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kasharp
Apr 12, 2006, 2:52 AM
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this might be a dumb question, but really, why do people lie so much?
there are the little "harmless" lies: "does this make me look fat?" "no! of course not!"
are those ok? when I ask questions like that I'm just asking if what I'm wearing look bad? I'm asking because I want an honest opinion, not fishing for a compliment.
but what about the blatant lies? what's the point? is the risk of getting caught worth the consequences?
what about when you give someone every opportunity to tell you the truth?
i feel like it's a lot easier to just be honest and risk being hated for that than to lie and have the person find out the truth and not trust you anymore?
i guess this is bit of a ramble, i just don't understand why people lie so much. it seems like it happens all the time and nobody thinks twice about it anymore. like, we're conditioned to lie because people would rather hear that than the truth.
thoughts? :?:
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curt
Apr 12, 2006, 3:13 AM
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There's just gotta be a really good story behind this thread. :D
Curt
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collegekid
Apr 12, 2006, 3:14 AM
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Believe me, it's better to lie in some circumstances than to tell the truth.
For instance, I am a horrible liar. I tend to say just what's on my mind (if you haven't noticed from my posts), even though sometimes that may not be the best thing to say.
So in some situations, such as social situations (i.e. "Does this make me look fat?" asked by your significant other) it may be better to lie.
Somewhat less obvious, would be in the case of discrimination. You may feel that someone is ugly, fat, or of a race/gender you dislike--however it is obviously in your best interests (especially in an occupation situation) to hide those feelings and be polite to this person. This is more acting than lying, but it's a pretty fuzzy line sometimes.
As to why some people lie blatantly and for no good reason, where the consequences of the lie are worse than the consequences of the fact being lied about--that I am not sure. Some people are habitual liars. Some people are just assholes. Sometimes the risk of the lie seems better than the risk of embarrassment (i.e. president Clinton).
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kasharp
Apr 12, 2006, 3:24 AM
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In reply to: There's just gotta be a really good story behind this thread. :D Curt
haha ... i wish there was a good (and laughable) story behind this. sadly, nothing worth sharing. just been lied to enough by people close to me to be untrusting. and i felt like i've given them every opportunity to be honest, and said, hey it's ok, just tell me the truth cause i'll appreciate that more in the long run.
was just ruminating over some things and thought i'd get some opinions on the matter.
but i do think there is justification in "lying" to people in the context of "do i look fat" etc. or being polite to people you work with, i don't see any reason to be mean to people purposefully. but i think when you're talking to someone who is important to you, being honest is the best way to go. i don't mean be a jerk about it, but just tell the truth.
it just boggles my mind why people aren't more honest.
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curt
Apr 12, 2006, 3:24 AM
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In reply to: ...As to why some people lie blatantly and for no good reason, where the consequences of the lie are worse than the consequences of the fact being lied about--that I am not sure. Some people are habitual liars. Some people are just assholes. Sometimes the risk of the lie seems better than the risk of embarrassment (i.e. president Clinton).
Even Clinton got it wrong, though. If he would have just admitted up-front that he was the regular recipient of BJs from a young intern, and that his behavior was a mistake, he probably would have been forgiven by the country--and perhaps even admired. Instead, his lying caused him to be impeached. I am personally convinced that lying about something is often worse than whatever it is that's being lied about.
Curt
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stymingersfink
Apr 12, 2006, 3:25 AM
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"Do I look fat in this dress?"
"No. You look fat in everything!"
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kasharp
Apr 12, 2006, 3:32 AM
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In reply to: "Do I look fat in this dress?" "No. You look fat in everything!"
classy :lol:
but yea curt, definitely right on the Clinton thing. owning up to stuff is far better...
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kasharp
Apr 12, 2006, 3:36 AM
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creepy side note that i need to freak out about for a minute...
so i'm doing a favor for a guy at work and working the over night shift ... which i hate doing because the janitor creeps me out. apparently runs his own porn site and has told me i look like a movie star before :?
but so tonight he comes in asking for advice on this girl that he's "fallen hard for" and she doesn't know who he is at all, but she wore white pants today with no underwear (i guess this was at his other day job) ... and what should he do to get her off his mind because he can't figure it out.
i felt compelled to put my down jacket on over my white tube top despite the fact that it's probably 75 degrees in here.
creepy creepy creepy! you don't ask a GIRL for advice on that. eek
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curt
Apr 12, 2006, 4:12 AM
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In reply to: creepy side note that i need to freak out about for a minute... so i'm doing a favor for a guy at work and working the over night shift ... which i hate doing because the janitor creeps me out. apparently runs his own porn site and has told me i look like a movie star before :? but so tonight he comes in asking for advice on this girl that he's "fallen hard for" and she doesn't know who he is at all, but she wore white pants today with no underwear (i guess this was at his other day job) ... and what should he do to get her off his mind because he can't figure it out. i felt compelled to put my down jacket on over my white tube top despite the fact that it's probably 75 degrees in here. creepy creepy creepy! you don't ask a GIRL for advice on that. eek
If you are alone in the building with this guy while working the "overnight shift," I suggest you start carrying a small handgun--just so we don't have to read something terrible about you in the newspaper.
Curt
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kasharp
Apr 12, 2006, 4:26 AM
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i think he's just lonely ... and socially awkward
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squierbypetzl
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Apr 12, 2006, 4:37 AM
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Why do people lie? Tough one....
I like being a straight shooter, and I usually consider that the use of tact is for situations where someone is vulnerable (and I donīt want to hurt them) or when a potentially volatile situation requires it. Other than than, I donīt really like excessively sugar coating things.
That said I like to live my life by a few short rules, and near the top of the list is the "donīt make life harder than it already is" rule.
So, at the risk of perhaps being somewhat hipocritical at times, Iīll sometimes tell someone a "little white lie" to avoid having crap rain down on me and complicate my day, especially if itīs one of those things where the other person doesnīt have any control over the situation. If it canīt be fixed, why aggravate things says I?
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curt
Apr 12, 2006, 4:39 AM
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In reply to: i think he's just lonely ... and socially awkward
Charles Manson was kind of that way too.
Curt
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kasharp
Apr 12, 2006, 4:46 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: i think he's just lonely ... and socially awkward Charles Manson was kind of that way too. Curt
point taken.
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kydd76
Apr 12, 2006, 12:16 PM
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You can be very direct with out being rude. This can be a fine line, but some time is less alienating than a lie. I think if dude is as Nuts as you say, he will not be offended by you being truthful and honest about how you feel. I bet he has heard it before.
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dondiego
Apr 12, 2006, 12:34 PM
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Yep, a small handgun would be a nice touch. I like you katie and really don't want to have to go up there and avenge your death or other bad happening. Curt is right on the spot, Ted Bundy, Manson, Dammer, all the freaks just seemed kind of lonely and weird. On a work note, what he is doing is entering into unwanted sexual conversation with you and you can very easily complain about it and he would have to stop or face legal reprocussions.
-DD-
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tradman
Apr 12, 2006, 12:39 PM
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Uh yeah, maybe asking him to stop or complaining to the management might be options worth exploring before you decide to kill him.
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thorne
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Apr 12, 2006, 12:49 PM
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People lie because it's easier than dealing with the consequences of telling the truth. And they lie because they actually believe the will get away with it.
Look at the Clinton situation. Would he have gone on TV and made his "I did not have sex with that woman" speech if he thought he would get caught?
In hindsight, admitting his indiscrections seems like the best choice. But back in January of '98, the idea of a sitting president admitting to getting BJs from a young girl was unimaginable... especially since it would be pretty damning in the Paula Jones suit.
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organic
Apr 12, 2006, 1:39 PM
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In reply to: this might be a dumb question, but really, why do people lie so much? there are the little "harmless" lies: "does this make me look fat?" "no! of course not!" are those ok? when I ask questions like that I'm just asking if what I'm wearing look bad? I'm asking because I want an honest opinion, not fishing for a compliment. but what about the blatant lies? what's the point? is the risk of getting caught worth the consequences? what about when you give someone every opportunity to tell you the truth? i feel like it's a lot easier to just be honest and risk being hated for that than to lie and have the person find out the truth and not trust you anymore? i guess this is bit of a ramble, i just don't understand why people lie so much. it seems like it happens all the time and nobody thinks twice about it anymore. like, we're conditioned to lie because people would rather hear that than the truth. thoughts? :?:
OMG kasharp you can't be serious? I don't even know what to say about this thread it is so pathetic... no offense or would you rather I lie and tell you it will be ok?
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j_ung
Apr 12, 2006, 2:02 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: creepy side note that i need to freak out about for a minute... so i'm doing a favor for a guy at work and working the over night shift ... which i hate doing because the janitor creeps me out. apparently runs his own porn site and has told me i look like a movie star before :? but so tonight he comes in asking for advice on this girl that he's "fallen hard for" and she doesn't know who he is at all, but she wore white pants today with no underwear (i guess this was at his other day job) ... and what should he do to get her off his mind because he can't figure it out. i felt compelled to put my down jacket on over my white tube top despite the fact that it's probably 75 degrees in here. creepy creepy creepy! you don't ask a GIRL for advice on that. eek If you are alone in the building with this guy while working the "overnight shift," I suggest you start carrying a small handgun--just so we don't have to read something terrible about you in the newspaper. Curt
That's unlawful harassment, plainly and simply, open and shut, anyway you look at it. And it's a federal law, so it doesn't matter what state you're in. Tell your boss immediately, before you become a statistic.
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gene723
Apr 12, 2006, 3:33 PM
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hmmm...this is interesting. the topic of the conversation seems to have shifted somewhat to "the creepy, lonely, socially awkward, pornsite managing, janitor guy that is infatuated with some chick" thread.
maybe because it's spring and the mating season makes us all a little weird. I'm sure as the season passes the poor guy will get all normal again.
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coloredchalker
Apr 12, 2006, 3:35 PM
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Well strictly speaking, people simply lie to get what they want, manipulate. If you want to sleep in a comfotable bed et al, you say yes you look good in the dress. You want to save face before 290,000,000 people you say "I didnot have sexual relations with that woman".
While it might be easier most of the time to tell the truth, doing so doesn't always get you what you want or think you need.
Now for a guy thats lonely, awkward and hosts a porn site I'd say do stay away from him and maybe suggest he look into how those three characteristics might be linked togehter.
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justthemaid
Apr 12, 2006, 4:12 PM
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Interesting you should bring this up.
I'm finding that my boss , of all people, seems to be a compulsive liar.
I've worked with him for years, and I really can't understand why he does it. He frequently gets caught. Lately I just call him on it every time I catch him. His reaction is always strict denial that he's done anything wrong.
Example: (ME)- "Hey- so-in-so left a message, they want us to install their job on Tuesday. Did you call them back to confirm the appointment?"
(Boss)- "Yeah, I called them. They're not ready yet. Maybe next week..."
1 day later- customer calls back angry that no one called them to set up an appointment. Boss never made the call :wtf:
This sort of crap happens every day.
I'm completely at a loss on how to deal with someone who will look you in the eye, and answer a direct question with a lie , and later vehemently insist he didn't lie.
I'm starting to think some people might just have a mental disorder of some kind.
Sorry- I'm rambling. I think you hit a nerve.
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dirtineye
Apr 12, 2006, 4:24 PM
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HAHA maidy, your boss sounds pathological.
Is he related to Tommy the Liar?
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justthemaid
Apr 12, 2006, 4:29 PM
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In reply to: HAHA maidy, your boss sounds pathological. Is he related to Tommy the Liar?
Definite possibility.
Sad thing is- he may lose his business, and I suspect this is one of the reasons.
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dirtineye
Apr 12, 2006, 5:05 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: HAHA maidy, your boss sounds pathological. Is he related to Tommy the Liar? Definite possibility. Sad thing is- he may lose his business, and I suspect this is one of the reasons.
Time for you to open "Just The Glassgal".
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