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subtle
Feb 22, 2005, 3:07 AM
Post #226 of 977
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In reply to: Dear n00b, You have got that totally RAD climbing lingo (did i get it right?) How do I learn that shiznit (oooo, im on a role)? Do I have to hang around bolderers? Please help, I can't ever send a v15 if I dont know it....
Well, since lack of vocabulary is probably the only thing keeping you from sending V15...I'll do what I can.
Your basic vocab list:
Steezos - style
Rad - radical
Pimp - any guy cooler than you
This Piece - here, wherever here is at the moment
Subtle - the opposite of Agro
Yo - use it like a period at the end of a sentence
Styley - utilizing excessive steezos
Brah - and guy approximately as cool as you
Gumb - any guy less cool than you
Agro - the opposite of subtle
Mad - crazy
Dope - cool
Radge Ish - hard climbing on sick problems. ex, Sharma
Can you use them all in a sentence? You bet!
Word, brah, I was up in this rad styley piece with this agro gumb and some subtle pimp who was working this mad radge ish with the dope steezos, yo.
V15, here you come...Pimp.
Allez. Homard.
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cor
Feb 22, 2005, 9:21 PM
Post #227 of 977
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it is not the symble but the higher quality desin and matereals that will help you climb a grade harder
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sactownclimber
Feb 22, 2005, 10:03 PM
Post #228 of 977
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In reply to: it is not the symble but the higher quality desin and matereals that will help you climb a grade harder
Let the flaming begin . . .
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subtle
Feb 22, 2005, 10:08 PM
Post #229 of 977
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In reply to: it is not the symble but the higher quality desin and matereals that will help you climb a grade harder
Frankly, I'm not so sure what to do with this one. Try as I might, I can't find a shoe question, ham sandwich reference, or veiled boulderer insult in there...anywhere. It's the ultimate tabula rasa, smooth surface no-friction slab of a post that we've all been dreading, nay fearing, all these years...The quasi-literate Loch Ness Sasquatch...it lives!
I will do the sensible thing for once...I'm gonna ignore it.
Allez. (not looking) Homard.
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viciado
Feb 23, 2005, 2:37 PM
Post #230 of 977
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Registered: May 9, 2003
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In reply to: it is not the symble but the higher quality desin and matereals that will help you climb a grade harder
Dear NoOb,
I am not sure, but I think what this humble boulderer (oxymoron) was trying to ask is whether the use of certain gear in a certain way makes it possible to climb the same grade but harder? For example, if I don't use a mis-matched pair of uber edgers and super smears but instead use my grandmas high tech name brand tennies and forego the use of chalk (fear), go bare headed (gasp), and put tape over the prana label on my shorts, can I safely say that my V0- project is really a V5? I mean I would be working with various dis-advantages involving style, ego, gear, and proper diet.
I do not doubt your wisdom nor do I put into question your noobdom. I simply ask the question that was perceived as unasked in the aforementioned post.
With Thanks,
Viciado
Suba. Lagosta.
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subtle
Feb 23, 2005, 3:40 PM
Post #231 of 977
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In reply to: In reply to: it is not the symble but the higher quality desin and matereals that will help you climb a grade harder I am not sure, but I think what this humble boulderer (oxymoron) was trying to ask is whether the use of certain gear in a certain way makes it possible to climb the same grade but harder? For example, if I don't use a mis-matched pair of uber edgers and super smears but instead use my grandmas high tech name brand tennies and forego the use of chalk (fear), go bare headed (gasp), and put tape over the prana label on my shorts, can I safely say that my V0- project is really a V5? I mean I would be working with various dis-advantages involving style, ego, gear, and proper diet. I do not doubt your wisdom nor do I put into question your noobdom. I simply ask the question that was perceived as unasked in the aforementioned post.
Here at Ask The NOOB Incorpororated, we are all about asking the unasked questions...and eating the uneaten ham sandwiches...so I do appreciate your no-doubt highly accurate interpretation of the underlying meaning of that somewhat...illiterately cryptic...initial post. RC.com...nay, the world...is in your debt.
The solution to the somewhat vexing problem of assessing the relative dope-ness of your send is to adopt a standardized set of modifiers, as determined by the best local ethics. Something...like this:
Modifiers to V-Grade of a Problem:
Less than 3 pieces of LogoWear (tm) +1
No beanie +2
Ugly beanie +0.5
Sent using good climber beta -0.5
Sent using beta from annoying gumb +1
Sent using Ask The NOOB beta +3
Sent using bad shoes +0.5
Sent using no shoes +1.5
Sent using snow shoes +5
Problem is in a gym -0.5
Problem is in not in a gym...on...a rock? +0.5
Sent after 1 Red Bull -0.5
Sent after 5 Red Bulls -3
Sent after giant philly cheesesteak +1.5
Sent during giant philly cheesesteak +3
Sent in presence of hot member of opposite sex +1
Downclimbed +0.5
Campused +1
Use of needless profanity -1
Use of deserved profanity +1
Good spotters -1
Sleeping/passed out spotters +1
Your dog is the spotter +0.5
So, as you can see, you may have either just climbed a V13 or a...-V4...it can really all depend. Cheer up, though...if you did just send a -V4, chances are it'll eventually get downrated to...-V5? Sweet!
Allez. (+1) Homard (+1)
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irontom
Feb 23, 2005, 9:28 PM
Post #232 of 977
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I should start by pointing out that I'm asking this question on behalf of my younger brother who is a great admirer of your work (he would ask himself but he is not allowed to use the Internet after the 'naked woman incident').
My brother is 10 but wants to be the best climber in the world when he is older and he wants advice on how to achieve this goal. He has already started using all the rad lingo (although not at the dinner table, my parents aren't too happy about him declaring he "wants to follow in the finger jams of his favourite dope pimps like Sharma") but he needs advice on what else he should do.
What diet should he follow, what exercise regime should he use, should he bother going to school or should he spend all his time working his project?
He also thinks his main problem is that on his measly pocket money he can't afford all the mad names on his clothes that he obviously needs if he ever going to send his project(or even better someone else's), would it be acceptable for him to write these names on his clothes with a pen, it would look like he was wearing the right gear and isn't that what matters?
Also what would be the best way for him to deal with the big kids at school who give him agro and call him 'monkey boy'?
He is awaiting your answer as eagerly as he awaits Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, can you help him?
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samshafer
Feb 24, 2005, 10:34 AM
Post #233 of 977
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Posts: 127
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Dear Noob,
I think the time is right for you to go syndicated...I'm talkin' best-selling book, Newspaper column, radio, TV. I can see it now, following in the footsteps of Dear Abby, giving advice to the forlorn uncool wannabe climbers thru-out the universe (or university, whichever).
I know that you've helped me become as cool as any California gay boulder-boy 'cuz now I know how to use "rad", "pimp" & "gumby" in a non-sentence. I'm throwing out all my sloppy Wal-Mart sweats & ratty T-shirts (leaving me virtually naked) & ordering the rad wardrobe you recommended. Unfortunately they don't sell beanies in Wyo, only cowboy hats or baseball caps.
But there's still hope; using "The Modifiers" I now see that I was really a 5.12 climber all those years that I fought my way up those gnarly approaches. No more of the adipose vs gravity struggle for me! But is it really my lack of wardrobe or is it the total absence of sliced swine luncheon meat in my sandwich? I am left to ponder...(or right to ponder?)
Now I must ask for one more bit of life-changing advice: Obviously, a soon-to-be cool non-bouldering Gumb like me cannot continue to use his real name for a Username on RC. All the cool names must surely be taken by now so what's a gumb to do to become pimp (or is it rad?). Would a better Username git me an invite to double date w/ Feral Raccoon or only make me want to take up bouldering?
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granite_grrl
Feb 24, 2005, 12:11 PM
Post #234 of 977
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Dear Noob,
All this wardrobe talk has got me thinking....I'm a Canadian, and as a Canadian its much easier to get my hands on a toque sporting a hockey team logo rather than the ideal Prana beanie.
Originally, I though this added a distinctive Canadian flare to my sends, but could this be the real reason why I can’t break the V1 barrier?
Please help!
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arun
Feb 24, 2005, 1:36 PM
Post #235 of 977
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Registered: Dec 8, 2003
Posts: 50
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Whats NOOB stand for then?
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subtle
Feb 24, 2005, 6:14 PM
Post #236 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
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In reply to: Would a better Username git me an invite to double date w/ Feral Raccoon or only make me want to take up bouldering?
Hmmmm, since as a boulderer my idea of a scorchingly hot date is accidentally over-spotting a random married woman or...nun...at the gym...I probably shouldn't be answering this one. But, since prudency and/or sensibility are not my trademarks, I will.
Yeh, bro, you definately need a new user name. If you were a salty old-school, RC.com OG circa 1982 vintage member (when you had to post via punch cards and magnetic tape), you could just use your first name and be all Madonna about things. Failing that, you could go with some clever play on what type of climbing you prefer...ClipOrWhip, CrashPadder, IceToolz or HamSandy both identify your speciality, and are darn cool, to boot. My name, for example, comes from the west coast boulderer slang 'Subtle, yo!' to encourage smooth climber movement.
You, on the other hand, have a very specific target for your name choice...a date with the legendary Feral Raccoon. I'd suggest going with something vaguely complimentary...because IHateRaccoons probably isn't going to get it done. FeralBadger? CrimpingRaccoon? V2+Marmoset? ThrutchLemur? Ahhh, how about...
UberCoolRabidV17DynoPimpJerboa
I'll book your reservation at Chateau Romance...table for two...
Allez. Homard.
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subtle
Feb 27, 2005, 4:26 AM
Post #237 of 977
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In reply to: I'm a Canadian, and as a Canadian its much easier to get my hands on a toque sporting a hockey team logo rather than the ideal Prana beanie. Originally, I though this added a distinctive Canadian flare to my sends, but could this be the real reason why I can’t break the V1 barrier?
Ok, firstly...toque? Toque? Seriously, who talks like that?
Anyhow, down to business. In order to diagnose your inability to send V1, let's review the popular sterotypes of Canadians...since that's how we Americans typically keep track of all you wierd foreigners. If you're anything like the Canadians...on TV...you are probably hockey obsessed, drink lots of beer, are a Mountie and ride a horse, say 'eh' a lot and love nationalized healthcare. None of this stuff helps, to be honest. Look at your typical American...massively self-absorbed, short attention span, prone to aggressive behavior, with a genetically programmed need to be better at meaningless things than other people...sheesh...given all that, it's certainly not surprising that we have 10 year olds sending V10...it's frankly amazing they all aren't.
So, as a Citizen of the Island of Canadia, what can you do to overcome your hideous natural disadvantages? I suppose I could give you some advice on diet, training, and overall motivation...like any of that stuff ever helped anybody. No, I'd recommend a far more logical approach...Go Metric. Nobody down here has any idea what any of those euro-styley faux-measurements are all about. So, when you're projecting some savage V2- and you can't pull off the ground...just scratch your head through your 'Leafs...gag...toque...and say "V2-...I dunno...back home this'd be a solid 9 Centimeter Kilo-grade." Every American within earshot will get all glassy-eyed...some may even fall into a math-induced stupor.
Because you know we Americans can't do math...
Allez. Kilo-Pimp. Homard.
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subtle
Feb 27, 2005, 4:40 AM
Post #238 of 977
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In reply to: Whats NOOB stand for then?
I'll let you pick:
a) Sage guru who conceals his wisdom under a thin veneer of insanity and rabid foaming incompetence.
b) Big ball 'O Sexy!
c) World's best V0+ Climber.
d) All of the above.
e) None of the above.
Allez. Essay Question. Homard.
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subtle
Feb 27, 2005, 5:25 AM
Post #239 of 977
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In reply to: My brother is 10 but wants to be the best climber in the world when he is older and he wants advice on how to achieve this goal. He has already started using all the rad lingo (although not at the dinner table, my parents aren't too happy about him declaring he "wants to follow in the finger jams of his favourite dope pimps like Sharma") but he needs advice on what else he should do. What diet should he follow, what exercise regime should he use, should he bother going to school or should he spend all his time working his project? He also thinks his main problem is that on his measly pocket money he can't afford all the mad names on his clothes that he obviously needs if he ever going to send his project(or even better someone else's), would it be acceptable for him to write these names on his clothes with a pen, it would look like he was wearing the right gear and isn't that what matters?
We at NOOBCo Industries feel that your brother would be a great candidate for our new climbing makover show Pimp My NOOB. We take a normal climber...sheesh, there's a contradiction in terms...and with help of our team of experts, totally re-vamp them into a freakish parody of what the mainstream thinks is cool and acceptable.
The Pimp My NOOB Team:
Dave Graham - Diet and Nutrition
Nate Gold - Grooming
Jason Kehl - Vocal Coach
Joe Kinder - Pimp Steezos
(Note: Actual Pimp My NOOB Team members may vary due to scheduling constraints, sponsor demands, the fact that we didn't tell any of them, and other assorted excuses to be named later.)
The Pimp My NOOB team will...hopefully...return your brother sporting the latest rad styles from DopeGun, Flasher, and Blerrr. He'll be the talk of the crag with his color-coordinated bling-ed out ninja pants and kangol beanie...to say nothing of his full-back tribal tatts and uber-downturned gangrene-inducing V19 shoes, complete with rubber so sticky, you'll have to spatula his feet off the problems after the send. He'll weigh 67lbs, have dreads down to his ass and be completely unable to grab onto anything without screaming "BZZZZZAT! AIIEEEE!!!". Rad, brah!
Allez. Crunk. Homard.
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feral_raccoon
Feb 27, 2005, 5:16 PM
Post #240 of 977
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Registered: Feb 18, 2005
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Dear N00b,
I humbly request that you turn your infinite wisdom for a few seconds to the question of priorities.
When one makes the decision to become a climber, it is clear from your advice that there are some obvious steps which must be taken. These include 1. acquiring the appropriate highly trendy climbing wardrobe; 2. adopting totally rad climber-lingo; 3. eating many ham sandwiches; 4. having absolutely no respect for French people.
I have taken to heart your advice and am faithfully following all these guiding principles.
But what of the time allocated to climbing? In essence I am asking that you shed light onto the importance of climbing in life. Should climbing be put above all else? Should it be the air we breathe, the ham we eat, and the rock we bleed on? Should there be a new climber-constitution in which the pursuit of happiness is replaced by the pursuit of rock?
Last week I was fed up with my job, fed up with the weather, and fed up with non-climbers with their deluded and dysfunctional wardrobes, lingo, and life priorities. So I called seagypsy and proposed that we come up with lame excuses to not be at work for a few weeks and buy ourselves plane tickets to Mexico. Of course, she was amenable, and declared “Job or no job! Money or no money! Climbing is what we live for!” so I am currently packing my bags and ecstatically dreaming of that glorious moment, just days away, when I become at one with the limestone. Our respective bosses were not so understanding, but we decided that nothing should stand between ourselves and climbing.
Oh wise N00b, please tell me, are we on the right path to climbing enlightenment? Should one sacrifice everything in order to eat, live and breathe climbing?
The Feral Raccoon
p.s. to you guys out there with feral-raccoon-dating-fantasies, think about this: would you rather date a feral raccoon who might turn around at any second and bite your butt, or would you rather have a nice kindergarten teacher who is waiting at home for you with freshly baked apple-pie for you after a hard day on the rock?
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subtle
Feb 28, 2005, 2:32 AM
Post #241 of 977
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In reply to: Should climbing be put above all else? Should it be the air we breathe, the ham we eat, and the rock we bleed on? Should there be a new climber-constitution in which the pursuit of happiness is replaced by the pursuit of rock? Oh wise N00b, please tell me, are we on the right path to climbing enlightenment? Should one sacrifice everything in order to eat, live and breathe climbing? The Feral Raccoon p.s. to you guys out there with feral-raccoon-dating-fantasies, think about this: would you rather date a feral raccoon who might turn around at any second and bite your butt, or would you rather have a nice kindergarten teacher who is waiting at home for you with freshly baked apple-pie for you after a hard day on the rock?
You know, this is such a good question I was seriously tempted to peer into the deepest recesses of my tortured NOOB soul in an attempt to provide some insight...some clairity...some raison d'etre...but then I realized that I sold my soul long ago in exchange for a date with some alleged internet climber vixen...man, apparently 'hot' and...gulp...'female'...are ambiguous terms these days...but I digress...
Climbing is a fickle mistress, Feral Raccoon, and like all fickle mistresses, she is a poorly applied metaphor that is frequently mis-used in an attempt to distract attention from the tepid, weak-ass philosophy on deck in the next sentence. Climbing is whatever you choose to make of it, no? (Shazam! I warned you...)
I mean, sure, the swank lifestyle of the hardcore dirtbag is pretty darn seductive. Free from the tyranny of soap, rent, and 401k matching contributions you are free to hone your sloper pimp hand amongst the 'selling bodily fluids for gas money' crowd. Some of the strongest climbers I've ever met didn't have shoes...or...names...but they did have dogs and frequently...flutes...for some reason. They'd just come tootling in out of the desert, drink some snowmelt, campus your project, steal your ham sandwich crusts and then pad back out into the wasteland. Good people...I miss them...the dirty sandwich-stealing bastards.
Just remember, though, you can't go back...just like in The Matrix. Once they unplug you, it's pretty hard to slot back in to the cubicle with your newfound dog and flute. Nobody around the water cooler will care about your crimp strength. They're going to make you wear shoes, my dear Raccoon...with very poor smearing and edging characteristics.
Don't bite off more than you can chew. Freedom is a tasty sandwich indeed, but what makes the ham so darn succulent is the very illicit nature of it. Skipping work to climb is dirty good fun...but when climbing is your work...what are you going to do? Skip climbing to...data process?
Allez. Take the Blue Pill. Homard.
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subtle
Feb 28, 2005, 6:08 PM
Post #242 of 977
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In reply to: p.s. to you guys out there with feral-raccoon-dating-fantasies, think about this: would you rather date a feral raccoon who might turn around at any second and bite your butt, or would you rather have a nice kindergarten teacher who is waiting at home for you with freshly baked apple-pie for you after a hard day on the rock?
Survey says...
92% of Trad climbers prefer the Feral Raccoon, but prefer ham to either.
87% of Sport climbers prefer the Kindergarten teacher, as long as she can belay them for an hour as they hangdog...errr...work the proj.
99% of Ice climbers prefer their tools to either.
100% of boulderers are 16 years old and have never seen a woman other than a schoolteacher, but generally like small furry animals, too.
Allez. Homard.
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hulgan
Feb 28, 2005, 6:46 PM
Post #243 of 977
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Registered: Feb 16, 2004
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dear NOOB,
The guys at my gym are constantly talking and... like... bonding. It's sort of gross.
To help isolate myself from all this interaction I've been bouldering with my clunky OG iPod for about a year now. Problem is that it's bulky and old and heavy and not very sweat-proof. I think I could send the V1 purple traverse (Drain-O) with an iPod shuffle but how am I supposed to get by with just one gig of space?
Could you recommend a small, light device with about a terabyte of storage? Flesh colored with tribal features would be a plus.
If such a device is not yet available please recommend some form of Boulderer repellent. I like to boulder but GOD I don't want to become one. *shudder*
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subtle
Feb 28, 2005, 7:28 PM
Post #244 of 977
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In reply to: I think I could send the V1 purple traverse (Drain-O) with an iPod shuffle but how am I supposed to get by with just one gig of space? Could you recommend a small, light device with about a terabyte of storage? Flesh colored with tribal features would be a plus. If such a device is not yet available please recommend some form of Boulderer repellent. I like to boulder but GOD I don't want to become one. *shudder*
Fortunately, we at Ask The NOOB, Inc. are running a 2 for 1 special today, so I'll answer both questions for the low, low price of...free. Damn, our profit margins stink...anyhow.
The key to climbing really hard is to listen to the same song over and over and over and over and...you get the idea...until you don't even need your iPod any more. There was a mega-classic 5.8+ testpiece called Gravy Train at the Planet Rock gym in Ann Arbor...man, that was my lifetime proj...I finally gagged my way up it with the help of 'Third Eye' by Tool. It just fit the moves, y'know? Dum dum dum, dum dum dum, grab the jug, grab the jug...all the way to the top. For a traverse, you're going to want something long and rythmic...I'd suggest the Eric Kupper mix of Dreaming...if it's good enough for Liv Sansoz to climb to, it's probably OK for you, too.
Now, your second question is a piece of cake...I'm surprised you didn't figure it out on your own. You want boulderer repellant?
Get a rope.
Like garlic to a vampire, like a silver bullet to a werewolf, a rope is the last thing any boulderer wants to see. Heave 60 meters of floss at any gaggle of sloper-slapping crimp pimps and they'll scatter like it was mandatory shower day. This pretty much makes Soap-On-A-Rope their mortal enemy, but that's a subject for another post...
Allez. The Twine, it buuurns! Homard.
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feral_raccoon
Feb 28, 2005, 9:43 PM
Post #245 of 977
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“You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain -- but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life; that there's something wrong with the world; you don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?”
“Not enough rock climbing?” the feral raccoon asks
“Do you really want to know what it means to be a rock climber? Rocks are everywhere, they are all around us. You can see them when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel them calling when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes; it is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.”
And the feral raccoon asks, “What truth?”
“That you are a slave, feral raccoon, like everyone else, you were born into bondage; born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch; a prison for your mind. Unfortunately, no one can be told what it really means to break out of that prison and become a rock climber. You have to experience it for yourself.”
In reply to: Just remember, though, you can't go back...just like in The Matrix. Once they unplug you, it's pretty hard to slot back in to the cubicle with your newfound dog and flute. Nobody around the water cooler will care about your crimp strength. They're going to make you wear shoes, my dear Raccoon...with very poor smearing and edging characteristics. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Freedom is a tasty sandwich indeed, but what makes the ham so darn succulent is the very illicit nature of it. Skipping work to climb is dirty good fun...but when climbing is your work...what are you going to do? Skip climbing to... data process? Allez. Take the Blue Pill. Homard.
Oh, dear N00b, are you really telling me to accept the shoes with the very poor edging and smearing characteristics so that I can stand around the water cooler and be like the rest of them? To settle for only maybe having odd weekends of life to throw slim-jims at French people, stuff my face with ham, and show my rad steezos on some radge ish? Maybe Morpheus got it wrong – maybe there is more to life than red or blue. Maybe there is magenta and pink and purple too. Oh N00b, maybe you can find me a purple pill…. One that will enable me to spend all the days and weeks and months I desire working on my crimp strength, dreaming of the day I can send V0, never using soap and eating lots of ham, and I can still fit in enough data-processing to keep those matching 401k contributions coming in and the old pay-check which is so crucial in financing my patagonia-prana wardrobe… Oh, wonderful, sage-like N00b that you are, please please please, tell me there is a purple way!
Feral Raccoon
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subtle
Feb 28, 2005, 11:14 PM
Post #246 of 977
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In reply to: Oh, wonderful, sage-like N00b that you are, please please please, tell me there is a purple way! Feral Raccoon
Are you ready for the mysteries of The Purple Way, my dear Raccoon?
You shall need to feel The Force like Master Yoda...to be as all-knowing as Oz himself...and have the epicurean taste for Ham of Hannibal Lecter. Along the way there will be Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my...to say nothing of unwashed spraylord beta-whores, unwashed bumbling gumbies and really frigging dirty lycanthropic boulderers...you can pretty much leave the soap at home, dig?
The Purple Way is the path of absolute...well...maybe I'd better not say.
So, are you ready?
Allez. I am the Keymaster. Homard.
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ultramegaclassic
Feb 28, 2005, 11:30 PM
Post #247 of 977
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Posts: 17
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In reply to: Are you ready for the mysteries of The Purple Way, my dear Raccoon? You shall need to feel The Force like Master Yoda...to be as all-knowing as Oz himself...and have the epicurean taste for Ham of Hannibal Lecter. Along the way there will be Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my...to say nothing of unwashed spraylord beta-whores, unwashed bumbling gumbies and really frigging dirty lycanthropic boulderers...you can pretty much leave the soap at home, dig? The Purple Way is the path of absolute...well...maybe I'd better not say. So, are you ready?
To feel the force like Master Yoda? To be as all-knowing as Oz himself? These are great and weighty things you are asking of me, oh N00b. The path ahead must be more tortuous and fraught with hardship than I can possibly imagine. I have put my best beanie on my head, started long and hard at the rock-rings in my living room, and eaten a round of ham while contemplating the question of whether or not I am ready for this. And I think, dear N00b, that I am. Tell me, what is required of me in order to begin along the path to unraveling the mysteries of the purple way?
Your devoted Feral Raccoon
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feral_raccoon
Feb 28, 2005, 11:37 PM
Post #248 of 977
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Registered: Feb 18, 2005
Posts: 21
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In reply to: Are you ready for the mysteries of The Purple Way, my dear Raccoon? You shall need to feel The Force like Master Yoda...to be as all-knowing as Oz himself...and have the epicurean taste for Ham of Hannibal Lecter. Along the way there will be Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my...to say nothing of unwashed spraylord beta-whores, unwashed bumbling gumbies and really frigging dirty lycanthropic boulderers...you can pretty much leave the soap at home, dig? The Purple Way is the path of absolute...well...maybe I'd better not say. So, are you ready?
To feel the force like Master Yoda? To be as all-knowing as Oz himself? These are great and weighty things you are asking of me, oh N00b. The path ahead must be more tortuous and fraught with hardship than I can possibly imagine. I have put my best beanie on my head, started long and hard at the rock-rings in my living room, and eaten a round of ham while contemplating the question of whether or not I am ready for this. And I think, dear N00b, that I am. Tell me, what is required of me in order to venture forth along the path to unraveling the mysteries of the purple way?
Your devoted Feral Raccoon
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esoj00
Mar 1, 2005, 5:48 AM
Post #249 of 977
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Registered: Feb 9, 2005
Posts: 88
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Mr nOOb i was thinking of buying this
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=50815&item=7138566976&rd=1
it says its great for begginers!!
Tell me what you think
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viciado
Mar 1, 2005, 4:21 PM
Post #250 of 977
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Registered: May 9, 2003
Posts: 429
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esj00 wrote:
In reply to: Mr nOOb i was thinking of buying this cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll it says its great for begginers!! Tell me what you think
While I anxiously await the words of wisdom of sensei NoOb, I ponder this exciting offering brought to us by e bay and recall the famous words of the cowboy in the Pace Picante add several years ago:
Get a Rope!
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