edition of Climbing Magazine.

While very few on this side of the Atlantic have even heard of Humar, in Europe he is nearly as famous as Reinhold Messner!

This boy is bad ass - he is BAD TO THE BONE.

Please click here to continue this story and read where I met and helped Tomaz at the base of Reticent Wall, and to see more bitchin' photos of TOMAZ HUMAR!

[Photo of Tomas Humar taken on Reticent Wall by MATEJ MEJOVSEK, which Tomaz emailed to me, along with permission to publish here at RC.com]

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This is page 10 of my presentation.

OK, so here's the story - bitchin' bad-ass Euro climber comes to Yosemite, where nobody has heard of him, and announces that he is going to solo Reticent Wall, one of the hardest in the Valley!

And nobody believes him! They just don't believe he can do it! And not only do they not believe him, but they won't help him, either.

So poor Tomaz is dragging his film crew around Yosemite trying to get beta and a topo for Reticent, and nobody will give it to him!

Look, this guy is bad to the bone. Check out some of the stuff he did before coming to Yosemite.

Check out what he did on Ama Dablam Do not even think about reading one page further until you have clicked on the Ama Dablam link above!

Here's an exerpt from Ama Dablam:

"After twelve hours we slowly run out of vertical ice and face the crux: an overhanging rock barrier. We put away our ice-climbing equipment and get everything ready for technical climbing. We have before us a short pitch of powder snow on a slightly overhanging rock. Those twenty-five meters of sheer despair took me two hours and a half, and I do not know to this day how I managed to cheat my way over, as I was unable to peg a single piton."

"While I am unclipping the belay, the rope we have used to haul the rucksacks jams a few meters below. Vanja lowers me to unjam it. At that moment there's a loud noise from above and the bag with all our ice equipment - ten ice screws, the Abalakov hooker, the ice hooker, the deadman, and all the bolts - zooms past my head down into the depths below. We both yell in terror. When our shrieks die away, we carry on as though nothing's happened."

If your hands aren't sweating and your toes aren't freezing after those little anecdotes, then you had best read on.

Please click here to continue to the next photo and to read what Tomaz' detractors said to him!

[Photo of Tomas Humar taken on Reticent Wall by MATEJ MEJOVSEK, which Tomaz emailed to me, along with permission to publish here at RC.com]

Photo by Richard Heinrich.

There is a great story I need to share where Chongo got busted for "Abandonment of Gear" and how the whole Chongo Nation went to court on his behalf.

The charges were subsequently dropped.

You can click here to see another of Richard's great photos of Chongo.

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This is page 18.




Subject: Hi tourist....

Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 12:00:38 +0100

From: Tomaz Humar

To: Peter Zabrok

It nice to hear you... Recently i was on film festival IN Banff with Chris !!!

I have slide show and was great organization..... I also write a book " No impossible ways " where I have photo with Chris, i write about our discussion about A5 pitch.. how you have two kids and good job with an insurance... And of course I mention also your topo and Congo book and his typical words;

when I climbed Reticent Wall "you are a f*cking bad ass man!"

I also have a good photo in my book with Jim Bridwell....





Subject: Jolly Roger photos!

Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 01:35:58 -0500

From: Peter Zabrok

To: Tomaz Humar

Hey, I hope you like this. Jolly Roger was RAD!

RockClimbing.com - Ascent of Jolly Roger by passthepitonspete

Great hooks!

Almost as hard as Reticent, but maybe not quite so hard??





Subject: Re: Hi tourist....

Date: Sun, 25 Nov 2001 10:06:04 +0100

From: Tomaz Humar

To: Peter Zabrok

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

Yes I have, but right now not in my computer, here is one more...

I would like that you help me with your percent f*cking English for tourist...

still tourist

ps; I had an accidents one year ago, I build my own house and break both legs, after 7 operations, now I am better... Hey Peter you know computers better then me, look the GOOGLE SEARCH about Tomaz Humar and you will find more than 600 links... about professional tourism.....

You can publish enytime eny where. first photo is take in A5 pitch and second I think in A2 you know diedre before short traverse to ledge for A5. PHOTOS DID - MATEJ MEJOVSEK

SEE YOU F*CKER !!!!

TOURIST





Oh yeah, I did promise you a reference, didn't I?

Please click here to finish the story, and to read my reference.

[Photo of Tomas Humar taken on Reticent Wall by MATEJ MEJOVSEK, which Tomaz emailed to me, along with permission to publish here at RC.com]

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This is page 17.

Yeah, so we sent it - Chris led the A5 death pitch, thank goodness. I had "won" the pitch in paper-rock-scissors [I knew they'd both throw 'rock'] but bailed after taking a thirty-foot upside-down fall when the swage on my Pika head failed. [Pika heads are not recommended by Dr. Piton]

Humar sent it too. Of course. He looks pretty happy here, eh?

The good news is that we all lived to tell the tale. And this is a Very Good Thing, when the tale is about a new wave A5 big wall.

Please click here to continue, and to read my email banter with Tomaz.

[Photo of Tomas Humar taken on Reticent Wall by MATEJ MEJOVSEK, which Tomaz emailed to me, along with permission to publish here at RC.com]

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This is page 9 of my presentation.

Check out Humar's aiders in the photo below. Pretty rinky dink, eh? This is the European style where the single aider is put on a fifi with a long cord attached to Tomaz' harness.

Dr. Piton would say that this is emphatically NOT the Better Way, but when you are as bad ass as Tomaz, you can solo any frickin' way you choose!

But being bitchin' has its disadvantages, as Tomaz was about to learn.

You would think that a guy like Tomaz could arrive in Yosemite, inquire among the locals, and be able to get beta and a topo for his proposed route, right?

Guess again!

Please click here continue and to read about Tomaz' Yosemite Detractors.

[Photo of Tomas Humar taken on Reticent Wall by MATEJ MEJOVSEK, which Tomaz emailed to me, along with permission to publish here at RC.com]

Echo and Cottonail Towers in the Fisher Towers. Echo Tower is on the left, Cottontail is on the right. The picture was taken from the third pitch of the Colorado NE Ridge on the Kingfisher.

Andrew Gram leading the first pitch bolt ladder on the Colorado NE Ridge of the Kingfisher. Lots of manky pins, rivets, bolts, and assorted trinkets on this pitch.

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This is page 3 in my presentation, and here in this first draft of Chongo's book you see a drawing of a Flagged Portaledge.

I include this particular drawing in my presentation for two reasons.

Firstly, I had already written about how to "flag" your ledge, and had published a photo, too.

Secondly, you can see my handwritten edits to Chongo. [Just because you can see my handwriting in no way means that you can read it...]

Now, if this weren't sufficient proof as to the existence of the book, or to my identity as its Editor, in an extremely nasty post I was accused of copyright violation!

Now, I found this accusation churlish and ridiculous - Chongo was overjoyed for the attention! - and naturally I took the opportunity to fan the flames.

I was purposely as inflammatory as possible for two reasons. Firstly I wanted to get Chongo some publicity, and secondly I wanted to "generate hits" for the forum. I believed that more hits would lead to more advertising revenue and hence more profit.

Indeed it worked - during its brief existence, the Dr. Piton Forum was the most popular place on RC.com, mainly because everyone was so pissed off! [Though I'll confess I enjoyed the banter with some "politically correct angry women"!] The whole website became polarized and divided into two camps - Dr. Piton's "supporters" and Dr. Piton's "detractors." I RANTED about my detractors, and my supporters filled the Detractor Roll Call.

One morning I watched the Forum disappear before my eyes at the hands of a moderator/detractor - but the forum was subsequently reassembled. Later Trevor put an end to the merriment when people started leaving the website, so the Dr. Piton forum is no more.

You can click here to read the requests to bring back the Dr. Piton Forum, but Trevor has decided not to since he wants input from more people than just me. The current plan is to HTML-ize some of my posts, and put them into a separate Dr. Piton section of the RC.com Articles.

This is the Better Way to present Dr. Piton's information since the articles give us much more flexibility in terms of text and photos. Andrew is assisting me with this, but it's a ton of work.

If you are getting bored, then please click here to return to the Aid Climbing Forum.

However if you are getting interested, then please click here to proceed to the next page.

[Click here to return to page 1]

This is page 5 in my presentation, the beginning of Reticent Wall, at the top of the first pitch I think. Dumb place to bivi, eh? I remember being so amazed when Sean insisted we move from our plush bivi on Lay Lady Ledge, which you can see below, up to the hanging one you see here.

But the real story of Reticent Wall begins not here, but at the base.

I do not like to be called a "fraud" or a "fake".

I believe the best way that I can establish credibility, besides using the photos and trip reports that appear in my profile, is to provide you with a reference.

Generally speaking, the "higher" your reference, the better your credibility.

For instance, it would be better to get a reference from your mayor than say your pastor or your employer. Accordingly the mayor of Toronto would be better than the mayor of Oakville. Better still would be the Premier of your province, and better still the Prime Minister of Canada!

But since none of you Merricans knows who he is, I think I'll get you the best reference of all - I'm going to go straight to the TOP for this one, folks.

The reference whom I am going to provide you with is the GEORGE FRICKIN' BUSH of climbing.

Please click here to advance to the next photo, and read of when I met and became friends with The World's Greatest Climber.

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This is page 15 of my presentation.

There are actually TWO real live death pitches on Reticent, the first of which climbs the corner above Wino Tower, where Warren Harding bivouaced on his ascent of The Wall of the Early Morning Light. There are still shards of glass here from Harding's wine bottles!

Harding wrote that he was disappointed not to find a crack in this dihedral, and had to climb up and right instead. Well, there is a crack, it's just that it's new wave A4.

The only reason this pitch is not new wave A5 is because of the single rivet placed by its first ascensionist. When I asked Steve Gerberding why he drilled it, he told me that while he could have hooked a loose flake, the flake was so loose he was certain it would have fallen off subsequently, and he drilled the rivet so as not to overly inflate the pitch's rating.

But rivet or not, if you fall off this pitch, you're dead. Sean dispatched it in masterful style in an all day beak- and hookfest.

Please click here to continue with the story, and return to more bitchin' pictures of Tomaz Humar.

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This is page 12 of my presentation.

In 1998, Sean Easton, Chris Geisler and I made the eighth ascent of Reticent Wall. This new wave A5 death route gave us everything we could have hoped for - fun, excitement, danger, and fear.

Midway up the wall, we were terrified to see a man come hurtling towards us, then suddenly jerk to a stop in an explosion of chalk three thousand feet off the deck after an intentional Factor 1 two-hundred-foot screamer!

Turns out it was merely Leo Houlding, out for a little "fun". Fortunately, he didn't get hurt like he got hurt in THIS fall.

Leo made two more of those horrific whippers, and when I asked him how he could make such an epic fall, and yet do so in complete silence, he replied,

"What did you expect? I'm British."

In that same Millennium Edition of Climbing Magazine, Leo was considered to be the World's Greatest Trad Climber, for his death-defying gritstone horror shows, and his second ascent of El Nino.

This photo looks like that Monty Python sketch where the guy is "climbing" the sidewalk. It is a vertical wall - honest! This is one of the "easier" pitches - "only" new wave A2+, the ultimate sandbag rating. Please click here to read my attempt to explain new wave aid ratings.

I imagine the following telephone conversation where the Yosemite Ranger calls my mother. [Spoken in deadpan Joe Friday Dragnet voice]


"Hello, Mrs. Zabrok? This is Ranger Danger calling from Yosemite National Park. It's about your son....

"Is he hurt? Uh, no ma'am, not exactly...he's dead.

"Yes ma'am, we're sure. Fortunately, ma'am, there's some good news. He died on Reticent Wall - one of El Cap's hardest.

"Yes ma'am, that IS good news.

"No ma'am, it wasn't the A5 crux pitch....I'm sorry.

"What was the rating?

[Ranger appears nervous, loosens collar on shirt]

"Uh, er, it was - [ranger clears throat] - it was only rated A2+, ma'am.

[Ranger grimaces and holds telephone away from ear as string of expletives is heard coming from receiver]

"Please ma'am, don't be upset - it was NEW WAVE A2+...."


Please click here to continue, and to see more cool photos of my ascent of Reticent Wall.

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This is page 16.

Here's a copy of the actual topo that I gave Tomaz Humar when he couldn't find one.

You know it's "legit" for two reasons - firstly, you can see that the word "rivit" is misspelled by Gerberding, like he always does, and secondly you can see that the gear list includes a ghetto blaster, 12 Olde English, and one Big Wall Crab.

Please click here to read Tomaz Humar's interview after soloing Reticent Wall where he talks about how difficult he found the climbing to be, and where he tells how we helped him when nobody else would:


"Another problem I encountered was with the local climbers: no one wanted to help me in any way whatsoever, perhaps because I was there for the first time and nevertheless wanted to climb the route solo. They didn't give me any useful information about the route, perhaps because they didn't think I would succeed.

I'm proud of the fact that I'm the first European to repeat this route [he means first European to solo this route - Ed.] and I must thank the Canadians who, having climbed the route prior to me, were the only ones who gave me precise info about the route."


Please click here to continue to the next photo.

[Click here to return to page 1]

This is page 4 in my presentation, and is a load release knot which has been talked about in the Dr. Piton Forum. This post was later moved back to the Aid Climbing Forum and is entitled Ask Dr. Piton...about attaching your haul load to the anchor - the LOAD RELEASE KNOT.

A very funny epilogue to these photos occured recently.

When I submitted these photos initially, I wanted to hide them. I take particular pleasure in hidden links and secret messages - my posts are riddled with them. So I and a few other co-conspirators voted these photos down to a "1" in an attempt to keep them unnoticed for a while.

EVERY SINGLE PHOTO in this presentation has been "hidden" on this website for a year - I bet you didn't notice, either!

A few months ago, Trevor made a post about sabotaging photos on RC.com where I learned I was the second most sabotaged user. I wrote in Trevor's post that despite my personal feelings of dislike for anyone, I would never stoop to "voting his photos down."

I was immediately presented with a scathing PM from one of the then-admins calling me a liar since I had allegedly voted down so many of his photos! He used his "powers" to access the data base of the website, providing me a list of photos showing all my "1" votes! [Good thing the government doesn't know who I vote for, eh?]

Turns out that I did in fact give a vote of "1" to a terrible, boring and blurry photo of this person - all the other "one votes" were to my own damn photos!

What a pillock!

You can imagine the "colour" of my return PM.

Anyway, this is one of my photos that I had hidden with a "1" vote.

If the climbing is getting a bit steep for you, please rappel off here, otherwise you may wish to click here to advance to the next photo in my presentation. I promise, it's actually a climbing photo!

Note: If you are getting bored, then please click here to see a photo of men with gourds on their penises.

Please click here for further information on men who wear gourds on their penises.

[Click here to return to page 1]

This is page 15 of my presentation.

As I've mentioned, Tomaz had a helluva time getting information and beta. I truly felt sorry for the guy, and took him under my wing.

Since he had never soloed a big wall before, I gave him a mini big wall tutorial where I taught him a few of the big wall basics.

He sure as heck knew how to climb - but what he needed help with were the systems. I taught him how to build a 2:1 Hauling Ratchet so he could haul his hundred kilos of supplies up the wall, and I taught him how to make a docking tether and thence how to tie a load release knot so he'd be able to release said hundred kilos from his anchor.

When I showed him my copy of Chongo's book, he told me he really wanted a copy of his own. So off we walked from Camp 4 over to the Yosemite Lodge Cafeteria, where this picture was taken, to find Chongo and buy a book.

Predictably, Chongo was out of stock. [This should come as no surprise.]

Now, remember back on page 2 how I said when I was looking around at home for a copy of the book to scan for RC.com, I couldn't find the edition that said I was the Editor?

Anyway, sometime after turning my house upside-down looking for the thing, I suddenly realized, "Oh, RIGHT! I gave my copy of Chongo's book to Tomaz Humar!"

Now, imagine my delight when in the middle of this attack on my identity and credibility that happened a year ago, I realized I even had this photo of the transaction?

Heh heh heh.....

So check it out - Tomaz is paying Chongo for my frickin' book! [You know, the book whose existence I stated as fact, yet could not prove when asked to do so?] You may be surprised to learn that even around this place, the existence of Chongo's book is generally, but not universally, accepted as fact.

And do you know what? I never DID get another copy of the book from Chuck!

And that is the story of how my Chongo book ended up in the hands of Tomaz Humar.

Cool, eh?

But this story has a funny epilogue, which you can read by clicking here to continue with my presentation, and see the actual annotated topo of Reticent Wall that I gave to Tomaz when nobody else would help him.

[Click here to return to page 1]

This is page 2 in my presentation and in this page of Chongo's book you can read the names of people who have helped in the development and implementation of new Big Wall Technology, which is what I now call the Better Way.

Chuck got a lot of help - the acknowledgements read like a Who's Who of Big Wall Climbing.

You'll see Ammon McNeely, who is elcapbuzz here at RC.com [at least when he bothers to show up! Sheesh.] See how many others you recognize.

Not only do I disagree that "this does not sound like a book," I cannot help but think it rather looks like one, too.

Yet something was amiss here - I was supposed to "prove" that I was the Editor, yet nowhere in my copy did I see it written, "Editor: Peter Zabrok"

I found this momentarily perplexing - I knew I had seen this in later editions.

This story just keeps on getting stranger, so click here to proceed to page 3 of the presentation.

[Click here to return to page 1]

This is the last page - thank goodness, eh?

Anyway, this is a photo of me and Tomaz in El Cap Meadows after climbing Reticent Wall. I'm not sure who that other dude with the beer and the cigarette is on my right, but he wanted to be in the photo, so what the heck....

So anyway, like here's my reference, eh?



Subject: Re: Hi tourist....

Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 16:50:24 +0100

From: Tomaz Humar

To: Peter Zabrok

References:1 , 2

hej "f*cking bad-ass m*therf*cker" for climbing Jolly Roger

stil tourist




Like I said, if you're going to get a reference, you might as well go straight to the top.

And you can't get a better reference than that.

And that is the story of how Tomaz Humar became a "patient" of Dr. Piton.



Please click here to finish, and to look at pictures of tits and bums.

The worldwide web is a funny place. When I first arrived here at RC.com, I began writing technical and teaching posts in the Aid Climbing Forum. If you've read them, you'll know they're pretty good.

I learned all this stuff in two ways - I edited Chongo's book, and then I took the ideas to the big walls of El Capitan, often solo, to figure them out.

Yet for reasons I still do not understand, a number of people [including the then top three users on this website!] did not believe I was who I said I was. Despite me posting dozens of photos of myself actually climbing on El Cap, I was called a "fake".

I found this one particularly amusing:

"Like I asked for the publisher of the book that you "edited", as your "supporters" believe that you have done. You replied in a PM that Chongo makes copies himself at Kinkos, colates [sic] them, then sells them. This does not sound like a book, as I pointed out, but you failed to respond publically [sic] to this as well. You state publically [sic] that you've edited a book, but have failed to show the proof of this when asked to do so.

If you publically [sic] make statements as to your achievements, you should be able to publically [sic] back them up. Do you not agree ??? Or should all the users just blindly believe anything you say as do your "supporters" ???

You tend to state things as fact, but cannot prove these things when asked to do so.

Note: please click here to read my Dr. Piton Quote of the Day where I was recently called a fraud. If you are on of my "sheep" you will do this without hesitation.

"Baaaaaah..."

Anyway, based on the demand quoted above to "prove" the existence of the book, I made up this little presentation. I took my Chongo book, unscrewed it, scanned the pages, and submitted the photos. The name of the book is

THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BIG WALL CLIMBING

VOLUME ONE: THE GROUND MANUAL by Chongo

The book is self-published by Chongo. I am its Editor.

Note the Library of Congress Copyright registration number - you'll learn more about that as you move along!

This is probably the most amazing and unbelievable story you have ever read - you will just have to click here, if you dare, to proceed to page 2 of the presentation.

This is the Titan, the biggest of the Fisher Towers and one of the most impressive pieces of rock anywhere. Photo: Andrew Gram

This is the Maverick on the Hindu Spire in Onion Creek, Utah. Notice my partner in the lower righthand corner for scale. Photo by Andrew Gram

It was 1983, my first visit to the mythical and mystical Valley. I had been enjoying some free climbing, and had managed to get up a couple Grade V walls.

After a strenuous few days of climbing, Kevin suggested we do the El Cap layback.

Great, thought I. Probably some desperate 10d, hard to place gear, nowhere to rest.....

"No!", said Kevin. "We go down to the Meadows and lay back and look at El Cap!"

Fine by me.

From left to right, Gerry DeMaio, John Kaandorp and Kevin Lawlor

One of my favourite pictures ever, this photo is enlarged to poster-size, and hangs in my front hallway.