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hawgdrver
Feb 2, 2004, 2:44 AM
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rokshoxbkr19
Feb 2, 2004, 3:05 AM
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I would have to say that Chicks do not dig being called chicks, that is my advice, good luck with all your other......stuff :roll:
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muncher
Feb 2, 2004, 3:13 AM
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What about the Bernoulli Principal and it's effects on said hair combing technique. And mate, pastels, pastels for sure, especially in combo with some fine zippered shoes.
Great post anyway, good to see someone with that kind of ability around. The site definetely needs it sometimes.
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reno
Feb 2, 2004, 3:25 AM
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Now THAT was funny. In the interest of furthering the scientific body of knowledge amongst the climbing society, I shall offer my input.
Disclaimer: Most of the stuff I'm writing can be found in the following references: "Zen and the Art of Leading Trad," "Chicken Soup for the Climbing Soul," "Freedom of the Hills: 312th Edition" (due on shelves sometime in 2304 AD,) and "Falling...Splat: An Annotated History of Flailing and Dangling on the Sheer Granite Cliffs of Rural Iowa."
In reply to: Does anyone have a good technique for compensating for the obvious problems created by the coriolis effect? Also, do chicks like the left hand comb?
To counter the Coriolis Effect, you can try the Vintanelli Technique. It involves a scalpel, some 6-0 Vicryl suture thread (best results with a PC-1 needle,) and three bottles of Vitalis for Men hair tonic. As to the chicks question, I'm certainly the WRONG guy to ask.
In reply to: I've been trying to develop an excel spread sheet to calculate the ideal color for a various sun intensity/angle/cloud cover/micron range, but I'm stuck. Any techniques? Should I just buy a lot wider variety of climbing outfits? Also, do chicks like pastels or primary colors better?
There is a fine spreadsheet for download at www.radiation_exposure_and_you.com, which is the website for the New York Times bestseller "Living with Lethal Radiation (or, How I turned my third nipple into a money maker,)" by G. Lowinthedark, Gamma Press. You probably don't need to buy more clothes. A true dirtbag will have more ropes than underwear, so skip the clothes and go buy a skinny rope. And again, as to the chick question, I am the WRONG guy to ask.
In reply to: Assuming I can't optimize my wardrobe to the correct micron range, is there any way to compensate for the resultant loss of muscular efficiency by altering the configuration of my gear? In other words, should I clip my chalk bag to my harness with a carabiner, or wear it around my waist on a strap? What color should the chalk bag be?
Try leaving the gear at the base of the climb. It certainly won't be as heavy while you're on the route. Sparing that, bring only the bare minimum: Three stoppers, three slings, and a locker biner. Cams are for weenies. I have solved the problem of the chalkbag by simply tucking my chalk ball between my cheek and gum. Flavor lasts me all day long, and when I need to chalk up my hands, all I gotta do is spit.
In reply to: Hydration is obviously important. What does everyone drink, and what is everyone's favorite flavor? What ratio of of sugar to water should I shoot for in the mix? Should it be refrigerated? What color camelbak should I get? Are camelbaks even cool? Do they make one that will hold an MP3 player?
Here, I am an expert. I do NOT suggest water, Gatorade, PowerAde, or any other such silliness. If you REALLY want an extra boost while climbing, may I suggest a quadruple shot of espresso with lemon and salt. Guaranteed to cure what ails ya, and the minor jitters imparted by the caffine will help you slot those three stoppers in quick time.
Sugar is not needed, unless you're a girly man, Boulder resident, or a Marine.
I suggest getting a Camelback in a loud neon green or pink.
I can't even spell MP3, so can't help ya there.
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nnichols
Feb 2, 2004, 4:13 AM
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Chicks like guys who just wear "head protection." Oops, never mind, I'm thinking about the Mr. January, February, and March post. :oops:
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hosh
Feb 2, 2004, 5:39 AM
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I've found several alternitaves to those heavy, bulky, and otherwise awkward "cams". If you're interested in getting some lighter gear that's sure to wow the ladies, try using a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Depending on the size of the crack, you'll need anywhere from 35-150 cards stacked flat. I still haven't figured out how to sling them, so if you have any innovations, let me know. The other alternative I've been experimenting with is over-due Library books. If you send a sling down the spind and wedge the book in place with a pencil, it should hold a fall, but I'm not sure how many kN's it'll hold. I'm still trying to determine the correlation between the late fee and integrity of the system. I'll give you the specs. when I've done some more extensive testing. Bubble wrap works well also and my favorite for those thin seams and pin scars is used band-aides. You can maximize on the sticky adheasive when placing these little devils. And clothing colors? By all means, go hyper-color. you won't have to worry about wardrobe problems anymore, the more you work, the more colors you'll have on your shirt. Now for the tricky problem of hydration... I've found that drinking juice in it's concentrate form works best. The sugar content is at it's higest BEFORE you add the water so why foul the system up? Chalk... A little known secret: baby powder is lighter than chalk, keeps your hands soft and silky and adds a plesant aroma to your person. Chicks like things that smell nice. Carry a bottle of baby powder to the crag and all the ladies will flock to you wondering what that heavenly stuff is. The other alternative, though not as cost effective, is to use cooking flour. Doesn't have quite the same effect on the hands as chalk, but from what I'm told, it's a classy alternative. Girls like a man who bakes, I'm told. I don't hink you'll need that microsoft excel spread sheet once you get your self a new handy-dandy body waxing kit. Bodily hair adds undesirable weight. On those tricky and long boulder problems, every ounce counts!! Less is less in this feild. And I've heard so many negative things about those "Camel back" things. Why not try an i-Pod? I know it has nothing to do with hydration, but it takes care of your MP3 problem and it'll fit in that camel-back you didn't buy. most Nalgene's have a loop that you can sling with a $1.50 carabiner (the kind you can buy in the check-outline at Safeway). I hope these helpful hints and tips work for you next time you're out at the local Crag trying to wow the ladies.
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bighigaz
Feb 2, 2004, 5:41 AM
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In reply to: Hi, I'm pretty new to the sport and have a couple of questions about technique. I climb around v5 in the gym, 5.9-5.10 sport, and about 5.5-5.6 trad. I am right handed and live in the northern hemisphere, but comb my hair to the left. Does anyone have a good technique for compensating for the obvious problems created by the coriolis effect? Also, do chicks like the left hand comb? On warm days I wear a red prana shirt, and on cold days, a black marmot fleece. I've been trying to decide whether the level of radiation attracted by each is optimized for the temperatures I normally climb in. I've been trying to develop an excel spread sheet to calculate the ideal color for a various sun intensity/angle/cloud cover/micron range, but I'm stuck. Any techniques? Should I just buy a lot wider variety of climbing outfits? Also, do chicks like pastels or primary colors better? Assuming I can't optimize my wardrobe to the correct micron range, is there any way to compensate for the resultant loss of muscular efficiency by altering the configuration of my gear? In other words, should I clip my chalk bag to my harness with a carabiner, or wear it around my waist on a strap? What color should the chalk bag be? Hydration is obviously important. What does everyone drink, and what is everyone's favorite flavor? What ratio of of sugar to water should I shoot for in the mix? Should it be refrigerated? What color camelbak should I get? Are camelbaks even cool? Do they make one that will hold an MP3 player? Thanks in advance for the help.
Um... Yes... I mean, No... umm... can I get an aspirin. My nogin hurts. :roll:
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hoofers_andy
Feb 2, 2004, 6:06 AM
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must be cold in alaska this time of year heh? i'm just assuming due to the length of the two posts by alaskans in this thread... funny sh!t though.
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hawgdrver
Feb 2, 2004, 6:24 AM
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Like it's balmy in Mad city this time of year.
Don't change the subject, this is serious sh!t we're talking about here.
What color's your chalk bag, anyway? Pink? Noob.
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hosh
Feb 2, 2004, 7:57 AM
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After about a week of temps around the 2-4 degree level, it finally warmed up to the upper 20's, lower 30's. And I grew up in Hawaii... All that goes through my mind is "spring's coming, longer days... spring's coming, longer days... spring's coming, longer days... spring's coming, longer days..."
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coldclimb
Feb 2, 2004, 8:46 PM
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Actually the odd nature of these posts is due to the incredible heat wave rolling across the state right now. It went from below zero all the way up to 35 last night. I feel kinda queezy, and I'm finally able to go outside in less than a long sleeve shirt. It's kinda scaring me! :shock:
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quickclips
Feb 2, 2004, 8:54 PM
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you know I'm having the same problem with my color schemes. I just can't seem to acsent my cheek bones so that the chicks will want me.
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hawgdrver
Feb 3, 2004, 3:34 AM
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gregtrammell
Feb 3, 2004, 3:48 AM
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the hair problem can be fixed by shaving your head. as for the color schemes, you may just try free soloing in the nude. all problems should now be solved.
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hosh
Feb 3, 2004, 9:08 PM
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spring's comming, longer days... spring's comming, longer days... spring's comming, longer days... spring's comming, longer days...
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deleted
Deleted
Feb 3, 2004, 9:14 PM
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can we move this thread to the BPE page...or best post ever.
I wish I was smart enough to ask those questions...
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hawgdrver
Feb 9, 2004, 5:05 AM
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mm
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hawgdrver
Feb 9, 2004, 5:22 AM
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maculated
Feb 9, 2004, 5:29 AM
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maculated moved this thread from General to Community.
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reprieve
Feb 9, 2004, 5:30 AM
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In reply to: Also, should I get Mad Rocks or Sportivas, and what color?
that's a really subjective question. go to REI or whatever store you like and try out as many different shoes as possible.
and getting a better climbing shoe is going to matter to you much more than what color they are when you're dangling by your fingertips trying desperately to toe into a crack
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hawgdrver
Feb 9, 2004, 5:33 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: Also, should I get Mad Rocks or Sportivas, and what color? that's a really subjective question. go to REI or whatever store you like and try out as many different shoes as possible. and getting a better climbing shoe is going to matter to you much more than what color they are when you're dangling by your fingertips trying desperately to toe into a crack
You think?
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iamnotender
Feb 9, 2004, 5:36 AM
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one of the few posts that actually motivated me to reply. aaaaahahahaha. that definately brought the late-night funny, moreso than conan. i love it how *some* people took you seriously. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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jumpingrock
Feb 9, 2004, 6:50 AM
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In reply to: Also, should I get Mad Rocks or Sportivas, and what color?
This is a very interesting question that you pose here. Mad rock or Sportiva's? Very Very interesting. There are of course several considerations one has to make on this topic. First: Chick factor. Second: Weight. Of course chicks who can get over the left handed hair comb really generally arn't looking at your shoes. Generally once they pass your hair they stop at your eyes. So in terms of chick factor I would worry more about getting colour contacts. Since girls generally like lighter eyes I would personally pick either almond or greenish blue. However, some more confident guys go for the bright pink contacts. Chicks really dig that but you gotta have balls to wear bright pink contacts. In terms of weight, colour becomes really important. As we all know black reflects the least amount of light and therefore must absorb it. Therefore black shoes will absorb the most and consquently must wiegh the most. White on the other hand will weigh the least because it will relect most of the weight gained through contact with light. Of course if you always climb at night or in dark caves than you don't have to worry about this. Though climbing at night will take away from the effectiveness of the contacts and is therefore not recommended. There is one more solution and this is the one that I particularly recommend. Go and get a resoleing kit from your local climbing store and super glue the sticky rubber to your feet. This will allow you to not only climb at any time but will also reduce the weight of the shoe you will not be wearing. Of course your skin will be absorbing light and therefore gaining weight but with a proper diet consisting of grapefruit and suger you will effectively reduce all the weight that will be gained through exposure to the sun.
I hope I have helped.
Jolly Jumping Jackrock
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hawgdrver
Feb 9, 2004, 8:10 AM
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