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oopps
Mar 29, 2006, 12:08 PM
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I started thinking this when I read the "Femininity and Sports" thread, but did not want to hijack, so I figured I'd start another thread.
I've always been a tomboy. At school I was always into sports, played on a different team ever season, loved PE, ect. I went hiking and camping from a very young age and so was never freaked out by bugs, spiders, snakes and the like. I didn't (and still don't) mind getting dirty. For a while, I took pride in being more "macho" than most guys; I still take it as a compliment when a boy tells me I have more balls than he does. Growing up without any real female influence, I never really out grew this stage.
Sometimes now I'll look at the girly-girls and I honestly wish that I could be like that - sometimes I just want to feel like a girl. I don't own a skirt or any vaguely girly clothes, and to be honest I would feel embarrassed buying any (I doubt I would know what to get anyway). I don't wear make-up, because I don't know how to put it on. But mostly, I don't see any way to keep doing what I love, climbing, camping and playing sports, and still occasionally get to be feminine.
So what I was hoping for was some advice from the more feminine of you out there ( I know there have to be some of you on this site) about how you mange to climb and still be feminine - is there anyway to have both? And also, though this may sound kinda stupid, for those of you who didn't have older sisters/mothers/ect how did you learn to be a girl (put make-up on and do your hair and similar) - I feel like I should intuitively know this stuff, but I don't.
Sorry if this has been long, boring or confusing - I just really didn't know how to word this. Thank you for any help.
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kasharp
Mar 29, 2006, 2:48 PM
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i don't consider myself a "girly-girl" but i do like wearing skirts and playing "dress up" sometimes for no particular reason. but i also don't have a problem getting dirty and camping and stuff... but i don't like bugs, i won't lie.
for me, i'm a girly girl when i'm at home ... not camping, climbing, playing sports, anything like that. i hate girls that wear makeup to the gym, or anything like that. you'll find me generally wearing an old guys t-shirt and shorts when i do physical activity ... i hate seeing girls who walk around in little outfits, but don't do anything! i'll wear a sports bra if it's really hot, but mostly i just try to be comfortable and don't care about "girly" things at that time.
but, after camping and climbing for a few days with several farting, smelly, nasty guys (i don't know why they can't put deoderant on every once in a while) ... i sometimes just want to go home and be as girly as possible. take a long shower, sit in front of the tv and watch "my best friends wedding" (or some other chick flick) and eat chocolate. and usually i'm tired of looking like a bum, so i'll actually do my hair (which is a big task for me - stupid curly hair) and put on some make up and try to look cute if i'm going somewhere. that usually wears off after a day or two, though, haha, and i'm back to not caring that much.
so i don't think it's hard to seperate the two ... wearing skirts when you have the opportunity and your harness other times. just don't be the girl that gets all dolled up to go to the crag and just sits there and won't get a little dirty.
and as far as learning how to put make up on etc., my mom never showed me how to do any of that stuff either, and trust me, the first few times i tried on my own were a bit of a disaster... but my friends steared me in the right direction with all that stuff, though i'm still not that skilled.
probably the best thing to do is go to a place like "sephora" or a department store and ask them for some make up recommendations, and usually they'll show you how to put it on and all that jazz.
good luck :D
and it really is fun being girly sometimes ... but it's also just as fun playing in the mud :lol:
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erisspirit
Mar 29, 2006, 4:53 PM
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For the most Part I am pretty much a tomboy as well...I like climbing, camping, hiking, snowboarding, I own a motorcycle and have taken it to the racetrack. Most my friends think of me as one of the guys. I still however like to be girly... I also just separate the two... both are fun, but in different ways. I dont wear makeup when Im camping or doing sports... thats just plain silly :P but if I go out for a night on the town with friends I will sometimes put on some makeup and a skirt. I even just did a photoshoot with a friend dawning a mini skirt and a load of makeup.
I am still not trendy however... and I will never be. If you want to be more girly, find some girls to go shopping with you. Try on some clothes and get their reactions. If you feel comfortable in a skirt and they say you look awesome in it, then you will most likely start feeling more comfortable about it. You just dont because its a new idea. As for makeup listen to friends... read some articles online... odds are you will never feel completely comfortable decked out in tons of makeup. I still go for the natural look even when I do dress up. The most important thing is don't compromise yourself just to be more girly. Find skirts, cloths, and makeup that still fit your personality. You will never find me running around in a pink dress with spike heels, its just not me.
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climberterp
Mar 29, 2006, 5:22 PM
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I'm not much of a girly girl, but I do think it's fun to be girly every once in a while. Cute clothes and shoes are my weakness when it comes to girly stuff! However, I am still a makeup and hair klutz; mascara is about all I can handle and my hair is always either in barettes or a ponytail to keep it out of my face. My mom was never a makeup and hair kind of person, so I guess I get that from her!
I think it's really fun to be able to be both tomboy and girly as my mood dictates--to go from grungy sweats to a sequined top and everywhere inbetween. So go embrace your inner girly-girl every once in a while! Get a cute little tank top and skirt and learn how to bat your eyelashes just for fun :D Then go out on the rock and crush!
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aimeerose
Mar 29, 2006, 5:29 PM
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Yeah, it would be great if you had some female friends who could help you with the whole makeup and clothes thing. I didn't have sisters and for some reason my mom didn't teach me anything about makeup, but often times even the little package with eyeshadows will tell you how to apply them. Stick with neutral shades to start with- browns for the eyes and light colors for the lips. Personally, I hate mascara. Wish I liked it, but hate the way it feels on my eyes.
As for clothes, you don't need to wear skirts to be girly. I LOVE cute tank tops, especially greeen ones. I seriously have over 15 green tank tops! I also really like sundressess. You don't have to worry about matching them to something, like skirts and they are super comfortable.
But, don't ever lose sight of who you are and don't do it if it's not fun!
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bahandi
Mar 29, 2006, 11:01 PM
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want to be a girly girl without having to change your wardrobe and learn how to put on makeup? find out how guys/men/boys (however you want to classify them) perceive what a girly girl is.
now i'm a male, so this may not mean much to you, but any girl who is not afraid to show me how she feels for me (getting close, spending time), is a girly girl in my books. now, i'm not talking about public displays of affection, nor am i saying act differently than you normally would, just let the guy know he's wanted (not needed, though one could argue that) and i'm sure that's all the girly-ness he may want.
if any of what i said hit a wrong chord, please clarify. i find that most arguments are over semantics. also, to loosely quote Levar Burton (sp?) 'don't take my word for it.' :D
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acacongua
Mar 30, 2006, 1:58 AM
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If you don't have friends that are into shopping and the like, pick up some magazines. I was lucky to have friends who love to shop and someone who is into fashion from a completely artistic perspective. Those friends reformed me. Cultivate those friends because I'm sure once they have a make-over opp, they'll take it.
Just to warn you, it might take a little money.
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granite_grrl
Mar 30, 2006, 5:07 AM
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In reply to: Sometimes now I'll look at the girly-girls and I honestly wish that I could be like that - sometimes I just want to feel like a girl.
I feel like that whenever I'm around my sisters. I'm like, wow, why can't I wear that much makeup, or that much jewlery. But honestly, I'm not sure if I'd feel comfortable in my own skin if I did.
I think that you probably want to feel more feminine than anything else, you're probably plenty feminine in your own way (confident, sexy, pretty, etc). You might start by buying a single skirt. Something like a jean skirt, or something else very simple that you can wear like a pair of jeans. I only own a couple pairs of shorts, in the summer I mostly wear skirts, I really do find them more comfortable. Or buy a single dress that you feel pretty in and wear it around town. But also keep in mind that there are some very functional sporty tops that are flattering/pretty/sexy, or whatever it is that you're looking for. I beleive that feminine and stinky dirt bag can co-exist at the same time.
As for hair, makeup, etc. I know that my mother never showed me a bloody thing. Buy some simple things like a tube of lipstick and eyeliner....this is pretty much all I own actually, and they're not that hard to put on.
But in the end you've gotta be yourself, and dress up and wear makeup because you want to have fun with yourself, not because you want to be perceived as a more feminine person.
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nola_angie
Mar 30, 2006, 11:45 AM
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I fully admit I can't dress myself for dates. When I lived in NOLA, I would just make a panicked phone call to my friends down the street....
A little thing that helped me with make-up, tho: go to those expensive make-up booths at the mall. Get a pro to do your make-up. Buy a thing of their eye shadow or something, but WATCH EVERYTHING SHE DOES and ASK a lot of questions. Don't be afraid to say "I don't want my foundation put on with a paint brush, I don't like wearing that much goop on my face' or 'please don't put pink lip gloss on me'...but DO respect that this person will know what colors look good on you and, basically, is an expert in something I :oops: ....I mean *you* are not a pro at!!! You can do the same thing with clothing. Just walk into and Express or something and say 'help'. Give the sales ladies a ballpark, tell them you want something that you can mix and match at home, and let them dress you up. I wound up with a great outfit for my 10 year reunion like this!!!
Be true to yourself. If you want to keep your girly girl options open, then do it. But if it's not you, then don't.
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tamtam
Mar 30, 2006, 4:48 PM
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nola_angie's advice is spot-on.
I went to the Macy's Lancome section, and the lady did like an hour-long makeup thing with me. She asked first what I wanted, and I said "a natural look. And easy and quick." She helped me pick colors, showed me how to put it on, tried different looks, etc., until both she and I agreed that I looked pretty darned good, and I felt comfortable with it.
People like her usually seem to enjoy "giving a make-over," but she is also trying to sell you a lot of expensive makeup. I did end up buying some stuff, and it was like $75. But since I only wear make up maybe a half dozen times a year, it has lasted me a decade.
Same thing goes for fancy dress shops. Like angie said, don't get caught up in the clothes / makeup themselves. Really pay attention to what the saleswoman is doing, the advice she gives, etc. Then you can take that information and use it to find affordable clothes that still look nice.
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oopps
Apr 3, 2006, 10:37 AM
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Thanks to everyone for responding. It's also nice to know that I'm not the only one who sometimes wants to be girly.
One of my friends occasionally does my make-up so I asked her to explain what she was doing - she laughed her head off but agreed to try and explain. (I would try the going to a store and asking route, except a)There isn't really a Japanese equivalent of these stores and b) Even if there was, my Japanese probably isn't good enough for that kind of conversation - But thank you for the suggestion nola_angie and tamtam)
Like a lot of you have said, I probably wont ever be comfortable in girly gear - but that doesn't mean I can't have fun trying it.
Thanks again for the help.
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clee03m
Apr 3, 2006, 1:48 PM
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For make up, there are books with detailed instructions on how to apply. They start from skin care to base to eyes, etc. Find one that breaks up make up with what brand and color to buy followed up with step by step instructions. Even in Japan, you should be able to get them. And Shisheido has great make up, so you will be able to get them at a domestic price.
I think for outfits, sometimes it is less daunting to just get the entire oufit on display than to try to put something together yourself. And having one or two outfits that you really feel feminine in is all you need.
Are you feeling the need to be feminine because you are in Japan? I'm Korean-American, and when ever I am in Korea, I feel like all the girls are perfectly made up with super trendy outfits. And they wiegh 10 lbs each!
Good luck
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aimeerose
Apr 4, 2006, 5:35 PM
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Oh, also, to feel more girly, I always wear earings. I have found small hoops are the greatest. You can wear them and you don't even know they are there. There are "huggy" style hoop that click together and are super convienent.
Also, you could try wearing skorts. So, it's like wearing shorts, but you have a skirt over the top. Seems like a good transition between shorts and skirts. I love them, cause I can wear a skirt, but still sit "indian style" if I want.
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mindaa
Apr 4, 2006, 10:29 PM
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In addition to going to the makeup counter, you might treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure & facial. It feels good to be pampered and pretty!
You could look for a local beauty college that offers these services (at a bargain price), so then it won't feel like you're sacrificing gear for girly stuff. :wink:
Oops, I just read some more, this might be also be a challenge given you're in Japan.
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livvy
Apr 26, 2006, 5:03 PM
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In reply to: And also, though this may sound kinda stupid, for those of you who didn't have older sisters/mothers/ect how did you learn to be a girl (put make-up on and do your hair and similar) - I feel like I should intuitively know this stuff, but I don't.
This is a very not-stupid question, all of this stuff is learned and as someone who didn't have a sister (but felt the makeup urges) it was hard to figure out where to go with that.
A few things that I did that may or may not be useful to you:
1) As others have said, go to a department store's makeup section, but I would add to find a woman at a makeup counter who is wearing 'the amount of makeup you might want to wear' or 'looks like you might want to look' and ask her to do your makeup. She'll do it at the counter using her products for free and you can ask a million questions (be brave) about how she is applying things. Take notes about what works and doesn't. Don't buy anything right then. Do this a few times.
2) Copy people's clothes, hair etc. When you see someone you think looks great walking down the street, notice her clothes and hair and then try those things on at the clothing store or at your hair stylist. If you see someone with a face somewhat like yours and a good cut, stop them and ask them where they get their hair cut. As someone with short mod hair I get stopped occasionally for that question and it is SUPER flattering so you aren't bothering the woman by stopping them.
3) As you copy you'll start to decide what works for you and start making your own style choices.
Finally - of course, all of this is if the motivation to be girly is coming from inside of you. If you don't want to be girly, but feel pressure to be girly, screw them all and don't dump the tons of money into hair and clothes and makeup. I enjoy dumping my money into those things like a hobby - similar to someone buying strange knick knacks - but I keep in mind that it is just that - ornamentation. It's not necessary and it doesnt' define me.
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nola_angie
Apr 27, 2006, 3:17 AM
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In reply to: Finally - of course, all of this is if the motivation to be girly is coming from inside of you. If you don't want to be girly, but feel pressure to be girly, screw them all and don't dump the tons of money into hair and clothes and makeup. I enjoy dumping my money into those things like a hobby - similar to someone buying strange knick knacks - but I keep in mind that it is just that - ornamentation. It's not necessary and it doesnt' define me.
AMEN! well said. if I had a trophy....
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spunkyredraider
May 19, 2006, 1:25 AM
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My mom only wears mascara and I think I've seen her in a skirt once maybe twice. When I was in dance I had to have the teacher or the other girls do my make up. I finally asked one of them how to do it myself and it took alot of practice (I worked on it a year before I was comfortable going out in public when I had done my make up). I still don't usually wear it. When I started climbing, my girliness started to decrease even more because mostly guys climb at school with me. I joined a sorority and that taught me how to be more girly, but it helped that the sorority I joined were the athletic sorority girls.
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crazyclimbergirl
May 22, 2006, 9:17 PM
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You know, I've always been a mutt of tomboy and girly girl. I don't know many girls who wear min skirts to auto shop and changed into grungy jeans to work on her car in high school. I think it's an appropriate balance of the two. There are lots of clothing companies that sre now making outdoor clothing that's also "way cute & girlie". I love prana and patagoins, their stuff is so comfortable and stylish. And as far as makeup goes, I rarely wear it anymore, but I still feel girly. It might be worth it to get your makeup done at a place at the mall and buy a few essentials, eye shadow, mascara, lip glossm and some eye liner. Everyone and a while I wake up and put some on just to feel girly. I think slowly incorporating a few girly things like a necklace or a hair scarf will add a little bit of girly without being too much.
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rockstar7
May 24, 2006, 8:57 PM
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I think there are a lot of girls that feel the same way as you do. For me, I am a hairstylist, so I have always lived kind of in 2 separate worlds: Fashion and beauty industry and the tomboyish rockclimber chick lifestyle. I don't like wear makeup to climb or anything, but here is some advice that may help ease you into feeling a little more feminine.
1> Lip Gloss instead of chapstick
2> Going shopping with your gut feeling. The last thing you want to do is buy a bunch of stuff that you won't wear. Try one thing at a time.
3> Have fun and when people tell you something looks good, accept the compliment.
4> If you still want to keep a natural look, Aveda is really good at not overdoing it. Try an Aveda salon and they do free makeup applications plus their makeup is vegan and usually has sunscreen in it.
Good luck!
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dayspringgirl
Jun 13, 2006, 9:30 PM
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alexis_86
Jun 14, 2006, 6:11 AM
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About the skill in apply make up thing. It took me a good three years before I could apply make up without ending up with a bozo the clown result. Even now, the only things I'm confident of applying are eye color, mascara, rouge and lip gloss. I still prefer being dirty and sweaty, although if I'm dirty and sweaty in cute climbing pants or a cute jersey, I don't mind that either.
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Jun 19, 2006, 3:44 PM
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Ya know, I pretty much have decided that it's all about how I feel rather than how I look. I detest shopping of any sort (hence the bare shelves in my kitchen and the out of date wardrobe) and I don't wear make up; luckily, I do have curly hair, so I can get away with not fixing it (I don't even own a hair dryer or hair brush.) That said, however, I do have my staples of girliness: my earrings (just little ones, but they are my concession to jewelry; my skorts (mentioned earlier and for the same reasons!) and my toenails. The toenails are always painted, and if the top coat is that sparkly glitter stuff, then you can make it right at two weeks without having to redo the nails... Something about the glitter that keeps the climbing shoes from rubbing off all the polish...)
Hanging out with the guys, getting dirty, climbing trees and rocks and playing outside are all a small part of truly living. Be yourself, have fun, and make sure you're wanting to be girlie for yourself, not for anyone else. As long as you're true to yourself and your relationships (platonic and romantic alike) then you'll be perfectly girly.
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granite_grrl
Jun 19, 2006, 7:03 PM
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Something I realized looking at this thread....there are all these suggestions on how to feel more girly. Some say wear skirts, others say to wear lip gloss, still another says she likes to paint her toe nails. But its not the same for everyone.
If there's one thing to learn from this thread is that many girls who climb and get banged up and filthy from their climbing they still consider themselves feminine and a little girly. Find out what makes you feel nice or pretty, do it and enjoy it because everyones different.
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librik
Jun 21, 2006, 4:11 PM
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From somebody who tries to be very feminine in her appearance :)
1) I have to say that I completely agree that being girly is not about the looks at all, it's ALL in the attitude.
2) For me, a big thing about girlyness in physical aspect is as simple as hygiene. (barring backpacking trips :)
3) If you are one of those girls with great complexion, fresh skin and bright coloration, you DON'T NEED MAKEUP. In any event, start small, figure out what you need the most. Say, for me, it's eyebrow shadows, my eyebrows just stop in the middle, looks very funky. It can be foundation, it can be mascara (by the way, I swear by Maybelinne, you know, the one in a pink tube, it's cheap and awesome, much better than expensive ones), stick with one or two things, there's no reason to wear it all.
4) If you want jewelry, that's great, I think two most easy-never-get-in-your-way pieces are a) necklace and b) if you ears are pierced, earrings. With necklaces, i think that the ones made of natural materials (hemp, leather) look great, if that's your thing
5) I personally think that when it comes to clothes, only one piece is important determinant of girliness: shoes. And I don't mean spiky ones, but when you can, wear athletic shoes that are nice and small in appearance, and that are not dirty or falling apart. If you have small feet, that's great, pretty much everything would look good on you. I have huge feet, so I really have to shop around, and even then my feet never look pretty.
5) But, again, it's not about clothes or makeup, it's about attitude.
What do you girls (and guys) think about this?
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mookmook
Jul 23, 2006, 11:16 PM
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in terms of picking out "girly clothes" I don't think anyone can really give you too much advice besides maybe what looks good on you. But if you want to have some sort of a style and feel comfortable in it, you really have to pick it yourself. and if you think all of it looks stupid and you can't rock it confidently, then fuck it. Guys prefer girls in tshirts anyways. it's fact.
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dayspringgirl
Jul 24, 2006, 2:09 PM
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isn't this forum thing a place to voice your opinion wether or not everybody agrees or not? i am new to this and just posted some advice on the girly thing - totally just my opinion and i had poop thrown at my post. :shock: and you don't know who throws it. :cry: i quickly took my words off the page and wondered why is this? i am very girly and so what if i wished i could have been more like the girls that were able to do sports and physical stuff, and who cares if i carry lipgloss in my chalk bag?? wow, i am such a nerd with this stuff. maybe ~who cares that someone threw poop at me. i don't know. just a thought - sorry it is out of line with the girly advice (is this what you call hijacking a thread? :? )- i feel the poop flying at me now..... :shock:
i like to be girly, and maybe my advice sucks, but i do like to climb and camp and backpack. i have found that a little girly-ness goes a long way. i think most people feel more comfortable just being friendly and confident, i just like to add lipgloss and mascara.
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forthesunrise
Aug 18, 2006, 2:18 PM
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i grew up the same way- with mostly older male influences. sports and being outside, camping, hiking, building forts, getting into trouble, that was my entire childhood. i'd have to say i didn't really start to want to be girly until college.
as far as clothes go- all it took for me were some skirts (i went with the more casual hippy style - you can find them everywhere now- and i think they're pretty and far from presumptuous. theyre fun you know?) some simple tank tops. instead of crazy girl shoes i opted for platform flipflops in the summer and some cute boots in the winter. you have to find something you like or you just wont wear it.
girls are cleaner than guys... :wink: my hygiene is improved in the sense that my hair and skin products and better now and my legs/armpits/(whatever you think you need to shave) are shaved all the time. i definitely feel more girly.
however one thing to realize is that people are going to treat you differently if you seem more 'girly'. guys treat me more like a girl but they know i am still up to all the fun outdoor activities i've always done. to sum it up, they seem to want to 'help' me more when i'm doing stuff, but you can always refuse if you don't want to seem like too much of a "girl". its best to stick with people who will respect you as you are anyway you know?
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crazygirl
Aug 18, 2006, 7:34 PM
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In reply to: ISometimes now I'll look at the girly-girls and I honestly wish that I could be like that - sometimes I just want to feel like a girl. I don't own a skirt or any vaguely girly clothes, and to be honest I would feel embarrassed buying any (I doubt I would know what to get anyway). I don't wear make-up, because I don't know how to put it on. But mostly, I don't see any way to keep doing what I love, climbing, camping and playing sports, and still occasionally get to be feminine. So what I was hoping for was some advice from the more feminine of you out there ( I know there have to be some of you on this site) about how you mange to climb and still be feminine - is there anyway to have both? And also, though this may sound kinda stupid, for those of you who didn't have older sisters/mothers/ect how did you learn to be a girl (put make-up on and do your hair and similar) - I feel like I should intuitively know this stuff, but I don't.
by no means am i an expert on being girly, but this is what i think.
Dressing up is all occasion-related. Next time you go to a dressy event, wear a dress instead of slacks. there is no need to wear tons of makeup- that look is outdated, anyway.
"But mostly, I don't see any way to keep doing what I love, climbing, camping and playing sports, and still occasionally get to be feminine."
- surely, you get to go out and do other things, go out to dinner, movie, social events?
Get a makeover (i've never had one myself, but who knows it might be fun). You can probably find a local salon that does it. But then again, you might hate it, and then you'll know not to change your look.
I'm not advocating girly vs non-girly. Until I was 20, i did not wear a skirt.
Have an image that you are comfortable with. Change it as often as you like, its supposed to be fun.
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winter
Aug 18, 2006, 10:08 PM
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Very girly outdoorsey girl checking in.
I have every colour of makeup you can buy, I own more skirts than pants, I have as many pairs of high heels as I do regular shoes. I hike backcountry in a short skirt always (not skort).
Background: I used to be super anti-girl. Anti makeup, anti shopping (except thrift store and mec) all that stuff. Always hangin with the boys, always priding myself on how little I cared about how I looked, then one day I don't know what happened, I had a girly 180. I realised I did not want to be one of those androgynous outdoors women. The kind who always wear quick dry pants and hiking shoes with a wicking t-shirt. Yuck.
Now I am get super glammed up at night, and am still my dirty old self when out in the mountains.
Ok, here are some tips to get you started.
1) Skin. How is it? A little red/blotchy/windburned/tanned (this is me)?
Do not get thick foundation, get tinted moisterizer. MAC makes a good one. Slap it on all over your face every morning. If your skin is really nice, leave it alone.
2) Lipgloss: Find a neutral lipgloss. Anything shiny. Just put it on whenever you remember. Slightly pink works on basically everyone. Doesn't have to be expensive.
3)Blush. Get a big brush and a very pale pink or peach kind (again, get help from saleslady). Pinch o' peach by MAC works on virtually anyone. Apply very sparingly from your hairline on the apples of your cheeks. If they are already super pink, skip this.
3) Eyes. Get a pale shimmery shadow, something close to your skin tone, something with very little colour (beige or something). (vanilla pigment from MAC is perfect for this) Put this from your lashes to your eyebrows. Must be shimmery. You can use small brush (get real hair brushes or skip them) or your fingers. Apply sparingly. It should just be highlighting your eyes.
Mascara: I would just put it on at night (the mabelline kind in the pink tube). If you are fair get a neutral brown or bronze for during the day, or skip it.
4) Get a haircut. If it's long get some layers or bangs or something. At least if you have bangs a pony tail looks less done. Luckily messy pony tails are super in. Put it up then mess up the top part (at the back/top of your head) with your fingers. King of pull the hairs half out of the elastic.
Look in magazines. If your hair is mousy die it darker or lighter. Do something with it.
5)Jewlery. This is very important. Putting on a pair of dangly earings instantly glams you up. Go to town.
6)Clothes. Outdoors clothes are for OUTDOORS. Do not wear your hiking shoes as your daily wear, no quick dry/wicking. Yikes. Wear some trendy cute runners or get some heels. Yes. Get some trendy jeans and a few tops. Even a thin cotton t-shirt with a funky silk screen is super in.
Good luck!!!
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lewisiarediviva
Aug 22, 2006, 4:46 AM
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Well, maybe I can throw in some red tape.
I've often worn heels, since sixth grade. I've worn the mini skirts, the make up, florescent sheer scarves in my hair, polka dots, make up, curls in my hair, flashy earrings, plaid stockings- you name it and I've probably been close. (Yes, I said florescent.)
But I never "knew" anything.
Most of the things I found girlie girl I didn't wear, like ribbons and lace on my formals, mouse in my hair.
Know after 35 years, I can say that the real trick has nothing to do with what you look like you are-
Think about it. How many times have you found yourself cut off because you didn't hear about the sale. You don't understand why she is so excited about the 50's dress she found with the purse to match AND IS ACTUALLY DISCUSSING IT.
How many times do you find yourself out with your friends and suddenly you are the only girl talking with the guys.
It's not what you wear, it's what you are comfortable talking about.
(One idea is to go to a spa, kind of spendy but this works, and speak with the experts confidently- they love teaching us. Believe it or not, this is a great place to learn that they don't despise us as well. In fact they love the chance to ask us questions they can't ask their friends. I have one spa girl who always has to tell me about her latest camping trip- because I am part of the reason she became brave enough to go with out a shower for a day.)
Am I totally off base?
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tavs
Aug 23, 2006, 6:45 PM
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In reply to: I realised I did not want to be one of those androgynous outdoors women. The kind who always wear quick dry pants and hiking shoes with a wicking t-shirt. Yuck. 6)Clothes. Outdoors clothes are for OUTDOORS. Do not wear your hiking shoes as your daily wear, no quick dry/wicking. Yikes. Wear some trendy cute runners or get some heels. Yes. Get some trendy jeans and a few tops. Even a thin cotton t-shirt with a funky silk screen is super in.
"Yuck"? "Yikes"? Crap--does this mean, after my hike this afternoon, I have to go home and change into something trendy before I go to class tonight?
For the most part, the tone of this thread has been encouraging--wear what you're comfortable in, here are some small changes, being feminine isn't about what you wear but how you feel, etc. I know you were trying to offer some concrete suggestions, but the idea coming across to me is that a woman is somehow unfeminine ("androgynous" to use your term) if she doesn''t fit your mold. I beg to differ--it's all about what YOU feel comfortable in.
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lewisiarediviva
Aug 23, 2006, 10:49 PM
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In reply to: -- but the idea coming across to me is that a woman is somehow unfeminine ("androgynous" to use your term) if she doesn''t fit your mold. I beg to differ--it's all about what YOU feel comfortable in.
I totally agree. The important thing is is that we don't have to fit a social requirement, and we don't have to be men to avoid that social requirement.
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wa_hoo
Aug 26, 2006, 12:17 PM
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I thought I was the only one with no clue about make-up and girly stuff since my mom never taught me anything. What a cool thread.
But on to ideas. I totally agree with all the ideas about getting help for the make-up. I've found the mall gals are a little too heavy on the make-up for my style. I've had better luck at a specialty store (I like Aveda) or at a spa. I think it's worth one indulgence in a facial/makeover to ask tons of questions and get good advice and good products.
Also - do what feels right. If you want the full make-up stuff - go for it. If you want subtle, but feminine - do that. It has to fit you and your inner style as someone else said.
I have found, as I've discovered and nurtured my girly-girl side recently, that I don't want really flowery, lacy stuff, but that there are many great options for femininity with texture, color, softness, jewelry, and now I'm even getting into the shoes. I'm fussy about my shoes being comfortable - try Nordstroms for incredible shoe choices.
Most of all have fun and listen to your inner girly girl - she knows what you are really seeking!
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winter
Aug 28, 2006, 3:41 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: I realised I did not want to be one of those androgynous outdoors women. The kind who always wear quick dry pants and hiking shoes with a wicking t-shirt. Yuck. 6)Clothes. Outdoors clothes are for OUTDOORS. Do not wear your hiking shoes as your daily wear, no quick dry/wicking. Yikes. Wear some trendy cute runners or get some heels. Yes. Get some trendy jeans and a few tops. Even a thin cotton t-shirt with a funky silk screen is super in. "Yuck"? "Yikes"? Crap--does this mean, after my hike this afternoon, I have to go home and change into something trendy before I go to class tonight? For the most part, the tone of this thread has been encouraging--wear what you're comfortable in, here are some small changes, being feminine isn't about what you wear but how you feel, etc. I know you were trying to offer some concrete suggestions, but the idea coming across to me is that a woman is somehow unfeminine ("androgynous" to use your term) if she doesn''t fit your mold. I beg to differ--it's all about what YOU feel comfortable in.
It has nothing to do with 'my' mold, it's just how things are. I certainly wasn't suggesting that she wears things that she feels uncomfortable in, not would anyone. Quick dry pants and hiking shoes are not flattering on anyone, boys or girls. She asked for advice on how to be more girly, wearing the same clothes to hike in and to go out in the evening is not the way to do it. You certainly don't have to wear flowers and lace to be feminine (again yuck) but a cute pair of jeans and t-shirt goes a long way, or anything that is not designed for sport specifically. That is hardly a 'mold' it's just getting away from clothes that are meant for practicality. She already knows how to dress outdoorsey, she is asking for advice on how to do something a little different.
You're feeling just like I used to that "it shouldn't matter, everything looks nice on everyone". That is just simply not true, and naive to boot.
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tavs
Aug 28, 2006, 8:27 PM
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No, what I'm "feeling" is that what looks nice and/or feminine is subjective. And that we're definitely not going to see eye-to-eye on this one, because I have no interest in telling someone they have to wear X to look, be, or feel feminine. The mold you're representing may not be just YOUR mold, but it is also just ONE mold. My mold happens to be that I wear what I'm comfortable in on any given day for any given event--which means sometimes I go to class in a skirt and tank, and sometimes I go to class in my climbing pants and a capilene top....either way, I don't feel any like any less of a female. And at this stage in my life, to have someone suggest that my wardrobe choices are naive is highly entertaining.
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winter
Aug 28, 2006, 8:56 PM
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You're missing the point entirely, she asked for ideas on things that might make her feel more girly, she has stated that her current 'style' does not make her feel feminine. So in her opinion, her current outdoorsey/tomboy clothes don't make her feel super girly. That' not my opinion, it's that of the OP. I don't think that she has to dress a certain way to feel feminine, absolutely not, but she asked for suggestions, so I gave some. The point is not that you think she should feel feminine no matter what she wears, the point is she does not in her current routine.
And I don't care, a trendy capilene tank and some well fitting cropped climbing pants is way more cute than ill fiting quick dry zip off pants and a baggy old t-shirt. One may feel just as feminine in both, but guaranteed the cute tank looks better, and that's what the OP was asking for.
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tavs
Sep 1, 2006, 3:45 PM
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I can't believe I've actually allowed myself to be dragged into an internet back-and-forth, but here's one last point. You missed the point of my original response to you, which was that you DIDN'T MERELY offer suggestions, you did so with a tone and with language that suggested that anyone who didn't follow those guidelines was being unfeminine (androgynous was YOUR word). That's what I took issue with, and that's what I still find to be unnecessary.
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crazygirl
Sep 1, 2006, 4:37 PM
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don't forget an equally important way of being girly:
ask guys to do things for you. anything, really. stand near the door until they get the message and open it for you. get them to open cans, wine bottles, get you a drink (i don't mean get them to pay for it, just get them to bring it to you).
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clausti
Sep 4, 2006, 3:02 AM
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fun ways to feel girly:
-shave. take a long time doing it. buy shaving lotion, and a three blade razor with fun moisture strips, if you dont use one. shave... whatever you feel like. confession: i always shave my stomach because i think it glistens sexily when i work out.
- lotion, yay lotion! after shaving, put on gobs of moisturizing lotion.
add clean sheets, or pants that are not jeans [i.e. any kind off smooth fabric pants] and viola! much yummyness.
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htotsu
Sep 4, 2006, 4:09 AM
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In reply to: And at this stage in my life, to have someone suggest that my wardrobe choices are naive is highly entertaining.
Sigh. Where is the love? Where is the looo-ooo-ooove?
First, Tavs, it is clear that what she was referring to as naive is the notion that "it shouldn't matter, everything looks nice on everyone." Not "your wardrobe choices." Maybe that's not your notion, but it is the notion she was talking about.
And the OP did ask for suggestions. Now, yes, Winter did write hers as something of a "to do" list. But I don't think anyone could honestly think she considers her list to be mandatory, or the only way to appear feminine, just because she didn't expressly write "One option is to..." before every suggestion. I read it as her just being excited to share what has worked for her.
As for the androgynous comment, it seems evident enough that she was referring to a common interpretation of "not stereotypically feminine." By definition, an androgynous appearance can be ascribed to someone of either gender. The clothes she described fit that description.
Winter, perhaps your choice of "yuck" is the cause of Tav's tone in her replies. Even if it's how you feel about that look for yourself, it is certainly understandable for someone else to take offense if that "yucky" style is how she chooses to dress when not necessarily doing outdoor activities. Not everyone values dressing up, and not everyone devalues dressing down.
Clausti, you're on to something with the lotion thang. I dig the nice scented ones because there are a million kinds to choose from (I don't love florals but do love food - vanilla, coconut, ... mmmm), and it's an easy way to do the girl thing since, hey, I was going to use lotion anyway, right? Yummy indeed! :D
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sdkbcassidy
Sep 6, 2006, 2:16 AM
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This thread reminds me of how my boss describes our first encounter to new people. My failed attempt at being a girly-girl. Since we do project-based work, I still hear about this every other week just my luck.
Up until around ’96 we still had to wear matching skirt suits or dresses, panty hose, heels. I friggin’ hated it, hated it, hated it. The story gets exaggerated as time goes on, but my boss basically describes our first meeting as me walking up to him in a great red dress, fancy heels – only the way that I was walking was like how a 3-year old wobbles while playing dress-up with heels. It’s pretty funny to watch him re-enact it, still makes me laugh every time. A word of advice – never work for a Welshman unless you’ve got a really thick skin.
Since ’96, the ban on pant suits and heels has been lifted, and I haven’t worn a skirt, dress or heels since (unless forced to as a member of a bridal party and then I wobble my way down the aisle). But, the things that I’ve found I do like on the feminine side:
- painted toenails
- simple, artist-designed necklaces
- cute tops
- a bit of eyeshadow (try something like Revlon eyeglide, hard to get it wrong) and lipgloss
- and another vote to the scented lotions
But, being comfortable w/ what I’m wearing comes first and foremost.
- Deb
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oopps
Sep 10, 2006, 1:04 AM
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I can't believe this thread is still going... yay!
Slowly getting more girly... moving helped, actually, because it mean I could wear make-up and skirts without having everyone remake on how surprised they were by it. I found that make-up didn't work for me (except for on special occasions), just couldn't be bothered each morning to put it on... but my clothes are slowly getting more girly. Two best choices I made were getting my ears per iced and cutting my hair. I LOVE short hair... lower maintenance, actually looks more feminine than my former habitual ponytail and it isn't such a mess after a day under a helmet when kayaking or climbing.
And one secret I've discovered... make-up, skirts, and shaved legs (basically all the trappings of girlyness) are a very nice treat after a few days backcountry getting filthy.
Thank you guys.
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tigerlilly
Nov 8, 2006, 7:08 PM
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You know you're a tomboy when:
For a friend's wedding, you decide put on a skirt for a change, and your 4-year-old cat looks at you like you've just sprouted 6" fangs and slinks off to hide under the bed.
That's a true story and it happened just last summer. I'm relieved to hear I'm not the only tomboy seeking her inner girly-girl. I lost my mother when I was young, and my two older sisters and I were not close until we reached adulthood, so there was little female influence in my formative years. I played keep-away, climbed trees and rode bikes with the neighbor boys. I could care less about make-up and loved it when my father taught me how to use tools and fix stuff around the house. I've been a bike nut for most of my life and have a workshop in the garage that is the envy of most of my male friends.
After college, I ended up in a male-dominated profession, so I felt I couldn't dress feminine and still get respect. I wore skirts for several years, but they were conservative navy pinstriped suits. I changed jobs and the skirts weren't convenient (had to wear a clean-room jumpsuit), so I switched to chinos, but kept the man-tailored blouses. Bike-event t-shirts or sweatshirts were my standard non-work outfits. In order to not get "run-over" buy the guys, I adopted a male-style method of communication. This has been hard to overcome, and I have been told by more than one person that I am intimidating. (I'm really harmless and don't have 6" fangs.)
It wasn't until I got divorced and started thinking about dating that I started to pay attention to how I looked. I've never been into the really foo-foo stuff, but have started looking for trimmer-fit v-neck sweaters instead of bulky crew necks, slim-fit pants instead of pleated chinos and things like that. I discovered tanks and shimmels from the likes of
Brooks, Prana and Mountain Hardware for summer, so can have my performance clothing and still look like a chick at the same time. No more baggy cotton T's! I'd never make it as a model, but for 44, I'm in better-than-average shape. I'm learning to let it show a little, without being trampy.
The one thing I haven't done much with is my hair. I wear it short and layered for wash-and-wear convenience, and it looks boy-ish. I've thought about growing it longer, but every time it gets a little long, I hate the way it looks and get it cut off again. My hair isn't straight and it isn't curly. It gets random waves that I think look dorky and unkempt,
especially when I pull off my helmet. Short, low maintenance hairstyle suggestions are welcome! My ex, and last ex-boyfriend both wished openly that I would let my hair grow long. Can I ever be a girly girl with short hair?
Kathy
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clausti
Nov 8, 2006, 7:22 PM
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In reply to: The one thing I haven't done much with is my hair. I wear it short and layered for wash-and-wear convenience, and it looks boy-ish. I've thought about growing it longer, but every time it gets a little long, I hate the way it looks and get it cut off again. My hair isn't straight and it isn't curly. It gets random waves that I think look dorky and unkempt, especially when I pull off my helmet. Short, low maintenance hairstyle suggestions are welcome! My ex, and last ex-boyfriend both wished openly that I would let my hair grow long. Can I ever be a girly girl with short hair? Kathy
this summer i got all my many-times-dyed hair chopped off for my sister's wedding, to honor her request that my hair match my eyebrows as maid of honor.
I got it done in a little *short* pixie cut, which could be faux-hawked, or bed-headed, or done very profesional looking. takes ten minutes to roll out of bed, shower, slop some sculpting putty in it, and look awesome. really wanna look girly, thow on some dangly earings.
only then i shaved it all off. i dont reccomend that :lol: :lol: :lol:
i'm currently trying to get it back to the pixie.
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lena_chita
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Nov 8, 2006, 7:29 PM
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In reply to: You know you're a tomboy when: For a friend's wedding, you decide put on a skirt for a change, and your 4-year-old cat looks at you like you've just sprouted 6" fangs and slinks off to hide under the bed.
An old thread, but I couldn't let this pass... I realized how RARELY I wear skirts when I had to put on a dress for some special occasion or other, and my then-3.5 yo son said: Mommy, wow, you look like a WOMAN!
Oh well...
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kantkatchme
Nov 9, 2006, 2:49 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: The one thing I haven't done much with is my hair. I wear it short and layered for wash-and-wear convenience, and it looks boy-ish. I've thought about growing it longer, but every time it gets a little long, I hate the way it looks and get it cut off again. My hair isn't straight and it isn't curly. It gets random waves that I think look dorky and unkempt, especially when I pull off my helmet. Short, low maintenance hairstyle suggestions are welcome! My ex, and last ex-boyfriend both wished openly that I would let my hair grow long. Can I ever be a girly girl with short hair? Kathy only then i shaved it all off. i dont reccomend that :lol: :lol: :lol: i'm currently trying to get it back to the pixie.
:lol: i shaved my head 1.5 yr ago. my then current (but not so great) relationship fell apart that day. lol
it was for the best, but most guys dont seem to be able to deal with chick with no hair......
im still trying to grow it out. about every 3 weeks it looks ok and then it looks like shit again. i would go get it cut, or trim it myself. im just afraid that if i do i will cut it all off again.
peace
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jaema
Nov 14, 2006, 5:54 AM
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If you really want my advice on the subject : don't.
Frankly, girly-girls who drool over boys all day, have a hissy fit because they broke a nail, scream bloody murder if there's a spider, and don't participate in gym class because they're afraid of geting muscles and becoming "masculine"... oh and did I mention the hair and makeup?
Frankly, I think it's all BS, if you'll exuse my language. Why can't girls just be ourselves? What's wrong with that? Why do we have to hide behind 2 tonnes of makeup and "volumptuous" hair? I think it's in an effort to impress the boys, but any clear-minded guy (and there's not alot of them) won't care about your fashion or makeup or - whatever!
While I'm at it, dating someone you hardly know makes no sense to me.
Anyhow, you GO girl!
I was in a similar situation at the gym where we were trying some big dynos. Some guy said "I don't have the balls to try that" I said i didn't have any at all, and trided it. (didn't get it; turned out to be impossible)
Girly-girls tick me off, so please don't become one. They generally lack self esteem and modivation.
of course, this is just my oppinion, you can do whatever the heck you want :)
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tigerlilly
Nov 14, 2006, 2:51 PM
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In reply to: Frankly, girly-girls who drool over boys all day, have a hissy fit because they broke a nail, scream bloody murder if there's a spider, and don't participate in gym class because they're afraid of geting muscles and becoming "masculine"... oh and did I mention the hair and makeup?
She said "girly-girl," not Drama Queen! 
I think the challenge is how to be strong and active and participate in sports rather than being a wallflower, without losing our femininity. We want to get out there and play like the guys but not look like them.
Kathy
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jaema
Nov 15, 2006, 3:47 AM
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I'd agree with that, (who wants to look like a guy?!?!) but who says some muscle can't be sexy? I'm not anti-feminist or anything, I just don't think it should stop us from kicking butt. 
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missedyno
Nov 17, 2006, 8:03 AM
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[reply]From somebody who tries to be very feminine in her appearance :)
1) I have to say that I completely agree that being girly is not about the looks at all, it's ALL in the attitude.
2) For me, a big thing about girlyness in physical aspect is as simple as hygiene. (barring backpacking trips :)
3) If you are one of those girls with great complexion, fresh skin and bright coloration, you DON'T NEED MAKEUP. In any event, start small, figure out what you need the most. Say, for me, it's eyebrow shadows, my eyebrows just stop in the middle, looks very funky. It can be foundation, it can be mascara (by the way, I swear by Maybelinne, you know, the one in a pink tube, it's cheap and awesome, much better than expensive ones), stick with one or two things, there's no reason to wear it all.
4) If you want jewelry, that's great, I think two most easy-never-get-in-your-way pieces are a) necklace and b) if you ears are pierced, earrings. With necklaces, i think that the ones made of natural materials (hemp, leather) look great, if that's your thing
5) I personally think that when it comes to clothes, only one piece is important determinant of girliness: shoes. And I don't mean spiky ones, but when you can, wear athletic shoes that are nice and small in appearance, and that are not dirty or falling apart. If you have small feet, that's great, pretty much everything would look good on you. I have huge feet, so I really have to shop around, and even then my feet never look pretty.
5) But, again, it's not about clothes or makeup, it's about attitude.
What do you girls (and guys) think about this?[/reply]
best post i've read in a while!!
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sorryfingers
Nov 18, 2006, 10:27 PM
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I think the traditonal western approach to projecting femininity (the prevading theme of the post: make-up and skirts) is pretty restrictive. My honest belief is that if you feel comfortable and genuinely like how you look in a given style, you project the personality and confidence that other people will percieve as attactive.
That being said, when I get "dolled" up, I usually try to pick one feature (ie: my sweet dreads, the fact that I'm actually wearing eye make-up for once in my life) or item (ie: that spiffy scarf I "borrowed" from my bro) and build my look to complement/emphasize it. I like this plan, because I'm always focusing on something I like and feel good about. It's also a good way to slowly find the style you like.
The rule I do follow is that your clothing must fit! Never too loose but especially never too tight since:
A) you're probably not comfortable (honestly)
B) It takes away focus from what you are trying to emphasize, and just makes people wonder if you didn't look in a mirror before leaving the house.
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acherry
Nov 30, 2006, 9:50 PM
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I used to be anti-girly. But over the last few years I've bought more and more girly clothes, gear, and accessories. For example... my snowboard get-up is super girly. Powder pink and zebra striped bindings etc. Some how I anticipate that a girly exterior makes people think that i must be a joke, or a pretty sad athlete. Whether thats what people think or not I use that thought to motivate me. I love strapping on my pink bindings and shredding! Or putting on my climbing shoes over nicely painted toe nails (hides the dirt that permanently stains my nails since I wear flip flops or crocs for approach shoes), to go send -and down climb- some dude's project. There is nothing in the world that makes me feel more empowered than feeling beautiful/cute and freak'n strong at the same time.
Since I started climbing I've become much more comfortable getting dolled up in a tiny skirt, tank top, and spike heels to go out. I know my body is in shape enough to pull it off, so I'm d@mn well going to use it to my advantage outside of climbing too. From what I can tell men are really impressed when they find out that you can play buff climber chick and super model both within the same day. We have the luxury of much more flexibility with respect to what is appropriate for us to wear in different situations. Go investigate all your options! Read The Devil Wears Prada. Terribly written but it'll insipire you to go buy stilletos.
I have no problem being completely without make up or a shower for extended periods. But I also love being able to rock the sequins and snake skin high heels after a day of climbing and being covered in dirt and chalk.
(This post was edited by acherry on Nov 30, 2006, 9:52 PM)
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neuroticclassy
Dec 4, 2006, 7:19 AM
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Yes for the Maybelline- I am a traditional Jeans-and-T-shirt type because it works! I rarely spend more than 10 bucks a year on makeup and dress up with mascara and lipgloss (uberfair skin is hell to match anything to)- and my boyfriend loves it because he sees me being happy about the low maintenance. Fun elegant jewelry is a must- a boring outfit is ten times better with something really simple and classic. its about how you hold yourself posture wise. Most important for me is use of color- not neccassarily something hot pink (which is downright disturbing on everyone) but fair people look good with jewel tones (think deep powerful blues or greens) and it varies from there. If you know how to pull off the simple elegance theres nothing wrong with a good fitting pair of jeans to feel like a real woman.
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heximp
Dec 21, 2006, 6:30 AM
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Growing up athletic always puts you in a difficult place of defending your womanhood and your physical abilities. I grew up feeling horrible for being both feminine and a tomboy. Why can't I be multi-faceted?
I wonder how this became so defined and categorized.
I think being girly is the act of pampering yourself. It is a way culturing your natural beauty and enjoying how it causes reactions.
I think being an athlete is the love of motion. It is the love of challenging our capabilities and performing.
Both of these are compatible.
I love hot showers and vanilla lotion, wearing red underwear and high heels. I also love climbing a wall for three days, wearing my Dad's polo shirt and smelling like the sardines I had for lunch.
I think when a woman lets herself just be, she will realize that there is no category that should capture us. We are always so much more than expected just waiting for an adventure to discover.
(This post was edited by heximp on Dec 21, 2006, 6:32 AM)
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amikros
Dec 22, 2006, 5:06 AM
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you know, i have the opposite problem :)
I'm pretty girly. I've got stilettos, designer denim, the whole lot. I even feel naked without mascara. And I can tell that people find me less capable because of some stuff like this...but you know, it doesn't matter.
I think you should ask yourself if you are being girly because YOU want to be? or to satisfy someone else?
If it's the latter, don't change yourself for anyone or anything but yourself!
If it's the former, hit the makeup counters and go shopping! Being girly and being an outdoors girl is totally possible! Go ahead and put your polished toes into a climbing shoe, girl!
Like others said, I agree that you should start minimally. (Don't try to force yourself out of your comfort zone or turn into someone you are not! you do not need some ridiculous frilly thing to be a girl!)
Makeup can be tricky, so I would say start with things that are simple and don't need maintenance: mascara, tinted lip balm (Burt's Bees tinted balms are fantastic!), etc.
And for clothes, wear what makes you happy...Forever21 has a LOT of variety, and a lot of it is pretty feminine, so I would recommend their website.
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rockraider715
Dec 28, 2006, 9:08 PM
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Registered: Jun 2, 2006
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Or you could just sit alone at home for an evening with a copy of cosmo, a box of chocolates and sob over Bridget jones diary...
i think this costs less then $10, you could borrow most of it go climb in morning and no one would have to know.
Chicks could do this too.
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