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boss
Jul 28, 2004, 1:28 AM
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Try the BRAT diet. Bananas, Rice, Apples, and Toast. Should plug you up fairly well and prevent any unnecessary dropping off of kids in a clear mountain pool.
Boss
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unabonger
Jul 28, 2004, 7:43 PM
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You don't want to plug it. You want to get it out as easily as possible and according to your own schedule. Mornings work best for most people. HAs anyone mentioned coffee yet? That's sarcastic, folks.
Here are some tips:
Yoga helps with digestive processes. Twisting poses especially. Drink lots of water. Helps lubricate the passageways and eases the consistancy. If everything is working optimally, you should not be pushing. It should just fall out like a sort of chocolate hail. Pushing isn't healthy, and if you are dehydrated, can lead to anal fissures.
Enough of this sh*t, let's go climbing.
UB
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the_pirate
Jul 28, 2004, 8:27 PM
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There is an adult bookstore in Chinatown that sells the plugs you seek.
Or so I've been told.
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mmindtrap
Jul 29, 2004, 7:54 PM
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2 tablespoons of mineral oil before you go to bed will help things move in the morning. No pushing needed.
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cin
Jul 29, 2004, 8:36 PM
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Me and my brown eye have a good working relationship.
If I have stuff to do he knows what he has to do.
But if he gets outta line (constipation b4 the big wall)
I have some Imodium AD just in case.
I'll take a double dose about 20 minutes b4 I gear up.
That keeps him in line.
NOW I gotta dune... Thanks a lot!
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mother_sheep
Jul 29, 2004, 8:40 PM
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In reply to: 2 tablespoons of mineral oil before you go to bed will help things move in the morning. No pushing needed.
Not only will that make me poo but it will also make me puke!! My parents forced me to take that and/or cod liver oil as a child. OMG. . .just thinking about it. . .seriously. . .hurl. . .hurl.
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glowering
Jul 29, 2004, 8:59 PM
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I'm regular at about 7AM, the problem is when I start that multipitch at 6AM. :cry:
Luckily I drink coffee, you can prob find out the laxative ingredients from coffee and take them in a pill if need be.
So we're at Lovers Leap not long ago. My buddy is wrestling with a lifesize Gary Coleman in his bowels all morning. He finally thinks it's time and goes into the bushes just off the approach trail. Just as he relaxes some climbers approach, he waits for them to pass, but they decide that's a good place to drop their packs and rest and look at the wall. One of the guy's looks over a my bud squatting with his ass in the wind. All he can do is say "hi".
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dirtineye
Jul 29, 2004, 10:09 PM
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Tracy, just sew a zipper into your pants from front to back, pack two large industrial strength garbage bags and a roll of TP up the climb with you, and when the urge hits, clip in to a couple of good pieces, shout, "Take!", unzip, and cut loose in the bag. When you're finished, double bag it and pack it on up.
What a butt shot that would make!
And remember, that zipper could have other benefits.
Just don't wear those pants when doing your famous keg stands, unless you add a layer of protetcive duct tape-- a zipper could be mighty tempting to your audience.
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mlog
Jul 29, 2004, 10:46 PM
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Okay, here are my $0.02.
Go to your local Asian store/supermarket and buy some "Slim Tea". It exists in many shapes and forms, so you may need to experiment with several to find out which one works best for you.
Make a cup of that tea every day and let it sit and cool off until the evening. Drink it before bed or a bit earlier. Approximately 10-12 hours later you will be happily getting rid of the contents of your stomach, and shortly after that it will be empty and you'll feel great. Just time it so it happens before your approach/climb. This is actually a healthy way to take care of constipation and control your number 2 schedule. If you drink this stuff twice a day instead of once, you are likely to loose weight. One cup of tea a day will keep your weight as-is, but will also prevent you from gaining much even if you eat a lot of crap.
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coylec
Jul 29, 2004, 11:44 PM
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Registered: Jul 12, 2003
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Get It Out:
Cigarettes
Coffee
Fig Newtons (night before)
Keep It In:
MREs
Cheese
Immodium AD
Bananas
Rice
Apples
Toast
Woven Wheats & Cheese
coylec
... when in doubt, sh!t it out ...
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kman
Aug 2, 2004, 1:33 AM
Post #62 of 68
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Hmmm MRE's eh. I am quite intrigued by these MRE' s you all speak of. So they plug you up eh. For days you say? Do they give you stomach cramps or anything? Do they sit well in the tummy? Where can I get them from in Canada?
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uncasid
Aug 2, 2004, 2:04 AM
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Kman
Go to ebay. You want the true military versions. There are a lot of fakes on ebay... here is a site that will help you determine which are which.
http://www.mreinfo.com/buying-mres.html
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the_antoon
Aug 2, 2004, 4:35 AM
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looking at them makes you want to throw up, but they really don't taste that bad...until that's all you have to eat for months on end. :roll:
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climbersoze
Aug 2, 2004, 9:02 PM
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In reply to: As I recall the cheese and crackers that came with MRE's would keep you from snapping one off for days. We used to swear that the army put something in it for that purpose. It's not expensive to find out if it still works.
Just about everything in an MRE will stop you from handlin your business. If you want to make sure you get a good one in the morning - you have a ton of suggestions. I personally go the coffee and cigarette route. One cup, two smokes (NewportLights really seem to do the trick for some reason) and its go time.
If you want to stop it up, try taking the immodium like someone mentioned. Also, high protein and high fiber will keep your poo solid and less likely to jump out at the wrong moment. And its easier to pack out.
For packing out the nasties, I use airline barf bags. I keep a few of them in my sh*t kit in case I can't dig my requisite 3 inch deep cathole. Just make sure you put the barf bags in a ziploc, then in another bigger ziploc, and in one more big freezer bag just for sh*ts and giggles.
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orangekyak
Aug 22, 2004, 3:29 AM
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hehe what a great thread ... the list of crags I've defiled is almost as long as the list of crags I've climbed. I'm still worried that karma exists, because I might just reincarnate as a lizard at T-Wall looking at a white yankee ass making brownies on a crisp December morning.
I subscribe to two of the previous suggestions. First, of course, is coffee. Learn to love it black, because when you're camping it's a lot easier to get quality black coffee than it is to get a Caramel Macchiatto or whatever. Black coffee also cuts to the chase. Sometimes the mere sniff of coffee scent in the air gets me laybacking a beech trunk and diggin a cat hole at its base.
Second, and most important, is the two-poop method pioneered by that wacky Americanuck "Hoppinbig." He mentioned it back on the first page of this thread. Make a batch early, then lighten the load once more before you start your climb. Once you have this system down, you'll use your double-dump method to justify that extra #3 camalot you've been carrying without using.
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no-brakes
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Aug 22, 2004, 4:02 AM
Post #68 of 68
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Maybe it's coincidence, but reading a post on going poop has suddenly made me need to go... Thanks!
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