jgloporto wrote:
dlintz wrote:
Is your sauce recipe a family secret? I'm interested.
d.
Nah. No secret. Just back breaking labor. We usually make the sauce so that you can pour it into a pot and season it or add to it depending on what your making. Here's the recipe:
Start with 6 bushels of tomatos
Clean and quarter a few thousand tomatos making sure to cut off the white part where the stem was. If you miss one, your grandmother will hit you with a wooden spoon so big that only Thor could have used it.
Fill a few dozen giant pots with the raw tomatos, add enough water so that its filled to within an inch of the top (but pack those pots with tomatos.).
Boil the tomatos until you have a stew like consistency. You may need to periodically add more water. If you don't, you get the spoon again plus a resounding "Cornuto!"
Burn the shit out of you fingers laddeling that stew through a grinder. Each pot will probably have to be run through the grinder twice. Have your grandmother standing by to yell at you that you're not grinding fast enough.
When that's done, add two diced onions, a handful of fresh basil and a couple of whole cloves of garlic and simmer the sauce for about an hour. Have your grandmother burn your tongue and lips a few times taste testing the sauce while she says "Itsa beautiful, right?" You then yell "Mincchia!!!!" to which your grandmother replies "Disgratziato!!!" If the sauce is too bitter (which is just a function of the tomatos) add a table spoon of sugar. Let it simmer for a few minutes and try it again. If it's still bitter, add another tablespoon of sugar and keep doing that until it tastes "justa right."
Next boil mason jars for about two or three minutes so they get really hot and then burn the shit out of your hands lining up the mason jars.
Next burn the shit out of your hands by laddling the sauce into mason jars and put on heat seal lids (those two piece lids). You might burn your hands a little putting the lids on. Then feel shame when your grandmother is able to further tighten the lids without even a wince from the scorching burning pain.
Line up all of the jars on a table and cover them with a blanket so they heat seal.
Finally, ice hands and drink three or four bottles of wine until the burning and throbbing stops.
This recipe should yield about 200 bottles of sauce. It should take about 12 hours from start to finish. You can break in the middle for some fresh eggplant or some merluzza with lemon and olive oil and a can of luke warm Pathmark brand "Cola."
Next week we make the wine. That's the family secret and even I don't know what the secret recipe is (though I suspect its terpentine!)
