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spunkyjr2
Jul 11, 2006, 9:33 PM
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How many of you guys have had to deal with over protective parents worried about you getting hurt? My mom hardly even likes me talking about it. Any good facts about climbing to make them more comfortable with the sport? My brother was totally against the idea, until one day I finally talked him into going. He loves it now.. :lol:
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climberboy193838
Jul 11, 2006, 9:45 PM
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yeah, the breaking weight dropped on a grigri is like 10,000 pounds. ropes hold just as much. The most dangerous part of climbing is the drive to the gym or crag. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :shock: :shock: :D :D
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climberboy193838
Jul 11, 2006, 9:47 PM
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yeah, the breaking weight dropped on a grigri is like 10,000 pounds. ropes hold just as much. The most dangerous part of climbing is the drive to the gym or crag. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :shock: :shock: :D :D
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billl7
Jul 11, 2006, 9:49 PM
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I'm on the other end: a parent who started climbing and at that time also encouraged one of my sons to start climbing, but with a wife who was, well, freaked about it.
Right off the top the only thing I did that seemed to make any difference was to ask what kind of climbing worried her: indoor, outdoor, bouldering, top rope, follow on sport, follow on trad, lead on sport, lead on trad?
I think this had an effect because it caused her to slow down and think about what it was that bothered her; we were all learning the terms at the time. Also, she worried less when she realized that my son was mostly TR'ing at the gym and she wasn't so worried about him doing that.
Basically I would bring up some variation on that kind of question whenever it seemed like hysteria was taking over - the idea being to start some discussion about safety precautions he and I were taking.
It had no great effect at any one time but at least it stimulated conversation and presented an opportunity where she could learn a little more.
'Course, one of us could still deck one day - I never deny that.
Edit: It's been a couple years since we were "learning the terms"; my wife TR's 5.10s at the gym, my son recently redpointed his first outdoor sport 5.12, and I've been leading moderate trad for about a year.
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c4c
Jul 11, 2006, 9:58 PM
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Just tell them that you could be out doing and/or pushin drugs or something.
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wyrdrocks
Jul 11, 2006, 10:03 PM
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You can try to get them to come to the gym with you one day. Walk them through all the gear, show them what exactly you do step by step. And if you can, torment them by making them try it. I actually got my mom to tie-in, and now she has a certain level of understanding, but she's still freaked by by it.
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mk3vdub
Jul 11, 2006, 10:42 PM
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I couldn't tell you...my dad had me climbing since I was 6 yrs old. :lol:
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anykineclimb
Jul 11, 2006, 10:45 PM
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just don't bother.
I know my mother hates that I climb and am always running around in the mountains. It just sort of became taboo to talk about it. She knows I do it, knows I love it but is scared to death about it. So I just don't talk about it.
There was a site somewhere that showed statistics of youth sport injuries. I think softball or something was number one! Climbing wasn't even on the radar...
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thebuffalo
Jul 11, 2006, 10:56 PM
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I'm usually an aggressive passive reader of rc posts, but this subject is something I want to chirp in about.
What works for my parents, at least for the fear part, is highlighting that you're doing the sport because you love climbing. Some young climbers I've climbed with (thankfully indoors) are reckless, and the recklessness is what makes it fun for them. Tell you parents you are more concerned about safety then they are, because you are the one putting dangling off the edges of rock faces. This worked pretty well for my mother, as well as telling her that I climb with experienced older climbers. I usually leave out the highball bouldering part.
An equally big frustration for me is trying to convince your parents that climbing isn't some 'youth rebellion thing'. My dad tends to think it is, even though most people at my local spot are a decade older than him :D
cheers,
V
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donbcivil
Jul 12, 2006, 12:08 AM
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In reply to: I know my mother hates that I climb and am always running around in the mountains.
I don't get this. You're doing something you love doing and it's not like there are any guaranties in life. People die every day in avoidable traffic accidents and the mountains have to be a healthier place than city streets.
And speaking of health, would she rather you were sitting in front of the TV clogging your arteries up?
I started climbing a couple months ago, when my daughter (nearly 12) got me psyched about climbing an REI climbing wall. I'm 45 and wish I'd discovered climbing years ago.
My wife isn't interested in climbing but knows I'm going to be watching out for the youngin and I've got a very good safety record doing "dangerous" things like shooting, riding motorcycles. Then again, even mundane activities can be dangerous if you're not paying attention to what you're doing...
Good luck!
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renohandjams
Jul 12, 2006, 12:34 AM
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If you find someone your parents respect, or someone who is just as old as your parents who climbs let them know about it. The more popular they see climbing is, the more normal it seems.
Otherwise you seem like you have a death wish to them.
Another option would be to take them climbing in a gym, but that might be hard.
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roshiaitareya
Jul 12, 2006, 1:18 AM
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In reply to: ... shooting, riding motorcycles.
It's not too smart to ride and shoot at the same time. You could get pulled over. On the other hand, it's something I would like to do someday.
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jacobg
Jul 12, 2006, 1:35 AM
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i had to convince my mom aswell, but she finally came around and realized i was out climbing with very safe partners. she also has done some small climbs and is terribly afraid of heights :wink:
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deadhorse
Jul 12, 2006, 1:54 AM
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shooting? shooting heroin? or people? Both seem rather dangerous to me. Well, I guess not shooting people, that's just dangerous for them.
My parents were never too worried because I'm always doing risky things, but they surprised me by just showing up at the crag while I was climbing and I think they understand now more why a. there are such high equipment costs and b. how serious the safety precautions are. my mom did think i was ignoring her though, when i didn't respond to her talking to me while I was belaying!
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deadhorse
Jul 12, 2006, 1:54 AM
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shooting? shooting heroin? or people? Both seem rather dangerous to me. Well, I guess not shooting people, that's just dangerous for them.
My parents were never too worried because I'm always doing risky things, but they surprised me by just showing up at the crag while I was climbing and I think they understand now more why a. there are such high equipment costs and b. how serious the safety precautions are. my mom did think i was ignoring her though, when i didn't respond to her talking to me while I was belaying!
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deadhorse
Jul 12, 2006, 1:54 AM
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shooting? shooting heroin? or people? Both seem rather dangerous to me. Well, I guess not shooting people, that's just dangerous for them.
My parents were never too worried because I'm always doing risky things, but they surprised me by just showing up at the crag while I was climbing and I think they understand now more why a. there are such high equipment costs and b. how serious the safety precautions are. my mom did think i was ignoring her though, when i didn't respond to her talking to me while I was belaying!
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omegaprime
Jul 12, 2006, 2:03 AM
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I sure as hell don't tell my mom anymore.
Sometimes its best to just not talk about it, so she can sleep better if she's not reminded about it.
Ignorance is bliss at times.
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whoa
Jul 12, 2006, 4:27 AM
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I'm all for climbing. And there are irrational parents. But it's not totally unreasonable to worry about the recklessness of boys and young men in an activity where one little inattentive slip can kill them. Everyone is different, and there are 14 year olds I'd trust more than I trust myself, but there's a reason auto insurance rates are high for teen boys.
I have a 12yo who climbs, and he's not old enough to belay me at the local gym, but even if he were (and of course there are no restrictions outside), I wouldn't (and don't) trust him with that task---not because he's a bad kid, but just because the kind of undistractable focus belaying demands, based in a realistic sense of how important it is given an accurate and lively sense of the risks, is not yet in his repetoire. I'm looking forward to the time when it is!
Anyway, the time when I myself started to emerge from the bad-risk pool was about the same time that I started to realize that I was a bad risk, that is wasn't only the other guys who were likely to get in wrecks. So I had to set policies for myself that would protect me from me. Before that time, it was a good thing that my parents were on guard.
And now, dear congregation, please turn to page 37 of your hymnal.
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lena_chita
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Jul 12, 2006, 1:04 PM
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Oh, yeah, I have parents like that! They worry for different reasons-- my Mom b/c she has no idea what climbing is, other than what you see in say, Mission Impossible (2?). Dad is worried b/c he HAS some idea of what is involved-- or rather, what was involved back in the days of sisal ropes and hip belay. He didn't climb much, but his older brother did.
They are not worried about indoor gym climbing, but the outdoor climbing worries them.
I think the argument that my Dad accepted as helpful was: well, if you trusted me to go away at the age of 16yo and live independently and responsibly, why don't you trust my judgement now? (17 years later... in case anyone wanted to know :) ) Do you think I became more reckless now that I have 2 kids of my own, than I was at the age of 16?
Mostly we just agree not to talk about it much though. We don't live in the same city, so it is easy enough... They know when I go on climbing trips, but I don't highlight lead falls and such in conversations with them :)
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ocean
Jul 12, 2006, 1:32 PM
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It could be worse you could be skateboarding, snowboarding, BMX dirt jumping freak of nature. I think when I made the switch over to climbing I lost my mohawk, started hanging out with people with real jobs and my mom said well at least you have a rope or a pad keeping you for hitting the ground. (never been a fan of safty gear like skateboard helmates).
my advice is find an older "parent" climber and have your mom talk to him or her about climbing. AND DON"T LET HER SEE TOUCHING THE VOID!
good luck mate
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svilnit
Jul 12, 2006, 1:39 PM
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In reply to: just don't bother. I know my mother hates that I climb and am always running around in the mountains. It just sort of became taboo to talk about it. She knows I do it, knows I love it but is scared to death about it. So I just don't talk about it. There was a site somewhere that showed statistics of youth sport injuries. I think softball or something was number one! Climbing wasn't even on the radar...
Anykineclimb, I am not doubting you in any way that the site exists.. but would you happen to have a link for that? I did a couple of checks on google and couldn't find anything. I would really love to see those stats.
For the OP... I think that the advice of having your parents come down to the gym with you is the best bet. Outdoors will always freak them out, but if they can see what you enjoy in a controlled environment it will go a long way.
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markc
Jul 12, 2006, 2:38 PM
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Their fear may be due to preconceived notions about climbing rather than facts. Stress the safety aspect. Make sure to include the redundancy involved in anchors, the strength of the materials, the certification of climbing gear, and partner checks. Tell them of the different types of climbing, and honestly represent the risks involved in each. I recommend against sugar-coating it. Lastly, avoid the "There I was..." stories you'd share with friends around the camp fire.
I come from a family of firefighters, and I've had dangerous careers in the past. I think when your family is used to dealing with things of that sort and aware of our efforts to minimize risk, it goes a long way.
One thing I always think when reading this sort of thread is that some people's parents are right to be afraid. We've all witnessed inattentive belays, shoddy anchors when there's no excuse for them, and climbers biting off more than they can chew. Some of the most blatantly dangerous behavior I've seen has been at toproping and sport climbing crags, usually by Mountain Dew boys and the unfortunate young women accompanying them. One kid learns just enough about climbing to be dangerous, then starts "teaching" his peers. Bad, bad stuff.
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flipnfall
Jul 12, 2006, 3:12 PM
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In reply to: Just tell them that you could be out doing and/or pushin drugs or something.
Or just tell them that if you don't climb, you WILL do drugs! :lol:
On a serious note, I'm 34, married, 4 kids (did I just say 4, I meant to say 5) and have been climbing since I was a teenager. My dad STILL cannot stand that I climb. When I talk to him about it, he changes the topic. It was this way when I was a teenager. I have to say that the line 04c stated above actually helped my dad, but there was more to it. He needed to know that I was being careful and I included him conversations about what I did.
The greatest concern parents have is that their kids will be safe. Logically, the best response to a parent is demonstrating that you're responsible. Not only should you demonstrate this in the climbing arena, but in other areas of your life as well. If you're totally careless on a bike or in a car, your parents won't believe that you're careful at the crag.
With my dad this meant that I showed him how I tied knots and showed him a climbing book I was reading. I also introduced him to experienced climbers who were mentoring me. It made all the difference in the world. I asked him if he'd ever climbed something big. Well my dad opened up with all kinds of crazy stories about his childhood (stuff he did that he wouldn't tell his parents) and stuff he did in the military. He began to realize that I was just like him. It helped for him to revisit his youth. Now when he looks at me he sees a "mini-me" just like him. He's much more open to my climbing now when he sees I'm just like him.
Hope that helps!
GT
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c4c
Jul 12, 2006, 3:26 PM
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[In reply to: (never been a fan of safty gear like skateboard helmates).
maybe thats why you can't spell :roll:
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jaydenn
Jul 12, 2006, 4:30 PM
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Just remember:
1. You cannot change your parents minds. They need to do that themselves.
2. People fear what they do not understand. This is the root of most fears and violent behavior.
3. Education is typicaly the best way to allow people to form a good opinion.
That being said, Show naysayers the gear, the strength ratings (explain what 27 kilo Newtons is...), the methods, the redundancy, etc., etc.
Hopefully then, your parents will understand that climbing is a very safe activity.
It will also show them that you are responsible and you understand what you are doing.
You do know what your doing, right? :shock:
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