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gritgirl
Oct 5, 2004, 7:10 PM
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Registered: Jul 2, 2004
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My husband and I have been bouldering for about 6 months. In the beginning, he was/is a natural. He has tons of strength and is mister "dyno move". I on the other hand wasn't terrible but I definitely lacked technique and the courage to go that little bit further. That seems to be changing and I'm not sure how he is taking it. The other day we were climbing and I found myself really feeling good about my technique, really enjoying pushing it harder and even giving him suggestions. He was really kind about it, seemed to want the advice but later on he made a little comment like "you're better than me now". I know that's not true, I know he doesn't want me to fail just so he feels better but there is that little something there behind his eyes. I refuse to hold back from really trying and pretend to suck, but I would like to soothe his ego a bit as he's a real sweetie and usually very supportive. By the way, He's a bit older than me and about to turn forty and I wonder if it's the old mid-life crisis kicking in (although he has a killer body, abs you could wash clothes on and is usually mistaken for someone 10 years younger, maybe that's another reason I still want him feeling like the king of the jungle, if you catch my drift) . Any reasonable advice would be helpful! Thanks ladies!
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crazygirl
Oct 5, 2004, 8:50 PM
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Registered: Aug 27, 2003
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maybe he'll see your progress in a positive way, and train harder
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abbysomebody
Oct 6, 2004, 3:34 AM
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Registered: Aug 24, 2004
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When it was the other way around (when he was progressing faster than you) do you think he was asking himself the same questions you are asking us? My guess would be no, so I would say just enjoy yourself and let him deal with his own issues. If you guys are close maybe you could ask him about it- maybe it's truly not an issue for him. However, if it really becomes that much of a problem for him, he's probably not worth the trouble. Sounds like you might just be starting out and you really need partners who are super supportive, not someone who is going to hold you back because they can't deal with their own ego. Sorry if that's not what you want to here, but that's kinda how i see it.
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missedyno
Oct 6, 2004, 12:40 PM
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Registered: Nov 21, 2001
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check out this thread on encouraging members of the opposite sex:
http://www.rockclimbing.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=44277
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abalch
Nov 5, 2004, 11:31 PM
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Registered: Jul 11, 2003
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I will interject--Don't "dumb down" your climbing ablility. Unless your husband has issues, you are just lying to him if you don't climb your best. It is a commonly understood fact that while men (sometimes) are stronger for their weight, the female body is better balanced for getting the weight on footholds, and most women more than make up for the strength difference by being better at technique. It could be that he has just hit a wall in his climbing ability. Does he climb with anyone besides you? Maybe, also you might consider, has he been holding back his own ability to let you feel accomplishment. I am not saying he is, but if he was, you might notice in his climbing style.
If he seems to have had a chnage in his climbing lately, perhaps it is not directly related to his climbing ability. He may have other issues that are troubling him, and the issues are just showing up best in how he climbs. Talk with your husband.
BUT, DON"T BRING YOUR CLIMBING DOWN TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER. THAT, IN THE END, WILL DO BOTH OF YOU MUCH HARM.
I now return you to your previous programming.
Adieu
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