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mimiclimber
Oct 29, 2004, 4:14 PM
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Who does, has or would share their tent with a person of the opposite sex while on a climbing, canoe, backpacking or similar trip? Other than their mate that is, gf and bf aside. Lots of people have opposite-sex friends that they participate in acitivites with. If you do or don't I'd like to hear some opinions.
After years of camping and backcountry travel I've shared my tent/shelter with members of the opposite sex on quite a few occassions. No funny business, just pracitcal sleeping quaters/arrangements. There has never been undertones of naughtyness or anything like that.
It has been recently pointed out to me by someone who is not very outdoorsy that it appears to be inappropriate. Perhaps it's a 'cultural' thing - outdoor culture that is.
Anyway I was hoping to get the point of view from some other outdoor-types and see if my view is skewed or if I'm so culturally immersed that I failed to see that there may be another way to see it.
Thanks for your replies
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risos
Oct 29, 2004, 4:19 PM
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yes I have... and well i think that the inapropriate thing would be to tell her.. no you cant, sleep outside....
I think the bad thing is that someone thinks that because you sleep next to them you are going to do something naughty....
maybe they would if they do you never know....
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tchamber
Oct 29, 2004, 4:19 PM
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It's really not that big of a deal
Now off to community with this thread! (in other words, what the hell did this really have to do with rockclimbing?)
edited to say sorry to the original poster, I did not realize this was your first post. There is a community forum where most non climbing related issues are discussed for future reference.
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jimlas
Oct 29, 2004, 4:19 PM
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hi....good question. i love the outdoors, in any type of activity, but i personally wouldnt feel comfertable sleeping, even if it is just sleeping, with a guy. i usually dont like going anywhere where it would just be me and some guy that i know, too much temptation for me, so i like sticiking it out with larger grps, and then sleep in tents with girls. thats just me though, i dont look down on anyone or think it inappropriate if both parties dont care. remember, you cant please everyone. :D
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nirvana
Oct 29, 2004, 4:23 PM
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What's inappropriate about it? That you might have sex with whoever's in the tent with you? Who cares?
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chanceboarder
Oct 29, 2004, 4:29 PM
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i do it a lot. my closest friends are of the opposite sex and we often share a tent when we go camping, climbing, backpacking or what ever. nothing ever happens unless the two people want it to happen. a lot of the time by the end of a long day of climbing or what ever you just want to lay down and go to sleep and you have no energey for any of the naughty stuff. what if something does happen? is that so wrong? i don't see the big deal with it personally.
cheers,
jason
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caughtinside
Oct 29, 2004, 4:34 PM
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It happens, no biggie. WHy pitch 2 tents?
Here's a good story. I have a small 2 person tent. There were three of us, two dudes and a woman, who may just happen to be a high profile member of this site. heh heh.
ANyway, she bravely volunteered to keep the situation ungay, and slept in between the fellas. Thanks Kri..I mean, high profile mystery woman! 8^) We were just sardines in a can.
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granite_grrl
Oct 29, 2004, 4:35 PM
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I feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping in a small area with any one that I don't know (male or female). But I've done it before, and I'll do it again, and despite my thoughts in advance of sleeping next to someone who I don't know well, at the end of the day I fall asleep pretty quickly and don't give it a second thought.
Guys I know well, sure, I'd share a tent with any of them. Mummy sleeping bags aren't the best for hanky panky anyways.
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alderak
Oct 29, 2004, 4:37 PM
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carrying a second tent would be a major waste of energy.
I agree - nothing happens unless both want it to happen... and your probably too tired for that anyway.
Shareing a tent with a stranger might not be the wisest thing - but if your friends already it shouldn't be a big deal.
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needtolearnhowtoclimb
Oct 29, 2004, 4:44 PM
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It is not a big deal to sleep in the same tent as someone of he opposite gender. whoever told you that ibviously is either homosexual, or isnt an outdoors person. unless you have a husband or wife i dont really see where his argument is. And carrying a second tent is just lame. you could use that space for something useful, like food or alcohol. i personally rarely use a tent unless its already raining/snowing, but other then that its just open space for this brother.
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taino
Oct 29, 2004, 4:45 PM
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*snort* It's no big deal. I've done it, and won't hesitate to do it again. With a complete stranger, I might be hesitant - but would probably still offer; with someone I've met before, I have no qualms. Just because two people of the opposite sex share a tent, doesn't mean they'll be dancing the horizontal mambo.
Your not-so-outdoorsy friend needs to let go of preconceived notions.
T
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crimpandgo
Oct 29, 2004, 4:51 PM
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My tent is 10' x 12'. Two people can sleep in there and not know the other person even exists (unless they snore, hehee)
I prefer to have my tent to myself, but if I share I would prefer the opposite sex. It just seems more natural. I think its pretty easy to keep it platonic and comfortable for all involved. If you are out camping, you are probably already pretty comfortable with each other. The sleeping part shouldn't be that hard to figure out.
As for people thinking it innapropriate (for a girl to sleep with a guy I am assuming), that's just personal opinion...
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fixednut
Oct 29, 2004, 4:51 PM
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I've shared a very small tent with a Frenchman - on more than one occasion. Trust me, the rest of you have nothing to worry about.
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greyicewater
Oct 29, 2004, 4:54 PM
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yeah, i have. actually i'd prefer the opposite sex. i just like to hang out with girls, i think that they're more fun. non-sexual fun, that is. well... both. but i'm talking about non-sexual fun... i'm going to go now...
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mimiclimber
Oct 29, 2004, 5:03 PM
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Lets say you did have husband/wife, gf/bf. should it matter any more if you are open with your partner about it and knows the people involved? No secrets. I mean it's still just crashing space right? I don't equate a tent with a bed which is what my city type friends are saying. It 's equipment... cold? here wear my jacket I'm not using it. Need to make soup? Use my stove it's on. Need a place to sleep? lots of space in my 3 man tent, crash out. Backcountry travel and expeditions have made this attidute second nature to me regardless of the persons sex.
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nurocks
Oct 29, 2004, 5:10 PM
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In reply to: *snort* It's no big deal. I've done it, and won't hesitate to do it again. With a complete stranger, I might be hesitant - but would probably still offer; with someone I've met before, I have no qualms. T
Then why did you give me some strange looks when I did that very thing at the rumney gathering...She and I just shared a tent.
( name/s have been omited to protect someone whom I still don't know that well)
since you can't detect sarcams well this way...I am partially poking fun..don't take me too seriously.
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crimpandgo
Oct 29, 2004, 5:11 PM
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In reply to: Lets say you did have husband/wife, gf/bf. should it matter any more if you are open with your partner about it and knows the people involved? No secrets. I mean it's still just crashing space right? I don't equate a tent with a bed which is what my city type friends are saying. It 's equipment... cold? here wear my jacket I'm not using it. Need to make soup? Use my stove it's on. Need a place to sleep? lots of space in my 3 man tent, crash out. Backcountry travel and expeditions have made this attidute second nature to me regardless of the persons sex.
You have changed the picture now. If you have a bf/gf or husband/wife you must think about their feelings too. If everyones ok with the situation, then a problem does not exist.
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taino
Oct 29, 2004, 5:14 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: *snort* It's no big deal. I've done it, and won't hesitate to do it again. With a complete stranger, I might be hesitant - but would probably still offer; with someone I've met before, I have no qualms. T Then why did you give me some strange looks when I did that very thing at the rumney gathering...She and I just shared a tent. ( name/s have been omited to protect someone whom I still don't know that well) since you can't detect sarcams well this way...I am partially poking fun..don't take me too seriously.
I'm not - and frankly, I didn't even know you did until the following morning, seeing as how I crashed way earlier than either of you. And then, I was just poking fun at you. :P
T
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maculated
Oct 29, 2004, 5:14 PM
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Cool, I'm bucking norms. CaughtInside may feel like he broke my "smashed between two guys in a tent" virginity, but unfortunately no. The best one was backpacking and it started to hail, all we had was tarp, so of course, me in the middle, guys on either side.
Isn't that always how it is?
Of course, if it's just you and one dude, and you want it to happen, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.
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caughtinside
Oct 29, 2004, 5:17 PM
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In reply to: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.
I know exactly what you mean. :P
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usmc_2tothetop
Oct 29, 2004, 5:25 PM
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Is this person that disagrees with you a mormon from Utah or something. Sleeping with the other sex is not a big deal. You do what ya gotta do when your camping. I mean I wouldn't try any thing but if the other "party" wants to get naughty....well then you have twisted my arm.
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markc
Oct 29, 2004, 6:35 PM
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For me it's just a cost/benefit analysis. Do I want to lug around two tents just because the person I'm camping with is of the opposite sex/gay/a space alien? No. I'm not single, not looking for any complications in my relationship, and I think people can control themselves. If I trust someone enough to belay me, I trust them enough not to hump my leg in the middle of the night (without permission).
I would have no qualms about sharing a hotel room with someone of the opposite sex. I would have no qualms about sharing a bed with someone of the opposite sex as long as my wife was comfortable with it. I have shared a bed with gay friends on trips. It's no big deal.
I would be comfortable with my wife sharing a tent/hotel room/bed with the vast majority of our friends, male or female. We're adults. Why carry around an extra tent or spend money on an extra hotel room when you don't have to?
mark
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couchwarrior
Oct 29, 2004, 6:43 PM
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In reply to: After years of camping and backcountry travel I've shared my tent/shelter with members of the opposite sex on quite a few occassions. No funny business, just pracitcal sleeping quaters/arrangements. There has never been undertones of naughtyness or anything like that.
Quite a few occasions and not a single undertone of naughtiness? What, are you British?
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kimmyt
Oct 29, 2004, 6:59 PM
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I can't seem to share a tent with someone without there being undertones of naughtiness. Of course, I only share tents with people I am physically attracted to.
Now, having said that, the occasion has never come up in which I have had to share a tent with someone I'm not interested in. (all camping I've done is of the car-camping variety, no backcountry stuff at all where you actually need to pack everything in). I'm sure if the situation was warranted, then there would be no 'hanky-panky'. I guess I just like my space, and like to be able to throw my body around my tent without worrying about brushing up against someone's morning wood and also not having to worry about whether or not he thinks I'm interested because of the accidental brush.
I don't care what other people do, and I don't naturally assume that if they share a tent with each other, that crazy stuff goes on. Unless I hear stranges noises in the night, and then...ummm....who gives a f***? We're not living in the 50s people. Sex between 2 consenting adults is nothing to be ashamed about.
K.
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zozo
Oct 29, 2004, 7:06 PM
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I know everytime I share a tent with someone of the opposite gender we always end up having sex all night long. This is a real problem cuz in the morning I wake up and realize it was all just a big dream.......wait ....where am I?
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