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sed
May 1, 2007, 9:06 PM
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I'm bored here at work so I thought I would start a contest on the best troll. 24 hours from this post I as the only judge willl declare the winner. Remember, a good troll should be inflammatory and be the most likely to elicit responses. Reply to this post with your best 1-3 sentence troll. Here's some examples to get you thinking:
Troll #1: Why is trad so much better than sport?
Troll #2: Why can't black people climb?
Troll #3: The three reasons I think bouldering is lame .....
Give it your best shot. Winner receives the right to call him or herself "King Troll"
S
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thomasribiere
May 1, 2007, 9:08 PM
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You are bored, definitely. But do you know what a troll is? You can't ask for a troll. You will be trolled before you know it.
(This post was edited by thomasribiere on May 1, 2007, 9:09 PM)
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Proto
May 1, 2007, 9:10 PM
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how about "the troll contest" nOOb
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hiyapokey
May 1, 2007, 10:00 PM
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Is the size of the largest cam you own inversely propertional to your ....? If so do only women carry valley giants?
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sed
May 2, 2007, 4:18 AM
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funny one hiya.
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elnero
May 2, 2007, 4:30 PM
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Can I get some of those carabiners at the hardware store? Or do I need to go to a climbing store to find them? Also, what size shoe should I buy? I've only been climbing for a week or two but I can send sick V9s and the blue and purple routes, so I think I should get something really aggressive.
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moose_droppings
May 2, 2007, 5:08 PM
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Some jerkwads say its fine to bolt up a route next to a crack so when we climbed it instead of belaying we just clove hitched to two biners on each bolt incase we fell but then some were to far apart so we just chipped some holds inbetween what do you think is this a redpoint and what shoes go best with our harnesses we didn't use any gear what kind
no comments from any commie gheys either cause we will kick your arses.
Hows that?
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sed
May 2, 2007, 8:04 PM
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I'm extending this another 24 hours due to slow initial response. Get your trolls in people, have a sense of humor.
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uhoh
May 2, 2007, 9:40 PM
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sed wrote: I'm bored here at work so I thought I would start a contest on the best troll. 24 hours from this post I as the only judge willl declare the winner. Remember, a good troll should be inflammatory and be the most likely to elicit responses. Reply to this post with your best 1-3 sentence troll. Here's some examples to get you thinking: Troll #1: Why is trad so much better than sport? Troll #2: Why can't black people climb? Troll #3: The three reasons I think bouldering is lame ..... Give it your best shot. Winner receives the right to call him or herself "King Troll" S
Ropes are just pacifiers for people too afraid to boulder.
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suzie_cuzie
May 2, 2007, 10:36 PM
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This is a waste of time. We all know the King Troll is the_leech. If there's any doubt as to this, I recommend review of his threads 'Cull the n00bs' and 'Why Women Climb'.
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sed
May 2, 2007, 11:07 PM
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then let the leech submit. Or is he afraid of a little competition?
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alpinismo_flujo
May 2, 2007, 11:55 PM
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Why do all RC.com climbers waste so much time posting (nonsense) here instead of actually climbing? At least Supertopo.com has real climbers posting real shit (and they f'n climb hard too). 
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bbentley77
May 3, 2007, 1:46 AM
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sed wrote: I'm bored here at work so I thought I would start a contest on the best troll. 24 hours from this post I as the only judge willl declare the winner. Remember, a good troll should be inflammatory and be the most likely to elicit responses. Reply to this post with your best 1-3 sentence troll. Here's some examples to get you thinking: Troll #1: Why is trad so much better than sport? Troll #2: Why can't black people climb? Troll #3: The three reasons I think bouldering is lame ..... Give it your best shot. Winner receives the right to call him or herself "King Troll" S
You know.... a good troll takes thought, planning, and delicate creativity. Now why would someone waste their time to construct something only to blow it by saying “this is only a troll” on the first post? Even though, by judging of some of these retarded, clueless characters we have on RC.com, it might even work in this very thread, sending them into a slanderous outrage. But for the most part, it makes no sense and it wouldn't even be funny. What makes it funny is the people with no sense, coming along and plowing through the mine field, which is clearly marked (in small writing), making themselves look like a complete jackass. Now if you have any good trolls, I say don't waste them here as you'll never know if they could have sprouted into something beautiful, something worth admiration and recognition for such a piece of creative artwork. Post it here and it'll only be a "what if?”, leaving you infinitely without closure, which sadly may very well be... more pain than one can bear…
(This post was edited by bbentley77 on May 3, 2007, 1:59 AM)
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wonder1978
May 3, 2007, 1:57 AM
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medicus wrote: alpinismo_flujo wrote: Why do all RC.com climbers waste so much time posting (nonsense) here instead of actually climbing? At least Supertopo.com has real climbers posting real shit (and they f'n climb hard too). Worst troll attempt I've seen.
hmmm, might have pulled the plug on this one a bit quick, I think it could have caught
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nooyoozer
May 3, 2007, 2:10 AM
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THIS JUST IN:
The more posts you have on this site, the bigger a loser you are...
I'm just telling you what I heard...
go climbing
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sed
May 3, 2007, 3:50 AM
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I guess you guys are right, I'm wasting my time trying to find creative humor in this dark and dank website of wannabees. Even those few with a smidgeon of promise at being King Troll would rather save the glory for themselves and watch perfectly good people thrash themselves ranting about nothing.
bla bla bla bla
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joshy8200
May 3, 2007, 3:56 AM
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If your climbing on a route. It has bolts in it. Can I still onsight the route even though you can see wear the line goes because of chalk on the route? What about if someone has taken repeated falls on the bolts? Aren't their sometype of microfractures in the bolt or rock? I'm also a nube and need to know how to fit and what type of shoes I should get? I also just plan to top-rope so I can just use a static rope right?
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superbum
May 3, 2007, 7:07 AM
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"Women are bad climbers."
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alpinismo_flujo
May 3, 2007, 2:55 PM
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medicus wrote: alpinismo_flujo wrote: Why do all RC.com climbers waste so much time posting (nonsense) here instead of actually climbing? At least Supertopo.com has real climbers posting real shit (and they f'n climb hard too). Worst troll attempt I've seen.
Thanks - but thought sed was the one and only judge...?
Oh well - RC.comers are alright with me. Was just trying to start some shit 
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medicus
May 3, 2007, 3:03 PM
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He is the only judge, but I just wanted to make sure I voiced my opinion. 
Plus I had to reply to that somehow.
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alpinismo_flujo
May 3, 2007, 3:34 PM
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I could have salvaged it by attacking him more  - but bored anyways...need to go climbing.
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medicus
May 3, 2007, 3:51 PM
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Yeah same here... unfortunately school is sucking away from my climbing time. But after finals, I'll be able to enjoy life again.
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the_leech
May 3, 2007, 4:41 PM
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j_ung wrote: suzie_cuzie wrote: This is a waste of time. We all know the King Troll is the_leech. If there's any doubt as to this, I recommend review of his threads 'Cull the n00bs' and 'Why Women Climb'. Second that.
Thank you. I'm flattered!
However, I'm of the opinion that there is a lot of untapped potential in this site. Dingus, jt512, and many others here are great writers with sharp wit. They would be master trollers if they were willing to put forth the effort.
Curt's "foot belay" thread? Absolutely amazing. I'd like to see more work like that. I know my limits. I'll never be able to top that one.
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climb_eng
May 3, 2007, 4:47 PM
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Looks like Dingus followed your advice there.... I think his n00bs killing climbing troll is going to do well over 100 posts when all is done.
I still think in terms of sheer volume of posts, the sliding-x thread is the mother of all trolls. IMHO responses is the only true measure of the quality of a troll. May have been an unintentional, innocent questions but MAAAAN did it mushroom out! Even the spin off threads broke 100 posts!
MY proudest acomplishment is the "I hate your dog" thread, that one had legs!
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nashvegas
May 3, 2007, 5:23 PM
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Perhaps you can reinvent yourself as the TROLL HUNTER!
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sed
May 3, 2007, 9:27 PM
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Ok it's been 48 hours, or close enough. After the pathetic responses I've made a decision. While all posts were appreciated, some were poor efforts, such as elnero, moose droppings, and uhoh. The second place award (I guess that makes you Queen Troll goes to Nooyoozer: "The more posts you have on this site, the bigger a loser you are..."
But the King Troll award must go to Alpinismo flujo, who's post : "Why do all RC.com climbers waste so much time posting (nonsense) here instead of actually climbing? At least Supertopo.com has real climbers posting real shit (and they f'n climb hard too). " was clearly above and beyond the rest, both an insult and a call to respond. Good work King Troll. Use your powers wisely, troll often and I think we will hear from you in the future.
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alpinismo_flujo
May 3, 2007, 11:19 PM
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HaHa! I just logged on to post that YOU...SED are the King Troll. Your post got us to try and be trolls....I think you fooled us all.
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oldrnotboldr
May 4, 2007, 4:56 PM
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Is a fig 8 something really new? Doesn't seem like people talk much about them. Can I use my fig 8 for belaying?
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alpinismo_flujo
May 4, 2007, 5:13 PM
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WTF? I don't know if I should laugh or what...I've read alot spiteful things on this site but NEVER anyone going after someone's Mom! 
I suppose the only answer is: Freezorburn your mom can't say "hi" because her mouth is full right now...
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freezorburn
May 4, 2007, 5:34 PM
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Tushay
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Proto
May 4, 2007, 7:34 PM
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jakedatc wrote: Proto wrote: how about "the troll contest" nOOb says the one with 20 posts and 2 months of registered use
yea because i have had 2 months of registered use makes me a noob. were not talking about ablitity to type as much shit as possible and having your rc account for 8 years.
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alexmac
May 4, 2007, 7:38 PM
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jakedatc wrote: Proto wrote: how about "the troll contest" nOOb says the one with 20 posts and 2 months of registered use
Proto's feet never leaves the ground all his bouldering makes him and expert ;)
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nooyoozer
May 5, 2007, 7:57 PM
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queen troll! faaantastic....
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stymingersfink
May 6, 2007, 7:44 PM
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climb_eng wrote: ... MY proudest acomplishment is the "I hate your dog" thread, that one had legs!
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Proto
May 10, 2007, 9:58 PM
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alexmac wrote: jakedatc wrote: Proto wrote: how about "the troll contest" nOOb says the one with 20 posts and 2 months of registered use Proto's feet never leaves the ground all his bouldering makes him and expert ;)
yea, what do you do, climb 5.7 trad and talk shit cause you think you had and "experience".
Dont talk shit if you dont know who you are talking shit to.
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alexmac
May 10, 2007, 10:01 PM
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Proto wrote: alexmac wrote: jakedatc wrote: Proto wrote: how about "the troll contest" nOOb says the one with 20 posts and 2 months of registered use Proto's feet never leaves the ground all his bouldering makes him and expert ;) yea, what do you do, climb 5.7 trad and talk shit cause you think you had and "experience". Dont talk shit if you dont know who you are talking shit to.
I caught one! got myself one on a troll ... :)
Bah, when you trad speak up, when you got to leave that crash pad behind :)
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richardvg03
May 11, 2007, 12:22 AM
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sed wrote: I'm bored here at work so I thought I would start a contest on the best troll. 24 hours from this post I as the only judge willl declare the winner. Remember, a good troll should be inflammatory and be the most likely to elicit responses. Reply to this post with your best 1-3 sentence troll. Here's some examples to get you thinking: Troll #1: Why is trad so much better than sport? Troll #2: Why can't black people climb? Troll #3: The three reasons I think bouldering is lame ..... Give it your best shot. Winner receives the right to call him or herself "King Troll" S
1. TRAD climbing is MUCH better than sport cause it's... TRAD dude! It's like RAD... but with an additional...T!
2. Black people can't climb because... well... they're... black... duh!
3. and of course... the three reasons I think bouldering is lame is because
1. um... where are the ropes... REAL CLIMBING involves ropes...
2. WOW! you can climb a boulder... try a cliff you panzy!
3. bouldering is lame because i don't get to use my home depot rack on a boulder...
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Proto
May 11, 2007, 9:51 PM
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alexmac wrote: Proto wrote: alexmac wrote: jakedatc wrote: Proto wrote: how about "the troll contest" nOOb says the one with 20 posts and 2 months of registered use Proto's feet never leaves the ground all his bouldering makes him and expert ;) yea, what do you do, climb 5.7 trad and talk shit cause you think you had and "experience". Dont talk shit if you dont know who you are talking shit to. I caught one! got myself one on a troll ... :) Bah, when you trad speak up, when you got to leave that crash pad behind :)
what are you talking about? did you go to school in the south or something?
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rocknice2
May 11, 2007, 9:59 PM
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Proto wrote: alexmac wrote: Proto wrote: alexmac wrote: jakedatc wrote: Proto wrote: how about "the troll contest" nOOb says the one with 20 posts and 2 months of registered use Proto's feet never leaves the ground all his bouldering makes him and expert ;) yea, what do you do, climb 5.7 trad and talk shit cause you think you had and "experience". Dont talk shit if you dont know who you are talking shit to. I caught one! got myself one on a troll ... :) Bah, when you trad speak up, when you got to leave that crash pad behind :) what are you talking about? did you go to school in the south or something?
No he's just excited to get a nibble
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hornboy101
May 11, 2007, 10:58 PM
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Single best troll I have seen lately... believe it was part of the "how do I get sponsored" flame fest.. that kept me so amused for so so long.
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tb69hikeclimb
May 12, 2007, 12:21 AM
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How come climbers from the west coast always add one or two grades to their routes? East coast 5.9 equals west coast 5.11 ?
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climbsomething
May 12, 2007, 1:35 AM
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sed wrote: At least Supertopo.com has real climbers posting real shit (and they f'n climb hard too).
*wheezes and tries to swallow peanuts without choking*
Remember than really cold day in 83 when we climbed Double Cross at The Tree with nuthin but 3 hand-tied hexes, a bag of chiba, and our own massive balls scrapin' the tops of our tube socks? And that day we cranked at Woodson with (drop name here, here and definitely here; bonus points if the climber is legendary and no longer with us or if you have speckly slide scans to insert). Man those were the DAYZ. Y'all n00bs who like to use the phrase "at my school" were just shittin' yeller in front of Mister Rogers back then.
Hey... hey! Who moved my whiskey? And my teeth?
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reno
May 12, 2007, 2:48 AM
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My vote goes to Camhead for his "Who's fault if the knot gets stuck?" thread.
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mince
May 12, 2007, 4:05 AM
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Please say that is not you, or is staged, or that duche cratered shortly after. Either way that would have caught me, nice.
WTF : is that drill from home-depot or what?
(This post was edited by mince on May 12, 2007, 4:21 AM)
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curt
May 12, 2007, 4:25 AM
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mince wrote: Please say that is not you, or is staged, or that duche cratered shortly after...
No, that's not jt512; that's his mentor.
Curt
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jt512
May 12, 2007, 4:28 AM
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mince wrote: Please say that is not you, or is staged, or that duche cratered shortly after. Either way that would have caught me, nice.
It's neither me in the pic nor was I the photographer; however, the photo was not staged. I was present for both the bolting of the route (aptly named Russian Roulette) and for the First Ascent by annak.
Jay
(This post was edited by jt512 on May 12, 2007, 4:31 AM)
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caughtinside
May 12, 2007, 4:29 AM
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curt wrote: mince wrote: Please say that is not you, or is staged, or that duche cratered shortly after... No, that's not jt512; that's his mentor. Curt
good stuff.
the foot belay and the handcrack bolt job were a couple classics.
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jt512
May 12, 2007, 4:30 AM
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curt wrote: mince wrote: Please say that is not you, or is staged, or that duche cratered shortly after... No, that's not jt512; that's his mentor. Curt
Well, as my "mentor" would say, "HAHAHAHAHAHA."
Jay
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caughtinside
May 12, 2007, 4:31 AM
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That dude is a trip.
is his hate mail still being forwarded to you?
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climbsomething
May 12, 2007, 5:19 AM
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mince wrote: Please say that is not you, or is staged, or that duche cratered shortly after. Either way that would have caught me, nice. WTF : is that drill from home-depot or what?
But I DO envy Jay's possession of this fail-proof (clearly not "fool-proof") photo. Gets 'em EVERY SINGLE TIME. See?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*zzzzzzzbuzzabuzzabuzzachukkachukkaZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* "RAAAAAAAWWWWKKK!"
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mince
May 12, 2007, 5:41 AM
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What a damn shame; and what a non-trad climbing, bleached blonde, gay porn star looking, non-crack climbing, rap bolting, CUM RECEPTACLE. I hope those bolts have been chopped be now.
yes i bit hard, and am still fighting.
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climbsomething
May 12, 2007, 5:56 AM
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mince wrote: What a damn shame; and what a non-trad climbing, bleached blonde, gay porn star looking, non-crack climbing, rap bolting, CUM RECEPTACLE. I hope those bolts have been chopped be now. yes i bit hard, and am still fighting.
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mince
May 12, 2007, 6:02 AM
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so he chips holds also (just in a different way that most), either way he bolts cracks and chips rock, great, what a guy, or girl or transexual, or whatever. the hair makes it complicated.
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stymingersfink
May 14, 2007, 12:31 AM
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not just an honorable mention, it's still collecting comments. that's a damn fine troll, and all from a photo at that!
in at least one instance, jt512 has risen, if only for a moment, to the level of the_leech and curt in the ability to troll.
i think he even got me in the original thread of that one. not that this was an entirely difficult thing to do, given the extreme offensiveness of the photo when taken at face value.
there's always a back story though, isn't there?
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